Finding Love
by Poicale
Summary: Remus and Sirius were together until Sirius went to Azkaban. 2 yrs later, Remus meets a Malfoy. Can they find love? SLASH! RemusCassius Malfoy OMC. Nominated for Golden Snitch Award for the Best Romance with an OC category.
1. Discoveries

Author's Notes: This is slash (male/male) so don't read if you don't like it. This is a pairing of Remus Lupin and an original character created by moi. This is a prequel to my story Old and New Relations. Please read and review! I _love _reviews!! (Oh, and I don't play chess but I wanted the characters too – so I hope my description isn't too totally un-chess-like)

**Chapter 1 Discoveries**

James and Lily had been dead for two years, Sirius was in Azkaban, Peter was dead. At 23, Remus was the last of the Marauders. He felt very alone and much older than his years. Mad-Eye Moody, who Remus knew from the Order of the Phoenix, invited Remus to a small dinner party one autumn evening. Remus suspected Moody wanted to make sure that Remus got a warm meal. Remus struggled to find work and was too proud to accept handouts from members of the now-disbanded Order. He went to Moody's out of a sense of obligation, Moody had always been kind to him, but he didn't expect the night to be anything special. Dumbledore had been there and Minerva McGonagall, too as well as someone he had never met before.

Cassius Malfoy was 19, he was tall and blond, like the rest of the Malfoys. Remus had had run-ins with Lucius who'd been 13 years older and known for being a Death Eater although he had said after Voldemort's downfall that he'd been under a spell. Remus vaguely remembered seeing Cassius at Hogwarts although Cassius remembered him more. Remus was stunned to learn that he was Sirius' cousin, Sirius had never mentioned him. He was just as handsome as Sirius, Remus thought as he sat across the table from Cassius. He had the opposite coloring of Sirius. Instead of jet black hair that fell artfully into grey eyes and tanned skin, Cassius had silver blond hair that was kept short, green eyes and pale skin. Although he was a Malfoy, a family infamous for being interested in the Dark Arts, not battling them, Cassius had just completed the first year of auror training. He was Moody's favorite in the class. Moody told a story about the current class of aurors and Cassius joined in the telling, laughing. Cassius' eyes met Remus' and he felt a jolt of arousal, he was struck by how – beautiful, for lack of a better word, Cassius was.

At the end of dinner, Cassius casually asked Remus if he'd like to go see a Quidditch game. Cassius was good friends with Stevens on the Chudley Cannons and had been given box tickets for the game against Puddlemere United in a few weeks. Remus had said yes before he had really thought about it. But when the day came, he had a wonderful time. Cassius seemed more guarded when they were in public but Remus supposed that was understandable for an auror in training, and a Malfoy at that. It had been a change to laugh and forget about the pain of the past years. They started hanging out on the weekends, Cassius's auror training kept him too busy during the week. Although Cassius was a Malfoy, when they were alone, or around Moody, he didn't act like one at all. He was funny, warm and very attentive. He and Remus talked for hours. He always made sure Remus ate something, and had warm clothes on. Sometimes he slung his arm around Remus, the way James and Sirius used to when they were all at school. For the first time in more than two years, Remus had a friend, he wasn't alone.

* * *

Cassius and Remus were playing wizard chess at Windy Corner, Cassius's house, on rainy Saturday afternoon. They had been friends for just over three months.

"Remus, you like men, sexually, right?"

The question caused Remus to cough and knock over the pawn he had been about to move. Cassius was watching him closely.

"Yes." Remus felt his face turning red. He'd only ever kissed Sirius but he had known that he wasn't interested in women since he was young. His parents had known too and still had loved him, he had been very lucky, not too many parents would have loved their werewolf son who was also gay, but his parents did, very much. He moved the pawn and then sat back, wiping his suddenly sweaty hands on his faded jeans.

"How many have you dated?" Cassius picked up his castle and moved it.

"Uh…one, but I don't know if it really was dating, we just fooled around." Remus pretended to be concentrating on his next move but inside he was panicking. What if Cassius didn't want to be his friend now that he knew he was gay. He had seemed fine with the news that Remus was a werewolf, Remus had told him after the second full moon had happened after they met. Remus was worried this new revelation would be too much.

"Really? I would have thought you would have dated more." Cassius sat back in his chair and looked at Remus appraisingly. Remus looked back at him, not sure how to react to the statement or the look he was receiving, but he started to calm down a bit, Cassius seemed to be taking the news well. He looked down at the board and moved one of his castles to challenge Cassius'.

"I've dated seven." Cassius said calmly.

"Men?" Remus heard his voice crack.

"Yes…well, a few were boys, when I was at Hogwarts."

"I…" Remus realized after a moment that his mouth had been hanging open.

"You didn't know." Cassius said with an amused lilt in his voice.

"No." Remus was stunned at this news.

"You're number seven." Green eyes surveyed his face, watching for his reaction.

"What??" Remus hadn't thought he could be more shocked but he was. He wondered if he was still breathing – maybe he was hallucinating.

"I only mention this because it occurred to me recently that you didn't seem to act like we were dating…I didn't want to move too quickly because Moody told me you'd been really hurt by someone…but then I thought maybe you thought that we were just friends, and I want to be your friend but I'd also like us to be dating." Cassius' voice was smooth and cool. "Would that be ok? If we started dating?" Cassius leaned forward. For one wild moment, Remus thought Cassius was going to kiss him, but he just moved one of his chess pieces. Remus let out the breath he'd been holding, feeling a little disappointed. "Well? Do you need time to think about it? If you don't find me attractive, just tell me and we'll be friends."

"Oh…No…" Remus was flustered.

"No, you don't find me attractive?" Cassius's left eyebrow arched but his voice remained smooth.

"I…I f-find you attractive." Remus whispered, unable to maintain the eye contact. Cassius was more than attractive, he was beautiful, Remus had once seen a classical statue in a muggle book and he thought Cassius looked very much like it. He was lean and muscular, with long fingers that Remus had, on more than one occasion, imagined gliding over his skin.

"So, would you want to date me?" The voice was less cool than before.

"I'm a werewolf." Remus knew it wasn't an answer but the fact he was a werewolf was a huge part of his life – especially his love life.

"I don't care. I was glad you told me yourself, it meant that you trusted me, but I knew you were a werewolf back at school – Aunt Black told Father that Sirius was friends with a werewolf, it wasn't hard to figure out who…."

"Oh…."

"You haven't given me an answer yet – do you want to date me, yes or no?"

"Yes." Remus whispered, he couldn't get his voice to work properly. He couldn't believe Cassius wanted to date him.

"Brilliant! Your move."

"What?" Remus wondered if that meant he should kiss Cassius.

"Your turn, we're still playing chess, did you forget?" Cassius smiled warmly at him.

"Oh. Right." He looked down. He moved one of his knights into a fight with one of Cassius's castles, he lost.

"Checkmate." Cassius smiled as he moved his other castle. "I'm glad we had this talk, Remus. I'm glad you know we're dating now." His voice had a sly tone to it which always made Remus smile. "I wish you could stay for supper but I've got four chapters of reading to get done. Moody is holding a special session tomorrow morning." He stood up, stretching his arms over his head, his shirt rode up a bit and Remus could see a bit of his muscular stomach. "I'll see you next weekend?"

"No…it's a full moon." Remus said sadly as he stood up too and headed towards the kitchen to floo home. He spent full moons alone since all the Marauders were gone now – it was horrible and violent but he had heard from Moody that there was research being done for a potion to help werewolves during their transformations. He hoped it would be done soon.

"Then the next weekend, come for lunch on Saturday."

"No, you always have me over, come to my place for dinner. I'll cook."

"All right. Take care." Cassius reached over and brushed his hand over Remus' cheek. Tabby, the animagus who lived with Cassius as his housekeeper, rushed forward with a covered plate of supper and shoved it into his hands as he stepped into the fireplace to floo home. Remus was already whirling on his way home before he could refuse the handout. Tabby was tricky like that – but he was grateful for the meal.

* * *

In two weeks, they were at Remus' parents house, where Remus had been living since moving from the flat he and Sirius had shared after Sirius had been arrested. Remus's father had died during his 7th year at Hogwarts, his mother had died a few months before Lily and James. His parents, who had over fifty when Remus was born, had saved their money to pay off the house so he would always have a place to live even after they were gone. He was grateful for their love and determination to make sure he would have a roof over his head. Remus was busy cooking dinner, he had gotten a short-term job from Moody a few weeks back and actually had a paycheck. It was a relief to Remus's pride to be able to provide the food for a change.

"You know – today's our four month anniversary." Cassius said casually from where he was sitting at the table, Remus had refused to let him help.

"Really? How can that be?" Remus was stirring the pot of pasta on the stove, he'd decided to cook without magic. He was making spaghetti, it wasn't much, but there was garlic bread in the oven and Moody had told him Cassius liked chocolate so there was a chocolate cake for dessert.

"Going to see the Cannons play was our first date and that was four months ago today."

"I didn't realize that was a date at the time." Remus said teasingly.

"Well, it was." Remus could hear Cassius get up from the table and he sensed Cassius getting closer to him. Slowly arms wound around Remus's waist and Cassius rested his head on Remus' shoulder. Remus shivered as he felt warm breath on his neck. "So it's our anniversary." Cassius slowly licked up Remus's neck. "In honor of the occasion, I was thinking we should kiss."

"Kiss." Remus echoed, his brain stopped functioning as Cassius reached his ear and his tongue swirled around the shell, before biting at his earlobe.

"We haven't kissed." Cassius pulled away. Remus felt dizzy already. He felt Cassius turn him around and soon he was gazing up into emerald green eyes. "Would you want to?" Cassius tilted his head quizzically.

"I…uh…umm.." Remus couldn't think…he could feel the heat from Cassius' hands on his waist and could feel more heat radiating from Cassius himself.

"Is that a yes?" Cassius was smiling.

Remus nodded. Cassius bent his head down and claimed Remus's mouth in a crushing kiss. Remus felt a muffled groan escape him as he reached out and clung to Cassius's shoulders. Cassius's tongue probed at his mouth and he opened it, allowing entrance. He leaned up against Cassius's body as Cassius's tongue explored his mouth, tangling with his tongue. Just as he was losing himself in the kiss, Cassius pulled away.

"That's out of the way, then. When do we eat?" He stepped away and sat back down. Remus had to lean against the counter to keep from falling over. He glared over at Cassius.

"Out of the way? That's romantic." He huffed.

"I didn't know you wanted romantic." Cassius's fair brows drew together. "I've been told I don't do romantic very well."

"By one of the six other men you've dated?" Remus blurted the question out before he really thought about it. He didn't really want to know…but at the same time he did. Cassius was 20 and had dated six other males. Remus wondered how much he had done. At 23, Remus was still a virgin due to the fact that werewolves mate for life and he had never been ready for that step.

"By every one of them, in fact, so…I think you are out of luck if you want romantic from me. Although they did all tell me I was fantastic in bed, so apparently I'm not a total failure as a boyfriend." Cassius' mouth was quirked, in spite of the fact that his tone had been very matter of fact. Remus felt his mouth go dry at Cassius' comment. He couldn't think of what to say in response, he just stood there, staring.

"If you really want romantic, I could try. Remus, honestly I'd try." Cassius sounded concerned. Remus wondered how long he'd been silent. He roused himself to say something.

"No, it's fine. I mean, I don't think I'm very good at romantic either. So, we'll be a good pair." Remus smiled. Cassius smiled back, looking relieved. 

"I've been wanting to kiss you for ages... But I thought I should stop before….something happened." Cassius looked down at his hands and then started chewing the nails on his left hand, he did it frequently. Remus had noticed that he would always stop abruptly, as if he'd been caught.

"So nothing happened for you?" Remus tilted his head at Cassius, granted he didn't have six former boyfriends, but Sirius had never said he wasn't a good kisser.

"Oh, well, yeah, something happened. Same thing happened to you." Cassius stopped chewing his nails suddenly and put his hands in his pockets.

"And how do you know?" Amber eyes locked with green eyes.

"You pressed it against me. Must have not noticed my efforts. I'm hurt." Cassius didn't sound hurt.

"Come over here again and I'll make sure I notice." Remus said, suddenly realizing he sounded very flirtatious – what had gotten into him? He'd always been the shy, quiet one.

"Really?" Cassius stood and walked slowly towards Remus – he felt like he was being stalked by a wild animal and stood very still. Cassius reached him and put his hands on his waist again. "Are you ready?" A hint of a smile played around the corners of Cassius' mouth.

Remus nodded as earnestly as he could. Cassius bent his head down slowly before kissing Remus again. Remus wound his arms around Cassius's neck, pulling himself close to Cassius's body. Cassius put his arms under Remus's and easily lifted him up so that their bodies were aligned. Remus moaned as he felt Cassius's hardness rub against his own. Cassius's tongue was sliding in his mouth, his hands were sliding around his back. Remus felt himself begin to get lightheaded. He broke the kiss, panting. Cassius was breathing hard too.

"How was that, then?" Cassius said with some effort, still holding Remus tightly against him.

"Something definitely happened." Remus smiled.

"You noticed."

"I noticed."

"Your pasta is boiling over." Cassius set Remus down. Remus swore and turned the heat down on the stove.


	2. Summer Loving

Chapter 2 

Summer Loving

A few months later, around the Summer Solstice, Cassius got Remus into his bed, under the pretense of needing him there in order to sleep better. It was the first time that they had gotten together during the week and Cassius had to go to auror training the next day so they were going to bed early.

"You'll really sleep better if I'm in here?" Remus asked suspiciously as he wiggled down under the covers. He was wearing pajamas but he still felt self-conscious.

"Well, remember a couple weeks ago when you spent the night." Cassius closed the door and started to walk towards the bed. He was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt that clung to his chest, showing off his muscles.

"In the guest bedroom." Remus reminded him quickly. They'd had a little too much fire whiskey and Cassius had persuaded him to spend the night.

"Yes, I know, but I slept better than I have in years. So I thought if you were actually _in_ my bed." Cassius looked innocently at Remus. "I'd be able to sleep even better."

"We're not doing anything except sleeping." Remus said sternly.

"Right." Cassius nodded as he placed his wand on the nightstand. He'd insisted that Remus sleep on the far side of the bed.  

"Because I'm a werewolf."

"Are you really?  I know my memory can be bad and all, but honestly, Remus, do you think you have to remind me _daily_ of that fact?" Cassius looked offended.

"Well, I just - it's important because werewolves mate for life and so sex isn't something to be taken lightly and so we're not doing it." Remus knew he sounded ridiculous, he'd said the same thing so often, he knew Cassius had it memorized, in spite of his bad memory.

"Again, all things I have heard before. And all we're doing is sleeping." Cassius arched his eyebrow at Remus. "Unless you find me irresistible and are worrying about being able to keep your hands off me." His hand stroked slowly down his own chest.

Remus' face turned pink, he had, actually, thought about that when Cassius had first brought up the idea of them sharing a bed.  

"Really, Remus Lupin! I'm shocked." Cassius was grinning.

"I.I'm going to sleep." Remus turned over and faced the wall. He heard Cassius laugh as he got into bed.

"So does this mean no spooning?" 

"No! No spooning!" Remus yelled.

"But I'm cold." Cassius whined.

"Well, if you're cold." Remus started to waver, then he realized Cassius was teasing him, Cassius was never cold. "Get another blanket." Cassius laughed.

Remus couldn't remember falling asleep but he woke up to the feel of strong arms surrounding him and a long muscular leg laying over his hip and down his leg.  He could feel Cassius breathing on his neck, and if he concentrated, he could feel Cassius' heart beating. He felt warm and safe.and loved.  He slowly moved his hand and stroked Cassius' forearm as it lay across his chest. After a few moments, he felt Cassius move, his neck was being kissed. He tilted his head to allow Cassius more access.

"I said no spooning." Remus said softly.

"You moved, I didn't" Cassius replied in between kisses. Remus looked and noticed that he was not in the place he had started on the bed, he was definitely on Cassius' side of the bed. "At first, I thought some sort of ice monster was attacking me -  but it was only you.  Honestly.I think I have frostbite on my legs because your feet were so cold."

"Oh." Remus often felt cold, especially in the weeks around the full moon, which happened to be three days away. 

"I'm not complaining.much." Cassius murmured against his throat. "Could I kiss you some more if I swear not to have sex with you?" His tongue traced a path across Remus' jaw.

"Uh huh." Remus grunted as Cassius' hand slid down his stomach.

"Is that a yes?" 

"Yes." Remus sighed. Suddenly Cassius moved and Remus found himself flat on his back with Cassius on top of him. Cassius' mouth crashed down on his in a wet, demanding kiss. His hands unbuttoned Remus' shirt and he pulled away enough to lift up Remus to remove the shirt completely, not breaking the kiss. Remus felt a moment's alarm, he had scars all over from his transformations and from the original bite. He didn't stay alarmed for long, it was hard to because Cassius was a very good kisser - Remus wondered who those other six males had been, maybe he'd have to thank them for letting Cassius get so much practice. Cassius tilted his head the other way and deepened the kiss. Remus felt a wave of arousal sweep over him and he glided his hands up Cassius' arms, rocking his hips against Cassius'. Cassius moaned in response. He moved his hands down Cassius' back and then under his shirt, he needed to feel Cassius' skin. He slid his hands up Cassius' back towards his shoulder blades, and suddenly, through the fog of desire, he noticed thin bumps under his fingers.  He jerked his head away from Cassius'.

"What happened to your back?" He asked with alarm, looking at Cassius, as his fingers skimmed over the raised horizontal and diagonal lines that crossed Cassius' back. He watched as Cassius' eyes went dead. He flung himself off Remus, landing on his back next to him. 

"Nothing." His voice was cold.

"It's not nothing. Tell me, please." Remus pleaded.

"It's..they're nothing." Cassius moved swiftly to the far side of the bed, and put his back against the wall. Remus suddenly felt very cold without Cassius right next to him. 

"You felt my scars. Why don't I get to feel yours?" Cassius didn't answer, but Remus could see the gleam of his eyes in the dark. "Cassius?"

"Because your scars aren't your fault." The answer came in a hoarse whisper.

"What?" 

Cassius didn't answer.

"You're one of only three people I've let see my scars, other than my parents, and Madam Pomfrey at school." Remus said slowly, moving closer to Cassius.  He reached out until he found Cassius' hand. "This one is from where the werewolf bit me." He moved Cassius' fingers down his ribcage to the bite mark the werewolf had left. It had bit him on the side, lunging at him from out of the woods. He'd never seen it coming. "This one is from my first transformation." He moved Cassius' fingers towards a long scar on his arm. "This one is from another transformation, I don't remember what number, but it was an early one." Cassius' fingers were moved to a diagonal scar that went from one side of his chest to the other. "This one." 

"My father beat me."  Cassius hissed.

"He beat you?" For a moment, Remus couldn't comprehend what Cassius had said.

"That's what I said, Remus." There was anger in the voice now, which, in Remus' opinion, was better than no emotion at all.

"Why?"

"Why did I say it?  Or why did he do it?" The questions were snarled at him.

"Why did he do it?" Remus moved slowly towards Cassius.

"Because I did something wrong - sometimes I knew what I'd done, other times -  I had no idea." Cassius' voice was losing the edge of anger now. "He'd use a whip - sometimes a belt - sometimes he'd just hit me."

"Why don't I get to touch you? Did the other men you dated get to touch you?" Remus was close enough to Cassius now to feel the heat coming off of him.

"They didn't, I mean they did, but they didn't feel the scars..there's a concealment charm so you can't see or feel them..Lucius taught it to me when I went away to Hogwarts - Dobby, our house-elf, had taught it to him when he'd gone to Hogwarts..but I..you said.you said you wouldn't do anything tonight so I thought I didn't need to do it and then.you were in my arms and I couldn't think about anything but you once you said I could kiss you."  Cassius voice sounded thick, like he was crying. Remus reached out his hand and found Cassius' face. There was wetness on his cheeks. "I didn't want you to know." Cassius whispered.

"Oh, sweetheart." Remus murmured. "I love you. This doesn't change how I feel, it changes nothing. I think you're beautiful and smart and wonderful and." He moved closer to Cassius, until their chests were pressed together. He moved his hand slowly to Cassius' side. "I love you." He kissed him gently. Cassius didn't respond. "I love you." He kissed Cassius' cheek. "I love you." He kissed his eyes, his forehead, his chin. "I love you."

"You love me." Cassius sounded incredulous.

"That's what I've been saying for the past minute or so. Glad you finally joined me." Remus decided the moment called for some of the sly humor he was always getting from Cassius.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Even - with the scars?"

"I have scars too, remember?"

"But you're beautiful." Cassius shook his head slightly.

"You're beautiful too." Remus said firmly. "Now, I want you to take off your shirt. Your horrible father isn't going to ruin our night."

"Remus!" Cassius actually squeaked as Remus reached for the hem of his shirt.

"Come on, you're getting your wish, I can't keep my hands off of you. Take your shirt off!" Remus tickled Cassius' ribs causing him to laugh. "Have you already forgotten that I love you? Because I could tell you again if that would get you to take your shirt off."

"You've never said you loved me before. I need at least 3 days of repetition to remember something."  Remus could see Cassius smiling in the dark.

"Well, starting tomorrow I will tell you every day."

"Really? Will you really, Remus?" Cassius sounded unsure.

"Only if you take your shirt off now."

"Your wish is my command, Mr. Lupin." Cassius sounded normal again. Remus moved away a little and Cassius pushed himself up to sit and pulled his shirt off over his head.

"Now." Remus laid on his back on the bed. "Where were we?" He opened his arms to Cassius.

"I think we were right about here." Cassius laid down on top of Remus and started kissing him. Remus wound his arms around Cassius' waist, not wanting to spook him so soon after the conversation about the scars. Slowly, when Cassius starting rocking his hips into him, Remus moved his hands up Cassius' back, stroking over the old scars. He felt Cassius start to pull away and rocked his hips up sharply, Cassius groaned and Remus felt his weight come back down. Remus hadn't been this close to someone since Sirius..and he could feel the build-up of almost three years of loneliness and frustration start to let go as his body got hotter and hotter.


	3. Chapter 3

****

Chapter 3 

Remus woke to an empty bed – there was a note on the bedside table from Cassius.

_Remus,_

_Sorry I had to go so early, Moody is having a special extra session before normal classes begin. Please have breakfast with Tabby, she'll enjoy the company._

(There was a dark ink spot where Cassius had let the quill sit while he had thought what to write next) _I know I haven't told you a lot about my family, if you want to know _(another dark ink spot)_ ask me and I'll tell you. I never really felt love for them or from them, except Lucius. And I never felt it for any of the men I dated, but I think I feel it for you. _

_I hope you're there tonight when I get home._

_Cassius_

Remus did stay at Windy Corner all day. He found Cassius's library and spent the day happily reading books.

* * *

When Cassius got home, he convinced Remus to take a bubble bath with him. The bathtub was huge, easily accommodating the two of them. Afterwards, they'd moved into Cassius' bed. As he lay on the bed a couple hours later, staring at the ceiling, Remus felt himself blush as he remembered where Cassius' fingers had been.

* * *

Over a month later…

"I better get going. The moon is going to rise in a few hours." Remus stood up from the chair in Windy Corner's sitting room that he had begun to think of as his.

"Couldn't you stay here?" Cassius asked quickly.

"No…it's not safe for you." Remus shook his head sadly, he hated the lonely full moons without the Marauders, but it wasn't safe for anyone to be around him.

"Could I come by tomorrow and check on you?" Cassius stood up too, to walk Remus to the kitchen.

"Umm…"

"Please? I could help!"

"All right…but make sure you don't come until the moon has set."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then." Cassius smiled and pulled Remus in for a quick kiss.

* * *

The transformation was horrible, as usual. Remus woke in pain on the floor of his parents' basement. He heard footsteps cross the floor above him.

"Remus?" Cassius' voice echoed above him.

Remus couldn't find the strength to answer, he searched for the blanket that was near him and dragged it over his naked body. He knew it was silly, Cassius had already seen him naked a few times but Remus suddenly felt very self-conscious. He had cuts and bruises all over his body. He heard Cassius unlock the door leading down to the basement and a moment later he saw Cassius descend the stairs.

"Hi." Cassius said shyly. Remus nodded. "Let's get you to bed." Cassius crouched down and gathered Remus into his arms. He carried Remus up two flights of stairs to Remus' room. He laid Remus on his bed and helped Remus under the covers.

"I'm not that great with healing charms, I'm working on it though… but I got some healing salve from Moody. So…" Cassius slowly moved the blanket down. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the bottle. He slowly smoothed the salve over Remus's chest and stomach. The cuts and bruises started to fade away. "Here." Cassius reached for Remus and gently pulled him up. Remus rested his cheek on Cassius's shoulder. Cassius's long fingers smoothed the salve over the bruises on his back. Cassius pressed a kiss on the back on his neck. Remus sighed. Cassius eased him back on the bed and covered him back up with blanket. He moved the blanket away from Remus's legs. Remus marveled at how thoughtful Cassius was, that he knew Remus would be self conscious and so kept most of him covered while he was putting the salve on Remus's body. After all the cuts and bruises were taken care of, Cassius looked down at Remus.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Better…Except…"

"What?"

"I'm cold." Remus was shivering.

"Ah…" Cassius laid down beside Remus and gently surrounded him with his arms and pulled him close. "See how helpful I am?"

"You're very helpful." Remus smiled as he snuggled even closer to Cassius.

"So I can come by every month, right?" There was a pause as Remus thought about it. After the moon set, there was no reason really for Cassius not to be there… "Right?"

"Yes."

"Good." Cassius tightened his hold on Remus. Remus felt his body relax as the warmth from Cassius seeped into his bones. "Happy Birthday."

"What?"

"It's August 2nd, that's your birthday right? Moody told me it was."

"It is…I…I haven't really celebrated it much the past few years."

"Well, we're going to celebrate it tonight. How old are you?"

"Twenty four." Remus shifted carefully. He had a twin bed and between the two of them it was a tight fit. "When's your birthday?"

"Day after the Winter Solstice"

"So, you're 20 now?"

"Have been for a while."

"Why didn't you tell me? We'd already met, we could have done something for it."

"We'll do something for it this year. Now, you need to sleep. Are you warm enough?" Remus nodded. "Good. Go to sleep." Cassius's fingers brushed through the hair at Remus's temple, lulling him to sleep.

* * *

A couple months later, Remus and Cassius were sitting in Cassius' library. He had many books that were in the Hogwarts Restricted Section and Remus was finally getting to find out all the information he'd ever wanted to know.

"Remus." Cassius had put the book he was reading down in his lap.

"Hmm?" Remus looked up from the book he was reading.

"Have you ever wanted to have sex?" Cassius asked the question casually.

"What?" Remus was taken aback.

"Have you ever wanted to have sex?" The question was repeated in the same cool manner.

"Wh-why are you asking?" Remus was stalling for time, he didn't know how to answer. He and Sirius had fooled around - they'd been 'friends with benefits' for about three years but Remus had never felt the burning need to have sex. The last few months, he and Cassius had made out more and more often, with more and more passion and intimacy– but he hadn't yet felt like he _had_ to have sex. He'd read in books that a werewolf would know when it was time to mate so he figured it just wasn't going to happen for him. If he didn't feel it for Cassius, he couldn't imagine feeling it for anyone else.

"Well, I was just curious, I mean, I..."

"If you want to have sex – you could always…have sex with other people. I wouldn't mind - we could still see each other." Remus blurted out, he didn't want to lose Cassius because he wasn't ready to have sex. Sirius had had sex with other people and it hadn't harmed their relationship much. He tried very hard not to think about someone else's hands on his Cassius's body. As he suddenly realized he thought of Cassius as _his_ and that he didn't want to share, he heard Cassius's voice.

"Have sex with other people?" Cassius looked stunned.

"Well – you've had sex with other people…haven't you?" Remus asked in a small voice.

"Yes, but not since we've been dating. I wouldn't be able to have sex with someone else now." Cassius sounded disgusted with the idea. "I don't want to have sex with someone just to have sex, I want to have sex with you. I'll wait until you're ready, no matter how long it takes."

"That's….almost romantic" Remus smiled lovingly at Cassius.

"Is it really? Would it be actually romantic if I added the fact that I love you?"

"I think so."

"I was just asking." Cassius smirked, going back to reading his book. Remus stood up and walked over to Cassius.

"Say it."

"What?" Cassius blinked up at him.

"Say you love me." Remus knelt down and started tickling him. True to his word, Remus had told Cassius he loved him every day for the past three months, Cassius had never said it back although Remus knew that Cassius cared deeply for him, so it hadn't bothered him.

"Stop! Stop!" Cassius was very ticklish. He tried to get away from Remus but only succeeded in being pinned to the floor by Remus, who was much stronger than he looked.

"Say it!" Remus growled, he stopped tickling Cassius.

"I'm only saying it because I don't want you to start tickling me again, but… I love you."

"You love me? You mean it?" Remus was momentarily breathless at hearing the words from Cassius.

"Of course I mean it. I love you." Cassius grinned. Remus leaned down and kissed him.

* * *

The next week, Remus was sitting in the sitting room waiting for Cassius to return from his brother's birthday party. Cassius had insisted that Remus stay at Windy Corner until he returned. He looked up as he heard Cassius Apparate in the kitchen and walked from the sitting room to greet him. Remus froze on the kitchen threshold – waves of energy were radiating off of Cassius. Cassius was staring at the floor, breathing hard. He looked up and Remus was jolted back a step by his eyes. They were black, wild. The fire was much larger than normal and there was a wind whipping around the kitchen.

"Cassius…" Remus couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Get…upstairs." Cassius ground out the words with effort. Remus rushed towards the stairs. Moody had teased Cassius about his temper but Remus hadn't really believed the stories. Behind him he heard glass and pottery shattering and the house shook. Tabby met him at the top of the stairs.

"Cassius arrived home, then?" She said calmly, obviously she'd seen Cassius like this before. Remus nodded.

"I don't know why he still goes there – he often comes home like this. He doesn't let his father see that he gets mad so he waits until he gets home…" Tabby put her hand on Remus' arm. "This is the first time you've seen him like this, isn't it." He nodded. "It's something to behold, wandless magic…"

Remus heard steps behind him, coming up the stairs. He turned around. Cassius was standing there, he seemed calmer but now there were bloody cuts on his face, arms and chest.

"I repaired most of the damage." He looked at Tabby.

"Remus will take care of you." Tabby replied gently, and she walked down the stairs to check on 'her' kitchen.

Remus steered Cassius into the bathroom. Cassius sat on the counter, facing away from the mirror. He never appeared to look at any mirror, Remus had once walked in on him shaving with his eyes closed. He had nicked himself a few times before Remus took over. He figured it was some auror training thing of Moody's and hadn't questioned, now every morning that he was there, he shaved Cassius' face.

"What happened?" Remus asked as he repaired the small cuts on Cassius' face. He had to use his wand to extract the glass shards. Cassius didn't even wince.

"Do you really want to know?" Cassius didn't look at him.

"Yes."

"Father said I was a shameful blot on the Malfoy name and he never thought any son of his would be an auror. Then, of course, he had to point out how wonderful Lucius is, a Death Eater, who escaped punishment, who married a woman, who had an heir. I didn't care about that, it's all things I've heard before but then he tried to use the Imperious curse on me - to beat me, like he used to – I was able to throw it off before he could do anything. Draco started to cry and Father said he would have to start disciplining Draco, like he used to Lucius and me, because four year olds shouldn't cry. Lucius just sat there, he didn't say anything. If I had a son, I wouldn't let Father know he existed. And all that was before dinner even started. I lost it when I realized he'd put Veritaserum in my drink. He thinks I have someone – he wants to know who. But he didn't find out anything significant before I Apparated." Cassius related everything in what Remus privately thought of as his Malfoy voice, it was cold and hard and emotionless.

"I…that's…" Remus couldn't think of anything to say.

"It's horrible. He's horrible." Remus reached for Cassius' hand. Cassius' voice melted. "You still…love me?"

"Of course I do!"

"It's just that…I try not to lose my temper…"

"I'd have lost my temper too." Remus smiled. "I love you."


	4. The Fight

Chapter 4

~~

The Fight

"Remus, I have a question for you." Cassius propped his head up on his hand as he laid on his side next to Remus. The sun was starting to come in the window, it looked like it would be a beautiful Fall day.

"Hmmm?" Remus couldn't find the strength to answer, he was worn out, although they still hadn't had actual intercourse, they had found many other ways to be intimate. Cassius was very inventive and right now Remus felt like jelly. He didn't know how Cassius had the energy to talk – he guessed it must be because he was four years younger. 

"Do you love me?" Cassius trailed his long fingers down Remus' chest, making swirling patterns as he went.

"Yes. You know I do." Remus turned his head to look over at his love.

"And you know I love you, right?" Cassius looked very earnest. Remus nodded, with great effort.

"We've been dating two years…"

"One year, eight months, that I am aware of." Remus said lazily.

"Yes, all right, anyway …" Cassius cleared his throat nervously. "Remus, will you marry me?"

"What?"  Remus was startled. Ever since the werewolf had bite him, he'd resigned himself to the fact that no one would ever want to marry him.

"Will you marry me? Mate with me? Whatever you want to call it." Cassius spoke very slowly and clearly.

"I…no…Cassius, you don't want to marry me." Remus shook his head.  Cassius shouldn't – couldn't marry a werewolf,  he was a promising auror, he'd just completed the three years of training, he'd been first in his class. And what would his family think or do – Remus knew Cassius didn't care but he hated to think that Cassius would be hurt because of him. He wasn't worth the trouble.

"I just asked you, and you tell me I don't want to." Cassius sat up, sounding angry.

"I'm a werewolf – and your career – your family – and I'm a werewolf."

"I know that, Remus." Cassius' eyes darkened to black. "You tell me almost every bloody day! I told you I don't care. I love you. I love you and I want to spend my life with you."

"No…I can't marry you." Remus whispered. "You don't want me for the rest of your life - you're only 21."

"I'm 22 soon…And anyway, don't _tell me_ what _I_ _want_, Remus. I know what I want.  I want you. You're only 25, it's not like you know everything." Cassius was getting angrier, Remus could feel the energy starting to radiate from him. The fire in the fireplace was starting to grow bigger.

"I can't. The Ministry, your family…" Remus sat up too, feeling tears fill his eyes.

"I don't care about the Ministry knowing, they wouldn't do anything to me – but I never said the whole damn world would know, Remus. It's too dangerous for you if Father knew, so it'd have to be a secret – I just want you to marry me." Cassius grabbed Remus by the shoulders and stared him straight in the eyes. Remus could feel the waves of energy jolting through him now. "I want to be your mate.  I want to be inside you. I want to mate with you. I want you here with me every day, every night. I want us to be married, to be together, forever." Cassius spoke every word clearly and distinctly as if he was trying to communicate with an obstinate child.

"No." Remus couldn't say yes, he just couldn't.

Cassius swiftly got out of bed and starting yanking his clothes on. 

"Where are you going?" Remus felt his stomach start to flip flop.

"I'm going for a walk." Cassius' voice was emotionless. He stalked out the door and Remus could hear him walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

"Cassius, where are you going?" He could hear Tabby call after Cassius. The only answer was the back door slamming. 

Remus slowly got up and got dressed.  He figured Cassius wouldn't want him here when he returned. He knew that the less emotion his voice had, the more angry or upset Cassius was. He had only begun showing all of his emotions to Remus after the conversation about the scars on his back. But he still retreated back into his Malfoy mask when he was really hurt. 

Remus walked down the stairs slowly and into the kitchen. He asked Tabby for paper and a quill and left a note for Cassius explaining that he loved him and just wanted him to be safe and he didn't think being married to a werewolf would be good for Cassius. Tabby gave him some breakfast to take home before he floo-ed back to his house.

The next week was a blur as it approached the full moon. He had a horrible transformation, ripping and tearing himself during the night more than he had in years. He woke when he felt strong arms pick him up off the floor of his parents' basement. He moaned in pain before he could stop himself. He felt lips press down on his forehead as he was carried upstairs to his bedroom. Cassius had been coming by after the full moon for over a year and a half now.  Every month he tried to get Remus to stay at Windy Corner but Remus didn't want to put Cassius or Tabby in harm's way so he always refused.  Remus was surprised that he had come, considering their fight.

Cassius started a fire in the fireplace. Remus started to protest, there wasn't enough wood for a fire during the day.

  
"Hush, I brought wood. Remus, when you freeze in the summer, it's asinine not to have a fire in early December. Why didn't you tell me you needed wood?" said Cassius tensely. 

Remus didn't answer, he had his pride, he didn't need handouts. The warmth from the fire slowly started seeping into his bones. Cassius cast some healing spells on the worst of Remus' cuts and then reached in the pocket of his long black coat for a jar of healing salve. He sat next to Remus on the bed. 

"Come here." The order was given in a cool voice. Remus struggled to sit up with Cassius' help. Cassius pulled him forward until Remus was leaning on Cassius' shoulder. Cassius started rubbing the healing salve on the scrapes and bruises on Remus' back. Remus could almost pretend that nothing had happened between them, except for the fact that Cassius wasn't kissing or nuzzling him like he usually did while he fixed up Remus' injuries. Cassius eased him back down on the bed. He smoothed more healing salve on the cuts on Remus' chest. He was very thorough, as usual, but Remus felt the lack of emotion behind Cassius' actions.  "There. All done." He started to stand up, Remus grabbed his arm.

"Cass."

"Yes?" Cassius waited.

"I…" Remus felt tears prick his eyes. He shook his head, withdrawing his hand and closing his eyes. After a moment, he felt Cassius rise from the bed.  He felt another blanket being spread over him, it wasn't his, Cassius must have brought it from Windy Corner. Remus immediately felt warmer.  Remus could feel the bed dip and warm breath on his cheek as Cassius sat back down and leaned over him. 

"Remus, I know you're not sleeping." The voice was sleek and cool.

Remus' eyes snapped open meeting intense green eyes. "Moody will come by this afternoon to check on you – I have to go to Germany for a few days."

"I – I love you." Remus whispered.

"Will you marry me?" Cassius responded promptly. Remus shook his head. He just couldn't. "You're an idiot." The voice was edged with fury.

"I'm not an idiot!" Remus felt anger surge in him. "You just haven't thought about what being married to me would really mean!"

"I _have _thought about it!  I'm not a child!" Cassius yelled at him.

"Really! You've thought about the fact that there are laws that _forbid marriage_ between werewolves and wizards?" Remus growled at Cassius.

  
"The law forbids marriage between a werewolf and a _witch_.  I checked." Cassius arched his eyebrow at Remus.  "Anything else?"

"I transform into a wolf every month." Remus glared.

"Tell me something I _don't_ know! I told you I don't care." Cassius sounded infuriated.

"Well, you would care if I ever killed you." Remus said sarcastically.

"If you killed me, I wouldn't care – I'd be dead." Cassius gave a cold smile.

"I…" Remus couldn't think of anything to say to that. "I can't marry you."

"You can. You just won't."  Cassius stood up and walked out of the room.  It was the first time in a long time that he hadn't said 'I love you' to Remus before leaving. Remus felt cold in spite of the fire…he didn't know if he was doing the right thing…

Moody came by in the afternoon to check on him. 

"Heard you and Cass had a fight." Moody said gruffly as he put brought Remus some soup and fed it to him.

Remus could only nod.

"He still loves you."

"Do you think we could ever go back to the way things were?" Remus whispered. 

"He's got the Malfoy pride – you know that, Remus. He won't back down. He proposed, you either accept or it's over."

After Moody left, Remus thought miserably that he should have accepted the proposal. Except that he didn't think Cassius really had thought through proposing to a werewolf. A few days later, Moody owled that Cassius had been assigned to another investigation in Northern France, he didn't know how long he would be gone. Remus wondered what would happen when Cassius returned.

Author's Note: Sorry for the cliffhanger! (although if you've read "Old and New Relations" you know what happens in the end!)


	5. Making Up

Author's Notes: In honor of Valentine's Day!  I will try to do some future chapters from Cassius' POV. I hope I answered the question about what Cassius sees in Remus in this chapter. And bonus points for anyone who catches a reference to the BBC show "Are You Being Served?" :-) 

Chapter 5

Making Up

After two weeks, Lupin went to talk to Moody, he needed some advice and he had nowhere else to go. It was the winter solstice, the day before Cassius' birthday. Remus desperately wanted to be reconciled with Cassius for his birthday, he missed him terribly, but he didn't know what he should do. He still didn't think it would be good for Cassius to be his mate.

Moody had ushered him in the door and into the kitchen.  He set a cup of tea and a sandwich in front of Remus. Remus ate hungrily, he hadn't had a proper meal in over a week.

"Is Cassius still mad at me?" Remus asked between bites.

"He can't stay mad at you, Remus, he loves you."

"Why?"

"Haven't you ever asked him that?"

"No…" Remus suddenly realized he'd never asked and Cassius had never said. 

"Well…I don't know . Cass and I haven't ever talked about that.  But what I do know is that he wants you to marry him. And he thinks you're being an idiot about the whole werewolf thing. He's thought everything through - yes, Remus, _everything_ – he's a Malfoy. Tell him 'I'm sorry for being an idiot and I'll marry you.' That's what he wants to hear."

"Really?" Remus couldn't tell if Moody was joking with him or not.

"Aye, told me so the other day. You might not want to admit it, but you're as good as mated already, my boy. If you think you'll be able to live without him, you're as mad as they say I am." A smile twisted his scarred face.  Remus looked at Moody – suddenly realizing that Moody was right. He hadn't realized just how much Cassius had become a part of his life. He missed talking to him about what happened during his day, about what happened when Cassius was at work. He missed sharing his life with Cassius.

"I have to go." Remus stood abruptly. He needed to fix this right away.

"Floo Powder is in the purple pot up on the mantle." Moody said still smiling.

Cassius was sitting at the kitchen table eating when Remus arrived by floo. Tabby yowled in surprise as Remus stepped out of the fireplace, she'd been sleeping curled up on the rug.   

Remus had barely gotten "I'm sorry" out of his mouth when Cassius had thrown his arms around him and started kissing him. "I love you." Cassius had murmured between kisses.  Remus realized with a jolt just how much he had missed him, they'd been apart a month due to the fight. It was the longest they had been apart. He could feel his blood start to pound in his ears. All the times he had fooled around before, he had never felt like this. The urge to…he couldn't even put it into words…he just knew what he had to do. This was what he had read about - he knew he'd found his mate.

"Bed." He growled as he took Cassius' larger hand in his and started up the stairs.  Cassius followed right behind him, kissing his neck, reaching under his shirt to make contact with his skin. "I missed you." Cassius whispered, his breath hot against Remus' ear.  He couldn't respond.  He could barely think. His blood was pounding louder in his ears, beginning a chant: '_Mine, mine_.' He pushed Cassius onto the bed, pulling off his own clothes.  Cassius finished pulling off his clothes moments before Remus laid down on top of him on the bed. 

"You're sorry for being an idiot and you'll marry me, right?" Cassius murmured with a seductive smile. Remus could only nod before kissing Cassius deeply, sweeping his tongue inside. '_Mine, mine, mine_.' He could hear the wolf's voice in his head, urging him to claim his mate. He turned Cassius on his stomach with strength he didn't know he had. He heard muttering but couldn't understand it, his blood was rushing so loudly through his veins. He slid into Cassius. '_Mine, mine_.' He could hear the chant in his head, nothing else mattered except being with his mate. He turned his head and searched along Cassius' neck and shoulder for the place, the place, he found it and bit down hard.  He heard Cassius cry out in pain, it seemed come from far away. '_Mine, mine, mine_.' Cassius' blood filled his mouth, it tasted sweet and he swallowed it eagerly. He shuddered and collapsed, bearing Cassius down to the bed. After a moment, he rolled off Cassius, and stared in horror at the bite mark on Cassius' left shoulder. He had tried for so many years to contain the wolf in him and now… Blood flowed freely from bite.  Cassius turned his head and looked at Remus, who almost cringed, anticipating hatred or pain in the eyes he had grown to love.  Instead, they were glowing and Cassius smiled, he looked predatory. "My turn."  

"What?" Remus responded breathlessly.  

"I want us to be double mated."

"What are you talking about?" Remus was confused.

"When a male werewolf mates with another male, they can be double mated…because…um…you know…I can do the same thing you just did. And I want to." Cassius' face was red.  Remus was always amazed at how Cassius easily could blush around the people he loved, according to Moody his face remained impassive when he was working. 

"I didn't know that." 

"How could _you_ not know _that_?" Cassius looked at him incredulously. 

"After…I didn't plan on mating, I figured I didn't need to know about it." Remus felt his own face flush with embarrassment now. 

"Well, good thing I did my research." 

"Moody would be proud." 

"Mention him again and the mood will be broken." Cassius glared. He reached over and pulled Remus' slender body into his arms. "I love you." He kissed Remus deeply.

Twenty minutes later, Remus had a matching bite mark on his left shoulder. 

"Ugh – blood. Blech!" Cassius made a face. Remus giggled. "You liked it, didn't you." Cassius looked at him. Remus felt his face get hot. "You did! The werewolf comes out. I didn't know you were so kinky." Cassius arched a fair eyebrow at Remus.

"Neither did I."  Remus whispered as he felt his face get hotter. 

"I read that the bite becomes an erogenous zone. Do you think I could make you come just by touching it?" Cassius leaned close to Remus, Remus gazed into the emerald eyes he loved and shivered.

"Yes." He pulled Cassius in for a deep kiss. After a long time, Cassius separated from him breathlessly.

"So, today you will sell your parents' house and move in here with me." Cassius said sounding very authoritative.

"You're not going to try the bite – thing?" Remus felt slightly disappointed.

"I have to save something for my birthday celebration tonight." Cassius wiggled his eyebrows. 

"Your birthday…" Remus looked over at the clock, it was about 5 minutes after midnight. He jumped out of bed, remembering his present. 

"Where are you going?" Cassius asked, bewildered.

"Where are my pants?" Remus searched frantically around the room. Finally he found them in the far corner, he didn't remember throwing them that far. He reached in the right pocket for Cassius' birthday present. He had gone home after talking to Moody and had gotten the present out of his mother's jewelry box. Pulling the small box out, he returned to the bed and knelt down on it.

"Here. Happy Birthday." Remus had had a whole speech worked out but he couldn't remember it – and it didn't matter now – they were mated. Cassius sat up and took the small box from him. He looked at Remus curiously and then opened it. His mouth fell open and he stared at the contents of the box for so long that Remus was certain that he didn't like it.

"It's a Lupin family ring – it was my father's.  My mother gave it to me after he died, she told me I should give it to the man I wanted to marry. And I thought – if you still wanted to marry me – that you should have it – because you're the man I want to marry – I mean we kind of already are married, more than married, because werewolves mate for life, and we're double-mated, even, but the ring would be a symbol of our commitment and the fact that we're mated so we're basically married and I thought we – mmph." He was finally, thankfully, cut off from his inane babbling by Cassius' mouth covering his own.

"I love it. Of course I still want to marry you. I bit you, didn't I?" Cassius' green eyes were twinkling and he was grinning from ear to ear. Remus blushed and looked down at his hands. His own family ring was on the index finger of his left hand, where it had been since he was 17, when he had come of age.

"Why do you want to marry me?" Remus suddenly needed to know the answer, even though, he reflected, it was already a moot point now they were mated.

"Because I love you." 

"Why?"

"Because I have a soft spot for prematurely graying werewolves." Cassius gave him a sly grin as his hand brushed through Remus' hair, which had several strands of grey intertwined with brown.

"No, really, why do you love me?" 

"I…because…well, at first I liked you because you didn't judge me for being a Malfoy…and then I liked you more because we could talk about anything, you became my best friend…and you're smart…and handsome…your eyes are this beautiful gold color…and I love being with you…the world just seems…better somehow when we're together."

"Oh…" Remus thought that was the nicest, most romantic thing anyone had ever said to him.

"_And_ you're great in bed." Cassius smiled.

"You just ruined a beautiful romantic moment." Remus pushed at Cassius' shoulder, laughing.

"Really? Was that romantic?" Cassius looked ridiculously pleased.

"Yes." Remus smiled lovingly at his mate.

"Give me your ring." Cassius held out his hand.

"Why?" 

"So I can give it back to you when we get married."

"When are we getting married?" Remus asked, pulling off the ring and handing it to Cassius.

"Well, I was thinking right now. Mr. Lupin, are you free?"

Remus looked around the room. "Yes, Mr. Malfoy." He smiled.

"Now, because of various reasons – mainly to keep you safe from my father, I thought we shouldn't be married publicly." Cassius looked at Remus waiting for his reaction. Remus nodded. "Good, so we'll just exchange rings and consider ourselves married. Since we're already mated, this is just a formality anyway, right?" Remus nodded again. "And our anniversary will be yesterday because I don't want to share my birthday and we mated yesterday, that ok?" Remus nodded once more. "Ready?"

"Yes." Remus wondered wildly if they should get dressed for the ceremony, but before he could suggest it, Cassius started.

"Remus Josiah Lupin, do you take me, Cassius Julian Aurelius Malfoy to be your husband?" 

"You have two middle names?" Remus realized he hadn't known Cassius' full name before now.

"Yes, and I hate them both…does that make a difference?"

"No, no." Remus shook his head.

"So? Your answer?"

"Yes.  I mean, I do." 

"Good. So then this ring is a symbol of our love and that you're stuck with me." Cassius smiled as he slid Remus' ring back on his hand.

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer." Remus added.

"There's no 'for poorer', I'm rich." Cassius interrupted.

"Shush, it has to be said. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part." Remus finished.

"Now your turn." Cassius handed his ring to Remus.

  
"I don't know if I can remember all your names." Remus suddenly felt very nervous.

  
"I'll help."

"Cassius Julius…"

"Julian."

"Cassius Julian Al..."

  
"Aurelius."

  
Remus took a deep breath, determined to get all four names out correctly this time.

"Cassius Julian Aurelius Malfoy, do you take me, Remus Josiah Lupin to be your husband?"

"You bet."

"You have to say 'I do.'" Remus said sternly.

"I do."

"This ring is a symbol of our love and means that we're married and we love each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Till death do us part."  Remus moved to put the ring on Cassius' hand.

"Wait."

  
"What?"

"Well, I can't wear it on my hand in public but I want to wear it all the time. So I found a charm." Cassius leaned over and picked up his wand from the nightstand. "Hold the ring out. _Pentrifico__ halocomas._" He pointed his wand at the ring and then made a complicated flick. Remus looked down at his hand, the ring was gone.

"Where…"

  
"Ouch." Cassius was rubbing his chest.

"What happened?" Remus cried out in alarm. Cassius lowered his hand revealing the ring piercing through his left nipple.

"Does it hurt?" Remus couldn't see any blood but…

  
"No, it doesn't hurt anymore, it just stung at first." Cassius smiled. 

"When did you find that charm?" Remus asked curiously.

"A few months ago." Cassius flushed.

"So you knew I'd marry you?" Remus tilted his head at Cassius.

"I hoped you would…" Cassius looked down at Remus' hand which was now caressing his chest. 

"It's pretty hot." Remus gazed at the gold ring shining on Cassius' broad muscular chest.

"Really? I hadn't thought about that…you _are_ kinky." Cassius leered at Remus.

He should have known that Cassius wouldn't have asked him to marry him if he hadn't thought through all the steps – he was a Malfoy after all. And now he was Remus' mate, his husband. 

"We need to kiss." Remus said suddenly.

"What?" Cassius' eyes clouded with desire as Remus' fingers brushed over the bite mark on his shoulder.

"To finish the marriage ceremony. You need to kiss me."

"Oh, I'll do more than that." Cassius leaned towards Remus.

"Wait! You have to say we're married first!" Remus pushed against Cassius, he didn't want to mess up their wedding ceremony, however untraditional it was.

"What?" Cassius froze when he heard the rising panic in Remus' voice.

"When James and Lily got married, at the end the minister said 'I now pronounce you husband and wife' and then they kissed."

  
"I now pronounce us husband," Cassius pointed to himself "and wife." Cassius pointed to Remus. "And I give myself permission to kiss my bride." He smirked at Remus and tackled him, forcing him down on the bed, kissing him passionately. After a moment his mouth traveled down Remus' jaw, towards his neck.

"I don't see why you couldn't say husband and husband. After all, I gave you the ring, you joined _my_ family." Remus said. "So…oh." Cassius' mouth had found the bite mark and he was licking around the edge.

"What were you saying?" He lifted his head for a moment,

  
"Now you're going to call me wife, and I don't…Oh….Mmm." Cassius had started sucking at the bite mark.

"You don't want to be called wife?" Cassius mumbled against Remus' skin before starting to lick and bite and suck alternately at the mark.

"I…Oh….Mmmm…Uh…." Remus squirmed breathlessly under Cassius. He could barely remember what had he been saying.

"Yes, you do want to be called wife?" Cassius mumbled between licks.

"Mmmmm….Yes….Cass….Oh." Remus rocked his hips towards Cassius. He couldn't think. Massive, shocking jolts of pleasure were starting from the bite mark and radiating through his body. He'd never felt anything like it. Cassius' hands skimmed down his sides as he settled between Remus' legs. Remus moved his hands over Cassius' shoulder blades and down his back, feeling the familiar scars under his fingers. Remus felt himself start to go over the edge.

"I can't – I have to…" Cassius pulled his head from Remus' collarbone, and pulled Remus' legs up around his waist…. 

A hour later, Remus lay across the bed, he was sticky and drenched with sweat. He didn't know if he would ever have the strength to get out of bed again, but he didn't care.  His hand searched for Cassius', once he found it he laced his fingers together with his mate's.

"This is the best birthday I've ever had." Cassius said softly. "And it's still got 22 hours to go."


	6. The Honeymoon Part 1

Chapter 6 

The Honeymoon – Part 1

Cassius woke up to the smell of breakfast wafting up the stairs.  Remus was snuggled close to him. Cassius moved to pull Remus even closer and felt a burning pain in his left shoulder. Suddenly the fog of sleep cleared and he remembered they had mated the night before – and Remus had married him. He rolled to his back, bringing his hand up, touching the bite mark, then the ring that Remus had given to him. Remus stirred, cold now that Cassius had moved away. He slowly opened his amber eyes. 

"Good morning." Remus said sleepily.

"Good morning." Cassius leaned in for a kiss. "Tabby's cooked breakfast, come on, let's go tell her!"

He jumped out of bed and went into the closet. He emerged a moment later in jeans and a t-shirt. He tossed Remus a shirt and pants.

"Do you think she'll be surprised?" Remus sat up and pulled on the clothes Cassius had tossed to him. Together they walked down to the kitchen.

"Glad to see you two have made up." Tabby said as she set the teapot on the table along with a pitcher of pumpkin juice.

"We're married." Cassius said happily.

"Really? And when was the ceremony?" She asked Cassius sharply.

"Just after Midnight in our room." He smiled down at her. Remus sat down and Tabby put a plate in front of him. She turned back to the stove to pick up the platters of eggs, bacon, and toast. Just as she had levitated the platters to the table, Cassius crossed towards her quickly and scooped her up into a hug. "Aren't you happy for us?" He swung her around in a circle.

"I am happy for Remus and for you, you idiot.  Now put me down." Tabby was smiling. Cassius set her down.  "Where are the rings?"

"Remus is wearing his, we used his Lupin family ring, the one he wears anyway." Cassius pointed to Remus' left hand which he held up obligingly.

"I see. And where is your ring?" Tabby put her hands on her wide hips as she looked pointedly at Cassius' hands.

"Here." Cassius pulled up his shirt. Tabby reached out and touched the ring. 

"It's a Lupin family ring too?" She asked as her finger smoothed around the circle.

"It was my father's." Remus answered as he poured himself some pumpkin juice.

"Cassius Lupin – that has a nice ring to it." Tabby nodded approvingly.

"What?" Cassius looked confused.

"You took the Lupin family ring, that means you're a Lupin now."

"Oh…" Cassius mouthed the name silently as he sat down at the table, pulling his shirt back down.

"And the bite mark? You'll need to make sure it doesn't infected – let me see." Tabby tugged at Cassius' shirt, moving the collar so she could see the bite. "Hmm…looks fine now. Remus, let me see yours, it's probably almost healed." Remus nodded, pulling his collar aside so Tabby could check.

"That's not fair!"  Cassius looked at the bite mark on Remus' neck which looked about a week old, even though it was only about 7 hours old.  
  
"He's a werewolf…"

"Really, Tabby?  Honestly – do I forget everything?!  I _know_ he's a werewolf! I have the bite to prove it!" Cassius suddenly felt indignant – his memory wasn't that bad, was it?

"I meant the mating bite would heal faster than yours." Tabby said patiently.

"Oh. I knew that." 

Tabby sat down at the table and poured herself some tea. "When will you be moving your stuff over, Remus?" 

"He's going to move in today. I thought we'd go over to his place after breakfast." Cassius smiled quickly at Remus.

Tabby smiled at them both, but Cassius noticed tears in her eyes.

"Tabby, what's wrong?" Cassius felt very alarmed, he'd never seen Tabby cry before.

"It just makes me happy that you two are together – sometimes, even if people love each other…" She picked a piece of toast off the platter in front of her.

"Are you talking about someone you…?" Cassius asked slowly.

"Now, Remus, since you don't work, I'll start serving lunch and tea during the week for you.  Breakfast is at 8, Lunch at Noon, Tea at 4, Supper at 7. If you will be sleeping in, let me know the night before so I don't waste the food." Tabby was her usual brisk self again. "Although I think you shouldn't skip any meals, you are too thin as it is."

Remus nodded.

After they finished eating, they floo-ed to Moody's because Cassius wanted to tell him the good news immediately. After a brief visit with Moody – where he too got mysteriously misty-eyed –   they floo-ed to Remus' house.  Moody had said he would contact a real estate witch he knew and she would handle the sale.  Remus would just need to sign some paperwork and she would do the rest.

"Ok, Tabby told me the spell to make these appear at our house. So you want to take everything?" 

Remus nodded. Most of the furniture had been sold in order to buy food, so there wasn't much to move. But there were still all the portraits of his family, and the family table and chairs that were 300 years old.  Then there were trunks of his parents belongings, as well as trunks of James and Lily's stuff.  

  
"Ok." Cassius pointed his wand at everything in turn and said the moving spell.  One by one, things disappeared from the house. "That's everything then.  I better get to work, I'm only a little late now."

"Ok." Remus leaned in close for a kiss. "I'll see you tonight."

"Yes, you will." Cassius kissed him and then said "I love you, wife." Remus glared at him. "You said yes when I asked you if I could call you that." Cassius smiled slyly.

"I think I was a little preoccupied at the time."

"It still counts."  Cassius smiled.  Remus felt his insides melt at the smile.

"I love you, husband."  Cassius Apparated.

"Mr. Lupin?" A woman's voice called from the front door.  

"In here!" Remus called.

"Hello! My name is Alice Webster, here's my card. Mr. Moody told me you wanted to sell this house?" 

"Yes, I just got married and so I'm moving." Remus said vaguely, Alice seemed very friendly but he didn't want to shock her.

"That is wonderful. Congratulations! " She said with a warm smile. "I just have some paperwork for you to sign and then I'll take it from there.  Do you have an idea of how much you want?"

Remus hadn't thought about it. He and Cassius had never discussed finances.  Cassius had come into a large inheritance at 18, he owned Windy Corner outright and also got well paid for his work as an Auror…but Remus wanted to bring some money into the marriage.

"Um…I have no idea…what do you think it would sell for?"

"We'll have to do some repairing spells, some new paint, that's easy enough.  The neighborhood is still good.  It's large enough for a family.  I expect you will receive a nice price for this, Mr. Lupin." She smiled again.

"Where do I sign?" He returned her smile. She produced the paperwork and after three signatures and five initials, he was done.

"I'll need your contact information." Remus wrote the Windy Corner address on her notepad. "And I'll leave you to say goodbye. I'll be in touch." She Apparated.

Remus turned around the room where he and his parents had spent many happy evenings. He took a deep breath, debating whether he should go through every room.  In the end, he visited every room, remembering the happy times. Finally he stepped out the front door and shut it behind him. He walked down the lane, remembering playing on the street, there had been several other wizard families living here when he had been small.  He reached the end of the lane and, after checking that the coast was clear, he Apparated back to Windy Corner. He arrived in the kitchen. 

"Tabby? I'm back!" He called.

  
"I'm upstairs, in the attic!" He heard her voice faintly.

He headed up the stairs and found her standing in the large attic room. He had never been in it before.  He noticed a portrait of Cassius and his family leaning against the wall.  They all looked very cold. Remus shivered…Lucius had been a Death Eater, although he claimed he'd been under the Imperious Spell…Remus didn't believe him and he knew Cassius wanted to believe but didn't. He looked away from the portrait and around the room. All of the portraits, trunks, furniture from his parents' house was now in the room. Tabby was levitating trunks across the room.  

"I noticed the various initials on the trunks and I've grouped them together. I thought we could put the table and portraits down in the dining room. We don't have any furniture in there now. The loveseat can go in the sitting room. Do you want the chair in your room? The matching nightstands are nice, I thought they could go in your room too.  Cassius only has the one and that can be moved back to the guest room - it belongs to the same set of furniture." 

"Sounds like a plan." Remus was glad Tabby was there to help. She was very businesslike, he would have felt overwhelmed by it all. 

"Very well, I'll move the furniture and portraits but you will have to help me put the portraits up on the walls, how to arrange them and such."  With a flick of her wand, the furniture in question was gone. She led them out of the room and shut the door behind them.

By the time Cassius arrived home from work, Tabby and Remus had put up all the portraits in the dining room and Remus' furniture fit in nicely with the rest of the house.


	7. The Honeymoon Part 2

Chapter 7 – The Honeymoon Continued

Cassius strode into the dining room where Remus and Tabby were taking a final look around the room, trying to decide if any portraits should be moved around again.

"Wow!" Cassius looked around the room in surprise. The Lupin ancestors gazed at him inquiringly, especially Remus' parents.

"Do you like it?" Remus was suddenly worried.

"It's amazing…" Cassius walked over to Remus, gathering him into his arms. Cassius leaned down to kiss Remus but froze as Remus' father's voice boomed from the portrait across the room.

"Now, now – we'd like to have a talk with you, sir." Remus looked over at his father, who was looking very serious.  Cassius had been introduced to the portraits on one of his first visits to Remus' parents house. "Remus, please leave us?"  Remus' mother asked gently.  Remus looked over at Cassius and then walked out of the dining room with Tabby, Tabby shut the door behind them. 15 minutes later, Cassius entered the kitchen looking slightly shaken.

"Everything ok?" Remus hurried over to him.

"Yes – it's fine.  I just had to promise every member of your family that I wouldn't hurt you." Cassius gave a wry smile. "And that I knew what it entailed to be the mate of a werewolf. Your parents love you very much."

Remus smiled shyly.

"How was your day?" Remus twined his arms around Cassius' waist.

"Mm…good." Cassius smiled bigger as he drew Remus closer to him. "It's much better now that I'm here with you."

"I love you." The words burst from Remus' mouth. Cassius leaned down and gave Remus a deep, wet kiss. Remus threaded his hands through Cassius' silky blonde hair. He could feel his body getting hard in response to Cassius' warmth. There was a slight cough from Tabby.  Remus and Cassius separated with a little difficulty.

"Dinner is on the table – your cake is in the cooling cupboard.  I'll be in my room." Tabby said as she took off her apron and hung it on the hook next to the oven. She walked over to Cassius. "Happy birthday, darling." Cassius leaned down and she kissed his cheek, then pressed her cheek against his for a moment. She stepped back. "Your birthday presents are next to your plate.  Stevens sent his over this afternoon."

"Thanks, Tabby. Are you sure you won't eat with us?"

"No, I think you and your mate should have time to yourselves, it's your honeymoon, after all." Tabby smiled warmly.

Remus watched the interaction between Tabby and Cassius. They really loved each other very much, Remus knew that she was very happy for them.  He wondered again why she had cried that morning – he didn't know much about her past and wondered if there had been a love affair that had ended badly.

"All right.  Good night then." Cassius squeezed Tabby's hand.

"Good night.  Good night Remus." Tabby nodded at him quickly, transformed into a cat and ran out of the kitchen. Remus could hear her footsteps as she ran up the stairs.

"Hmm…" Cassius turned to Remus. "What do you think about eating naked?"

"I…" Remus stared at Cassius.

"Actually, we better not.  I'm starving and I'd get too distracted if you were naked." Cassius grinned and walked over to the kitchen table. He sat down and after a moment, Remus followed, sitting down on the other side of the table.

~~

After the birthday supper, they sat in the sitting room on the loveseat in front of the fire.

"This is nice, isn't it – our home." Cassius pulled Remus closer, twining his fingers between Remus'. "Aren't you glad you said yes?" 

"Yes."  Remus snuggled closer to his husband's warm body. "I just have a couple questions."

"Hmm?" Cassius was kissing Remus' neck.

"How are you going to make sure your family doesn't find out about me?" Remus asked, leaning his head back to give Cassius more access but Cassius pulled away so he could answer.

"The house is unplottable, it's got protection wards on it, you can't floo here from Malfoy Manor. I did a charm so I'm the only Malfoy who can Apparate here. They don't have any idea where I - we live. Tabby's name is still on the deed for Windy Corner, even though I own the place. So, as a matter of public record, I don't even live here. They owl me at the Ministry – I told Father that way the Malfoys would be shown to be supportive of me in my career, you know, not Death Eaters. He thought that made sense. I told him aurors weren't allowed to tell where they lived – it's not true, but they don't know that – being Malfoys it made sense to them. Malfoys _love_ secrets… Luke knows that I have someone –  soon after we got together he put some spells on Father so Father won't be overly curious about me or my life." Remus looked over at Cassius, his green eyes were cool. Remus shifted and moved onto Cassius' lap. Cassius shook his head slightly and his eyes warmed. He circled Remus with both arms.

"Isn't Lucius curious about your life?" Remus tilted his head, his brown and grey streaked hair fell over one eye.

"No – he understands." Cassius shrugged. "He has secrets of his own."

"What about the Ministry?" Remus changed the subject from Cassius' family.

"They won't know because it's not a matter of public record."

"But what about the other aurors that you work with?" Remus brushed Cassius' blonde hair back from his forehead. 

"Well, I answer to Moody, he's the one who contacts me for my assignments – when he retires…I suppose I'll have to tell his replacement… I'm not friendly with any of the other aurors. None of them will be floo-ing over for tea anytime soon."

"Oh."

"So – any more questions? Because it _is_ our honeymoon…" Cassius started to lean forward to kiss Remus. He put his hand over Cassius' mouth quickly - there had been something else and if Cassius kissed him he'd never remember it. Remus wracked his brain…oh yes.

"The double-mating, what exactly does that mean?" Remus removed his hand from Cassius' mouth, wiping it on his leg because Cassius had licked it.

"Remus, I can't believe you don't know!  It means…umm…well, it means lots, I can't remember all of it. The book's upstairs on my desk. I get some of your werewolf abilities, not as good as you but better than a human. I'm able to mark you, the mark takes on the same characteristics as the mark you gave me. And the other thing I remember is that technically, you shouldn't attack me, even when you're transformed…although….I don't know I'm willing to try that, just yet."

"I wouldn't want you to try that either." Remus shivered as he imagined what could happen…he never wanted to hurt Cassius.

"Anything else?" Cassius rubbed his nose against Remus'.

"Umm.. No."

"Good – because I want to try that bite-thing." Cassius stood up, setting Remus on his feet. "Unless you had other plans?"

Remus shook his head. They went up the stairs, Remus felt a thrill as he realized they were going to "their" room, they were married now. Once they were both in the bedroom, Cassius shut the door behind them.

"Should we do a silencing spell?" Remus asked, suddenly aware that Tabby's room was above theirs.

"Remus…" Cassius started to laugh. "I've had a continuous silencing spell on this room for over a year."

"What?" Remus was surprised.

"Mmm…you're very…vocal. Tabby was complaining she couldn't get any sleep when you stayed over." Cassius smirked at him. Remus felt his face get hot. He was so embarrassed…he didn't think he was _that _loud.  "I personally love it when you yell my name and all those little moans" Cassius started to slowly walk towards Remus. "And groans and gasps and sighs." Cassius was standing right in front of Remus now. Remus felt his body start to tingle. Cassius' long fingers reached out and pulled Remus' sweater up and over his head. Cassius' fingers smoothed over the bite mark on Remus' shoulder and Remus felt a shiver of pleasure down his spine. Cassius reached for Remus' waistband and unbuttoned his pants, shoving them to the floor. His green eyes raked over Remus' body.  Remus imagined he could feel the heat from Cassius' eyes as they moved down his body.  Cassius loved to look at him, Remus had gotten used to it, although he still sometimes felt self-conscious about his scars.

"I'm so glad you said yes." Cassius' voice was husky as his eyes moved up and locked with Remus'. Remus swallowed hard as he saw the love in Cassius' eyes. He couldn't speak but just reached for Cassius, tugging his shirt up and over his head. Cassius unbuttoned his pants and was naked in a moment. He didn't allow Remus any time to look at him, just picked Remus up and practically threw Remus onto the bed, quickly crawling on top of him.  He knelt on his hands and knees above Remus and attached his mouth to Remus' bite mark. Less than an hour later, Remus had had three orgasms – just from Cassius touching, licking and sucking the bite mark. Remus felt wrung out. It had been amazing, he couldn't believe the sensations that had originated from his bite mark.  
  


"That is wicked brilliant." Cassius smiled as he looked down at Remus' flushed face. "I'll have to go back and reread the chapters on werewolves to see if I can find out anything else…. May I fuck you now?" Cassius tilted his head inquiringly.

"I thought you'd never ask." Remus smiled up at Cassius, sliding his hands down Cassius' sides.

"It was driving me crazy not to be in you while you writhed around screaming my name." Cassius settled himself between Remus' legs.

~~

The next day, Remus read about Werewolves, mating and double mating. Mating bonded the werewolf to the human for life. The werewolf would cease to find anyone else sexually attractive. The double mating information was quite interesting. The human who double mated with a werewolf would also cease to find any other person sexually attractive. The human would gain heightened senses, especially smell and sound.  The human and werewolf would both have mating bites that would be erogenous zones, subject to heightened sensitivity. The bites could also be used as a pressure point to calm and soothe when one of the mates was upset or angry. Remus thought that would be helpful to remember when Cassius came home from Malfoy Manor in a temper. The wolf would recognize its mate, even when transformed, and would not attack. Remus didn't think he'd want to try that, even if the book said it was true. The transformation into the wolf would be eased by sexual relations with the human mate one hour before the moonrise. Hmm…thought Remus, that was something worth remembering.  When Cassius got home, Remus told him about what he'd read.

"So, I'll have to have sex with you _every_ full moon?" Cassius sounded vexed.

"Well – you don't have to." Remus started before noticing a smile playing around the corner of Cassius' mouth. "You!" 

"I was thinking…wife." Cassius' eyebrow arched pointedly. "You should just plan on having sex with me every night." Cassius smiled widely.  "Unless I'm too tired from work – but there's always that bite thing…"

"So, that means we're having sex tonight?" Remus sat down on Cassius' lap.

"Yes, it does. You catch on quick for a Gryffindor." Cassius said slyly. "Do you want to be on top?" Cassius wrapped his arms around Remus.

"Doesn't matter." Remus rubbed his nose against Cassius'.

"You be on top then…I've only done it like that with you." Cassius' cheeks turned pink and his eyes were downcast.

"Really?" Remus' eyes widened in surprise, Cassius' face flushed more. "I love you!" Remus said breathlessly before kissing Cassius, hugging him tightly.


	8. Developments

Author's note:  In Chapter One, Lucius was mentioned as being 6 years older than Remus – upon further investigation and thought, I have made Lucius 9 years older than Remus, 13 years older than Cassius. Sorry for the inconsistency! :-) I don't think it's that big of an impact on the story, it just means the Marauders were never at school with Lucius.

Chapter 8 – Developments

They'd been married over a year when Cassius came home from work and gathered Remus in his arms, swirling him around in a circle. "They've done it!" He kissed Remus deeply, sweeping his tongue inside, tightening his arms so Remus was crushed against him.

"Who's done what?" Remus was dizzy from the kiss and from the swirling around. Finally Cassius set him down. Remus clung to him to stop from falling over. Cassius kissed him again.

"The potion makers at the Ministry – they've made a potion that will allow werewolves to keep their human minds when they transform!" Cassius's emerald eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"What?" Remus was shocked. He knew they'd been trying for years, but he had given up hope that the Wolfsbane potion would be successful.

"They couldn't get it to work for the whole night until six months ago, and then they had to make sure. It works!" Cassius kissed Remus again.

"Really?" Remus couldn't quite believe it.

"I've got the recipe.  Are you up for trying it the next full moon?" Cassius tilted his head as he looked down at Remus. Remus didn't seem as excited as he thought he would be.

"I…I guess." Remus didn't sound sure.

"There's no harm in trying it. Just think how wonderful it would be for you, darling." Cassius brushed his hands through Remus' brown and grey streaked hair, leaning in for another quick kiss. 

"I…I just…it'd be so nice if it worked." Remus buried his face in Cassius' thick sweater, it was a cold winter day, even though it was early March.

"They say it will…They've been testing it. You know how thorough the potion makers at the Ministry are." Cassius knew how much it meant to Remus to have control over the wolf inside him. "Just give it a chance." Cassius rubbed his hands over Remus' back. "Hey." He whispered. Remus lifted his head and looked up at Cassius. "It can't make it worse, can it?" Remus slowly shook his head. Cassius tilted his head down and kissed Remus softly. "Then you'll try it?" Remus nodded. "And I'll be with you." He kissed Remus again.  Some days it seemed to Cassius that he couldn't kiss Remus enough. "Shower with me."

"Dinner is in 30 minutes." Remus knew that the shower would evolve into a slippery wet session of lovemaking.

"I'll make you come in 20." Cassius let Remus go and grabbed his hand, dragging Remus up the stairs. Cassius locked the bathroom door and put a silencing spell on the room. Cassius looked at his watch. "So, we'll start the time now, shall we?"  Remus nodded, watching Cassius lift his sweater over his head. He was wearing a cotton shirt underneath. He pulled that off a moment later. He unbuckled his belt. "You should be getting undressed too, wife." Remus shook his head, watching his husband get undressed. Cassius sat down on the edge of the bathtub and unlaced his boots, pulling them off and tossing them to the floor with a clunk. The socks came off next. 

"Turn the shower on, please." Remus took a step back, keeping his eyes on Cassius. "I'll wait." Cassius smiled. Remus turned quickly and turned on the water, adjusting the knobs. He turned back. Cassius unbuttoned his pants and stood up, undoing the zipper before pushing them to the floor along with his boxers.  He walked towards Remus slowly. 

"Now…" He reached for Remus' sweater and shirt, pulling them over Remus' head together. Remus reached his hands out and put them on Cassius' waist. Cassius undid Remus' pants and shoved them to the floor. Cassius grinned as Remus' naked body was fully exposed, including his arousal. He pulled Remus towards him and a muffled groan escaped him as he felt his mate's skin against his own. 

He moved them into the shower. He kissed down Remus' neck and then licked the bite mark.  "I love you." Remus moaned, shivering with pleasure in spite of the hot water that was coursing over the both of them. Cassius muttered a lubricating spell as he lifted Remus up. Remus twined his arms tighter around Cassius' neck and felt his back press against the cool tile of the shower wall. He hooked his legs around Cassius' waist. He felt Cassius' hardness press into him, joining them together. Cassius was as good as his word, twenty minutes after he had looked at his watch, Remus was trembling in his arms after a breathtaking orgasm.

"I love you." Cassius rubbed his nose against Remus' who could only nod in answer. Remus lowered his legs but they still dangled inches from the floor. After another moment of kissing, Cassius slowly lowered him back down to the floor. Remus leaned against the wall, feeling lightheaded. Cassius took a step away, grabbed the soap and a washcloth and started working up a lather. He swiped at Remus' chest. 

"Wife, you all right?" Cassius arched an eyebrow at his mate. Remus nodded. "I realize you're older than me, but I thought you could still keep up."

"Oh, shut it." But Remus was smiling.

"Come here and I'll wash you."

"You come here." Remus stayed where he was. Cassius did, washing him thoroughly before washing himself. He quickly turned off the water and stepped out grabbing towels for both of them.  Although they could do drying spells, often they chose to dry off the muggle way. Cassius wrapped the towel around his waist, waiting for Remus to do the same. Then he opened the door and he and Remus went into their room.  They both changed into a t-shirt and jeans before going downstairs. Tabby was just setting the food on the kitchen table as they walked in.

"Hello, Cassie." Tabby smiled at Cassius. He walked over to her and kissed her cheek.  "Now, sit down, sit down." She waved him away but as he sat down, she smoothed his damp hair back from his forehead.

"Did you hear, they've made the Wolfsbane potion." Cassius reached for the pitcher of blackberry juice. Tabby had made the juice today from some berries she had saved from the summer harvest. It was Cassius' favorite. He'd been gone on several long assignments lately and Remus knew she had made it as a special treat for him.

"Successfully?" Tabby asked as she sat down and began to serve the garlic mashed potatoes.

"They say so – they've been testing it for 6 months with success." Cassius held his plate up to get some potatoes.

"That's exciting, isn't it Remus?" Tabby put potatoes on Remus' plate before serving Cassius.

"Yes." Remus said, as he served them all the green beans, levitating the spoon to Tabby's and Cassius' plates.

"You don't sound excited." Tabby said, slicing into the vegetarian meatloaf she had made. She levitated a large slice onto Remus' plate, again serving him before Cassius. She gave a larger slice to Cassius.

"I…I just don't want to get my hopes up." Remus took a bite of the meatloaf. It was delicious, as usual. He reached for his glass of juice which Cassius had poured for him.

"The Ministry is always very careful about potions.  They test them for 6 months straight before releasing them to the public." Tabby said.

"That's what I told him too." Cassius spoke around a mouthful of potatoes.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Tabby and Remus spoke together. Cassius swallowed quickly.

"If I don't say it immediately, I'll forget it." Cassius said indignantly.

"Hmm…" Tabby looked over at Cassius. "No excuse for bad table manners." But her brown eyes were twinkling. "What else happened today at work?" 

"Moody said he's going to retire."

"When?" Tabby asked sharply.

"He told me within two years, he'd retire. It's a secret for now, he's not going to tell Fudge yet. He wants to make sure the department is in good order before he goes. He wants to be able to promote Kingsley to be a Senior Auror, because Grant is retiring next year." Kingsley Shacklebolt was another auror, he was a few years older than Cassius and they often worked on assignments together.

"He doesn't want to promote you?" Remus asked, glancing at Cassius before looking over at Tabby. She seemed agitated.

"I told him I don't want to be management." Cassius shrugged. "He says with Kingsley promoted, the Senior Aurors will be loyal to him for years, no one else is due to retire any time soon. Fudge called a meeting today about reorganizing the Auror department.  I think Fudge doesn't want anyone being as powerful as Moody."  Cornelius Fudge had recently become Minister of Magic, the rumor mill said Dumbledore had been offered the job but chosen not to take it. Moody was known as a great friend and supporter of Dumbledore. "In the new structure, the Head Auror wouldn't know all the assignments. The Senior Aurors wouldn't know what the other cases were. Fudge wants more layers of secrecy."

"And so Moody will make sure the senior aurors are trusted by Fudge but also loyal to himself?" Remus asked. 

"He says he'll be the shadow Head Auror. He'll be more powerful retired than he is now." Cassius smiled. Moody's plan was brilliant in Cassius' opinion.  And it served Fudge right for trying to push Moody aside.

~~

The sun was just rising, bringing a soft glow to the bedroom.  Remus propped himself up on his elbow and was tracing over the magical writing that was tattooed on Cassius' collarbone. It was an ancient protection spell. It was tradition within the Auror department that after three years on the job, everyone got the tattoo.  Cassius had just passed the three year mark and the tattoo was about a week old. Remus was still getting used to the mark on his mate's body, but he liked it.

"Remus." Cassius' eyes were still closed, Remus had thought he was still sleeping, he loved to look at his husband, especially when he was asleep, he was so peaceful.

"Yes?" Remus started tracing the words again, starting at the top of Cassius' right arm. The tattoo started on the upper arm and then the writing extended up over the shoulder and across the collarbone, narrowing into a point where the collarbone met the breastbone.

"Moody thinks I should ask Father about my…my mother." 

"I think that's a good idea." Remus said softly.

"You do?" Cassius' eyes snapped open.

"Cass, you're 24. I think it's time you learned about her. Moody and I talked about it when he was here last week."  Moody had come over for breakfast on his final day at the Ministry. The entire Auror department had gone out at the end of the day. According to Cassius, everyone had gotten roaring drunk, thank Merlin, Remus reflected, they'd been at a secure location. Moody was like a father to every auror, they all knew his plan and supported it.

"I'll owl Lucius and see if I can go over to Malfoy Manor tomorrow for dinner – I'll talk to Father then."

"Just be careful and don't let him get to you." Remus leaned down and kissed his husband – they'd been married for 2 and a half years now and Remus loved him more each day.

"I'll try." Cassius pulled Remus on top of him. Cassius' warm hands slid down Remus' back. "Why am I naked and you aren't?"

Remus laughed, he had pulled on his flannel pajamas sometime during the night because he'd been cold. "I thought you could use a challenge this morning."

"Hmm...." Cassius whispered a spell and Remus' clothes vanished. "Not much of a challenge." His eyebrow arched up at Remus.

"Well, I know what a problem you usually have with simple charms…" Remus tried to keep the smile off his face but he couldn't resist rubbing his body against Cassius'. 

~~

The next night, Cassius returned from Malfoy Manor in a solemn mood.  Remus was in the sitting room playing the piano Cassius had bought for him on their second anniversary. Cassius dug in his pocket and pulled out a small piece of scroll.  He unrolled it and sat down. 

"I found out her name."

"And?"  Remus stood up and crossed the room, Cassius reached out and pulled Remus into his lap. 

"It was Emma."

"Emma what?" Remus asked after Cassius was silent for a few moments.

"He didn't know."

"Oh…" Remus knew that Cassius' mother had lived with the Malfoys as Julius' wife for over 5 years. He couldn't believe no one knew her last name.

"She was pure-blood." 

Trust Julius Malfoy to make sure the witch he raped was pure-blood, Remus thought with disgust. Cassius looked down at the scroll. Remus looked at it too but he couldn't make out any of the words on the scroll. Although Cassius' writing was messy, Remus had learned to decipher it over the years. "Who wrote that?"

"Lucius, so I wouldn't forget." Cassius waved the piece of scroll in his hand.

"That was nice of him." Remus tried not to sound too surprised by the gesture. Cassius kept telling Remus that Lucius was a good brother, but Remus had heard stories about Lucius from others and wasn't convinced that Lucius was even capable of being nice. 

"She was 7th year when Lucius started his first at Hogwarts. I should be able to find out her last name in the Hogwarts records."

"It's a start." Remus smoothed a hand over Cassius' forehead. "How did you get him to talk about it?"

"Veritaserum, Lucius put it in his glass for me." Remus stroked his fingers over the back of Cassius' hand as it laid on Remus' knee. "He said Aunt Black has some pictures of her…from when we went there for holidays. Aunt Black liked her…he laughed when he said that because she, my mother, was under the Imperious Curse so she said anything he wanted her to." Cassius said dully.

"Oh…" Remus couldn't think of what to say. "Would you want to see if you could find the pictures?" Sirius' mother had been dead for three years, the house stood empty – except for the house-elf who refused to leave. 

"No – I don't want to go there."

"Well, Hogwarts should have some pictures of her…you'll be able to see what she looks like. See if you look like her."

"I don't look like her…I look like Father…except for my eyes."

"How do you know that?"

"Father told me. When I was 11…he told me she killed herself because she couldn't stand to look at me – because when she looked at me, she saw him, only with her eyes.  Father was so proud - Malfoys breed true, he said."

"You didn't cause her death." Remus said firmly, putting his hand under Cassius' chin, forcing Cassius to look at him. Cassius' green eyes were cool, Remus hated when they looked that way, it meant Cassius was hiding his feelings.

"Didn't I?  I look just like him, the man who raped her, who controlled her."

"You don't look _just_ like him." Remus stated emphatically. "I've looked at that portrait in the attic and I've looked at you." Cassius didn't answer. Suddenly Remus understood something that had always puzzled him.  "Is that why you don't look in mirrors?  Because you see your father reflected back?"  Cassius nodded without speaking. "When was the last time you looked in a mirror?"

"After he told me…"

"13 years ago?" Remus couldn't believe it.  "You should look sometime." 

"I don't need to, I see Lucius and Father often enough to know what I look like.  Draco looks like us too."  Draco was only 7, but Remus had seen pictures and knew that Draco did indeed look like the rest of the Malfoys with his pale blond hair and pointed chin.

~~

Remus heard Cassius floo into the kitchen.  He finished reading the page and put his bookmark in.  He heard Cassius walk into the hallway and start up the steps, his footsteps going quickly to the landing.  Remus drew his brows together.  Usually Cassius came into the sitting room to find Remus, it's where he always was before dinner. He got up and followed Cassius' scent up to the bathroom.  He opened the door. Cassius was facing away from the door, stripping off his clothing, the bathtub was filling with water

"How was your day?" Remus stepped closer to Cassius.  Cassius whirled around.

"Fine..." His eyes looked wary.

Remus suddenly realized he could smell someone else's scent on Cassius.

"Who were you with?" Remus growled, he felt the hair on the back on his neck stand up. 

"Kingsley and I were tracking a thestral in Yorkshire, it'd been killing sheep. It went into a cave, there was a rockslide and we got trapped for over four hours." Cassius spoke quickly as he stripped off the rest of his clothing.

"And what did you do?" Remus grabbed Cassius' arms tightly. Cassius had to clench his jaw to keep from gasping in pain. He knew he'd have bruises later.

"Nothing!" Cassius' eyes widened. He'd never seen Remus so angry.

"Then why can I smell him all over you?" Remus felt black fury growing inside of him as he pulled Cassius closer to him.

"He shoved me out of the way of a big boulder and he landed on top of me. Nothing else happened." Cassius spoke softly, they were nose to nose.

"Then why did you avoid me?" Remus snarled.

"Because tomorrow's the full moon and I thought you'd overreact!" Cassius suddenly thought he should have gone to Moody's first, and cleaned up there. He'd read that werewolves became more possessive and dominating in the days around the full moon although he'd never seen Remus get that way. If anything, Remus just became more demonstrative and affectionate.

"Tell me again that nothing happened." He locked gazes with Cassius. Cassius decided he definitely should have gone to Moody's.  Remus' eyes were glowing unnaturally and he looked wild.

"Nothing happened.  Nothing would ever happen with anyone else. You know that." Cassius looked deeply into Remus' eyes. 

Remus took a deep breath…he knew nothing could have happened, but he couldn't calm the wolf yet.  His mate still had someone else's scent all over him. "Get in the bathtub," he growled.

Cassius stepped into the bathtub and quickly sat down starting to wash himself.  Remus stripped off his clothes and stepped into the tub behind Cassius.  He reached forward and grabbed the sponge and the soap from Cassius' hand.  He lathered up the sponge and started to wash Cassius. His hand shook as he moved the sponge across Cassius' shoulders and down his back.  They had been mated over three years but Remus had never felt so possessive or jealous. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest.

"You're mine." The words jumped out of his mouth as he moved to wash Cassius' chest.

"I know."  Cassius answered submissively as he tilted his head to the side, allowing Remus access to the mating bite mark. He'd read that the human mate needed to be subservient when the werewolf got possessive.  He steeled himself against the pain to come. Driven by the wolf's instinct, Remus lowered his head and bit down hard. Cassius couldn't help gasping as the pain burned in his shoulder. Remus swallowed the blood that flowed to the surface of Cassius' skin.  He licked at the bite and Cassius shuddered as a jolt of pleasure coursed down his spine.  Remus lifted his head and quickly washed the rest of Cassius' body and got out of the tub. He did a quick drying spell on himself. Cassius sat in the bathtub watching Remus warily, he didn't know if he should get up or wait for Remus to tell him to do so. He didn't have to wait long.

"Get out." He growled, his amber eyes glowing.  
  


Cassius stood, water cascading down his tall, lean body. Remus felt himself get harder. Cassius stepped out of the tub and was pulled close to Remus.

"You are mine." Desire and possession mingled in his voice.

"I know." Cassius repeated softly.

Remus pulled Cassius into their bedroom and shoved him down on the bed. He nuzzled Cassius' body as Cassius lay passively. Cassius smelled of water and soap and Cassius. Remus took a deep breath, trying to calm the wolf, but the wolf wasn't satisfied yet. Remus knelt back and pulled Cassius' hips up onto his thighs. Cassius lay there, compliant, allowing Remus to arrange his limbs. Remus gazed down at his mate's body, feeling calmer. He took another deep breath. The wolf didn't want its mate hurt, however much it wanted to possess him. He quickly did a spell that prepared Cassius and then slid in, joining their bodies.  Finally, the wolf was satisfied.


	9. Death of the Patriarch

Author's Notes – I am skipping ahead two years.  So Cassius is now 26, Remus is 30 and they've been married over 4 years.  This chapter has some violence and some angst so be warned! Please hit that review button when you finish!

Chapter 9 - Death of the Patriarch.

Remus had just finished playing a piece on the piano and was arranging his sheet music to play another song when he heard Cassius Apparate into the kitchen. He had gone to Malfoy Manor to visit that evening. He went twice a year, although he saw Lucius and Draco much more often.  Remus walked in from the sitting room, slowly, just in case Cassius was in a bad temper, and saw Cassius on his hands and knees, coughing up blood.  

"Tabby!" Remus yelled as he rushed over to Cassius, he knelt down, rubbing his hand over Cassius' back. "Cass – what happened?" Cassius coughed up more blood, shook his head once, then collapsed onto the floor.

Tabby rushed into the room. "What happened?" Her face paled as she saw Cassius.

"I don't know – he can't talk – he's just coughing up blood."  Remus felt himself begin to panic. He pulled Cassius into his arms, taking care to keep Cassius' head turned to the side so he wouldn't choke. The blood started to create a dark pool on the stone floor around them.

Tabby threw some floo powder into the fire place. "Alastor!! Come quickly!" Her voice was shaky. She rushed out the back door into the garden, returning a moment later with a few uprooted plants in her hands. Moody arrived as she rushed back inside.  He saw Cassius immediately and hurried over to him. 

"It's the Hemalia hex." Moody said gruffly. Remus gasped – it was a dark hex, he'd read about it…it caused immense pain all over the body from muscle spasms, the lungs liquefied and the victim would often choke to death while coughing up the blood. The victim would certainly die if the cure wasn't administered within 30 minutes. The problem was the potion took almost that long to make.

"Yes!  Help  - potion!" Tabby yelled at him brokenly. Moody reached in a cupboard for a cauldron, setting it on the table, then rushed into the pantry as fast as he could, retrieving a few bottles of ingredients.  "Damn Julius Malfoy to hell – using it on his son!" Tabby said angrily, tears streaming down her face as she chopped the plants she had pulled up.

Moody and Tabby worked together effortlessly on the potion as Remus cradled Cassius on the floor. Remus was more scared then he'd ever been in his whole life. Cassius was paler than Remus had ever seen him and his body shook as he coughed up more blood…Remus could only imagine the pain he was in. He gripped Cassius tighter. 

"Please hold on…don't die… I love you…please don't leave me." Remus pleaded with Cassius. "Don't leave me, please. I love you so much. I don't know what I would do…you have to hold on. They're making the potion, you'll be fine, just please hold on. I love you." Remus was rocking back and forth, he could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. Cassius continued to shake and cough up blood. The blood was spreading in a circle around Remus and Cassius. Remus smoothed back Cassius' hair feeling completely helpless.  "Please hold on. They're making the potion. It won't be long now. I love you so much." He kept talking to Cassius until the potion was finished.  It was the longest twenty minutes of Remus' life. Tabby rushed over with a glass of the potion, together she and Moody forced it down Cassius' throat between coughs. It took effect immediately. Cassius took a deep shuddery breath.

"All right now, my boy?" Moody smoothed his hand over Cassius' forehead. Cassius nodded once.  "You gave us all quite a scare." Moody's scarred face twisted in a smile. Tabby was sobbing with relief, she pressed kisses to Cassius' forehead. "What's your name?"

"I know my name." Cassius said weakly.

"Humor me. What's your full name?" Moody said gruffly. Remus pressed his hand against Cassius' chest, his shirt was soaked with blood, but Remus could feel his heartbeat slowing to a normal pace. Tabby put her arm around Remus and hugged him tightly, brushing her other hand over Cassius' hair.

"Cassius Julian Aurelius Malfoy Lupin."

"When's Remus' birthday?" Moody asked.

"August 2." Cassius answered promptly.

"Good. You're fine. You need just a bath." Moody said gruffly, looking down at Cassius who was almost completely covered in blood. "Remus, do you need help?"

"No. I'll manage." Remus helped Cassius to his feet and they slowly walked upstairs, Remus held Cassius tightly. Cassius leaned heavily on Remus' shoulder.  He turned the shower on without letting go of Cassius. Cassius stepped in and leaned wearily against the wall, he was still wearing all his clothes.  Remus quickly stripped off his own blood soaked clothes and stepped in beside Cassius.  He encircled Cassius tightly.  Cassius leaned over and rested his head on Remus' shoulder.

"Oh, Cass…I thought I was going to lose you…I was so scared…You're never going to Malfoy Manor again as long as your father lives." He held on to Cassius tightly and nuzzled his neck, kissing the bite mark, Cassius shivered. "I love you so much." Remus stripped off Cassius' clothing and washed the rest of blood off. 

After tucking Cassius into their bed, Remus walked back down to the kitchen to tell Tabby and Moody good night, Cassius was already asleep, worn out from the hex and Remus just needed to be with him, to hold him. He got to the doorway and stopped. Moody was holding Tabby's hands gently, they were covered in painful-looking boils.

"You needed gloves, Bette." Remus had never heard Moody speak so tenderly.

"There wasn't time." 

"Sit down." Moody guided Tabby towards the kitchen table and she sat down. The blood was gone from the floor. Remus knew Tabby would have cleaned that up right away. Moody walked into the pantry and came out with a jar of salve. Remus noticed again that Moody seemed to know his way around Windy Corner rather well, especially the pantry, which was Tabby's domain. Remus had always thought it was because Moody had visited Cassius often but now Remus wondered if Moody had been here before – when Tabby had lived here by herself.  Moody smoothed the salve over Tabby's hands, the boils started to go away. 

"I …" Moody began to speak.

"Don't." Tabby's voice was clipped.

Moody's magical eye swiveled around to look at Remus. "How is he?"

"He's already fast asleep – I just came to say good night."

"Night then." Moody turned and threw floo-powder into the fireplace and was gone.  Tabby stayed where she was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Good night, Tabby.  I love you," said Remus.

Tabby nodded, Remus sensed she was too emotional to answer, he could see the tears gleaming in her eyes, they had appeared the moment Moody was gone.

~~

The next day, Cassius had been at work just a few hours when he got an owl from his brother. He was still sore from the hex but not enough to keep him from work. It had taken some convincing for Remus and Tabby to allow him to go, but he had an important meeting with Kingsley and so they had finally agreed that Cassius could go to work, provided he tell Kingsley immediately if he wasn't feeling well. 

_Meet me at the Dusty Caldron, today, __5 pm_.

He quickly owled Remus to let him know that he would be home late and the reason – Remus tended to worry and it was getting near the full moon which caused Remus to be more on edge. Even though the Wolfsbane potion, discovered three years ago, made the transformations much better for him, the days up to the full moon were still stressful. Cassius was distracted for the rest of the day, wondering what had happened at Malfoy Manor after he had left. Cassius walked into the Cauldron promptly at 5 and spotted his brother right away, he was sitting in a corner table and already had tea waiting for him.  He walked over and sat down across from his brother.

"It's done, Cassius. You needn't worry about Father anymore."  Lucius spoke in the Malfoy blood-tongue. Thanks to a long ago spell that was part of the Malfoy blood, it was a language that only Malfoys understood. It made silencing charms unnecessary. Their father had always insisted they talk only in Malfoy-speak when they were at the Manor.

"What happened after I left?" Cassius answered in the other language automatically. He had Apparated right after his father had hexed him in a fit of fury. He knew he had to get home quickly to get the cure.

"The healer thinks it was a heart attack. He'd been treated for a heart condition for several years, you know." Lucius took a sip of his tea. Cassius felt relief that his father was dead, he'd never loved him, his father's behavior had made that impossible.

"What was it really?" Cassius was certain it hadn't been a heart attack. He stirred some sugar into his cup.

Lucius arched his eyebrow in response, as if surprised that Cassius was questioning his story. 

"Luke -" Cassius was interrupted by Lucius' cool voice.

"Cassie, he's dead. Does it really matter how?"

"Yes, it matters…you did it for me." 

"Yes…I did it for you." Lucius paused, when he continued, it was in a warmer voice. "When I was young, I used to…pray for someone to stop Father hurting me. But I just sat by when he did it to you, all those years…I was afraid of him…I should have killed him when you were 12…." Pale grey eyes locked with green. "Anyway, I couldn't do nothing again." Lucius was very guarded emotionally, a product of being Julius Malfoy's son. In spite of that, Cassius had known for a long time that Lucius loved him, in his own way. He couldn't remember when exactly he had realized it, but the feeling had been there since he'd been at Hogwarts. Away from Malfoy Manor and their father's presence, the brothers had been able to let their true feelings show. Although they were 13 years apart, they had grown close. He realized this was the closest Lucius had ever come to actually saying he loved him. Lucius had finally defended him against their father.

"When's the funeral?" Cassius asked, his voice a bit hoarse…he swallowed hard to get rid of the lump that was forming in his throat.

"Saturday. It will be a big service, we'll have the reception at the Manor.  You'll come?"

"I'll make an appearance, of course." Cassius nodded.

"Will you bring your…?"  
  


"No."

"You don't trust me? I thought it was just Father you were hiding him from." Lucius gave a small smile.

Cassius smiled, arching his eyebrow as well. "It wouldn't be just you at the funeral, would it?  I'd rather keep him safe from all the other dark wizards there, I don't want any of them coming after him. This might come as a shock to you, but I'm not that popular with Father's friends or yours." 

"Some other time?" Cassius shrugged. Lucius stood, his black robe falling in elegant folds. "Thank you for meeting me."

"I'll see you Saturday."  Cassius stood and extended his hand. Lucius grasped it, then shocked Cassius by pulling him in for a hug, it was the first time Cassius could remember Lucius ever hugging him.

"I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner, brother." Lucius' voice was rough.

~~

When Cassius got home, he found Moody there for dinner, Tabby was nowhere to be seen.  Remus had cooked dinner in her absence. As they ate, he told Remus and Moody about the conversation with Lucius.  Remus was shocked to hear that Lucius killed their father because he had attacked Cassius. 

"What did he mean he should have done it when you were 12. What happened then?"  Moody asked.

"I don't know… I don't know why that year and not any other." Cassius looked troubled, trying to figure out what could have happened that would have been special about that year.

"What happened last night to make your father hex you?" Remus asked.

"Nothing special." Cassius shrugged. "I told him I would never marry a woman. Apparently he'd been harboring the idea that one day I would wake up straight. I told him he was wrong."

~~

On Saturday, Cassius walked into Malfoy Manor.  He could sense a difference in the place, his father's presence was gone. Narcissa walked over to greet him, extending both her hands to him.  "Cassius – such a time of grief for the family." As he reached his hands to hers, he was momentarily taken aback because she was speaking English – his father had never allowed it spoken in the house.  He knew she was acting for the people already gathered in the house. She had hated and feared Julius Malfoy, like the rest of the family.

"Uncle!" Nine year old Draco rushed down the stairs and ran towards Cassius.  Cassius smiled.  He and Draco had a special bond, even though Cassius thought Lucius and Narcissa spoiled him terribly.  He knew Lucius was somehow trying to make up for the horrible childhood he had had due to their father.

"Draco – manners!" Lucius said coolly as he walked up to Cassius, clapping his hand on Cassius' shoulder briefly before turning to greet another guest.

"Hello, Uncle Malfoy."  Draco held his hand out formally. It was the tradition to address aunts and uncles by last name in pure-blood households.

"Hello, Nephew." Cassius shook Draco's hand very seriously and then tugged him in for a hug. Draco hugged Cassius tightly. Lucius didn't hug the boy often  – Cassius thought it was probably because he was uncomfortable with shows of affection, having never received them as a child. Cassius hadn't either but he had craved physical affection growing up, receiving it only from the house-elves. He was glad to have Remus, Tabby and his nephew to hug. 

"How is school?" Cassius let Draco go and they walked together towards Draco's room. Cassius had no desire to mingle with either his father's friends or his brother's.

"Fine, except the history professor this year is a mudblood."

"So?" Cassius arched an eyebrow at his nephew, Lucius hated anyone who wasn't pureblood and seemed to have Draco feeling the same.

"Well…it's just…he shouldn't be teaching us, everyone at the school is pureblood." Draco looked up at his uncle. "Don't you think so?"

"I don't think it matters."

"You don't?" Draco's jaw dropped open.

"No.  But you need to make up your own mind."

"Oh…  How is your friend?" Draco knew that Cassius lived with someone.

"He's fine."

"He couldn't come today?"

"No, he's busy." Cassius lied easily.

"I drew you a picture." Draco ran over to his desk and picked up a scroll.  He handed it to his uncle.  They continued to visit for a few minutes then Cassius went back downstairs to say goodbye to Lucius and Narcissa. He made sure everyone saw him before leaving for home.

"Remus?" Cassius climbed the stairs to the library.

"How was it?" Remus looked up from his book.

"Fine."

"You didn't stay long."

"I just had to make an appearance. Here." Cassius thrust Draco's picture at Remus.

"What's this?" Remus looked at Cassius curiously.

"Draco drew us a picture."

Remus unrolled the scroll slowly. It was a picture of Draco, Cassius, identifiable by his green eyes and long black coat, and another person with blond hair.

"Who's the third person?"

"You." Cassius smiled.

"Me?" Remus was surprised.

"Well, he doesn't know what you look like and I guess he figured since his father married someone with blond hair, my 'friend' would have blond hair too." '

"Your friend?" Remus smiled

"What's wrong with telling Draco I live with a friend?" Cassius' face started to turn pink.

"Nothing, nothing." Remus tried to stop smiling. 

"You are my friend, it's not lying." Cassius' face turned pinker.

"True." Remus tried to look serious.

"I suppose I could have said there's this man I live with and we fuck all the time."

"We don't fuck all the time." Remus laughed.

"Most of the time, then." Cassius started to walk towards Remus who was still laughing.

"Hmm…most of the time would be more accurate." Cassius sat down on Remus' lap. "Uff. You're heavy."

"I love you."

"Is that as a friend? Or as someone who fucks me most of the time." Remus couldn't resist teasing.

"Both." Cassius grinned before leaning in and kissing him. Remus circled his arms around Cassius and pulled him in tightly.

"I love you too."


	10. Answers

Chapter 10 - Answers

It took Cassius almost two years and the death of his father to get the courage to go to Hogwarts to research about his mother.  He sat in the library staring at the records book that told him her full name. Emma Alice Maguire.  He got up and walked over to Madam Pince. 

"Do you remember anything about Emma Maguire?" He asked, feeling relieved when his voice came out calm.

"She was an excellent student – Ravenclaw, of course. She was a seeker on the house Quidditch team and Head Girl. She was wonderful witch, one of my favorites." Madam Pince smiled, then looked sad. "I lost touch with Emma after she graduated…then…her body was found almost five years later…here on the grounds of Hogwarts."

"What happened?"

"No one knows for sure, but it seems like she drowned - intentionally, there were stones in the pockets of her robes. And her wand was broken, left on the shore of the lake." The librarian's eyes filled with tears.

"I'm her son." The words jumped out of his mouth before he could stop them. Cassius' voice sounded hoarse to his own ears. Madam Pince was the first person outside of his family to hear the truth about his mother. She gasped and then looked at him for a long moment. She nodded suddenly.

"Then I have something for you. She gave it to me…a few days before they found her body." Madam Pince turned quickly and went to her desk, opening a drawer.

~~

"Here." Cassius put a photograph on the kitchen table in front of Remus and sat down next to him.

"Who is this?" Remus picked up the photo, looking at the young girl waving at him.

"My mother." Cassius answered coolly. "It was in the records room at Hogwarts, it was taken during her seventh year."

"She's beautiful." Remus looked closer at the girl in Ravenclaw Quidditch robes. She had wavy hair that just touched her shoulders, it was the color of warm honey. There was a sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her green eyes twinkled with merriment. It was a friendly face, full of life and beauty.

"Do you think I look like her?" Cassius was staring down at his hands. Remus looked at the picture for a long time then over at Cassius who was now chewing on his fingers.

"I think you do."

"Just the eyes, though?" Cassius started chewing harder.

"Not just the eyes…your jaw is a bit like hers." Remus looked down at the picture again. "And your smile, your smiles are similar."

"Mm." 

"Cassius, stop. You're making yourself bleed." Remus reached out to tug on Cassius' arm pulling Cassius' hand loose. He gently took hold of Cassius' hand. The fingertips were bleeding where Cassius' sharp teeth had torn at them.

"Madam Pince had a letter for me." Cassius started to lift his other hand to his mouth but stopped when Remus coughed deliberately.

"Really?  Did you forget to return a book?" Remus smiled slightly, pulled Cassius' wand out of his pocket and did a quick healing spell on Cassius' hand.

"No – it's from my mother. She left it for me, she said if her son came looking for information, the letter was to be given to him."

Remus was amazed that Emma left behind a suicide note for her son. 

"What does the letter say?"

"I don't know." Cassius answered flatly.  "I haven't opened it."

"Why not?"

"I….I….what do you think she'll say in it?" Cassius looked at Remus for the first time since he'd come home. His eyes were full of tears. Remus felt a sharp pain – he hoped Emma could not hurt Cassius from the grave. What could be contained in the letter? He hoped something good – something she had wanted to hide from Julius Malfoy.

"I don't know. Why don't you read it and find out?" Remus said gently.

"Could you read it first?" Cassius pulled the envelope from his jacket pocket and held it towards Remus. Remus took the envelope and held it. He took a deep breath. 

"We'll read it together. Hang your coat up, I'll get some tea." Remus put the letter down on the table and got up to put the kettle on. Cassius pulled off his coat and walked into the mudroom to hang it up. As he walked back into the kitchen, he pulled off his sweater revealing a white t-shirt underneath. Remus poured the hot water into the tea kettle, put it and some cups on a tray along with some scones and walked into the sitting room. Cassius followed behind him holding the letter in his hand like it was delicate glass. Remus set the tray on the table next to his chair.

"Sit." Remus gestured to the chair. Cassius sat and Remus settled on his lap. He took Cassius' face in his hands. "Look at me - I love you. You are a wonderful man, a fantastic auror, a great friend, and the best husband anyone could have. _Nothing_ in this letter will change that. You understand me?"

Cassius nodded silently.

"_You_ read it, please." Cassius thrust the envelope towards Remus. Remus opened the old envelope gingerly and slid the letter out. Cassius buried his head in Remus' neck. Remus took a deep breath and started reading aloud:

_My dearest darling Cassius,_

Remus felt Cassius' body tense and his arms tightened so that Remus could hardly breathe.

_If you have found this letter it means I am dead. I am leaving tonight to find a safe place for us, then I will come back to get you. But if you are reading this – I never came back. I don't know what your father will have told you about me… Please never think that I didn't love you, for I did. I felt love for you the moment I felt you move in my body. The first moment I held you was the happiest of my life. I love your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your voice, I love everything about you. You are the reason I have struggled to overcome the Imperious curse, you are my only reason for fighting, for living._

_I am sorry this letter is not longer – I have so many things I want to tell you in case I fail -  but my time is growing short. I must leave now, while your father is away. _

_I don't know what kind of life you have had, but I hope that you have found love. I hope you found someone who knows your true worth. You deserve nothing less._

_I am enclosing a picture of us on your third birthday, just a few weeks ago. Lucius took the picture. _

_I love you so much, my precious son, I pray I will see you soon._

_Mummy _

Remus finished reading the letter in a whisper, feeling a lump in his throat. He pulled the photo out of the envelope. There was three year old Cassius, his hair in wild silver blond curls, sitting on his mother's lap, smiling. Emma was holding one of his hands in hers, waving it at the camera. She would kiss the top of his head, then his cheek. The little boy would laugh. His other fist was twined in his mother's shiny, waist length, brown hair.  Their matching green eyes were shining with love. Cassius' hand came up slowly and took the picture from Remus. 

"She loved me." Cassius sounded astonished and bewildered as he looked at the picture.

"And she was going to come back for you. She didn't kill herself." Remus felt such relief at the revelation he almost was dizzy.

"He must have found her…" 

"He must have." Remus felt a familiar anger at Julius Malfoy, he was glad the dark wizard was dead. "And he lied to you…it wasn't because she hated you. She tried to escape and she wanted to take you with her."

"She loved me." A smile lit up Cassius' face. Remus smiled back, he could feel some of Cassius' sadness leave him.

"She did love you, very much." Remus put his arms around his mate.

"Thank you for reading it."

"You're welcome."

"I did find love, didn't I?" Cassius looked into Remus' amber eyes.

"Yes, you did. I love you very much." Remus leaned closer and rubbed his nose against Cassius' before kissing him.


	11. Three Scenes

Author's Notes: It seems I am about halfway through my storyline so never fear, the adventures of Remus and Cassius will be continuing for a while! :-) 

Chapter 11 – Three Scenes

A few days before Halloween there was a rash of banshee sightings in Ireland. Kingsley had owled that Cassius needed to leave the next day to capture the banshee before any muggles were harmed. Remus was nervous about Cassius going because it meant he would have to perform a Patronus charm which Cassius couldn't do.  And Halloween was the anniversary of James and Lily's death and Sirius' betrayal which always meant that Remus was on edge. Remus fiddled with some papers on his desk. He'd been doing a special research project for Moody the past few weeks. Since his retirement, Moody had been able to become the powerful shadow Head Auror, but occasionally needed help to find out information on current activities within the department and the ministry. Moody would give Remus papers from the senior aurors and then Remus would compare and find the patterns within them. Moody paid Remus for the work so Remus was glad to do it. And it also gave him a challenge and something to do while Cassius was at work. 

"But…you can't do a Patronus charm. " Remus' voice had a distinctly worried tone to it.

"Yes, I can." Cassius looked up from where he was adjusting the picture of his mother and him above his desk. Remus had found a lovely frame for it. 

"Since when?" Remus whirled around.

"Since I caught The Banshee Moira…a few years ago - right after you turned 27. I'd been tracking her for 2 days and then she turned on me, shrieking, and I did a Patronus so I could drive her far enough away to stun her."

"You didn't tell me that!" Remus was astounded.

"Yes, I did."

"I'm sure I'd remember that."

"Well…I meant to tell you. I must have forgotten to tell you when I got home." Cassius walked over to Remus and gathered him into his arms. "Are you proud of me?"

"Yes." Remus gave his mate a slow kiss. "So…your patronus…what was it?" 

"A…a wolf." Cassius flushed slightly.

"Really?" Remus smiled lovingly at his mate.

"Uh huh…can't imagine why." Cassius grinned back.

"And you had a memory that was happy enough to produce it?" Remus knew that had been the main stumbling block for Cassius doing a Patronus during auror training.

"Well…I thought about fucking you."

"Oh!" Remus felt shocked.

"Can't I think about sex when I do a charm? Is that something Flitwick would have mentioned because I don't remember a lot of his lectures." Cassius looked very earnest.

"No…I mean, yes, you can think about sex when you do a charm…I just…" Remus felt his face get hot.

"Oh, you're such a prude sometimes." Cassius laughed.

"I am not." Remus protested, although he knew it was true. 

"Then have sex with me now, right here."

"We're in the library!" Remus' eyes grew wide.

"Of our house." Cassius stated matter of factly.

Remus searched for another excuse. "It's the middle of the day."

"So?" Cassius didn't look concerned.

"Tabby's…"

"Out visiting an old friend, you know that."

"She's due back for dinner." 

"In four hours."

"Oh…"

"My desk or yours?"

"I…" Remus could feel his face flaming.

"Mine then. I don't care if the papers get messed up." Before Remus could respond, Cassius moved back over to his desk and swept the papers, books and scrolls onto the floor. "There." Cassius reached out and grabbed Remus' waist. He swiftly lifted Remus and set him on top of his desk. "Now. Take your sweater off."

"I…" Remus looked past Cassius, the sun was streaming in the window. He suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. They had been mated almost 6 years now but Remus still wasn't that comfortable being naked in front of Cassius – not unless it was dark or he was already in a haze of desire.

"Come on, lovely wife of mine." Cassius teased lightly before taking off his own t-shirt. He unbuttoned the button on his jeans. "Remus, I can't have sex with you if you have your clothes on." Cassius gave him a quick kiss. "Please?"

Remus forced his hands to move and pulled off his sweater and shirt at the same time. He held the clothes in his hands for a moment and then looked up into Cassius' eyes. They were already dilated with desire. Remus suddenly felt breathless. He threw the clothes to the floor and wrapped his arms around Cassius.

"I love you." He said fervently before pressing his lips to Cassius'. There was a muffled groan in reply as Cassius pulled Remus tightly to him. Their tongues twined together. Remus felt hands at his waistband, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. Remus pulled himself slightly off the table so Cassius could pull off the rest of his clothes.  Cassius tore his mouth away from Remus'. 

"I love you." Cassius' eyes glided over Remus' body. "You're so beautiful." His fingers stroked over the bite mark on Remus' shoulder. Remus drew in a sharp breath as a jolt of arousal ran through his body.

~~

"Happy Christmas." Cassius whispered into Remus' ear before kissing his neck.

"Mmm…" Remus snuggled into his mate's warmth. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. "When did you get home?"

"Just now."

"Oh, sweetheart. I missed you. Happy belated birthday" Cassius had been gone for several days and missed celebrating his 28th birthday at home as well as their 6th anniversary. "And happy anniversary."

"Damn dark wizards never take a holiday." Cassius tightened his arms around Remus. 

"Did you find him?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"He resisted being taken in. He's dead." Cassius answered in a smooth cool voice. 

"Did he hurt you?" Remus asked with concern. Cassius hated going to Saint Mungo's Hospital and often came home injured rather than going there.

"Just a bit."

"Let me see." Remus sat up quickly and lit the lamp next to the bed. Cassius always downplayed his injuries, so 'just a bit' was likely to be more than that. He turned and started unbuttoning Cassius' coat which he was still wearing.

"I missed you." Cassius' long fingers traced Remus' jaw.

"I missed you too." Remus let out a gasp as he saw the blood soaked shirt underneath Cassius' coat. "What happened?"

"He hexed me – can't remember what one he used. Hurts like hell though." Remus grabbed his wand and accioed the jar of healing salve from the bathroom cabinet. Cassius' fingers traced down the buttons of Remus' pajama top. "Where's my birthday present?"

"Downstairs…on the piano." Remus answered absently as he tore open Cassius' shirt revealing a nasty looking diagonal gash across his chest.  He waved his wand over it, there wasn't any internal bleeding, it seemed to be superficial – Cassius must have blocked the hex before it could do its worst.

"And my anniversary present?" Cassius slipped his hands around Remus' waist.

"Next to your birthday present." Remus smoothed the salve over the gash watching closely as the gash disappeared.

"Can I open them now?"

"No." Remus did a quick cleaning charm to get rid of the blood on Cassius' chest.

"Why not?"

"Because you're busy." Remus turned off the lamp before unbuttoning his pajama top and slipping out of his pajama pants.

"Doing what?" Remus could hear the smile in Cassius' voice.

"Giving me my anniversary present." Remus unbuttoned Cassius' pants and pulled down the zipper. 

"Really? Rather hard to do that now since I hid it in the pantry." 

"Then consider this my second anniversary present." Remus said, straddling his mate.

An hour late, Remus laid on top of Cassius, listening to his heartbeat. 

"Now can I open my presents?" Cassius stroked Remus' back.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because now you have to snuggle with me."

"How long do I need to snuggle with you?" Cassius shifted his legs so that Remus laid between them.

"Till I say so." Remus tightened his arms around Cassius.

"I love you."

"I love you too…and you're still snuggling."

"Remus…" Cassius pulled Remus up his body so they were nose to nose. "I love you." He kissed Remus slowly. "My wife."

"Still snuggling." Remus said breathlessly when Cassius had broken the kiss.

"If I can't open my presents now…could we have another go?" 

~~

Around the Spring Solstice,  Cassius took the day of Remus' transformation to visit the Ministry Records to see if he could find any living relatives of his mother's.  Remus had been bugging him about it, not letting him forget. After checking in with the head record keeper he went back into the archives. A moment later he had a large book of family trees in front of him, Maguire was referenced in over 20 of them. He is looking at the Potter Family tree, when he spotted the Maguire last name. 

Lily Maguire Evans married James Potter. He flipped back to the Maguire family tree – there it was. Eleanor Maguire, his mother's sister, had married Harry Evans, a muggle. They had two daughters, Lily and Petunia. He had seen their names but hadn't immediately made the connection to Lily Potter… he had been at school with Lily although he didn't remember her from those years at all. He only knew her as part of 'James and Lily Potter,' the two close friends of Remus who had died during the dark times. And she was his cousin! The footnote stated that Eleanor was a squib. He looked back at the Potter family tree, at the name of Lily's child…he drew in a sharp breath. He is related to Harry Potter! Harry Potter!! Remus' best friend James' son! What would Remus say? 

He quickly scanned the other family trees. There were no other living relatives of his mother. He walked slowly to Diagon Alley where he was meeting Stevens for lunch.  He walked into the Dusty Cauldron and spotted Stevens in a booth in a corner. He quickly did a silencing spell around their table and told Stevens his news.

"Small world, that. You being related to one of Remus' best friends." Stevens looked surprised.

"Yeah…I was thinking…that I wouldn't tell him. It'd just remind him of the murders…" Cassius started to chew his fingers.

"Well…you know him best. Would he really be that upset?" Stevens looked at Cassius. "Cassie. Stop." Cassius stopped chewing and put his hands in his lap.

"He always gets upset when they're mentioned…all of them, James, Lily, Sirius, Peter…Harry would just remind him."

"Just because things upset people doesn't mean they should be avoided. We've talked about that a thousand times. Just because you avoid talking about things that upset you doesn't mean other people don't like to discuss them."

"I know." Cassius muttered.

"So, you won't be telling him, then." Stevens arched an eyebrow at Cassius.

"It's not like I would ever tell Harry Potter that I'm related. What would I say? 'Hello, my father raped your mother's aunt and most probably killed her. How are you?' It's ludicrous."

"Mmm." Stevens looked down at his menu.

"And I'm a Malfoy - Harry scorned Draco right away, first day of school, the minute he heard who he was. So…he wouldn't want to be related to me."

"You're not a typical Malfoy." Stevens set his menu down. Cassius always wondered why Stevens even looked at the menu, he always got the same thing. 

"But…"

"Look…I'm not going to tell you what to do…you're old enough, or so you tell me. But I will _strongly_ recommend you tell Remus this news." Cassius was silent. "It'll save you a fight later. Mark my words."

"All right." 

"So…did I tell you Portia dumped me?"

"Portia?  I thought you were dating Elspeth." Cassius sometimes had a hard time keeping track of Stevens' women, but he'd thought he was doing well lately.

"Oh…Elspeth, yes, well, no…she started dating Gordon, the seeker, a week ago."

"A week ago? Did you owl me about that?"

"Maybe not – I was on the road when it happened, some long Quidditch games." Stevens wasn't the best correspondent when he was on the road with his team.

"So when did you start dating Portia."

"Next day. And don't go all prudish on me. Back in the day, you didn't even let the body get dressed before moving on."

Cassius blushed. "Well…it's different now."


	12. Untitled

Disclaimer (haven't done one in a while so I thought I should): I own nothing related to Harry Potter. I own the characters of Cassius Malfoy, Tabby, Stevens and Aspasia and Gandalf Godwin. I also made up the traits of the werewolf mating as it is described in this story. Anne Perry is an actual author who writes really cool mysteries. I recommend her! :-)

**Chapter 12 Untitled** (I can't think of anything!)

"Remus, I was thinking." Cassius crawled into bed next to his mate, he'd just been through the house checking all the wards to make sure everything was safe and secure. He did it every night that he was home.

"About what?" Remus looked up from his book, he was reading a mystery by the muggle author Anne Perry.

"Could I get a magic eye, like Moody has?" Cassius looked like a child asking his parent if he could have a puppy.

"What? No!" Remus was stunned by the request.

"Why not?"

"Because! Because…both your eyes are fine."

"But a magic eye would be better!"

"No!"

"Come on!" Cassius wheedled, batting his eyelashes for good measure.

"No! Absolutely not!" Remus shook his head.

"You're so mean." Cassius pouted. "Think of how it would help me at work. Especially now that we _know_ Voldemort is still kicking around somewhere."

Remus thought about that. It was true, Voldemort had revealed himself to Harry Potter just a week ago. He had been seeking the Philosopher's Stone to return him to his former strength. Apparently, as much as they'd all hoped, he hadn't been killed ten years ago. Moody had never thought he had been, but Remus had hoped it was so. He had heard from Dumbledore that Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort again, keeping him from the stone. Lily and James would be so proud of their son. When they had all graduated, they had joined the Order, fighting against Voldemort. He remembered those dark days, after all the fun they had had at Hogwarts.

Remus shuddered as he thought of Quirrell, a fellow student, who had been possessed by Voldemort. At least he was at peace now, free of Voldemort's control. Remus looked over at Cassius who was looking at him expectantly. He realized his mind had been wandering. "You don't need one. You're already the best auror in the department."

"But I could be _better_."

"Moody only got his because a dark witch damaged his eye, ask him if he would have gotten one voluntarily."

"I did and he said he would have."

Damn Moody – _of course_, he would have. "No." Remus repeated for the fourth time.

"For my birthday? Please?" Cassius' fingers trailed down Remus' arm.

"Your birthday isn't for 8 months." Remus stalled while trying to think of another reason that Cassius couldn't get a magic eye.

"But they need a lot of lead time to get the eye ready."

"No."

"Please?" Cassius pleaded and slipped his hand under the waistline of Remus' pants. Remus gasped as Cassius' fingers enclosed him. Sometimes, Remus thought, Cassius didn't play fair. He tried to keep focused on the conversation in spite of the feelings Cassius' fingers were drawing out of him.

"No. I love your eyes, I don't want you to get a magic one, you don't need it. I love you just the way you are." He said, a bit breathlessly.

"What if something _happened_ to one of my eyes, would you still love me then?" Cassius asked quickly.

Remus sighed as Cassius' fingers tightened a little around him. "Of course, I would, just…oh…mmm…Moody's eye always creeps me out a little." Remus said hurriedly before he could lose his thought.

"Oh…" Cassius' hand stilled. "Like, creeps you out in a bad way?"

"Yes." Remus said emphatically.

"Then I won't get one." Cassius replied seriously.

"Good." Remus put his bookmark in place and set his book on his bedside table. "I'm glad." He put his arms around Cassius.

* * *

"Finally, you're home!" Tabby turned around from where she was standing at the kitchen counter. She scowled at Cassius.

"I always get home around now." Cassius brushed the soot off his coat before taking it off. He'd had a long day at the Ministry, there'd been a department meeting all morning, then he'd had to teach some auror training classes while the usual trainer recovered from a hex performed by a novice auror.

"No, you don't. You're an hour late."

"Am I?" Cassius looked over at the clock on the wall. It was 7 o'clock, time for dinner.

"We're eating in the dining room." Tabby informed him curtly. Remus walked into the kitchen a moment later.

"You're home!" He rushed over and threw his arms around his mate.

"Have I been gone a week and forgotten about it? You're never this happy to see me." Cassius nuzzled at Remus' neck. Remus smelled like lavender, Cassius took a deep breath, feeling a rush of love for his mate. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have found Remus.

"I…I'm always happy to see you." Remus laughed. "Just today…it's been an exciting day."

"What happened?"

"I'll tell you over dinner." Remus smiled.

"Why are we eating in the dining room?" Cassius asked as Remus dragged him out of the kitchen.

"It's…because it's the Summer Solstice." Remus wouldn't meet his gaze as they sat down.

"Do we always eat in the dining room on solstices?" Cassius didn't remember solstices being a big deal…other than the winter solstice which was also their anniversary.

"No." Remus said, smiling shyly. Cassius suddenly got the urge to kiss him, but Tabby stopped him as she walked into the room with the pan of lasagna. She placed it on the table and quickly served them each a large piece.

"So…why are we eating in the dining room _and_ having Remus' favorite meal?" Cassius asked. "What happened?"

"I…well…I wanted to wait until we had dessert." Remus stuttered, his face turning pink. "So…how was your day?"

"Fudge called a meeting of all the aurors. Our top priority now is finding Voldemort, but I don't know…a lot of the senior aurors have always thought he was alive and have been looking for him and they hadn't found him all those years…I don't think we'll find him now." Cassius shook his head.

"What does Moody think?" Remus asked, knowing that Moody would already know of the meeting and what happened.

"I don't know…I had to take over training after Smythe got hexed accidentally so I couldn't have lunch with Moody."

"Smythe still runs training sessions?" Tabby asked, she had known Smythe when she had been an auror.

"He was planning on retiring this year. I think he might decide to retire now." Cassius smiled. Smythe was a small, elderly wizard who had been an auror for 80 years. He was still very powerful, but a little batty in Cassius' opinion. The rest of dinner passed with Tabby and Cassius telling Remus stories about Smythe.

* * *

"Now…is it time for dessert?" Cassius asked, wanting to know what the news was that would be revealed.

"Yes." Tabby stood and waved her wand. A cake appeared on the table. On top of the cake were the words 'Congratulations, Remus.'

"I got a job!" Remus blurted out, a grin brightening up his thin face.

"What? Where? You didn't tell me you'd applied for a job?" Cassius was surprised and excited for Remus, he knew that Remus wanted a job so he felt he was making a difference.

"In the Ludicrous Patents Office at the Ministry! The department head knows I'm a werewolf but she's willing to overlook it as long as I'm able to do the job." Remus said happily.

"Who's the department head?" Cassius asked curiously, he didn't really know anything about the Ludicrous Patents Office.

"Aspasia Godwin."

"Aspasia? She's nice." Cassius had met her a few times.

"You know her?" Remus looked surprised.

"Gandalf Godwin is a Senior Auror, he's been in the department thirty years, used to be Moody's partner." Cassius explained. "Aspasia has come to some of the department get-togethers. Tabby knows them too, don't you?"

Tabby nodded. Once again, Cassius noticed that Tabby hardly ever talked about when she was an auror. He knew she had worked with Moody and Godwin, but she would get snappish when those times were brought up. He knew she had turned her back on being an auror, and often chose to not use magic when cooking or traveling.

"Do you think Moody had anything to do with me getting the job?" Remus asked Cassius.

"Does it matter?" Cassius shrugged as Tabby handed him a piece of cake.

"No, I wouldn't care if Moody slept with her if it meant I have steady work." Remus smiled as Cassius made a face at the image he conjured up. Tabby made a strangled cough that turned into a laugh as soon as she had swallowed her blackberry juice. "I haven't had that for ages."

"You haven't needed steady work." Cassius said calmly.

"I know – I know, but I don't want you to _have_ to support me." Remus said quickly, a bit defensively, as he picked his fork up and took a bite of his cake.

"Remus…" Cassius tried to interrupt.

"I know you have the money, I just…it means a lot to me to be able to contribute to our life." Remus looked down at his cake. "It's important to me." He said quietly.

"I know it is." Cassius smiled. "So, now you're working, I could take early retirement."

"Don't joke." Remus glared at him.

"I'm not joking. Sweetheart, I am really happy for you, that you have a job, that you can make money that is yours. But, don't for a moment think I resent the fact that you haven't had a job for a while."

"For practically the whole time we've been married." Remus tried to keep the sullen note from his voice. He tried to find a steady job since his graduation from Hogwarts but after a while, they would figure out he was a werewolf, or tell him he had used too many sick days, and fire him. Moody's research projects only happened occasionally and lasted just a few weeks at a time.

"Whatever." Cassius waved his hand dismissively. "I don't care, we've been able to afford it, haven't we?"

"Yes." Cassius had inherited a large fortune when he turned 18. The Malfoys were one of the richest wizarding families.

"When do you start?" Cassius tried to change the topic.

"Tomorrow." Remus answered. "I'm a little nervous…"

"You'll be fine." Tabby said soothingly since Cassius' mouth was full. "So, you'll need your rest tonight for your big first day." Tabby looked pointedly at Cassius.

"That's right. We better go to bed now." Cassius smiled slyly at Remus who blushed.


	13. A Year in the Life Part One

Author's Note: This chapter and the next are going to span a year, more or less. Some of it will take place concurrent with the events of Book Two (Chamber of Secrets). It's just a series of scenes. Enjoy!

Chapter 13 - A Year in the Life – Part One

Remus had been working for two weeks when he ran into Cassius in the lift at the Ministry. He and Aspasia were going to a meeting with the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department. Aspasia greeted Cassius and introduced him to Remus. Cassius nodded coolly but didn't speak or extend his hand in greeting. Remus could barely contain the urge to throw himself at his mate, but Cassius didn't seem affected at all.

"We've met, actually." Remus said with a smile. Cassius raised an eyebrow but didn't speak. "At Alastor Moody's, years ago, I think you were still training to be an auror."

Cassius didn't say a word in reply. Remus felt the vague urge to kick him to see if that would get a response.

After Cassius got off the lift a few floors later, Aspasia turned to Remus. "Don't be insulted, dear, he never shakes anyone's hand…hardly talks either."

"Really?" Remus asked, curious to know more about how his mate acted at work. "You know him well?"

"No, not well…As you know, Gandalf is an auror, so I've been to the department parties every year for the past…oh…27 years. Of course, Auror Malfoy's only been an auror for…let me think…eight years, plus three years in training. But I think in all that time the only words he's ever said to me are 'nice to meet you' and 'excuse me.'"

"That's it?" Remus looked surprised. The auror department had two parties a year, one at Halloween and the other in January for Moody's birthday. The Christmas party had slowly been moved back every year until it had happened on the same day as Moody's birthday about 15 years ago.

"He only said excuse me because I was standing in his way, he was trying to get to the door to leave. You can't Apparate in or out of the location of department parties. I rather got the impression he was anxious to get home." Aspasia leaned closer, "He has a lover hidden away somewhere."

"Oh?" Remus didn't have to pretend to be interested. "Who is it?"

"No one knows who." Aspasia shrugged. "It's a rumor, of course. He's never admitted he has one, but I think it must be true, as handsome as he is. And Sam says he was quite popular at school, they were in the same year." Sam was Aspasia's son who worked at Saint Mungo's as a healer. "Lucky wizard, if you ask me. Gandalf's quite fond of him, and I know Alastor thinks of him as a son. Malfoy must be a fine wizard to have their good opinions."

"He must be." Remus nodded. Aspasia thought very highly of her husband and Moody.

"Many people thought it was an act, when he joined the department, couldn't believe a Malfoy would really want to be an auror. He proved them all wrong. Best auror in over a century, except Gandalf and Alastor, of course." Aspasia smiled. "Ah, here's our floor at last."

* * *

Remus had barely gotten home when he was engulfed in a crushing hug.

"You speaking to me now?" Remus asked in a teasing tone.

"I'm never riding the lift at work again. That was horrible." Cassius nuzzled his neck.

"Horrible?"

"I was hard all afternoon." Cassius kissed him until Remus was breathless. When Remus had pulled away to get a breath he noticed they were in their bedroom. Remus pulled off Cassius' shirt.

"Were you really? Maybe we could arrange afternoon trysts in the broom closet on the 5th floor." Remus smiled up at Cassius.

"Don't tease me." Cassius picked up Remus and threw him on the bed.

* * *

For Remus' 32rd birthday in August, Aspasia took him out to lunch on Diagon Alley. They were enjoying their main course when Remus noticed Cassius' scent.

"Aspasia, lovely to see you." Kingsley smiled. Cassius stood next to him – not smiling.

"Kingsley! I thought they were keeping you too busy to enjoy lunches out of the office." Aspasia said with a smile. "Do you know Remus Lupin? It's his birthday today."

"Aspasia…" Remus felt himself blushing, she was telling everyone that it was his birthday. He hadn't had such a fuss made over him since he had turned 17 and his mother had told _everyone_ they had seen that day.

"Happy birthday! It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you, from Alastor Moody." Kingsley said as he shook Remus' hand, letting his hand linger on Remus'. Remus felt himself blush more, neither Moody nor Cassius had mentioned how handsome Kingsley was. He glanced at Cassius and noticed one of Cassius' hands flex before being shoved into his pocket.

"I've heard about you as well. Moody thinks very highly of you." Remus had heard about Kingsley from both Moody and Cassius for years.

"Nice to hear that, it's hard to tell with him. I can't believe you and I haven't met before. Does Aspasia keep you hidden?" Kingsley pulled out a chair and sat down.

"Oh, I've only worked at the Ministry a couple months." Remus said quickly.

"I'm sure you're an asset to the department, isn't he, Aspasia?" Kingsley smiled over at her.

"That he is." She nodded her head emphatically.

"Cass, sit down." Kingsley gestured to the chair on the other side of Remus. "We have time."

"I have to finish a report." Cassius said in a cool voice, looking at Kingsley.

"What report?" Kingsley asked, giving Remus a sly wink that Aspasia couldn't see. Cassius didn't answer and just walked off. "Hmm…I suppose I need to get back to the office as well. The senior aurors are meeting with Fudge in less than an hour. Must be prepared."

"Well, it was lovely to see you, Kingsley." Aspasia said. "I'll see you at the Halloween party."

"Absolutely. And I'm glad I got to meet you, Remus." Kingsley stood, "Sorry, I couldn't stay for the cake."

* * *

"How was your day?" Remus asked as he set the table. Tabby had cooked his birthday meal and then retired to her room.

"Fine." Cassius muttered.

"What happened?"

"Kingsley flirted with you!" Cassius burst out as he set the carafe of raspberry cordial on the table with a loud thump. "And you blushed!"

"Well…I…I didn't mean to." Remus felt his face getting hot again. "You never said how handsome he was."

"What?" Cassius glared over at him and Remus knew that wasn't the right thing to have said.

"I think I was blushing most of the day. Aspasia was telling everyone it was my birthday."

"He teased me about you all afternoon." Cassius growled as he sat down.

"Did he?" Remus tried not to smile.

"Asking me if I thought you were single, if I thought you'd go out with him, how he thought he might not be straight after all."

"I'm sorry." Remus laughed as he leaned down to kiss Cassius' cheek.

"It's not funny. Now he's met you, he'll be doing it all the time. He'll try to bump into you so he can tell me about it."

"You could have flirted with me too." Remus said with a smile as he served them both the pasta salad Tabby had made.

"I can't flirt with you." Cassius picked up his fork as Remus set the plate in front of him

"Why not?" Remus sat down across from his mate.

"Because…" Cassius trailed off and started to eat.

"Because why?" Remus prompted.

"I…it's…it's hard to talk to you." Cassius mumbled. "When I can't touch you."

"Really?"

"I know I was rude today, you just…I couldn't."

"Couldn't what?" Remus asked after a moment. Cassius pushed his plate across the table and got up, sitting down next to Remus. "Couldn't what?" Remus bumped his shoulder against his mate's.

"I couldn't sit next to you without doing this." Cassius circled Remus with both his arms and kissed him.

"Oh." Remus said when he had gotten his breath back.

* * *

Remus had had to work late and when he arrived in the kitchen he saw Stevens and Cassius sitting at the table eating.

"I'm telling you, Cassie, you have no idea what it's like to date a woman." Stevens shook his head as he took a bite of salad.

"What's she done now?" Cassius asked as Remus walked over and sat down, quickly serving himself some food. Cassius leaned over and kissed Remus on the cheek, whispering in his ear "I missed you."

"Well, for starters, she says I flirt with other witches constantly. She's insanely jealous."

"You _do_ flirt with other witches constantly." Cassius tilted his head at Stevens.

"You're my best friend, remember?" Stevens glared at Cassius.

"That bitch!" Cassius said calmly.

"That's right! And she's completely balmy. She says I never give her flowers anymore. I never _did_ give her flowers. I think it's that time of the month, really."

"It's not the full moon." Cassius looked confused. Remus almost choked on his bite of potato as he fought to keep from laughing. Thanks to his friendship with Lily, he knew all about PMS.

"No…you know…the _female_ time of the month." Stevens sighed as Cassius looked more bewildered. "I thought Luke gave you the whole sex talk?"

"He gave me a book, I just skipped to the interesting parts." Cassius shrugged, then he leaned forward. "So what's this female time of the month? Do they change?"

"Change into irrational creatures who are wicked cranky when crossed, they do." Stevens made a face.

"And _I_ don't know anything about that?" Cassius asked slowly.

"Uh uh." Stevens shook his head emphatically.

"Remus is a _werewolf_."

"So?" Stevens asked with a shrug. Remus was warmed by the gesture.

"So, every month, the day before the full moon, he turns into an irrational creature who gets wicked cranky."

"You do?" Stevens looked over at Remus with an interested expression.

"Mmm." Remus nodded, his mouth full. He hadn't eaten since lunch and was famished. He swallowed quickly. "Although I don't think I'm _that_ irrational…and Cassius gets crankier than I do when he hasn't slept well." Remus added a tad defensively.

"Boy, does he ever… So I guess you know what it's like too, then." Stevens smiled at Remus.

* * *

Remus wandered down to the sitting room. It was past midnight, but he couldn't sleep. Cassius had been gone for five days, and he hadn't had any news about him. It was a couple weeks from Halloween. Remus always started to get anxious around Halloween, remembering the deaths of his friends. He pulled a photo album from the shelf and began to look through it. There were happy pictures of James and Lily on their wedding day, a picture of them with Harry. He'd sent copies to Hagrid when Hagrid had owled to request them. Harry hadn't had any pictures of his parents.

Earlier that day he had tried to reach out with the strength of the werewolf bond, trying to sense if anything had happened to Cassius. Kingsley hadn't heard from him in three days, which wasn't a good sign. Cassius had been sent to where Voldemort was rumored to be. Remus hoped he hadn't been caught or killed. He heard someone Apparate upstairs. It could only be Cassius, the wards on Windy Corner prevented anyone else from Apparating over at this time of night. He closed the album quickly, setting it next to him on the couch. He stood up and turned around, a moment later he was crushed against Cassius' chest. He could feel his mate's heart pounding rapidly.

"Merlin's beard, I thought…." Cassius kissed Remus passionately. Remus laughed as Cassius' stubble tickled his neck and face.

"I couldn't sleep." Remus kissed him back. "I was worried about you."

"Sorry, I had to be in deep cover, couldn't owl."

"So long as you're all right." Remus looked at his mate closely. "What's wrong with your nose?"

"Broken, I should think." Cassius leaned forward for another kiss.

"Broken!" Remus immediately started to lead Cassius into the kitchen. He picked up his wand from the hall table and waved it at the lanterns in the kitchen, it was bright the next moment. He pushed Cassius onto the bench at the kitchen table. "My…what happened?" Cassius' nose was definitely broken, the long line of it was crooked and there was dried blood around his nostrils.

"I got punched." Cassius shrugged.

"Punched." Remus smoothed his fingers gently down his mate's nose, Cassius didn't wince.

"I got his wand and then he punched me." Cassius reached for Remus, pulling him closer.

"Who's wand?"

"Uh…a dark wizard's, I can't remember his name, wanted for murdering two witches down in Bath. He's in custody now. Kingsley's questioning him."

"This might hurt." Remus said as he raised his wand. "Repare." There was a crunch as Cassius' nose straightened.

"Ouch!" Cassius rubbed his nose. "Next time say it will _definitely_ hurt."

"I'm sorry." Remus said. "Let me kiss it."

"Why?"

"Because…that's what muggles do, they kiss it and make it feel better. Lily told me that once." Remus smiled at the memory.

"Really? Does it work?" Cassius looked at him curiously.

"I don't know. But it can't hurt anything, can it?"

"I suppose not. I like it when you kiss me."

* * *

"Remus! You'll never guess what's happened!" Cassius burst into the sitting room. He didn't wait for Remus to respond. "The Chamber of Secrets was opened last night at Hogwarts! Isn't that incredible! They always said it didn't exist, that it was a legend, but Luke told me it was true, that it existed and he was right! It's opened! There was a message written in blood last night! And Filch's cat was petrified!" Cassius said breathlessly, his eyes shining with excitement.

"That's horrible!" Remus was shocked.

"I know!" Cassius looked manic. "It's amazing, isn't it!" He knelt down in front of Remus. "I might get to go investigate it. How cool would that be? The Chamber that Salazar Slytherin created! A thousand years ago! No one knows exactly where it is. But maybe I could find it! I wonder what the beast is that lives inside. Probably a snake, wouldn't you think? He was a parselmouth. Definitely a snake."

"Sweetheart…how much tea have you had today?" Remus stroked his hand through Cassius' hair.

"I don't know…." Cassius thumped Remus' knee. "A _big_ snake, what's the biggest snake in the world?"

"I have no idea." Remus said honestly, setting his report aside.

"I'll have to find out….or maybe it's a dragon…Do you think it would still be alive? After all these years? It would have to hibernate, don't you think? Otherwise Dumbledore would know of its existence. He knows everything." Cassius started to gaze off, deep in thought. His fingers drummed rapidly on Remus' thigh.

"Lucius told you about the Chamber?" Remus said calmly, his curiosity piqued in spite of himself. He laid his hand on top of Cassius' to still the restless fingers.

"Uh huh…he said it was opened 50 years ago…when Voldemort was at school." Cassius said distractedly. Remus knew he was thinking about where he could research snakes.

"Did Voldemort open it?"

"He didn't say. Luke wouldn't have asked, would he? I mean, when you're under Imperious you can't do anything of your own free will." Cassius looked up at him. "You know that, Remus."

"Of course." Remus said calmly, smiling at his mate. Cassius insisted Lucius was only a Death Eater because he was under the Imperious Curse. Remus didn't believe that, but he knew better than to argue with Cassius about it. "There's a book on magical monsters up in the library, it might have information about snakes."

"Brilliant!" Cassius leapt to his feet. "Come on!" He grabbed Remus' hand and dragged him up the stairs.

…To Be Continued!!


	14. A Year in the Life Part Two

Author's Note: Thank you to all my reviewers! You keep me going!! This chapter includes a lovely smutty scene – I hope it's still an R rating. Padfoot wrote that Cassius seemed to be getting friskier with each chapter…well, this time it's Remus' turn. I think I need more of a life – but this made me very happy. :-)

Ch 14 - A Year in the Life – Part 2

"Remus, dear, you need to go to Saint Mungo's – you don't look at all well." Aspasia fussed over him as he sat at his desk.

"No – I'll just go home…Tabby…she'll take care of me." Remus said, shivering, he was starting to feel lightheaded.. Aspasia knew that he lived with Tabby. She remembered when Tabby had worked as an auror and assumed that Tabby had taken Remus in because he was a werewolf, knowing that Tabby was a softhearted witch, in spite of her blustery exterior. Remus never corrected her assumption.

"If that's what you want." Aspasia didn't seem convinced. Remus knew Cassius would have a fit if Remus were in hospital since Cassius wouldn't be able to visit him. Tabby was very good with potions. He'd been all right if he just got home.

"I'll just go then." Remus stood up. Suddenly the world went fuzzy and he felt like he was floating. After a time, Remus felt a soft mattress underneath him and two voices seemed to be coming from far away.

"Must have caught it from Turnipseed, in Accounting. He got back from Egypt two days ago with this same thing. Gave it to half the Ministry." Aspasia was saying. "Although Remus' case is the worst."

"Remus isn't that strong…as you know." Tabby replied crisply.

"He wanted to go home but when he collapsed – well, Sam is the best healer there is – silly not to come here."

"Absolutely." Tabby said firmly. Remus struggled to open his eyes. "You're awake now? How are you feeling?" Tabby's hand rested on his forehead for a moment.

"What happened?" He whispered, his throat dry. He felt Tabby put her arm around his shoulders and lift him up so he could take a drink of water. He laid back against the pillows, still feeling like he was floating.

"You fainted, so I brought you to Saint Mungo's." Aspasia said. "Now Tabby is here, I'll be off. Get better soon, Remus. Don't worry about work."

He nodded weakly, not really comprehending what she had said. Sam, Aspasia's son, entered the curtained area a moment later. Tabby looked over at him, seeming to think something over. She waved her wand and did a silencing spell around the area.

"You're sworn to secrecy about patient information, aren't you?" She asked intently.

"Yes. I will treat any information you give me with total confidentiality." Sam answered calmly.

"Remus is a mated werewolf. Am I right in thinking that he would recover more quickly in the company of his mate?"

"You are." Sam nodded. "My mother didn't mention he – "

"It's not public knowledge. Werewolves are discriminated against, as are their mates." Tabby said curtly.

"Of course. I will not say anything, you have my word as a healer." Sam paused. "Is the mate female?"

"No." Tabby answered

"The potions he will be taking, they will heighten his…drive. I was going to caution you about it…I only ask because his mate needs to be able to control him – to some degree." Tabby nodded briskly. Sam took a step towards the curtain and turned back. "I will fill out the necessary scrolls, he'll be released within an hour. I will downplay the seriousness of this case so that no one thinks anything amiss."

"Thank you." Tabby said, turning back to Remus as Sam exited. "Just rest, dear. You'll be home soon."

* * *

Two hours later, Remus and Tabby Apparated to the front door of Windy Corner. Before they could open the door, Cassius wrenched the door open, gathering Remus into his arms.

"Careful, he's fine, don't worry." Tabby said quickly. "Cassius, you're getting blood all over him."

"Blood?" Remus asked weakly, worried but unable to summon any energy.

"Take him upstairs. I'll deal with you in a moment." Tabby said, pushing at Cassius. Cassius took the stairs two at a time.

"Where's the blood?" Remus asked again, trying to lift his head from Cassius' shoulder, but it was too heavy. He took a breath in and was flooded with the scent of Cassius. He felt a vague arousal start to course through his veins.

"It's nothing, Remus." Cassius set him down on the bed. Tabby came into the room a moment later.

"Hands." She ordered. Cassius held both his hands out to Tabby. Remus could see that the fingers were bloodied and torn, not just the tips of them but the knuckles and the whole length of them. Tabby waved her wand and the fingers were repaired.

"Here's a potion for you, Remus." Tabby held the potion to Remus' lips, supporting him with one arm. Remus could barely keep his eyes open. Tabby gently lowered him back on the bed. Remus felt Cassius' hands on him, taking his clothes off and putting his pajamas on. "He'll be…wanting you. The healer said it will help him to get better. He might get hard to handle, so be prepared. Your wand." Tabby set Cassius' wand on the nightstand. "Best course of action would be to give him what he wants."

Remus thought he heard Cassius reply. "I always do." Remus smiled to himself.

* * *

He awoke some time later, it was dark outside but the room was made bright by the firelight. He shivered and turned in Cassius' arms.

"Mmm." Cassius groaned. "Your nose is freezing."

"I'm cold." Remus nuzzled his cold face against Cassius' neck. He could feel Cassius' hands start to rub his back and one of Cassius' legs covered his hip, drawing him closer. Arousal flared. "I need you inside me." He murmured, placing kisses along Cassius' jaw.

"What?" Cassius' voice cracked in surprise. Remus had never said such a thing before.

"I need you to fuck me." Remus nipped at the tender skin on his neck. Cassius felt himself getting hard as Remus whispered desires into his ear.

"Remus, you need rest." His voice trembled as Remus licked the shell of his ear.

"I need you." Remus growled, tightening his arms around his mate. "I love you."

"I…"

"Give me what I want." Remus stroked his hand down Cassius' side.

There was a knock at the bedroom door.

"Remus needs to take another dose of his potion." Tabby called through the door.

Cassius practically jumped out of the bed, Remus watched his mate possessively as he opened the door.

"Here." Tabby handed Cassius a bottle with a glass resting on top. "He gets one of these every four hours." She handed him an alarm clock. "This will let you know when the next doses are due." She turned and walked away quickly. Cassius shut the door and walked back over to the bed. Remus unbuttoned his pajama top.

"Come back to bed, love." He demanded.

"You need this dose first." Cassius said quickly, setting down the clock and pouring some potion in the glass.

"I don't want it." Remus shook his head, he had a faint memory of how foul the potion tasted and didn't want to do it again.

"I won't get in bed if you don't." Remus struggled to sit up, Cassius had to support him. He reached out weakly and grabbed the glass, gulping it down quickly. Cassius put the glass on the bedside table and let Remus lay back against the pillows.

"Now get undressed." Remus ordered, his amber eyes glowing golden. Cassius stripped off his pajama pants and climbed back into bed next to Remus, about a foot away.

"What do you want?"

"You inside me." Remus pulled at his mate, his strength was diminished by the illness so Cassius didn't budge. "Please. I'm so cold." Cassius tilted his head, looking at Remus strangely for a moment.

"What else do you want?" His long fingers reached for Remus, pulling off his shirt and pants.

"Kiss me here." Remus pointed to his bite mark. Cassius complied without a word. "Touch me." Remus grabbed Cassius' hands, moving them onto his body, Cassius immediately started touching the places he knew Remus loved best. Remus groaned with pleasure. "Mate with me."

"I'm already going to do that." Cassius kissed Remus' mouth, then moved along his jaw, pressing kisses to it.

"No… mate with me, bite me." Remus arched upwards seeking more contact with his mate. Cassius had pulled back. Remus' skin froze where Cassius wasn't touching him and burned where their bodies met. He felt like he would go mad if Cassius didn't mate with him now. "Please!" Remus writhed on the bed. He felt drunk – like he had when he was a 7th year and James had smuggled Fire Whiskey into the dorms after final exams had ended - the world was spinning around him. He was only anchored because of Cassius. His body tingled, he could feel every nerve and every nerve ached for Cassius. He knew Cassius was aroused, he could smell it in the air. "Please, Cassius."

"You want me to bite you?" Cassius didn't look happy about that idea.

"I'll taste good, I promise." Remus whispered, trying to move Cassius to where he wanted him. "Please." He reached one hand up to his mate, pulling on the ring on his chest. Cassius took in a sharp breath and moved between Remus' legs. Remus felt like he was flying apart from the strength of his craving. Cassius was going too slow. Remus whimpered. He moved his hand down Cassius' side, trying to pull his mate's hips closer. His other hand sought out his own bite mark, trying to satiate his rising need. Remus stroked over the bite mark on his shoulder, feeling arousal jolt through his body. He watched as Cassius' eyes dilated with desire. "Please, husband." He panted.

"Remus." Cassius wrenched Remus' hand away from his shoulder and started to lick the bite mark. Remus cried out happily as he felt his whole body start to burn. He was lost in a sea of sensation as Cassius took over, moving him, controlling his limbs. He could hear a stream of words issuing from his mouth, begging, cajoling, ordering. Cassius did everything he desired.

"Now! Please! Now!" Remus pleaded. Cassius turned him over swiftly, rejoining their bodies, bringing them both to climax and biting down hard on Remus' shoulder. There was a muffled murmur and Cassius started swallowing the blood greedily. Remus suddenly thought he knew what it was like to be a vampire's victim. He shivered as Cassius licked over the bite to catch the last few drops of blood. Remus collapsed in a dreamless sleep before Cassius even rolled off of him.

For three days, Remus was delirious with the illness. As he got his strength back, he became more and more dominant, his werewolf drive asserting itself. He claimed Cassius over and over again in all sorts of ways. Remus kissed every inch of Cassius' body. Remus' mouth and hands discovered all the places that caused Cassius pleasure. Cassius' face was often flushed as Remus spoke his needs into Cassius' ear, accompanied by licks and strokes.

* * *

"Mmm." Remus stretched, rolling off of Cassius. He opened his eyes and blinked at the bright sunlight that streamed into the bedroom.

"How are you feeling?" Cassius' voice was rough with sleep.

Remus thought about it for a moment. "I feel fine. Wonderful, in fact." He turned his head and looked over at Cassius who was smiling lovingly at him.

"I'm glad." Cassius' left hand smoothed over his hair. "I was worried about you for a while there."

Remus propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at his mate. He smiled into the green eyes that had dark smudges under them. "How long have I been sick?"

"You collapsed at work four days ago."

"And you've been with me the whole time?" Remus smiled. "You look tired."

"I wonder why." Cassius said wryly, moving to put his right arm behind his head and winced slightly, but Remus caught it.

"What…" Remus leaned over and looked at Cassius' right shoulder. There were three bite marks along his collarbone. Remus looked at Cassius' left shoulder, there was a new scab healing over the mating bite mark and another bite next to it. "Did I do all that?"

"You forgot which shoulder to bite – then you forgot where exactly it was." Cassius said with a smile, "I thought _I_ had a bad memory…"

"I'm so sorry." Remus pressed a kiss to each bite, when he reached the mating bite mark he felt Cassius' shudder.

"It's all right…they didn't happen all at once."

"They…they didn't?" Remus asked.

"Uh uh." Cassius pulled Remus close. "Now that you're better, I can finally sleep. You wore me out. Insatiable, you were" Remus felt his face get hot. "Now that's a sight I haven't seen in a while. You were making _me_ blush."

"Really? Why?"

"Because of the things you said…and did. I think I'll be finding my old pensieve from the attic so I can relive the past few days – they were brilliant." Cassius grinned, causing Remus to blush more.

Notes: I hope that was ok – I had an idea and I tried very hard to get it on paper. :-)

A Year in the Life will continue into another chapter because I still have 7 months to go…and THEN Remus gets a job at Hogwarts and Sirius escapes. Cue the drama, the angst, the jealousy!!


	15. A Year in the Life Part Three

Author's Note: I'm skipping November because I decided I could. :-) So…on with the chapter.

**Chapter 15 A Year in the Life – Part 3**

Remus was riding the lift at work when two wizards got on talking excitedly.

"…last night. Lucius Malfoy was caught completely by surprise."

"And did they find anything?"

"Some poisons that are outlawed and a dark gazing ball, along with a few other things."

"So Cassius didn't tell his brother?"

"They didn't tell _Auror_ Malfoy about the raid – don't be daft. He's still a Malfoy for all his airs of hating the dark arts." The wizard spoke with scorn. Remus felt himself get angry. The lift doors opened and the wizards got off on the same floor as the auror department. Remus got off the lift too – he suddenly decided to stop by and say hello to Kingsley, or at least that would be his cover story. The two wizards headed towards the auror department and Remus followed but they just started talking about a case one was working on. He headed towards Kingsley's desk.

"Malfoy! Where'd your brother get those poisons?" A voice called out. Remus turned, trying not to look too curious. He could see Cassius across the large room and the black haired wizard from the lift was walking towards him.

"Why should I know?" Cassius' cool voice carried clearly across the floor.

"I bet you helped him, eh? You're still loyal to him in spite of the fact he's a Death Eater." The wizard sneered. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were one."

"What?" Cassius' green eyes narrowed.

"You disgust me."

Remus saw Kingsley stand up and walk towards the two wizards. Remus walked slowly in the same direction.

"I didn't seem to disgust you when we were together." Cassius' voice had dropped to a sexy drawl. Remus felt warmth pool in his stomach as his body reacted to the familiar tone. Cassius' voice became quieter but it still carried across the room. "When you would moan my name while I fucked you."

"I…I…" The wizard's face turned pink and there were some muffled laughs from the aurors standing around. Remus couldn't breathe as he felt a wave of jealousy sweep over him. That wizard had been with Cassius…he'd touched Cassius. Remus's hands clenched into fists as he fought to calm himself down. It had to have been years ago, Cassius wouldn't cheat on him now.

"Hill, Malfoy, that's enough. If I hear anything more from either one of you, you'll be suspended for inappropriate behavior." Kingsley said, an edge in his voice. Hill walked past Cassius, glaring furiously at him. "All right, the rest of you, back to work."

"Never you mind Hill, Cassie." A red-headed wizard thumped Cassius on the back as he walked past him and sat down at his desk. Cassius shrugged and walked away.

"Hello, Remus." Remus jumped, he'd been concentrating on fighting the urge to follow Cassius and re-claim him. "Didn't mean to startle you." Kingsley smiled.

"Oh, no…sorry, lost in thought."

"You need anything?"

"I just thought I'd say hello." Remus said, knowing it sounded like a weak excuse.

"I'd love to chat, but there's been another attack at Hogwarts. I've been called in by Dumbledore, he wants a bit of an investigation."

"Another attack?"

"They found a 2nd year Hufflepuff student – another muggle born, just like the one last month – and Nearly Headless Nick. Both petrified."

"Nearly Headless Nick was petrified?" Remus was astonished. "How is that possible?"

"I don't know. Cass is going to help me find out. If you'll excuse me."

Remus nodded and Kingsley walked away in the same direction Cassius had.

* * *

That evening, Stevens stopped by.

"I heard about the raid on Malfoy Manor. How's Cassie?"

"He's fine. He's at Hogwarts – there was another attack there."

"He's fine?" Stevens sounded stunned.

"Yes, well…I did see one of the aurors say something to him about Cass being loyal to Lucius even though Lucius is a Death Eater. But he didn't lose his temper or anything." Remus said.

"Remus, how long have you been with Cassie?" Stevens was looking at him unbelievingly. Before Remus could answer, Stevens continued, "Never mind, it's just…you know he hides his feelings sometimes."

"I know that."

"Well…all I'm saying is sometimes when he seems fine, he's not fine."

Remus suddenly felt like an idiot. He tried to defend himself. "But…"

"Especially when he's at work. Moody says he's never seen Cassie blush or lose his temper or smile or anything. He's like a muggle robot or something."

"There wasn't a lot of talk – I told you it was just one wizard." Remus said, trying to explain.

"Cassie thinks it's more, he's sensitive about it. He was always judged at school for being a Malfoy – a lot of people didn't look past the name."

"It was like that for Sirius too." Remus said sadly, remembering how Sirius was always lumped with all the other Blacks, who loved the dark arts.

"Black deserved to be judged, it was his true nature, wasn't it?" Stevens said with a hatred and contempt that Remus had never heard in his voice before. "Tell Cassie I stopped by." And without another word he Apparated. Remus sat down suddenly feeling horrible.

* * *

Cassius got home later that night. Remus was already in bed since it was past 11.

"How was Hogwarts?" Remus asked, getting out of bed, crossing to Cassius and hugging him tightly. He'd been upset with himself all day for not trying to talk to Cassius to see how he was.

"Brilliant…except we couldn't find anything." Cassius said, rubbing Remus' back. "Dumbledore says if there's another attack they'll close the school."

"Well, no one's been able to find the chamber for hundreds of years." Remus said as he stepped away from Cassius.

"Probably because you have to be Slytherin's heir to access it…or speak parseltongue." Cassius said. "At least that's what I think."

"Cassius…" Remus started.

"Hmm?" Cassius was chewing on his fingers, deep in thought.

"I overheard what that auror, Hill, said to you today." Remus tried to keep the jealousy out of his voice and succeeded slightly.

"Oh?" Cassius arched an eyebrow at Remus and stopped chewing his fingers.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

"Cass – "

"Remus, I'm fine. It's not the first time someone's accused me of being a Death Eater."

"But everyone knows you aren't." Remus said.

"Not everyone."

"You've proved you're not."

"Some people think it's all an act. It's funny really." Cassius said, not smiling at all.

"Why is it funny?" Remus tilted his head.

"Father would beat me because I wasn't Malfoy enough. But to everyone else, that's all they see, that I'm a Malfoy, so I must be a dark wizard." Cassius shrugged and started to undress. Remus stood by uncertainly. Should he press Cassius about his feelings? He'd said he was fine, did he mean it?

"So you dated Hill?" Damn - he hadn't meant to ask that…he'd meant to make sure Cassius wasn't upset. But he couldn't stop thinking about the other man being with Cassius.

"Yes. For about a year, back in school."

"What happened?"

"It ended." Cassius's tone had such a finality to it that Remus felt like a door had been slammed shut in his face. He stood there, shocked into silence. "Get back in bed." Cassius said as he climbed under the covers. "You must be freezing."

Remus realized his feet were getting numb with the cold and hurried back into their bed.

Cassius was chewing his fingers again. "It has to be a snake…or a basilisk…but I don't understand why no one has been killed…there's something….and who opened the Chamber? I was going to ask Lucius what else he knew about it but I don't think he'll be in the best of moods what with the raid and everything."

"Don't chew your fingers." Remus reached for Cassius' hand and then pulled Cassius' arm around his body. He nuzzled Cassius's neck, breathing in deeply, he could only smell Cassius's scent and that reassured him that Cassius was his.

"Last time, a student died…this time they've just been petrified…and they have to wait until the mandrakes are ready to un-petrify them. That won't be for months. So we can't question them." Cassius lifted his other hand up to his mouth but Remus was quicker. He grabbed it and brought it to his own mouth, licking each finger in turn and then swirling his tongue around each tip. Cassius' mouth fell open as he watched Remus. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Just trying to see why you're always chewing them." Remus said with a sly grin. He thought maybe if he got Cassius off-balance, Cassius would talk about his feelings.

"I know I'm not supposed to."

"But you do all the time."

"I'm not that bad."

"Mmm…" Remus drew one finger into his mouth and sucked on it.

"Remus." Cassius whispered. Remus released the finger with a wet noise.

"Are you upset about today?"

"What?"

"You never chew your fingers when you think about work – so you must be upset and I want to know if you're upset about today?"

"No." Cassius said, moving one of his fingers to trace over Remus' bottom lip. "I'm fine."

"Really." Remus sounded unconvinced. He flicked Cassius' index finger with his tongue. "You're not upset."

"A…" Cassius stopped breathing as Remus sucked two of his fingers into his mouth, rubbing his tongue along their undersides. Remus stopped and waited for Cassius to take a breath, which he did after a moment. "Little, I was a little upset."

"But you're not upset now."

"No – I talked to Stevens and he said I shouldn't be upset by Corbin."

"When did you talk to Stevens?" Remus felt a small flare of jealousy that his husband had gone to Stevens to talk but then he had known Stevens for longer…he wondered about the history between Corbin Hill and Cassius.

"Today…I stopped to see him before coming home from Hogwarts."

"So you feel better now." Remus said.

"Yeah. Could you…could you do that some more?" Cassius asked in a husky whisper.

"Do what?" Remus blinked innocently at him.

"That thing with your tongue and my fingers."

"How about I do it somewhere else than your fingers?" Remus smiled as he moved on top of his mate.

* * *

For the first time in years, the holidays seemed to arrive suddenly. Remus reflected it was probably because he and Cassius were both working. Normally Remus had plenty of time to plan for their anniversary, Cassius' birthday and Christmas.

"Come out to the shed." Cassius said as he pulled on Remus' hand.

"Why?" Remus allowed himself to be pulled towards the front door.

"Because your anniversary present is in there." Cassius said with a smile.

A moment later Remus stood in front of the open doors of the shed. "It's…a car."

"I know! Isn't it wicked?" Cassius was practically bouncing up and down in front of the sleek red car.

"I don't drive."

"I do and I can teach you how. I know you didn't like the motorcycle, so I got this – it has a flying spell and an invisibility spell so we can go for drives, and no one will see us."

"That…that would be nice." Remus stepped towards the car and ran his hand over the smooth hood.

"We could go to the coast and watch the sunset, what do you think?" Cassius started looking at Remus with concern as Remus just stared at the car.

"You'll teach me to drive it?"

"Of course I will." Cassius answered quickly. "Do you like it?"

"It is pretty." Remus said, tilting his head, thinking for a moment. "And we could snog in the backseat, like they do in the movies."

"We could." Cassius grinned at him.

"And it goes with my present – in a way."

"What's your present?"

"Let me go get it." Remus said as he rushed back towards the house. He came out a moment later with a small package. Cassius carefully peeled the wrapping paper away from it, folded the paper, set it down and opened the box. Remus was used to how slow Cassius was, but it always made him impatient. "Come on!"

"Oh! It's a compass…that…doesn't point North." Cassius said as he gazed down at the pocket compass, moving around in different directions.

"It points to Windy Corner." Remus said quickly. "So if you ever get lost, you can find your way home...to me."

"Oh." Cassius looked down at it then turned so he was facing the house. "That's brilliant."

"Happy 7th anniversary, husband." Remus kissed Cassius firmly.

"Happy anniversary." Cassius pulled him towards the car. "Come on, let's break it in."

Author's Note: Yes, I had to make a reference to Pirates of the Caribbean with the compass that doesn't point North. :-) In the next chapter – Cassius' birthday, Christmas and Valentine's Day! And events through the month of May…honest, really!


	16. A Year in the Life Part Four

Author's Note: Sorry it's taken a bit to update – I didn't have internet service at home the past week. So…here is the end of the year. It's a little long but…hope you enjoy!!

Chapter 16 A Year in the Life – Part 4

"Happy Birthday!" Remus pounced on his mate.

"Mmph." Cassius burrowed his head into the pillow.

"Come on, I have your present waiting for you."

"What time is it?" Cassius' voice was muffled.

"It's 6."

"In the morning."

"Yes."

"Since when are you a morning person?"

"Since today – I was able to get you a big gift because of the money I've earned at my job and I want you to open it."

"Now?"

"Come on, you love opening presents."

"When I've had at least 8 hours of sleep."

"Well…I can't help it that you wanted to have sex until the early hours." Remus kissed Cassius' ear. "Come on, please?"

"All right, all right." Cassius rolled over and stumbled to the doorway. "It better be good."

"It is!" Remus hopped up and down with excitement. He prided himself on buying Cassius' presents with his own money which normally meant they weren't all that big, especially since their anniversary, Cassius' birthday and Christmas all fell within a week of each other. But this time…this time, Remus had been able to get Cassius something he'd been wanting for a while. And Cassius would never guess.

"Merlin – "Cassius yawned. "That's a huge box."

"Start opening it!" Remus pulled Cassius over to it. He puttered around the kitchen fixing them both some toast and tea while Cassius opened the present. He sat down just in time for Cassius to open the box. Cassius' jaw dropped open and he stared wide eyed into the box.

"A…a Nimbus 2000!" Cassius murmured with awe. "You got me a Nimbus 2000." He reached into the box and pulled the broom out. "You are the best best best wife ever!" He set the broom down and scooped Remus up into his arms.

"So you forgive me for waking you up?" Remus said between kisses.

"It's brilliant. I love you."

"Happy 29th Birthday, Cass." Remus hugged his mate tightly.

* * *

Christmas was a low key affair. Moody went to visit his niece, Stevens was in Europe for a special Quidditch tour and Tabby had gone to Hogwarts to help her sister tend to the mandrakes.

"I love Christmas." Cassius said from where he was laying spread-eagled on the floor amongst the opened presents.

"You just love mistletoe." Remus answered, brushing his fingers across his bruised lips.

"I love presents as well."

"Uh huh."

"And eggnog."

"Uh huh." Remus pulled on the new sweater Cassius had bought him and slipped his feet into his new slippers from Tabby.

"And…mistletoe." Cassius grinned.

"All right – which is it 'A Christmas Carol,' 'It's a Wonderful Life' or 'White Christmas'?"" Remus asked, it was tradition to end the evening watching a movie in front of the fire.

"Umm…'Wonderful Life.' And we don't have to hear Tabby sniffle through the whole thing." Cassius said with a smile, crawling towards Remus on the couch.

* * *

Cassius stood in the bathroom, about to brush his teeth. He looked at his hands in the mirror. He could look up, look at his face, it was possible. Remus was always trying to get him to do so.

"Is the rest of you that pale too, Cousin?" Regulus' taunting voice rang in his ears.

He took a deep breath and raised his eyes. He could see the Lupin ring shining on his chest, he looked a little higher and could see the tattoo that Remus loved to trace over.

Suddenly he heard his father's voice, almost as clearly as if he were standing next to him. "Well, at least you _look_ like a Malfoy, even if you don't act like one."

Cassius shook his head, closed his eyes and brushed his teeth quickly. Remus entered the bathroom, walking up behind Cassius, he twined one arm around Cassius' waist. The other hand crept up, feeling Cassius' face.

"The Department Holiday Party is today." Cassius said, moving his head so he could kiss Remus' fingers.

"I know. I think you'll be fine without a shave, unless you really want one."

"No, it's fine, I'm running late anyway." Cassius turned around. "I'll be home by midnight."

"I'll be here." Remus said. "Have fun. I'm looking forward to hearing all about it from Aspasia. You know…if you talk to her, it would make her year."

"What should I say?" Cassius smiled.

"Umm….ask her about Sam, her son, he was in your year at Hogwarts, you must have known him…He was in Hufflepuff. He's a healer now, he was my healer when I was in hospital."

"Just ask how he's doing?"

"Yes. And I put our present for Moody in your coat pocket."

"What'd we get him?"

"You'll just have to find out." Remus grinned as he walked down the stairs.

* * *

"Remus, Valentine's Day is next week." Cassius said casually as he walked into the kitchen where Remus was cooking dinner. Tabby was off visiting a friend.

"I know." Remus replied, equally casually. They had never celebrated Valentine's Day, mostly because Cassius either forgot or was away. Remus had never made a big deal of it because he figured every day was rather like Valentine's Day.

"I overheard Tessen telling Bartleby about all the things he's planning for his wife. Dinner, flowers, a night in a hotel away from their kids. He's getting her a new ring."

"That's nice of him." Remus said, checking the oven to see how his shepherd's pie was doing.

"Would you…um…I mean…we could do something for it, if you wanted."

Remus turned around, looking at Cassius who was tracing a pattern on the kitchen table, not looking at him. "We could. What were you thinking?"

"Moody has a cabin on Skye…he stays there when he visits his niece, he said we could use it for the night."

"That'd be nice, I've never been there."

"I've never given you anything for Valentine's Day. I've never even remembered it." Cassius scowled at the table. "I'm a horrible husband."

"You're not. You give me something every day." Remus said, crossing to the table.

"And what's that?" Cassius muttered.

"Your love." Remus kissed the top of Cassius' head as Cassius made a scoffing noise. "And I could have reminded you about Valentine's Day if I'd really wanted to celebrate it. Skye sounds wonderful. And I'd love a new watch and the new edition of Magical Home Remedies, it was just published last week."

There was a long pause. "Would you write me a note so I'd remember to get them?" Cassius tilted his head to look up at Remus solemnly.

"Of course." Remus kissed him quickly. "What do _you_ want for Valentine's Day?"

"I get a present too?" Cassius said, green eyes starting to sparkle. Remus nodded, smiling. "Oh! I…I need a new foe glass and…a new quill for work."

"What happened to the quill you got for Christmas?" Remus asked with surprise.

"I lost it." Cassius shrugged.

"I put a spell on it so it wouldn't get lost."

"Well…I don't know. I still lost it." Cassius' hand flexed.

"All right, I'll get you a new one and I'll research a different spell." Remus kissed Cassius quickly.

* * *

Remus checked his bag again. He'd never gone overnight anywhere since he and Cassius had been mated. He wondered if he over packed – after all they were just going to be gone one night. Tabby had packed them a picnic basket, which was sitting on the table, but he hadn't seen Tabby all day. She'd gotten flustered when he had told her their plans for the holiday and had changed the subject anytime he'd brought it up after that.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and picked up the basket. A moment later he was stepping into Moody's cabin on Skye. He looked through the window and could see they were very close to the coast. He explored the small cabin, careful not to touch anything until Cassius got there. With Moody, you never knew if there would be any dark wizard traps. He sat gingerly on a chair, figuring that would have to be safe, and waited for Cassius. A moment later, Cassius walked through the door of the cabin.

"Come for a walk - it's just about sunset." Cassius said from the doorway.

Remus walked quickly over to join him. "Are you sure…"

"It's protected, no one will see us." Cassius answered, taking Remus' hand in his.

"Oh." They walked silently towards the beach. Cassius conjured up a blanket, sat down and pulled Remus into his lap.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Remus." Cassius kissed him until they were both breathless.

"If…if no one can see us…"

"Mmm?" Cassius nuzzled Remus' neck.

"Could we…"

"Could we what?"

"Kiss on the beach? Like in that muggle movie?" Remus asked.

"If you want to." Cassius laid back, bringing Remus with him. Remus shivered as the wind blew gently over them. He pulled Remus into a searing kiss. Remus fumbled with Cassius' sweater and shirt to get to his skin. "Oh! Merlin! Your hands are freezing!"

"Sorry."

"I guess I need to warm you up."

"Yes, you do." Remus smiled down at his mate. In a swift move, Cassius rolled them over so he was on top, his long jacket covering Remus, blocking out the wind. "Please." Remus arched up, seeking more contact. "I love you."

"Sex on the beach – that's very Valentine's Day, isn't it?"

"Very – it's very romantic." Remus said.

"Good – I just wanted to make sure." Cassius shifted and unzipped Remus' pants.

* * *

Remus was double checking to make sure everything was packed for his trip to France. Aspasia was sending him to meet with their department of Ludicrous Patents.

"You will be careful, won't you?" Cassius said from his seat on the bed where he'd been watching Remus pack.

"Yes." Remus said with an exasperated sigh. It was the fifth time Cassius had asked him that. "I will not Apparate unless I know I am going to a safe location. I will always have my wand on my person. I will not talk to strangers or take any candy they may offer to me."

"There's no need to get snarky." Cassius growled.

"How old am I?" Remus looked over at his mate.

"You're…thirty?" Remus shook his head. Cassius sometimes forgot how old Remus was, of course, he often forgot how old he was, Remus didn't suppose it mattered much.

"I'm 32. 32 and…" Remus quickly counted in his head. "seven months."

"I knew that." Cassius grumbled.

"And so I'm old enough to take care of myself. It's only a two day business trip." Remus walked over and threaded his hands through Cassius' hair. "So you don't need to worry. Honestly, it's not like any dark wizard is going to be threatening me, it's Ludicrous Patents business."

"But you've never been away before." Cassius said plaintively.

"Well, there's a first time for everything." Remus said lightly. "Don't worry." Remus kissed Cassius briefly. "I have to get going or I'll be late." Cassius' fingers tightened their hold on Remus' robe. He could feel the tension in Cassius' body. "Now you know how I feel when you have those dangerous assignments."

"You get this worried about me?" Cassius tilted his head as he looked up at Remus.

"Of course I do, I love you, _and_ I have _actual_ reasons to worry when _you_ go on assignment."

"Oh…it must be awful for you." Cassius said earnestly.

"It is." Remus nodded. "But you always tell me that you'll be all right and that makes me feel better."

"So tell _me_ you'll be all right."

"I'll be all right."

* * *

"There's been another attack at Hogwarts." Tabby looked up from the scroll she'd just received from her sister.

"What happened?" Cassius asked. Or at least, Remus thought that was what he said through the mouthful of potatoes and eggs.

"A 2nd year Gryffindor and a 5th year Ravenclaw…a prefect." Tabby looked back down at the scroll. "Both petrified." She gasped. "And Hagrid has been sent to Azkaban!"

"What?" Remus gasped. "They _can't_ think Hagrid was responsible."

"Well …when the Chamber was opened 50 years ago, Hagrid was pointed to as the culprit…they must think…it's impossible of course. Ah…according to my sister, Fudge signed the order."

"Figures." Cassius said scornfully.

"And…" Tabby's eyes widened. "Dumbledore's been removed!"

"What?" Remus and Cassius yelled together.

"Ach! My ears!" Tabby murmured. "Hold on, hold on – let me read. She says that the Board of Governors voted to remove Dumbledore from his position. Apparently, Lucius led the vote."

"Lucius?" Cassius looked shocked. "But…why would he want Dumbledore removed?"

"Thinks he's not doing his job." Tabby shrugged. "Well, now, you two, it's almost time for you to leave for work – eat up."

"But…Dumbledore's brilliant at his job – everyone knows that." Cassius said. "He knows everything."

"He kept the school open through these attacks, perhaps Lucius felt it was too unsafe for the children." Tabby said calmly, looking at Remus pointedly.

"Draco's there, so Lucius does have a vested interest in the safety of the school." Remus said, feeling anger inside at Lucius removing Dumbledore, he knew it was because Lucius was evil – he hated everything Dumbledore stood for – but Cassius didn't want to believe Lucius was a dark wizard. Remus had learned to not rock the boat when it came to Lucius.

"You think so?" Cassius turned troubled eyes towards Remus.

"It makes sense." Remus said – it did, if Remus believed Lucius capable of caring about his son.

"And I'm sure once the Chamber is shut, Dumbledore will be restored." Tabby said. "Finish your breakfast, Cassie."

* * *

"Remus – do you see the article on the second page?"

"Which one?" Remus asked, turning his paper to the second page. He and Tabby each got a copy of the Daily Prophet delivered. Cassius never read the Daily Prophet, calling it rubbish. Remus used the money in his own vault for the subscription so that Cassius couldn't cancel it. It had become his and Tabby's morning routine once Cassius had left for work for them to sit in the kitchen and read the paper together, discussing an article occasionally. Remus had missed reading the paper with Tabby once he had gotten his job. He was home sick today because the full moon was that evening. "Oh! The one about Lucius being resigning from the Board of Governors!"

"My sister says he didn't resign. He was kicked off! He probably paid the reporter to say he resigned."

"He's probably upset about that." Remus said, trying to suppress a grin. When The Marauders had been in the Order before Voldemort's defeat, they'd had run ins with Lucius. He was an icy, condescending, conniving wizard. And Remus didn't think he'd been under Imperious like he had said once Voldemort was defeated.

"We'll have to ask Cassie, he's having lunch with Lucius today."

"Is he? Oh, you're right, it is the 2nd Tuesday of the month."

Suddenly, Moody flooed into the kitchen.

"Moody! How are you?" Remus asked as Moody clunked over to the kitchen table.

"Remus, Bette." Moody nodded.

"Alastor." Tabby said, not looking up from her newspaper.

"Came to tell you the news from Hogwarts."

"We just read it – Lucius isn't on the Board anymore."

"That's just the tip of it." Moody settled down at the table. "It appears Lucius was involved in opening the Chamber."

"What?" Tabby set down her newspaper and stared at Moody. Remus stared as well.

"Now…Cassie will say Voldemort has a spell on Lucius again…so be prepared." Moody paused and Tabby and Remus nodded. "It seems he had Voldemort's school diary…Voldemort was the one who opened the Chamber fifty years ago, when he was at Hogwarts. He's Slytherin's heir." Moody gave a dry hacking cough. Tabby flew up and got him a cup and quickly poured him some tea. He took a sip. "Voldemort used one of Arthur Weasley's children to open the Chamber – the diary had a spell on it, somehow preserved the memory of himself."

"And…how was he defeated?" Tabby asked.

"Harry Potter. Seems to be the only wizard capable of defeating Voldemort, in any incarnation. He and his friend Ron Weasley went to find the Chamber. Potter was able to enter it – he's a parselmouth. And he confronted Voldemort's fifteen year old self and defeated him. Cool head, that Potter. Amazing he's not even thirteen."

"Amazing." Remus said, filled with pride that James and Lily's son was so powerful at such a young age.

"Although – James and Lily were certainly no slouches." Moody said gruffly.

"No, they weren't." Remus said stoutly. The three were silent for a moment.

"Oh and…Dumbledore is restored to Headmaster. I think that's all the news." Moody said, reaching for a croissant from the platter on the table.

"Thanks for coming to tell us." Remus said.

"Well – it's not all going to be in the Prophet, and I thought you'd want to know."

"Thank you, Alastor." Tabby said. Remus watched in surprise as a flush crept over Moody's scarred cheeks.

"Not at all." Moody stood. "Best be off."

Author's Notes: Yes, it's a bit of a sudden ending, but…I'm done! (Clapping hands excitedly!) The next chapter will be up in a week! Oh – I have some lovely little bits coming up. I hope you enjoy. :-)


	17. The Dream

Author's Notes: Thank you to my reviewers! You totally keep me motivated! I love opening my email and finding reviews inside. They make my day. :-)

This chapter has been written for months – it took me that long to fill in the blanks to get to this point in the story. :-) I've spent a lot of time polishing it – so I'm hoping it's good.

Chapter 17 – The Dream

In late June, Cassius flooed home from the Ministry and was immediately engulfed in an embrace as soon as he stepped out of the fireplace.

"You'll never guess what happened!" Remus' voice was muffled against Cassius' shirt as his arms surrounded Cassius tightly.

"All right….what?" Cassius put his arms around his mate feeling the familiarity of Remus' thin frame. Although Cassius was always telling Remus to eat more, he remained thin, although he was much healthier than he had been when he and Cassius had first started dating.

"Dumbledore wrote – he's offered me a teaching position at Hogwarts!" Remus' eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"Really? That's wonderful!"

Remus separated from Cassius, dragging him over to the table. He picked up the scroll that was laying on it.

"Look…see?" Remus thrust the scroll at him. "Lockhart couldn't return because of his memory loss so there was an opening!"

Cassius looked down and scanned the letter. "Defense Against The Dark Arts! You know as much as any auror, you'll be great!"

"I hope I will be." Remus suddenly looked doubtful.

"Of course you will be, you're brilliant." Cassius said with certainty before he leaned down and kissed Remus.

"I already owled Dumbledore to accept the job, I was so excited! I've always wanted to teach at Hogwarts."

"I know you have. It's a wonderful opportunity for you."

"You know…married faculty can have their spouses live at Hogwarts with them." Remus said hopefully, slipping his hands under Cassius' sweater. He knew Cassius would refuse but he had to ask.

"I can't…you know we can't…not with Voldemort around…and after Lucius' involvement in opening the Chamber of Secrets…Voldemort obviously has his hold back on Luke." Cassius still didn't believe that his brother was a Death Eater of his own free will. "It's to keep you safe, Remus. Otherwise, I would, honest. I'll come visit every month, so we'll get to see each other often so we won't get sick."

"What?" Remus looked at Cassius blankly.

"The werewolf bond. Really, Remus, I would have thought you'd have memorized all this stuff."

"I have!" Remus answered quickly. "I just don't remember anything about…getting sick."

"Well, since we're bonded, we need to be around each other – otherwise we'll get sick, they call it separation illness. That's part of the whole 'mates for life' stuff. If we were parted for long enough we'd die...at least that's the theory, no one knows exactly how long that would take – and there haven't been any documented cases of death happening, so I don't think it would really happen… Anyway, and we're double-mated so we're more susceptible."

"Oh…"

"I thought that was why you didn't want to mate…I thought you knew about that." Cassius looked curiously at Remus.

"Well…I knew we'd be stuck with each other but I didn't know we would die if we were separated." Remus said, suddenly scared about the separation illness.

"_Stuck_ with each other?" Cassius asked with wry expression.

"Cass, you know what I mean." Remus was flustered, he hadn't thought about dying if he was away from Cassius too long. He hadn't thought about Cassius dying either. How long was too long, he wondered worriedly. What would happen to him if Cassius was killed on assignment? Why didn't he know all this stuff about mating? Mating was a very serious thing…maybe they shouldn't have done it.

"Hmm…" Cassius was looking thoughtful. "We could have sex in the astronomy tower after curfew." He looked down at Remus and arched his eyebrow seductively.

"What?" Remus gasped, jolted out of his worried thoughts.

"What?" Cassius repeated innocently.

"Sex in the astronomy tower?" Remus wasn't sure if he had heard Cassius correctly.

"Oh, please, Remus, practically every student who goes to Hogwarts has had sex in the astronomy tower. It's almost like a graduation requirement."

"Really?"

"Yup. It's dark, it's secluded, it's kind of creepy…just the right sort of place to have sex." Cassius grinned.

"You like to have sex in creepy places?" This was something new, he thought.

"It's only kind of creepy….and I didn't so much care about the place as much as the sex."

"How many…mmph." Remus was cut off from asking his question by Cassius' mouth descending on his own. Cassius' tongue probed at his lips until he opened them. "Mmmm" Remus sighed as he tangled his hands in Cassius' hair and deepened the kiss. "Our attic is kind of creepy." Remus said breathlessly, feeling desire bubbling through his veins.

"No – there's that portrait…what about the old house-elf's room?" Cassius tightened his arms around Remus.

"Definitely kind of creepy." Remus shivered as Cassius kissed his neck.

"And we have…an hour before dinner."

* * *

Remus was awakened by an owl tapping on the window of their bedroom. Cassius got up and walked over to the window, opening it and taking the scroll from the bird's leg.

"What is it?" Remus asked sleepily, lighting the lamp by his side of the bed. Cassius didn't answer, he was staring at the scroll, he looked like he had turned into a statue. "Cass?" Cassius didn't answer, he didn't move. "Cass?" Still no answer. Remus felt a knot start in the pit of his stomach…Cassius never reacted like this to anything. He got out of bed and walked over to Cassius. He laid a hand on Cassius' arm. "Cassius." Cassius startled and crumpled the scroll in his hand.

"I have to go." His voice was hoarse.

"What happened?" Remus looked up at Cassius whose face was paler than usual and his eyes had turned black. "What happened?" Remus repeated with growing apprehension, his stomach starting to flip flop.

"I have to go." Cassius sounded like an echo of himself. He turned and went to the closet, hastily pulling on clothes over his pajamas. Remus noticed the crumpled scroll was dropped to the floor. Cassius raced out of the room and down the stairs.

"Cass!" Remus raced after him.

Cassius went to the mudroom and came out a moment later jerking on his coat. "I have to go." He repeated as his hand reached into his pocket, retrieving his wand.

"What's wrong?" Remus couldn't imagine out what could have happened. Was Stevens dead? Or Moody? Had Voldemort…

With a crack, Cassius Apparated. Remus stood there for a moment. He raced back up to their room, picking up the scroll from the floor. He smoothed it out. After reading it, he fell to his knees, his hand flying up to his mouth – he thought he would be sick.

_Urgent – _

_Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban Prison. _

_All aurors are recalled to the Ministry immediately for assignment. _

_All other department activities are on hold until Black is recaptured._

_Permission to use The Unforgivables is granted._

_ – Hector Worth, Head Auror._

Remus felt faint and sweaty. Sirius had escaped! He had escaped. It was impossible, Azkaban was impossible to escape from, everyone said it was. How had he done it? And in a flash, the answer came to him, the answer only he knew, the answer only the Marauders knew, but why now? If he could have escaped now – why didn't he escape earlier? What was Sirius planning? And why was Cassius so upset?

* * *

Remus' 33rd birthday was the day after Sirius' escape. Cassius hadn't come home since he had left after getting the owl. It wasn't unusual for Cassius to be gone for days at a time, but he always owled to let Remus know he was ok. Remus hadn't heard anything. He was a nervous wreck, he hadn't been able to keep any food down after reading the message from the Ministry. He paced around the house so much Tabby told him he was wearing her out.

Remus looked at the clock for the millionth time that day. Stevens and Moody were coming for dinner in less than an hour. Remus hoped that Cassius would be there. Remus was attempting to organize his lesson plans in the library when he heard the clomping of Cassius' boots on the stairs. He raced into the hallway and was immediately swung into Cassius' arms.

"I'm sorry I left so…I missed you."

"It doesn't matter, you're home now." Remus kissed Cassius passionately

"Happy birthday." Cassius smiled before kissing Remus. Remus noticed that the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"How is – "

"I don't want to talk about it." Cassius said smoothly as he set Remus down. "Let me get changed, I've been wearing these clothes since I left."

The birthday dinner was a subdued affair although Stevens tried hard to make it merry. Remus appreciated his efforts. Cassius seemed cold and distant and Remus felt the knot in his stomach tighten as the dinner went on.

"Cass, I need to talk to you before I go." Moody said gruffly after the presents had been opened.

"All right." Cassius and Moody went into the sitting room and Moody did a silencing spell.

"Remus looks very healthy for a werewolf."

"What are you talking about?" Cassius looked at Moody as if he really were mad. Remus was too thin and often looked ill and tired due to his lycanthropy. He was better now than when Cassius had first met him, but he certainly didn't look healthy.

"He looks unhealthy for a wizard…but healthy for a werewolf." Moody explained calmly.

"And your point?" Cassius snapped.

"The staff at Hogwarts knows he's a werewolf, don't they?"

"Yes."

"They'll know he's mated. It's the only way a werewolf would look that healthy."

"We can't un-mate." Cassius' brows knit together.

"You can abstain from sex. Starting now. That way when he goes to Hogwarts he'll look closer to normal for an unmated werewolf. If he looks like he's mated, they'll start to investigate _who_ he's mated to. They might track his correspondence."

"Why would they care who he's mated to?"

"They might think he's mated to Black." Moody paused as he watched Cassius' eyes turn black. "Obviously he's not, but if they think it, they'll start looking into his personal life and they might discover you. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

"No." Cassius ground out the words, trying to calm down, he could see Remus and Stevens looking into the sitting room from where they were talking in the dining room. He was aware the room was starting to get colder.

"Well, then. Until Black's recaptured..." Moody said, thinking to himself that the recapture would be soon, within a few weeks at the most. There was no way that Black would be able to evade Cassius. In Moody's opinion (and he didn't feel he was biased) Cassius was the best tracker, the best auror the Ministry had ever seen. But keeping Remus safe was a priority for Cassius, and the way Cassius thought he could do that best was if their relationship was a secret. Just in case Black was able to stay in hiding or was able to get to Voldemort, they needed to start taking action now to start the separation illness effects.

"Damn Black." Cassius muttered through gritted teeth.

"I'll be going. You need to get some rest…be with Remus tonight." Moody said, lifting the silencing spell as he walked back towards the dining room. "Remus, happy birthday."

"Thank you, Moody. Thank you for my present." Remus had gotten a teaching plan book from Moody.

"I'm off as well. Happy birthday, Remus." Stevens stood and patted Remus awkwardly on the shoulder. "Bye Cassie."

"Bye." Cassius said absently as Stevens hugged him.

When they were alone, Remus didn't know what to do. Cassius seemed to have withdrawn into himself as he stared down the hallway towards the kitchen with black eyes. Remus walked over to Cassius slowly.

"Cass…are you all right?" He asked softly, touching Cassius' arm. Cassius looked down at him for a long moment, not seeming to really see him, before yanking Remus towards him and crushing his mouth down in a hard kiss. Remus suddenly found himself upstairs on the bed, falling under the onslaught of Cassius' love. There was a desperation in Cassius that Remus couldn't understand, he just pulled Cassius closer, murmuring words of love into his ear.

* * *

Stevens came over for the weekly chess game that was a ritual between Cassius and him. It was a rainy mid-August day. Remus played piano while Cassius and Stevens played their game. Remus sometimes listened to their conversations but he could only really understand about half of it because they never seemed to complete their sentences. Remus was always reminded of the Marauders. They had been like that too, so close they knew what the other was thinking. Except that no one had known that Sirius had betrayed them all. He shook his head to clear it of the memories of the good times at school and afterwards – it was painful now. He tuned back in to listening to Stevens and Cassius. He envied Stevens his easy, open relationship with Cassius. Cassius was still hard for Remus to read sometimes, even after over nine years together.

"I saw Bartleby the other day." Stevens' voice was casual.

"Mmm..."

"He's a chatterbox, isn't he? Nearly talked my ear off. He talk to you at work a lot?"

"Yes."

"Don't grumble at me, you're the one who's losing. You can't move that pawn that way."

"Yes, I can." Cassius' voice rose defensively.

"No, you can't. It's illegal." There was a pause. "Cassie." Stevens' voice changed into a soothing tone. "If you're tired, you should take a nap."

"I don't need a nap." Cassius growled. Remus could feel sparks fly off his mate. He was very tired and irritable, he hadn't been sleeping well the past two weeks. Remus thought it was the effects of the separation illness although he himself hadn't started to feel any symptoms. Cassius hated when anyone commented on it. Stevens was the only one brave enough to do so.

"Remus seems tired. Full moon was a couple nights ago, wasn't it? He'd take a nap if you did."

"He seems tired?" Remus could feel Cassius' gaze on him but he continued to play. He knew Cassius felt badly about not having sex with Remus on the full moon, but Remus understood his reasons. Remus disagreed, but he bowed to Cassius' wishes. "I'll get him to take a nap when you leave."

"Good." There was silence for a moment. "Still worried?"

"Yes."

"You needn't be, it's silly to be – you've no reason."

"Maybe."

"No 'maybe', you don't."

"You think so?"

"After so many years? And what he did! Don't be daft." Stevens paused. "Why do you still believe that bastard?" Remus wondered what they were talking about.

"I don't." The air in the sitting room suddenly crackled, like a thunderstorm was coming.

"Prove it." There was silence while the air slowly returned to normal. "How's working with Audra?" Remus' ears pricked up, he hadn't heard that Cassius was working with anyone although the Daily Prophet had mentioned aurors were now working in pairs searching for Sirius.

"Fine."

"How's it going?" Stevens repeated calmly.

"Fine." There was silence and Remus imagined that Stevens was glaring at Cassius. Cassius sighed. "She talks a lot."

"Maybe she's nervous around you."

"Why would she be nervous?"

"You're intimidating…you never talk to anyone at work. So no one knows what you're like."

"I talk to people."

"Like who?"

"Kingsley…and…Tessen and Bartleby."

"Uh huh. And you have long conversations with them, do you?"

"No – you said I didn't talk to anyone and I said I did – you didn't ask if I had long conversations with them."

"Audra was at school with you – same year, and in our house, remember?"

"Was she?"

"Yes. You liked her."

"Did I? Well…I guess I still like her – she's just natters on about everything. She's almost as bad as Bartleby."

"Checkmate!" Stevens said triumphantly.

To be continued…. Sorry for the kind of abrupt ending but…the next chapter will be up soon!


	18. The Nightmare

Author's note: Yes, spurred by a review – here's another chapter! :-)

AffectedMango0 said she thought Remus' reaction to Sirius' escape was ooc…so I'm trying to explain myself a bit. Here goes: Remus does care immensely that Sirius has escaped, he thinks Sirius betrayed James and Lily and killed Peter so he is worried Sirius will come after him and worried that Sirius is going after Harry. But…in my story, Remus has never really talked to Cassius about his relationship with Sirius because he knows Sirius and Cassius hated each other and Remus thinks Sirius is a murderer. Since Sirius was imprisoned the whole of their relationship, Remus and Cassius have never had to face the issue of Sirius. And Remus doesn't like confrontations so he doesn't push the issue. This is one of the areas Remus doesn't know too much about Cassius and his feelings because it's easier to not have the confrontation. So…that's where Stevens and Cassius' relationship is more honest and open – because Stevens isn't afraid of confrontations AND he knows some things Remus doesn't (foreshadowing!!). I didn't want to make it seem like Remus totally didn't know Cassius after so long together, just in this one aspect…so…hope that makes sense. :-)

This chapter might have Remus and Cassius being a little ooc but…I am hoping it kind of explains itself in the chapters to come. :-)

Ch 18 - Nightmares

"Remus – I don't want you to go to Hogwarts." Cassius had just arrived home from work after a 12 hour shift. Remus set his dinner on the table in front of him, it had been kept warm for over an hour.

"What?" Remus quickly sat down opposite of Cassius. He hadn't thought Cassius would try to keep him home. He needed to be at Hogwarts, not only because he had always wanted to be a professor there since he was very young but because he was the only one alive who knew that Sirius was an animagus.

"Black hasn't been sighted since his escape and the guards heard him say 'He's at Hogwarts.'" Cassius rubbed his forehead, the long days were taking their toll on him. The entire Auror Department as well as the Hit Wizards had been on full alert since Black's escape and working long hours to try to find Black. Fudge had even alerted the muggle Prime Minister soon after the escape.

"He had to have been talking about Harry – I'm not there!" Remus felt himself start to get angry. His temper was on a short fuse lately, the stress of worrying about Sirius on the loose and whether Cassius would get hurt was taking its toll. And it'd been over three weeks since they'd had sex, he was starting to feel the effects of the separation illness.

"Well – maybe he had a premonition." Cassius snapped irritably.

"That's impossible – Sirius didn't have second sight." Remus waved his hand dismissively.

"Is it? Everyone thought it was impossible that he could escape – maybe he just never told you." Cassius' scornful tone sent a sharp pain through Remus' heart.

"He told me everything! He was my best friend!" Remus shouted furiously.

"Oh?? Then how did _you_ not know he was the traitor?" Cassius yelled back, his eyes black with anger.

"I…." Remus suddenly felt tears fill his eyes. Sirius _hadn't_ told him _everything_ – Sirius had been working for Voldemort, and he betrayed James and Lily to their death and killed Peter. Remus had loved him and then Sirius had shown his true nature…Remus had been betrayed too.

"Remus, I…" Cassius reached for Remus' hand, Remus drew it away before Cassius could touch it. He knew he would break down if Cassius touched him now with such concern and apology in his green eyes. He needed to convince Cassius that he should be at Hogwarts, he couldn't start crying now.

"I can help protect Harry." Remus whispered hoarsely, watching Cassius' hand clench into a fist. "And Hogwarts will be the safest place for me to be - "

"Here is the safest place." Cassius ground out the words angrily.

"Other than here, I meant…Hogwarts will be the next safest place."

"Remus!" Cassius slammed his fist on the table. "By Merlin, you cannot go!"

"Please! Husband…" Remus reached out for Cassius' hand and held on to it tightly. "If he is after Harry, I want to be there to help protect Harry. I need to be there. I have to be there. James and Lily can't – I…" Remus felt the lump grow in his throat. Cassius started to chew on his fingers. They sat in silence for a long moment. Remus swallowed hard. "All the spells on Hogwarts will keep him out. And with the Dementors there too, there will be no way for Sirius to get in." Remus suddenly felt very guilty at the lie. He knew there was a way – and he needed to be there to protect Harry from Sirius. He couldn't let anyone know that he had been the reason that three young wizards had become unregistered animagi. He could only imagine Dumbledore's disappointment. The thoughts swirled through his head – he needed to be at Hogwarts, he had to be there.

"Do you really want to go so badly?" Cassius gazed at their hands, Remus was gripping Cassius' hand so tightly his knuckles were white.

"Yes." Remus whispered. Cassius sighed and placed his other hand on top of their clasped hands. Remus noticed the fingers were bleeding slightly and he felt another sharp pang of guilt.

"Oh, Remus." Cassius whispered.

"I'll be all right." Remus tried to sound as certain as he could. Cassius bowed his head, Remus knew he had given in, in spite of his fears.

Cassius lifted his hand off of Remus' and began to eat. Remus eased his hold on Cassius' other hand and stroked his thumb over the top of it. He grasped it loosely enough so that Cassius could take his hand away at anytime. It was his wand hand. It was silent while Cassius ate. Remus couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't bring up Sirius again. Although he was mentioned rarely, Sirius had always been a touchy subject with Cassius because of their family history together – Sirius had hated everyone in his family, including Cassius, and Cassius had hated Sirius in return. He always got agitated when Sirius' name was mentioned. Remus had never talked in detail about his relationship with Sirius, but he knew Cassius believed it to have been more significant than Remus had said.

"Fudge has ordered us to be on call at all times." Cassius said in a cool voice, staring down at his now empty plate. "So…there's no way I'll be able to visit…ever." Cassius had talked to Moody and they agreed that one meeting a term would be fine, to keep Remus and Cassius from getting too sick. "You can't get back either, Dumbledore has already sealed Hogwarts off from the floo network. And he just agreed to let Dementors be posted around the castle. They'll get suspicious if you go to Hogsmeade too often."

"Oh."

"So, I guess we'll see how bad the separation illness can get." Cassius' mouth twisted in a wry grin before taking a long drink from his goblet of raspberry juice.

"I'll talk to Dumbledore about coming back for the Christmas holiday." Remus said quickly.

"No, he doesn't know and the less people who know about us the better. You'll be safer that way." Cassius said with finality. "And you'll miss enough days with the full moon – I don't want you to endanger your job by asking for additional time away."

"Oh, husband." Remus lifted Cassius' hand to his mouth and kissed it. "I love you."

"Mm." Cassius hadn't looked at him since he'd started eating. Cassius rubbed his forehead again, then brushed something – was it a tear? – from his eye.

"I'm going to shower and bed. I have to be back at the Ministry at 7." His voice was thick with emotion. Cassius stood and walked slowly from the room. Remus felt another twinge of guilt – maybe he should tell Cassius that Sirius was an animagus but he didn't know how Cassius would react – he'd be disappointed with Remus – and angry too. And he certainly wouldn't let Remus go to Hogwarts then. Remus felt childish for being so stubborn…but he needed to be at Hogwarts.

Remus decided to read in the library about the separation illness so he would know what to expect. He'd been meaning to do that and since Cassius obviously wanted some alone time, it was as good a time as any. He walked by the bathroom on his way to the library. He couldn't hear anything from behind the door which meant Cassius had done a silencing spell. He sighed. He wished Cassius would talk to him. Sometimes, Cassius withdrew into himself so much Remus didn't know how to reach him. He decided he'd allow Cassius to shower in peace but then they would talk. That would give him some time to collect his own thoughts.

* * *

On the other side of the door, Cassius was sitting on the floor of the shower, under the cascade of steaming hot water, crying. Remus wanted to be at Hogwarts. He wanted to be there, away from Cassius, so he could reunite with Sirius. Remus had said they were only friends, but Moody had told Cassius that Remus had been devastated when Sirius had been revealed to be the traitor.

Even though they had not mated, Cassius was convinced Remus had loved Sirius very much – maybe enough to forgive the betrayal and death of their best friends. Cassius knew on some level he was being irrational, he was exhausted from the long shifts at work and starting to feel the effects of the separation illness, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Remus would have rather mated with Sirius than him. There wasn't anything he could do.

Everyone had always loved Sirius, he was so easy to love: friendly, charming, brilliant and handsome. Not like Cassius. Hadn't he heard his father tell him that time and time again, all during his childhood? Cassius wasn't charming or friendly – he was too shy, too quiet. He wasn't handsome – he didn't look exactly like a Malfoy should. He wasn't smart – he had special tutoring at school during his 2nd and 3rd years. Cassius couldn't compete with Sirius, he just couldn't. If Sirius came for him, Remus would leave Cassius. Cassius had already lost one love in his life – that had almost killed him, and they hadn't been mated – he couldn't imagine recovering from losing Remus…. He took a deep breath. Until Sirius came for him – Remus was still his. The thought made Cassius feel a bit better…

* * *

Remus read for about 20 minutes. He kept an ear alert to the sound of the bathroom door opening. Symptoms of the separation illness started about three weeks after the mates' last sexual encounter. Remus wondered why Cassius hadn't been sleeping well the past few weeks if the separation illness could only have started this week. The symptoms included insomnia, nausea, body aches, fever, loss of appetite, headaches, irrationality, anxiety, irritability, and depression. The symptoms would start off mild, some mates experiencing just one symptom, others more. They would become more intense as the separation became longer. Double mating made the symptoms worse since that bond was stronger than a single mating. The human mate would suffer more in the long run, not having the werewolf's strength.

Remus felt guilty at putting this burden on Cassius, especially now when he needed his strength to capture Sirius. He looked back at the book. The longest recorded separation was over one year, neither mate died although they both were severely ill at the end. No one knew how long it would take for death to occur. Often when one mate died, the other mate chose to follow the mate into death without waiting for the separation illness. Maybe that meant death from separation didn't happen. Remus swallowed hard. He should have known all this before they mated…was he really making the right decision to go to Hogwarts? Remus heard the bathroom door open. He closed the book and walked into the hallway, Cassius walked into the bedroom without looking in his direction.

* * *

"Hi." Remus said as he walked into the bedroom, looking at Cassius closely, his eyes were a little red.

"Are you coming to bed?" Cassius' cheeks were turning pink.

Remus smiled. "I thought I would, I like being with you."

"I can't remember sleeping in here without you." Cassius said, rubbing his forehead, as Remus walked towards him. "How long has it been?"

"It's been a long time." Remus said with a loving smile. "Since we mated." When Remus had gone to France on business the year before, Cassius had stayed at Stevens' flat.

"How will I manage after you leave?" Cassius pulled Remus to him tightly, he sounded sad.

"I won't go to Hogwarts." Remus said, his cheek resting on Cassius' bare chest. After reading about the separation illness, he was worried about being away from his mate – in spite of his desire to be at Hogwarts.   
"I'll stay with you."

"Damn it, Remus! At dinner, you wanted to go so badly you almost broke all the bones in my hand! You're going. It's settled." Cassius said sharply. Remus pulled away slightly but before he could say anything, Cassius continued. "You're going. I'll deal, we'll deal."

"I love you so much, husband." Remus stood on tip-toe to kiss Cassius and then tried to look into his eyes. Cassius wouldn't meet his gaze. "I want to be at Hogwarts, I've always wanted to be a professor there. And I want to help protect Harry. If it gets too dangerous, I'll come home." Cassius looked at him then.

"What if it's already too dangerous?"

"They wouldn't keep the school open if they thought that."

"True." Cassius agreed reluctantly. Remus kissed him again slowly and tenderly, coaxing a small murmur of pleasure out of Cassius.

"I love you, Cass."

"I love you, too, Remus. And we're not fucking, so don't get any ideas." Cassius smiled ruefully.

"I…" Remus blushed and let go of Cassius. "I wasn't getting any ideas."

"Really? What was that I felt against my leg then?" Cassius said over his shoulder as he walked to the bed and crawled in.

"Well – all right, I was getting ideas, but it's just because you were kissing me." Remus answered.

"You kissed me." Cassius yawned and closed his eyes, burrowing his head into his pillow.

"Whatever." Remus walked around to his side of the bed. Cassius always slept on the side of the bed closest to the door. Remus climbed under the covers. "If I don't get any ideas, can I snuggle with you?" He asked hopefully.

"Snuggle away." Cassius sounded half asleep already. Remus quickly moved close to him. He curled up along Cassius' left side, reaching out to trace over the magical writing on his right collarbone. Over the five years Cassius had had the tattoo, the action had become comforting to Remus.

"This isn't snuggling." Cassius said softly after Remus had traced over the writing several times. Remus' fingers were leaving trails of desire in their wake like they always did.

"Yes it is." Remus replied just as softly. Cassius shivered as Remus' warm breath caressed his bite mark.

"It's not – it's stroking."

"That's just semantics." Remus said smiling as Cassius shivered again.

"Well, it's giving me ideas, so stop it."

"Sorry." Remus stilled his hand. After a moment, Cassius heaved a big sigh.

"It's too late." Cassius' eyes flew open and met twinkling amber eyes just a few inches away.

"I have a solution." Remus said cheerfully.

"What is that?" Cassius' eyes narrowed.

"This." Remus latched on to the bite mark on Cassius' left shoulder and started to suck. Cassius let out a short groan. Remus licked and sucked at the bite mark, occasionally scraping his teeth over it. Cassius' breath quickened. Remus could feel the heat of it against his ear. Cassius' hands came up and tangled in Remus' hair. Remus nipped sharply at the bite mark and Cassius let out a short moan. Cassius was always fairly quiet when they had sex, like he was afraid of being too noisy. Remus used all the tricks he had learned over the years and succeeded in getting Cassius to groan out pleas and cry out words of love between quick, panting breaths. After they had both found their release, without actually joining together, Remus lay, sweaty and exhausted, surrounded by Cassius' strong arms.

"Where did you learn all that?" Cassius sounded stunned.

"From you." Remus smiled contentedly, nuzzling closer to his mate's heat.

"Even that thing you did with your tongue?"

"Uh huh." Remus tightened his arms around Cassius. "You yelled out my name." Remus thought he might burst with pride.

"Yes, I did."

"You've never done that before."

"Haven't I?" Cassius murmured drowsily.

"No – you hardly ever talk." Cassius was silent as he turned on his side and wrapped his limbs around Remus. "Cass?"

"Mmm." Cassius buried his face in the crook of Remus' neck. Remus wrapped his arms around his mate tenderly.

"I liked it when you yelled my name." Remus whispered. "I love you so much."

"Just…." Cassius whispered back.

"What?"

"Don't stay away."

"I won't." Remus waited, Cassius always told Remus 'I love you' before he fell asleep. "Cass?" He could hear the steady breathing that signaled Cassius was asleep. Remus pressed a kiss to Cassius' jaw. He leant back a bit and traced over the straight eyebrows and down Cassius' long nose. He was very handsome. Remus felt his heart quicken as he looked at his mate. He kissed Cassius again.


	19. Rituals

This is a bit of a short chapter but I wanted to update. Keep those reviews coming! They make my day – I'm a little depressed because I am looking for a job and no one seems to want to hire me. So…concentrating on my fan fiction makes me happy. Except these next few chapters are going to be rather angsty…be prepared. :-)

Chapter 19 - Rituals

The next morning, Cassius shook Remus' shoulder gently. "Remus…." Another shake. "Remus."

"Mmmm." Remus answered sleepily.

"Could you shave me before I go work?" Cassius had been leaving before Remus was awake the past few days and had missed his morning shaves.

"Mmm…" Remus lifted his hand and felt Cassius' face without opening his eyes. "You're not that bad." He burrowed his face into his pillow. Cassius had woken him up several times during the night with his tossing and turning.

"Yes I am. Your face is all bumbley from rubbing me last night…and there's a meeting with Fudge this morning. Please?"

"Fine, fine, I'll do it." Remus opened his eyes reluctantly. "Where's my tea?"

"Here." Cassius straightened and reached over to the nightstand where the tea was waiting. Remus sat up and Cassius handed it to him.

"My face is bumbley?" Remus tilted his head, looking at his mate curiously.

"Yes." Cassius answered, twining his fingers together with Remus'. Lately, Remus had noticed Cassius using words Remus had never heard of, they seemed made up as if Cassius couldn't remember the correct ones. A few days ago when he'd come for dinner, Stevens had asked Remus how Cassius was sleeping because he seemed tired. Remus had said the long days and nights at the Ministry were taking their toll on him. Stevens had said he would talk to Moody. Remus had thought that was odd…Moody was no longer in charge of the aurors… And anyway, all the aurors were on the same schedule, why should Cassius get special treatment, other than the fact he was Moody's favorite? He noticed Cassius was still looking at him.

Remus swung his legs off the bed and stood up as he gulped down the tea feeling the caffeine flow into his system. He walked out of the bedroom into the bathroom with Cassius following him. As Cassius sat on the counter next to the sink, Remus reached for the razor and the shaving cream. "You know, you could start doing this…looking in the mirror and everything."

"Why? You do it for me."

"What about when I'm at Hogwarts?" Remus smoothed the shaving cream over Cassius' cheeks and chin.

"I'll grow a beard." Cassius reached his hands out and placed them on Remus' waist pulling him in between Cassius' long legs.

"You'll have to trim it or it will look bad." Remus started shaving. "So you'll have to look in a mirror." Remus had started trying to convince Cassius to look in a mirror once they had found out his mother hadn't killed herself because Cassius reminded her of his father. As far as Remus knew, Cassius still hadn't.

"Dumbledore doesn't trim his."

"I bet he does." Remus tilted Cassius' head to the side, running the razor over Cassius' cheek.

"You ask him."

"You'd really grow a beard?" Remus tilted Cassius' head to the other side, trying to imagine his mate with one.

"No…I'll just shave and cut myself. You better hope I don't bleed to death some morning."

"Don't say that." Remus stopped shaving abruptly and glared into Cassius' eyes. "I mean it, Cassius Lupin."

"Merlin! I was only joking. Would you miss me that much?" Cassius felt a flare of hope.

"Of course I would! I love you! It's not funny to joke about that. It's not."

"Remus, I shaved for years without you and survived just keen." Cassius' hot hands slipped under Remus' pajama top.

"How many years?" Remus started shaving again, deciding to ignore the odd turn of phrase.

"Umm…a few, I think."

"And I've been shaving you for much longer than that."

"Really? How many years?"

"Eight. More than eight, actually. It'll be our eight anniversary this year and I started before we mated."

"Oh…" Cassius' brows knit together as he thought about it. "Well, I still can do it. I just like you to. It's easier."

"There. You're done." Remus grabbed a washcloth and ran it under the warm water and wiped up the remaining spots of shaving cream.

"See? Easy."

"Yes, easy." Remus answered with a smile.

"Thank you." Cassius stood up from the counter. "I have to go."

"Will you be home for dinner?" Remus followed Cassius down the stairs.

"I don't know. Don't count on it. I told Tabby not to hold any meals for me." Cassius strode into the kitchen and into the mudroom. Remus waited by the fireplace for his goodbye kiss, he'd missed it the last few mornings. Cassius came back out of the mudroom, pulling on his long black trench coat.

"Be careful."

"I always am."

"Wand?"

"Check." Cassius patted his coat pocket.

"I love you. You come back to me safely. I need you. You hear me?"

"Yes." Cassius lifted Remus into his arms and held him so tightly Remus felt his back pop. "I love you."

Cassius put Remus back down on the floor and grabbed some floo powder. A moment later, he was gone. Remus wrote a quick note to Tabby asking her to wake him for breakfast and then turned and walked back upstairs slowly. He crawled back into bed on Cassius' side and held his pillow tightly. It smelled of Cassius, which was comforting. He had an hour before breakfast. He closed his eyes.

* * *

Cassius got home for dinner that night and the next few nights as well. The auror schedule had been modified so that they were working their normal 8 hour shifts in three rotations instead of two 12 hour shifts. Remus knew Moody must have talked to someone at the department. He was glad to see more of his mate, since he had only a few days before he left for Hogwarts.

* * *

"You're all packed?" Tabby asked as Remus entered the kitchen.

Remus nodded, looking over at Cassius who was standing by the window. "I'll owl when I get there."

"We need to be off – otherwise he'll miss the train." Tabby said. "I'll be waiting in the garden, Remus." She levitated his trunk out the door, allowing Remus and Cassius privacy for their goodbye. She was taking Remus to the station in the car. Remus would drive it and park it somewhere for Cassius to drive back. Tabby refused to learn to drive.

"I love you." Remus walked quickly over to his mate. Cassius looked so forlorn, it reminded Remus of someone, he couldn't think who. "I…"

"If something happens, call my name. Doesn't matter how far I am – I'll hear you. I'll get to you if I have to crawl." Cassius kissed Remus roughly and ardently, Remus felt a shimmery heat envelope him. He knew Cassius had done a spell.

"I'll be all right." Remus said.

"Tell me again." The words were a whispered plea against the skin of his neck.

"I'll be all right." Remus kissed Cassius again. "And you be safe too?"

"I will." Cassius said, letting Remus go reluctantly. "You better go. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you in June."

Author's Note: At the end of this chapter there's part of a line from Rod Stewart's song "Broken Arrow". Here's the whole line: "I want to come when you call, I'll get to you if I have to crawl." The idea for the spell that Cassius casts came from that line. I _love_ the song…and I think it's a wonderful love song that just shows such a depth of love – like Cassius has for Remus – sniffle. Wish I had my own Cassius.


	20. Apart

Author's Notes: I am glad to hear people like my idea about the separation illness, I thought it all up by my little old self. :-) Keep those reviews coming! I love them!! (Oh, there's an awkward paragraph about Cassius writing Dumbledore - I tried to smooth it out but I just couldn't so - it's awkward but we are just soldiering on with the story.)

Chapter 20 - Apart

_Dear Husband,_

> _I met Harry Potter yesterday on the train. He looks exactly like James, except he has Lily's eyes. He is small for his age and very thin. He is quiet, not like James and Lily at all. I asked Dumbledore about him today and apparently his muggle relatives treated him badly. He was even living in a cupboard before he came to Hogwarts! Can you believe that! It's horrible. I can't imagine how James and Lily would feel if they knew…maybe they do know…do you think they do? _
> 
> _There was a Dementor on the train, looking for Sirius. I managed to drive it away before it could affect the children too much but not before Harry fainted. It was horrible. They've been posted all around the school but Dumbledore refuses to let them onto the grounds. I know Dumbledore will keep Harry safe from Sirius, and he could do that even without the 'help' of the Dementors._
> 
> _I miss you already and it's only been two days. Classes start tomorrow so I hope that will keep me distracted from the thoughts of kissing you. I hope you are well. I love you so much._
> 
> _Your__ Wife_

Cassius set the scroll down. He missed Remus too, but as he reread the letter he was struck by Remus' description of Harry Potter. Cassius was appalled at Harry's treatment by his muggle relatives. Maybe he should tell Dumbledore that he was related to Harry.

He decided to write Dumbledore before he forgot. He explained that he is related through his mother to Lily Evans Potter and asked to take Harry in. Dumbledore wrote back the next day and explained it wasn't safe for Cassius to take him in. The blood protection at his relatives protects him against Voldemort and other dark wizards. Since he is a more distant relative, Cassius might not be able to offer the same protection and Dumbledore won't take the chance. Cassius writes Dumbledore that he will research the blood protection to see if he could protect Harry. But work and missing Remus keep him from concentrating on the task.

* * *

Cassius was walking to his desk when Kingsley appeared in front of him. "Cassius, I need to speak with you." He spoke hurriedly. It was a Sunday but due to Sirius Black's escape all aurors were working seven days a week. Cassius didn't mind, with Remus at Hogwarts, Cassius hated being home. He didn't sleep well without Remus and the symptoms of the separation illness were getting steadily worse. Cassius felt like he had a bad case of the muggle flu, he ached all over, had cold sweats and was _very_ irritable.

"All right." Cassius stopped in the aisle. He liked Kingsley, he was the closest thing to a friend Cassius had in the department. Kingsley had been made a senior auror soon after he and Cassius had been trapped by the thestral in Yorkshire. After the department reorganization, when Moody retired, Cassius answered to Kingsley so Cassius had told him about Remus, which of course meant that when Remus worked at the Ministry Kingsley had always made Cassius take reports to the Ludicrous Patents office when they could have just been sent through the Ministry mail service.

"I wanted to tell you before you found out from someone else. There's been a sighting of Sirius Black." Kingsley seemed tense. Cassius felt a familiar sense of unease and dread bubble up at the sound of his cousin's name.

"Where?" He asked quickly.

"At Hogwarts, last night. He attacked the portrait door that leads to the Gryffindor dormitory." Kingsley was watching him closely.

"He was _inside_ Hogwarts?" Cassius felt icy fear trickle down his spine. Remus was at Hogwarts. He knew he should have tried harder to get Remus to stay at Windy Corner. What if Black was trying to kill off his only other living friend? What if he had lost his mind and thought he and Remus were still students – they had been in Gryffindor House. Everyone thought that Black was after Harry Potter but Cassius couldn't discount the possibility that Black might try to hurt or kill Remus…or reunite with him. Cassius grit his teeth.

"Yes, he slashed the portrait when she wouldn't let him inside. Then he disappeared. No one knows how he got in or how he got away."

Cassius wondered if Remus would help Black – no, that wasn't possible, it couldn't be. Remus thought Black had betrayed the Marauders, he wouldn't help him. But what if he forgave him…what if he still loved him? Cassius was positive that Remus and Black had been in love. Remus had said he'd only fooled around, but Cassius had always thought it had been more significant than Remus had admitted. Would Remus help his old boyfriend, his first love? Cassius started to turn away, towards the floo network access. He'd get to Hogsmeade then he could walk to the castle.

"I can't let you go." Kingsley caught Cassius' arm in a firm grip.

"What?" Cassius growled, feeling anger surge through him.

"It's too…" Kingsley paused as another auror walked by them. "Listen, _mate_." The emphasis was slight, but there. "I can't let you. I need you to investigate a sighting of He Who Must Not Be Named in the Black Forest."

Cassius knew Kingsley was trying to help, but Cassius was too tired, too scared and too angry to appreciate Kingsley's actions. He felt a wave of energy roll off of him and before he thought about it he had hexed Kingsley. Bartleby walked by just as it happened and Kingsley suspended Cassius, sending him home for that day and ordered him not to return for three more days. When he got home, he was in a terrible temper. He smashed all the dishes in the kitchen before he could get himself under control. He sat down at the kitchen table and put his head in his hands.

Orlie, Remus' owl, arrived through the kitchen window. He landed on the kitchen table, amid the shards of dishes, and hooted softly. Cassius imagined it was a hoot of reproach. Orlie held out his leg and Cassius took the scroll off.

> _Dearest Husband,_
> 
> _You've probably already heard Sirius was here last night. He slashed the Fat Lady's portrait. He must have been trying to get to Harry. Luckily, all the students were at the Halloween Feast in the Great Hall. Please don't worry about me. I am all right. Except that I miss you. My body aches from missing the feeling of your skin against mine. I miss hearing your voice. I miss being able to tell you I love you every day. I do love you._
> 
> _Tabby says you're not eating or sleeping well. I've put up with you ordering me to eat more for years, so it feels strange to be worried about you…. Darling, please take care of yourself. I will owl again soon._
> 
> _I love you,_
> 
> _Your Devoted Wife_

Cassius sat down, shoving the broken dishes off the table. Cursing Tabby's meddling, he conjured up a scroll and wrote a quick reply to Remus, trying to keep his writing legible.

_Wife,_

_I miss you too. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. _

_ I love you,_

_ Husband_

As cold sweat broke out over his body, Cassius felt a slight tinge of guilt at the lie in the letter, but he didn't want Remus worrying about him on top of the separation illness. He didn't want Remus distracted from his teaching – or distracted if he was attacked by Sirius Black. He tied the scroll to Orlie's leg and the owl flew out the window.

Tabby came into the kitchen a moment later.

"What happened?" She asked, looking around at the shattered pottery all over the kitchen.

Cassius handed her the letter from Remus. "I got suspended from work for three days."

"For what?" Tabby asked as she looked at the letter, Cassius noticed her eyes widen as she read the first part of it.

"I hexed Kingsley. He wouldn't let me to Hogwarts."

"That's for the best, I'm sure." Tabby rubbed Cassius' back. "Kingsley is a smart wizard." Cassius shrugged. "Do you want a cuppa tea?"

"No." Cassius said sullenly. Tabby smoothed a hand through Cassius' hair. He leant into the touch. "Could I have blackberry juice?"

"Of course, my dearie." Tabby waved her wand and repaired all the dishes then turned and walked towards the pantry where she kept the blackberries. She returned in a moment with a pitcher of juice. She placed it in front of Cassius and got him a glass.

"Thanks." Cassius gulped it down and poured himself another glass. He was very thirsty.

"I'll be baking this morning, any requests?"

"Cinnamon rolls?" Cassius asked hopefully.

"Certainly. Anything for my lad." Tabby smiled lovingly at him. Cassius had become very dear to Tabby over the twelve years he had lived at Windy Corner. He was like the son she had never had. She watched as he yawned. She was glad that she'd put a sleeping potion in his juice, since he was already tired he wouldn't suspect anything. She knew she wouldn't be able to fool him often but she was going to take advantage of the situation while she could. He needed sleep badly but he refused to take sleeping potions.

"I think I'll go bed, since I can't work." Cassius stood and pulled off his coat.

"You've been working hard, you deserve the rest."

"All right." Cassius yawned again and walked up to his bedroom. He collapsed on the bed, pulling Remus' pillow towards him. It felt lonely not to hear the beat of Remus' heart next to his. He was asleep a moment later.

The next chapter will be up soon!


	21. Sleepless

Author's Notes: This story is about half over so don't be worried about it ending anytime soon. :-) This is a chapter I've had written for a while, it's been planned since the very early stages of Cassius' character development. I totally want to hear what you all think about this so please, please let me know what you think in your reviews! :-)

Disclaimers: JK Rowling created Harry Potter and his universe. I am not making any money from this. I only lay claim to the characters of Cassius Malfoy, Stevens, Tabby and Clara and the properties of the werewolf bond and separation illness as described in this story.

Chapter 21 - Sleepless

Over a month later, feeling achier, and more tired and forgetful, Cassius felt the need to see his brother, Lucius. He really wanted to see Poppy, the nurse at Hogwarts, but he knew he couldn't go there, so Lucius was the next best thing. He went into his room to get changed. He was in a foul mood, Tabby was always trying to get him to eat or drink and he had figured out she was slipping him sleeping potions. Stevens had started staying over, he was looking for a new place to live, and was constantly asking him how he was sleeping and eating.

Stevens had been one of Cassius' best friends since Hogwarts. He was two years ahead of Cassius in school but they had been in Ravenclaw and on the house Quidditch team. They had remained in touch after school and Stevens was part of Cassius' family now, along with Remus, Tabby and Moody. Stevens was on the Chudley Cannons Quidditch team but it was the off-season so he was around all the time. Cassius wished Quidditch would start up again. He slept better when Stevens was over but he hated Stevens hovering around treating him like a child so recently he had taken to avoiding him.

After tying his boots, he Apparated and a moment later was standing outside the front door of Malfoy Manor. He lifted the heavy knocker and banged it on the door three times. After another moment, Narcissa answered the door. He was surprised to see her, Dobby usually opened the door, Cassius wondered where he was.

"Cassius! This is a pleasant surprise." She stood back and waved him inside where she gave him a warm hug. Cassius forced a polite smile to his face. His left temple throbbed and he felt a cold sweat break out all over his body.

"Is Luke home?"

"Yes, he's in his study. Is everything all right?" Narcissa looked at him with concern. She was very fond of her husband's brother, she wondered if something had gone wrong with his secret lover.

"Fine." Cassius answered coolly. Narcissa knew better than to push a Malfoy man into giving confidences. She hoped that her husband would be able to help, she sensed this was more than a social visit. They walked silently down the hall to the study door. She knocked once on the door.

"Yes?" Lucius voice called from inside.

"Lucius, your brother is here to see you." Narcissa opened the door. Lucius stood up from his desk quickly.

"Cass! This is a surprise." A smile lightened Lucius' usually stern features.

"She said the same." Cassius smiled back.

"Well, it's been a while since you've visited." Lucius surveyed his younger brother. He looked ill and he was thinner than the last time they had visited. Narcissa stepped back through the doorway and shut the door behind her quietly.

"I…has it?" Cassius answered.

"Yes, you haven't visited since Draco's birthday, back in June." Lucius tilted his head questioningly.

"Oh." Cassius' hand rubbed his forehead. With a sinking feeling, Lucius recognized that gesture, although he hadn't seen it in years.

"You're not sleeping well." Lucius turned towards the drink cabinet, he felt tears prick at his eyes. 'Malfoys don't cry.' He could hear his father's voice echoing in his head and blinked the tears back quickly.

"I..I am too." Cassius sounded like a chastised 5 year old.

"You're not. Don't lie to me, I can tell, I'm your brother." Lucius answered smoothly.

"I know, it's not like I'd forget." Cassius said petulantly as he sat down in a chair in front of the fire. Lucius poured a glass of sherry for himself and for his brother. As he did, he remembered a day years ago when he had come home and his brother had indeed forgotten that very fact.

"So, what's going on?" Lucius asked casually as he crossed the room and handed one of the glasses to Cassius before sitting down opposite of him.

"Nothing. I just can't you visit?" Cassius looked at the glass in his hand before taking a sip.

Lucius took a sip of his sherry. It was a muggle drink, but he was rather fond of it. "Of course. I'm always glad to see you."

"I…I wanted to see you." Suddenly, Lucius remembered the old spell that had been put on Cassius. It was a failsafe, in case his memory got too bad. It would trigger the impulse to come to Lucius for help. Lucius had forgotten about it, he smiled slightly at the irony.

"Cassius Malfoy, tell me what's wrong." He spoke firmly, the command would trigger a truthful answer.

"I'm not sleeping well." Cassius muttered. He felt silly admitting it, having just denied it a moment ago, but he suddenly felt he had to tell Lucius the truth.

"Ah." Lucius waited to hear if Cassius would say why.

"My…um…you know…he's not home."

"He left you?" Lucius asked quickly, surprised. This lover had been with Cassius for 9 years, Lucius thought everything was going well.

"No – no, he got a job…away…and he's gone…a while, I think."

"Ah." Lucius waited for Cassius to continue.

"I can't sleep without him." Cassius stopped short of telling Lucius about the separation illness that was affecting him because his lover was a werewolf – he didn't think Lucius would take that news well and in his present condition Cassius didn't want a confrontation.

"And how's work?" Lucius asked.

"Black is still escaping us." Lucius noted how his brother started chewing his fingers when he thought about Sirius. He always got agitated when Sirius was discussed.

"Well, stay here tonight. We'll have dinner – I notice you haven't been eating well either?" Cassius nodded his head. "After dinner, I'll give you my special sleeping potion so you can get some rest." Lucius smiled fondly at his brother's scowl. "I know you don't like it, but I insist, you need it."

* * *

At breakfast, while Cassius was still sleeping from the powerful sleeping potion, Lucius and Narcissa talked about how tired Cassius had looked. Lucius decided he needed to tell Cassius' lover the truth about Cassius' memory problem. The lover needed to know that Cassius not sleeping was more serious than just being tired. He went back to his study and pulled out a plain piece of scroll. He decided he would send the letter to Alastor Moody – Cassius regarded him as a surrogate father – certainly Moody would know who Cassius' lover was.

Swallowing a large amount of Malfoy pride, he wrote a quick note to Moody – asking him to deliver the enclosed letter and then started on the letter. It took him several hours to get it all down. He called to a house-elf who scampered off to have the letter owled to Moody.

* * *

Four days later at Hogwarts, Remus received an owl. He recognized Moody's scrawling writing.

> _This letter came to me to give to you – you will see who it is from. I received it a few days ago, but I wanted to make sure there was not a hex on it before sending it on to you._

Remus got up from the staff table in the Great Hall and walked quickly to his office. Once inside, he did a locking spell on the door. He paced back and forth a few minutes…he knew this had to be from Lucius…but why was Lucius writing to him? He took a deep breath, sat down, and opened the letter.

> _Dear Brother-In-Law,_
> 
> _I don't know what name to call you – Cassius has never mentioned your name. For years, I have debated about telling you the truth about my brother's memory problems…and today, I think it is time you know. You were probably told that it was a memory charm that went badly...it was much more than that._
> 
> _When Cassie was twelve, the summer before his second year at Hogwarts, he and my father visited our Aunt and Uncle Black at their house in __London__. Our cousin, Sirius Black, pulled a prank on his brother, he often did things like that and usually no one was badly hurt. This time was the exception – Regulus was knocked unconscious and badly burned. Knowing he would get in real trouble, Sirius blamed Cassie. Our father was furious. Cassie denied he had done anything. When they returned home, Father punished him for the prank and for lying about doing it. He used the Cruciatus Curse. _

Remus gasped. He knew Julius Malfoy had physically beaten both his sons, but Remus was shocked Cassius' father had used an Unforgivable on him.__

> _After a while, Father believed Cassie that he hadn't done it. He left Cassie in the basement and returned to __Grimmauld Place__ to tell Aunt and Uncle Black. They were going to punish Sirius, but he ran away before they could do anything. _

Remus remembered when Sirius had run away from home, he had never learned the whole story. Sirius always said he just couldn't take his family anymore. Now Remus wondered if Sirius had known what had happened to his cousin. He swallowed hard, his stomach was churning now, and looked back down at the letter.

> _I was away on my honeymoon - I returned the following day. Father was drunk and Cassie was still in the basement, he had been left there alone for almost a full day. I am still haunted by the sight of his vacant eyes and bloody hands. (_there was a dark ink spot where Lucius had let the quill sit.) _He didn't recognize me. He didn't know his own name. I took him to Saint Mungo's. The healers had found a potion to help brain and memory damage when they were trying to cure the Longbottoms – they were too damaged for it to help them. Thank Merlin, it was able to help Cassius. _
> 
> _He doesn't remember the day of the punishment, or the weeks that followed in hospital. I think that is for the best. When he was released, right before school started, I wrote Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey so they would continue to give Cassius the potion when he returned to school. The healers told me he would have to take it daily for at least a year to allow his brain to heal as completely as possible. It took him almost two years to recover. But he never returned to the way he was before. His memory had been so sharp – he'd remember things after seeing or hearing them just once. _
> 
> _Since you and Cassius have been together, Cassius' memory has gotten better and better and so you may wonder why I am writing you all this now. I saw Cassius last night. He is thinner than the last time I saw him (in June) and very tired. He had trouble remembering things and was rubbing his forehead a lot. It's something he does when he can't remember._

Remus had a vision of Cassius rubbing his forehead, he had seen that gesture in the early days of their dating, and then when he would go on long assignments for work, being gone from Remus for four or more days. It had started happening more often after Sirius escaped.

> _I am worried about him. There was an spell put on him when he was 13, that he would come to either Madam Pomfrey or me if his memory got bad enough so we could take the needed action. That spell was activated last night. He told me you are away for your job. I hope you will be able to return home to him – if only for a little while – to help him get some sleep or insist he take sleeping potions nightly. When he doesn't have enough sleep, his memory gets bad again. The healers told me that extended periods of not sleeping cause strain on his memory and could result in re-damaging his brain. _
> 
> _Cassius thinks he is being treated like a child when he has to take sleeping potions, and he hates that. I hope you can convince him otherwise. I think you will be able to do it because he loves you._
> 
> _Although we've never met, I know we have one thing in common – our love for Cassius. I hope someday we will be able to meet, I would very much like to meet the man my brother loves so much._
> 
> _Lucius Malfoy_

Remus took a deep breath. He was glad Lucius had written to tell him this information. Lucius was indeed a good brother. While Remus still wasn't sure if Lucius was a good person, he did love Cassius…and so did Remus. He stood and started towards Dumbledore's office.


	22. Dumbledore's Memories

Author's Notes: Thank you to the two people who reviewed the last chapter! Your reviews made my day! :-) And now…

**Chapter 22 – Dumbledore's Memories**

"I need permission to go home for a few days during the Christmas Holiday." Remus sat in a chair in Dumbledore's office a few minutes later, the letter from Lucius still clutched in his hand.

"Of course. How is Cassius?" Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled. "I take it the separation is affecting him like it's affecting you?"

"Well, he's…" Remus suddenly stared at Dumbledore. "H-how did you know?" As far as Remus knew, only Moody, Tabby, Kingsley, and Stevens knew about his relationship with Cassius.

"Moody told me, years ago." Dumbledore smiled. "Cassius is a fine young man. He was a favorite of mine during his years here."

"His brother just wrote me…about something that happened before Cassius' second year." Remus spoke softly. Dumbledore would know what he was talking and confirm that Lucius had written the truth.

"Ah – the source of his memory problem, you mean?" Remus nodded. "Yes, I know the truth. Lucius told me when Cassius returned for his second year." Dumbledore looked somber. "Cassius was a highly gifted student when he entered Hogwarts. He had what muggles call a 'photographic memory.' He was rightly sorted into Ravenclaw. I thought he would be the best student in over a century…before his father changed all that."

"But he still got into the auror program." Remus said. Only the best and smartest wizards became aurors.

"Yes – he did. He was still one of the best students Hogwarts has ever seen, but it required much more effort, more repetition. Professor Flitwick used to pull his hair out - Charms were especially hard because Cassie had to memorize the saying and the corresponding wand movement. It took him two years to master a simple drying charm. We had a party when he was finally able to do it." Dumbledore smiled at the memory. "It was over the summer - Cassie stayed here during holidays and summers, he never returned to Malfoy Manor to live."

"I didn't know Cass at school." Remus looked down at his hands. "How bad was it?"

"You saw for yourself once…I don't think you had any idea what was going on, it's not surprising you don't remember."

"I don't?" Remus felt very surprised. Surely he'd remember meeting Cassius when they were at school together.

"You don't need memory damage in order to forget small things." Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled. He got up and went over to a cupboard. Opening it, he pulled out a pensieve. He set it down in front of Remus. He pulled a silvery thought from his temple and put it into the pensieve. "This was the night I realized it would take a long time for Cassie to recover – if he ever did. He would make progress only to regress…one step forward, two steps back. We were all very worried for him."

Remus looked down into the silvery pensieve.

* * *

Suddenly, with a swirling jerk, he was in one of the hallways of the school. He could see a student walking down a hall towards the soft sound of crying. Remus turned to his left and saw Dumbledore standing there, watching. "Lumos." The student's wand lit and Remus saw himself, younger, a prefect badge on his robes. A boy with silvery blonde hair was sitting on the floor next to a statue. He was curled up, his arms hugging his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, tears streaming down his face. The crying sounded desperate and forlorn. Remus the adult recognized the face instantly – it was Cassius, he looked very young and very scared.

"What are you doing in this corridor? It's off limits to students." Remus the Prefect asked in a calm voice. The boy didn't answer. "Why aren't you in your dorm?"

"I don't know." A whisper finally answered him.

"You don't know?" Remus watched as his younger self started to look puzzled. The boy lowered his head onto his knees and continued to rock. "The Ravenclaw dorms are in the North Tower." Remus spotted the crest on the boy's school robe, just like his younger self had

"Don't know where is."

Remus the Prefect looked even more puzzled. After a moment of deliberation, he spoke again. "Come on, I'll walk you there, I know where it is." He held his hand out to help the boy up. The younger boy didn't seem to notice, he was still rocking, his crying muffled. Remus put his hand on the boy's shoulder and crouched down next to him. "Hey, it's all right. Shhh.. .Don't cry. I'll help you." His voice was soothing and his hand moved to rub the boy's back. The boy's tear streaked face lifted up. He gazed at Remus a long moment.

"Are you my friend?" The boy asked forlornly, fresh tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Of course I am." The words seemed to tumble out of the young man's mouth, accompanied by a gentle smile. "My name's Remus." He held out his hand again. As Cassius' small hand reached out and latched on to the hand of his younger self, Remus suddenly remembered this encounter. It had been the first time he had ever held hands with someone, other than his parents. Remus remembered the warm sensation he had felt when the boy had taken his hand. The small, pale hand had looked so fragile in his larger one. He had suddenly wanted to take care of this strange, confused boy. As he stood, he looked down thoughtfully at the boy. "Why don't we see Madam Pomfrey, she'll heal your hand."

The boy nodded and raised his other hand, wiping his eyes with it, smearing blood on his face. All the fingertips were bloody and torn. Remus the Prefect reached down and wiped the blood off the pale cheek. "You're all right now. I've got you." Remus smiled as he heard his younger self's comforting words, they were what his mother had always said to him after the full moon. He turned and led the boy back down the corridor. In the archway stood Dumbledore.

"Mr. Lupin." Dumbledore said calmly. "I will take over from here."

"Certainly, Sir." Remus the Prefect answered politely.

"Come along, my boy." Dumbledore extended his hand towards Cassius. Cassius looked up at Remus, seeking direction. Remus the prefect nodded, blushing that the boy wouldn't obey Dumbledore without checking with him first. Cassius immediately let go of the prefect's hand and reached towards Dumbledore's. Dumbledore grasped the smaller hand in his and they started down the hallway. Remus the Prefect stood watching them walk away for a moment.

Remus remembered wondering why Dumbledore was holding the student's hand, he'd never seen that happen before. Then he had turned and run towards the Gryffindor common room, he remembered feeling anxious to hold Sirius's hand and see if that warm feeling happened again. That night was the first time he and Sirius had kissed after months of flirting. The encounter with the strange boy had been driven from his mind by Sirius's mouth and hands. The adult Remus followed Dumbledore and the young Cassius, forcing the memories of Sirius to the back of his mind.

"Where going?" Cassius asked, skipping to keep up with Dumbledore's quick, long steps.

"We are going to see Poppy." Dumbledore answered gently. "She has some warm milk and food waiting for you. Are you hungry, Cassie?" Dumbledore looked down at the boy who nodded. "You got lost on the way to dinner, didn't you?" Remus realized that meant Cassius had been lost for over 4 hours by the time his younger self had found him.

"I was look for Luke."

"Luke is at home, Cassie."

"Not home?"

"No, Cassie, this is your school. Poppy!" Dumbledore called as they entered the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey came out of her office quickly.

"Cassie!" She embraced the small boy in a tight hug. "We didn't realize you'd gotten lost until lights out." She pressed a kiss to the top of Cassius' head. "Come along, I have dinner for you." She hustled him into her rooms. Dumbledore and Remus followed. Remus had never been in Poppy's rooms. They were warm, inviting and very neat, like the woman herself. She did a quick healing spell on his hand as she sat Cassius down at the table, in front of a full plate of food and a large goblet of milk. Remus suspected there was a sleeping potion mixed in with the milk. Cassius started to eat immediately.

"You found him?" Poppy asked quietly, she had walked back over to Dumbledore after Cassius started eating.

"Mr. Lupin did, shortly before I." Dumbledore answered in an equally hushed voice.

"Hmm….we should discuss the need for a chaperone, at all times…until his memory…" Poppy said as she gazed worriedly at the small blonde boy.

"What about Owen Jones?" Dumbledore said, following Poppy's gaze.

"Jones would be an excellent choice, they are already friends." Poppy nodded.

"I will tell Stevens as well – he's Quidditch captain, Cassie is on the team, provided his memory allows. I will speak to them both first thing tomorrow." They were both distracted by a loud yawn coming from Cassius. He had eaten everything on his plate and now his eyelids were drooping.

"Now, to bed with you." Poppy walked briskly over to him and helped Cassius from the table. She walked with him into the ward and tucked him into a bed. He was asleep a second later. "I will inform his brother of our plan tomorrow when he comes to visit."

* * *

With a rush, Remus was back in Dumbledore's office. "I remember that now. I couldn't believe any first year could have gotten so confused and lost that they forgot where their own house was."

"Cassie was one of the only first years never to get lost in Hogwarts." Dumbledore smiled. "What you saw happened three months into his second year - five months after his father used the Cruciatus Curse on him. It was another couple months before we started to see any real improvement."

"I never found out his name…that must be why I didn't realize I'd met him before." Remus said thoughtfully.

"He had trouble remembering his name then." Dumbledore shook his head slightly. "Cassius doesn't remember the meeting either, not consciously. He thinks you first met at Moody's…when he was 19. I remember I had never seen Cassie so unguarded around someone he did not know. He told Moody after you left that he was going to marry you. He said he knew the moment you spoke. I think that feeling had its beginning with your meeting in the hallway seven years before, when you found him."

Remus felt a warm feeling pool in his stomach. He missed his mate so much his heart ached. "Does Cass know why his memory is bad?"

"No… We discussed it and decided Cassie had suffered enough by his father's hand. Better to not tell him what could have been… he doesn't seem to remember being any other way…Certainly, we thought it was for the best at the time. But as his mate…you are perhaps better able to make that decision."

"I…I don't know…I think you're right…his father has done far too much." Dumbledore nodded. "What happened to Owen Jones?" Remus had never heard Cassius mention that name.

"He, Cassius and Stevens were great friends, inseparable. They were so much alike, sometimes you couldn't tell where one left off and the other began. Stevens and Cassius are still like that. Unfortunately, Owen was killed, by Death Eaters, several months after graduation."

"Oh…" Remus swallowed hard. So many people had lost their lives to Death Eaters like Cassius' brother Lucius. "And Lucius came to visit him?"

"Yes, he came daily at first, then weekly. It helped Cassie's healing to have his brother visit."

"Did his father ever come?" Remus asked.

"No…Julius Malfoy was never the same after… Although he'd been abusive, he still loved both his sons – in his own way. But on that day, he realized he'd gone too far. The shame of it drove him mad, he was never again the wizard he had been." Dumbledore spoke sadly. "Lucius became the head of the family that tragic day, he lost his father and feared that he would lose his brother as well. He did everything in his power to help Cassie, including coming to me, one of his enemies, for help. He loves Cassius very much."

"I just can't believe…" Remus trailed off. Dumbledore put his wand to his head again and pulled another silvery thread out and put it in the pensieve.

"I know you see a different side to Lucius Malfoy. Have a look at a side Cassie has seen often, I was able to witness this during one of his visits a month later. I hold on to this moment when I am tempted to see the world in black and white. Everyone has shades of grey."

Remus leaned forward again and felt the same sensation as he entered Dumbledore's memory.

* * *

Lucius Malfoy looked in his mid-twenties. His smooth silver blonde hair cascaded down past his shoulders. His grey eyes were focused affectionately on Cassius who was sitting at a desk writing on a scroll. Cassius' tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth and his brow was furrowed in concentration.

"There!" Cassius held out the scroll triumphantly. Lucius took it in his hand, his long fingers reminding Remus strongly of his Cassius – the adult.

"Cassius Julian Aurelius Malfoy. You spelled it all correctly!" Lucius smiled, he sat down next to Cassius. The smile lit up his face. Remus had never known Lucius had a dimple on his right cheek. Cassius sprang up from the desk and hurled himself at his brother, landing in his lap.

"And look – it's all…flow-ey." Cassius pointed at the scroll.

"Yes, it's all in script, I see that. It's very nice, Cassie." Lucius put his arms around his brother. At twelve, Cassius hadn't started his growth spurt yet and looked quite small against his tall brother. Lucius rested his head affectionately against Cassius'. "What else has happened since my last visit?"

"Professor Sprout's sister is a cat!" Cassius said excitedly.

"A cat?" Lucius picked his head up, looking at his brother with concern.

"Well – she's not really a cat – she's a witch – she changes into a cat, like Professor McGonagall…it's a big word." Cassius rubbed his forehead. Remus recognized the gesture immediately. Lucius gently took his brother's hand.

"Animagus?"

"What?" Cassius looked confused.

"Animagus. That's the big word we call wizards and witches when they can change into animals."

"Oh…what is it again?"

"Animagus."

"Write it for me?"

"Certainly." Lucius let go of Cassius' hand, picked up the quill and wrote it on the scroll. "There, see? An-i-ma-gus." Lucius traced his long finger under the word. Cassius looked at the paper and mouthed the word. Lucius glanced over at the clock on the wall. "I must be going. But I will be back for your birthday. How many days is that?"

"Five." Cassius answered promptly with a degree of pride. "Do you have to go now?"

"Yes, Narcissa is waiting for me."

"Narcissa…"

"Narcissa, my wife, the lady who came with me to visit you last week?"

"When did you get married?" Cassius suddenly looked upset.

"Over the summer…you were there, you just don't remember." Lucius answered gently, rubbing Cassius' arm soothingly. "I will bring the photos next time to show you."

"And you'll bring my present, too?" Cassius looked up at his brother.

"Present?" Lucius arched his eyebrow.

"You're getting me a birthday present, aren't you? That's what Owen says people do on birthdays or Christmas, when people love you…they get you presents….and…you love me." Cassius had started to sound uncertain halfway through his speech and was now chewing on his fingers. Cassius always did that when he was upset or agitated. Remus wondered if Cassius' habit had only started after being tortured by his father.

"Cassie, I was teasing. Of course, I have presents for you. I love you." Lucius pressed a kiss to his brother's forehead. "Don't bite your fingers." Lucius gently took both his brother's hands in his. "Now, you'll listen to Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore while I'm gone?" Cassius nodded. "Do you want to walk me out? You have to remember the way all by yourself."

"I know it, I practice all week."

"You practiced." Lucius corrected softly.

"I practiced. I haven't got, I mean, gotten lost in three days." Cassius smiled proudly at his brother. Lucius returned the smile then let go of his hands and Cassius stood up. Lucius stood too, towering over his brother. Professor Dumbledore came into the room a few steps.

"I have a few notes for you from Mr. Malfoy's professors." Dumbledore held out some scrolls. "Also, here's some of his work, I thought you would want to see his progress."

"Thank you." Lucius said graciously, taking the scrolls and putting them in the pocket of his robe.

"I'm going to walk him to the front doors." Cassius grabbed his brother's hand and started towards the doorway.

"What do we say, Cassius?" Lucius stopped him, tugging on Cassius' hand.

"Excuse us, Professor." Cassius said in a cool imitation of Lucius' voice, Dumbledore nodded, his blue eyes twinkling.

As Lucius passed Dumbledore, he said "Thank you" again very quietly. Dumbledore smiled.

* * *

Remus felt himself return to Dumbledore's office. "He really had to relearn his name?"

"Yes…it took him several weeks to spell Aurelius correctly."

"So he had to relearn everything?"

"No, not everything - as time went by, his memory came back and he would remember some of what he had known before the trauma. But he never regained some memories. And because his brain was trying to heal, not many new memories were made, especially so in his 2nd year. Towards the middle of his 3rd year he started to retain more. A occasional Quidditch game, a few of Lucius' visits, some of his adventures with Jones and Stevens, winning the Quidditch cup, the more spectacular pranks the Marauders pulled." Dumbledore smiled gently. Remus smiled too, although he felt tears coming to his eyes…James and Sirius had played many pranks – helped by Remus and Peter. If only Sirius hadn't betrayed them all…it had been so wonderful then – before he had known what Sirius was capable of. "Lucius insisted Madam Pomfrey gave Cassie a strong sleep potion around the time of his OWLS and NEWTS. She dotes on him, so it wasn't difficult to convince her. We all knew he wanted to be an auror so he needed good marks_._ Lack of sleep adds additional strain to his memory."

"That's why he wrote – Cass isn't sleeping well without me – only Lucius doesn't know the real reason for that."

"Once the term is over, in a few days, you may return home. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes, thank you, sir."

The next chapter will be posted next Saturday! Preview: Remus goes home!


	23. Reunited

Author's Notes: I'm going to respond to the reviews of chapters 21 and 22 here because, darn it, I want to. :-) There is some info in the comments that I think everyone might enjoy…maybe?

MJLuvsPolar: I'm glad you picked up on what I was trying to do which was to make allusions to Cassius's memory problem being more than just a normal thing. :-) And yes, Julius Malfoy (my own name and invention) is a total prick. I do also feel sad that Cassius was the one who killed Lucius (in OANR) but Lucius wanted to be free of Voldemort so in a way it's a good thing – the way I see it, although still sad. You know?

Maurynna: thanks for your continuing encouragement!

AffectedMangoO: Dumbledore refers to Cassius as Cassie (his nickname) because Cassius lived at Hogwarts for 6 years, year round so…Dumbledore was more than just the Headmaster to him. That's my reasoning there…hope that makes sense. :-) And the thing about him not getting lost – I just really wanted to contrast how he'd been before and then after.

Mon2: I'm never bored with reviews so review all you want! :-) Thank you so much for your review! (Blushing) You are too kind! If you want a Harry and Draco story, it won't happen in the FL and OANR universe but if you (or anyone) send me an idea, I'll work on writing something. :-)

Gil-Celeb: Thank you for your fantastic review of my stories! I am glad you were inspired to review and I hope you will do it again soon! I was so proud of myself after reading your wonderful compliments!! I hope I am addressing your concern in my other story now – let me know! And I do have some ideas for Harry and Draco growing up and leaving the nest. :-)

Thanks for all the constructive comments and feedback, it helps me to be a better writer which is my goal!! Also, I'm kind of introducing some new character background (about Owen Jones) and I hope it's not too out of left field. Let me know so I can fix it. It makes sense to me but…you know how that goes. :-)

**Chapter 23 – Reunited (and it feels so good!)**

Cassius lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, on the floor in the room at the end of the hall on the second floor. Remus used the room when he transformed on full moons. There was a bed in the corner, and some miscellaneous pieces of furniture. The room had been Owen's, he had lived here, after graduation, until he died.

They'd slept together every night, either in Owen's bed or Cassius's, but Owen had wanted to have his own room, after 7 years of sharing a room at school. Cassius couldn't remember what Owen looked like anymore…it'd been so long since he had seen him. He rubbed his eyes, noticing he was crying. None of furniture was Owen's, Stevens had taken everything a few months after Owen's death, at Cassius' urging. It was too painful to have reminders of Owen around. For years he had avoided even being in Owen's room, as he still thought of it. But now, he was driven into it because it hurt too much to sleep in his - their bedroom without Remus. The two people he loved most in the world and he was without both of them. At least – he thought, he would always have Stevens. Stevens would never leave him alone – not even when Cassius lost his temper, like he had every day this week. He moved restlessly on the floor, trying to find a comfortable position.

The bed in the room smelled too much like Remus, so Cassius had taken to sleeping on the wooden floor whenever he could escape from Stevens' watchful eye. Not that he slept much. He felt like someone was pounding a spike into his temple and his body ached as though he'd been in a losing battle with a giant. He cursed Sirius Black for keeping him away from Remus. He cursed Dumbledore for offering Remus the job at Hogwarts. He cursed Tabby and Stevens for babying him, slipping him sleeping potions and trying to get him to eat more. And he cursed everyone else just for the hell of it. It made him feel a little bit better.

* * *

"Cassius?" Remus's voice floated up the stairs. Cassius didn't move. 'I must be hallucinating', he thought. Maybe this was another stage of the separation illness. He wondered idly how long it would take to die from it. None of the books he could find had an answer to that question. He heard footsteps coming up the hall. Apparently these hallucinations were quite realistic. Remus appeared in the doorway.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing in here on the floor?" Remus looked down at him in surprise.

"Go away, you're not real." Cassius closed his eyes. The footsteps got closer. Remus kneeled down next to him. Cassius could feel his hot breath on his cheek.

"I _am_ real. I've come home. Happy anniversary, husband." Remus kissed his cheek and brushed a hand through his hair. Cassius realized he hadn't been keeping track of the days, was it really their anniversary today? "Cass, open your eyes, please."

"You're really here?" Cassius opened his eyes to see Remus' amber eyes just a few inches away from his own. He was kneeling in the floor next to Cassius.

"Of course I am." Remus grabbed his hand and pulled. Cassius sat up slowly, still not sure that his senses weren't fooling him. "Do you sleep in here?"

"I try." Cassius rubbed his forehead, he couldn't remember, had Remus owled him that he would be coming home?

"Why aren't you in our bed? It has to be more comfortable than the floor." Remus tilted his head questioningly. "If you have the aches I have, I can't imagine making myself more uncomfortable by sleeping on the hard floor."

"I can't sleep without you." Cassius shrugged as he ran a hand over Remus' slender leg, it felt real. The pounding in his head was a little less now Remus was near him.

"I've missed you so much." Remus' voice was a hoarse whisper, his lips moved to cover Cassius' mouth. Cassius threw his arms around Remus, moaning as a surge of desire coursed through him. He couldn't remember the last time he had held Remus. He straddled Remus' thighs and Remus pulled him closer, burying his hands in Cassius' hair. Remus' tongue invaded his mouth and Cassius gripped Remus' shoulders, digging his fingers in, trying to pull him even closer. After a moment, Cassius felt a warmth spiraling through his body, he shuddered, rocking his hips into Remus's as he came.

Remus broke the kiss, panting, "Missed me, did you?" His amber eyes glowed. Cassius' cheeks flushed. "I'm not done with you. Come on." Remus pushed Cassius off his lap and stood up, grabbing his hand tightly. Cassius got to his feet, and followed Remus into their bedroom. He glanced out the window, judging by the position of the sun, it was just after dawn. Remus pushed him onto their bed.

"I love you." Remus quickly laid on top of Cassius, and threaded his fingers through Cassius' silky hair, holding his head in place while he kissed his face all over. He felt Cassius' long fingers slide under his shirt causing his skin to tingle from the hot touch. He moved one hand to glide over his mate's chest and was shocked to feel Cassius' ribs sticking out. He tore his mouth away.

"You need to eat more."

"Do I sound so pushy when I say that to you?" Cassius' cheeks flushed again as his hands glided over Remus' thin torso, stopping to linger over his heart.

"Yes, you do." Remus smiled then looked earnest. "You need your strength."

"I just…" Cassius' voice trailed off.

"I know. I missed you too." Remus rubbed his nose against his mate's, then nuzzled Cassius's neck. "I talked to Dumbledore, I'm here for almost a week and I'm coming home for the Easter holiday as well."

"But…"

"No – I've already cleared it. So don't argue with me." Remus said as authoritatively as possible. "Dumbledore suggested I ask Madam Pomfrey about a potion to help us so I did and she developed something, I've been testing it the past few days and it helps a lot with the symptoms. So you'll need to take that every day when I'm gone, all right?" There was silence and Cassius was avoiding his gaze. "Cassius Lupin."

"All right." Cassius sounded a little sullen.

"Good." Remus kissed him briefly. "And they both say hello."

"What?!"

"They know about us, I told Poppy but Dumbledore already knew."

"_Who_ told him?" Cassius' eyes narrowed.

"Moody did." Remus answered, inwardly wincing. Moody would get some harsh words from Cassius the next time they saw each other. Cassius felt strongly about secrets, especially since their relationship was a secret to keep Remus safe.

"That old bother! I'll jinx him in next week!" Cassius moved, struggling to get up from the bed. Remus took a deep breath, trying to stay focused on the conversation, Cassius' movements were driving him mad with need.

"Jinx him later. If you think I'm going to let you up from this bed before we've…you know…you are very mistaken." Remus felt his face get hot. He was hoping Cassius had forgotten his plan to not have sex with Remus until the school year was done. He didn't care if anyone found out about their relationship, he could defend himself.

"We're going to 'you know'?" Cassius immediately ceased his efforts to get out of bed and started grinning. Remus smiled back but he knew his face was probably bright red.

"Yes." Remus whispered. Cassius always teased him for being shy about talking about sex. His blushing had decreased over the years but hadn't completely gone away.

"Could you tell what's 'you know'?" Cassius had a mischievous look in his green eyes. "Because I think I'm not know that word."

"No! I mean…I could…of course, I could…We're…I'm…just going to show you." Remus found an escape from the conversation and sat up, pulling off his shirt quickly. Cassius's eyes glowed with desire as they skimmed over Remus's scarred chest. Cassius put his hands on Remus's hips and pushed down until Remus was right over Cassius's hardness. Cassius pushed his hips upwards and Remus took in a sharp breath. Remus looked down at Cassius – suddenly, he needed Cassius naked now. He leaned over the side of the bed and pulled his wand out of his robes and with a shaking hand he did a quick undressing charm on them both. Remus looked down at Cassius's chest. He traced his fingers over the bite mark as Cassius shivered beneath him and trailed down to the ring piercing through Cassius's left nipple. He slipped his index finger through the ring. He looked down at his hand with the two wedding bands on it now. Pressing his hand against Cassius' chest, he could feel the quickening heartbeat.

"Happy eighth anniversary, husband." Remus leaned down and whispered against Cassius' neck: "I love you." He licked over the bite mark feeling Cassius shudder beneath him. He slipped his hand free and stretched out on top of his mate, kissing Cassius until he felt dizzy from lack of oxygen.

"I love you." Cassius whispered when they finally came up for air. He turned his head to suck on the bite mark on Remus' shoulder. Remus felt himself get even more aroused, he was so hard he hurt. He kissed Cassius passionately.

"Mate with me." Remus said urgently, "Bite me."

"And then you'll…" Cassius' eyes were dilating with desire.

"Yes, but we have to keep it even. I've mated with you three times and you've only mated with me twice and it needs to be equal, you'll be stronger if it's equal." Remus had done more research while he was at Hogwarts – the restricted section had a great book on werewolves - and discovered an unequal bonding would result in worse separation illness symptoms for the mate who was bonded less.

"I missed you so much." Cassius said, stroking Remus' cheek tenderly.

"I missed you." Remus reached up and brought Cassius down for a breathtaking kiss. "I love you." Cassius separated and turned Remus over. Remus sighed as their bodies joined together. He felt complete now, he was truly home. It didn't take long before he cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure as Cassius bite down hard on his shoulder as they climaxed. He swallowed Remus' blood eagerly, causing shudders of pleasure to wrack Remus' body.

"I love you." Remus said, turning on his side to snuggle up against his mate, kissing Cassius' neck.

"I love you." Cassius murmured, pulling Remus even closer to him. "Can you do that after we sleep a bit?"

"Mmmm…you bet." Remus replied sleepily. Cassius pushed at him and moved to lay on top of him, resting his head on Remus's chest. They were both asleep in seconds, Remus held securely in Cassius's arms.


	24. Catching Up

Author's Notes: If you've been reading Old and New Relations, my other story about Remus and Cassius, you'll be familiar with the character of Clara. This chapter (and the next) is her introduction into Remus and Cassius' life. :-) Also, the character of Julius Malfoy is my own making so all information about him is all made up by my fevered imagination. :-)

**Chapter 24 – Catching Up**

Remus woke up a few hours later. He laid next to Cassius for a while, tracing over the magical writing on his collarbone, twirling his fingers through Cassius' smooth hair…it was long enough to fall into his eyes now. All the symptoms of the separation illness he'd had, helped somewhat by the potion, were now totally gone. Remus felt refreshed and energized. He gave Cassius, who was still sound asleep, another kiss and then got out of bed. Remus took a quick hot shower, noticing his bite mark was already healing, got dressed and walked down into the kitchen. Tabby turned from where she was fixing lunch. Remus smiled widely as he crossed over to hug her. He had missed her.

"I heard you received a letter from Lucius." Tabby said as they sat down to eat.

"Yes….he told me what happened when Cass was twelve…did you know?"

"My sister was at Hogwarts at the time…all the professors knew, well, they knew he'd had an accident. Dumbledore told them it was a memory charm gone bad. Only he and Poppy knew the truth. When Cassie became an auror, Dumbledore told the truth to Alastor. He knew Cassie was living here, so he told me too, so I would know."

"Why didn't they ever prosecute Julius?" Remus asked the question he'd been wanting the answer for since reading Lucius' letter.

"There wasn't any proof. Malfoy Manor is heavily warded – it's impossible to tell what spells go on there. And Lucius couldn't find the wand his father used, probably destroyed."

"Probably." Remus took a bite of his sandwich. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"At first we, that is, Stevens, Moody and I, we didn't want to tell you because we thought you might pity him. We'd thought about telling you the cover story…Then when you started becoming close, Cassie got so much better that we…we didn't think you needed to know. Everyone gets forgetful when they're tired, Cassie just does - more so." Tabby smiled ruefully. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you…but I think it's good that you heard the truth from Lucius."

"I never thought he really cared for Cass." Remus sipped his tea thoughtfully. "I mean – he's a Death Eater."

"He says he was under Imperious."

"You don't really believe that, do you?"

"No." Tabby said coldly, her eyes gazing in the distance. Remus wondered what she was remembering. After a moment, she shook her head, as if to clear it. "Cassius wants to believe it but in his heart, he knows it's not true."

"Why does he know? He always insists Lucius was under Imperious."

"Because he knows Lucius was trained to be a Death Eater from an early age…because Cassius was too."

"_Trained_ to be a Death Eater?"

"Didn't you know? Julius Malfoy and Tom Riddle were best friends at Hogwarts. They formed the Death Eaters their seventh year. It was only because Julius went mad that Voldemort became the sole leader."

"I didn't know that. So, do you think Lucius is only a Death Eater because his father made him one?"

Tabby was silent for a long time. "I don't know. I only know that I try to believe there is good in all of us. I've seen many things to make me doubt it. But the only way I get up every morning is to try to believe."

Remus and Tabby ate in companionable silence for a while.

"Stevens has been dating a lovely witch named Clara Endicott. He brought her by early last month." Tabby said with a smile, changing the subject.

"Really? Actually brought her by for an introduction?" Remus was surprised. Stevens' immediate family was dead and Cassius, Remus and Tabby were his family now. A girl was very special if Stevens brought her to Windy Corner.

"Yes, I think that's only the second time ever."

"Maureen was the other one, wasn't she?" Maureen had met Cassius and Tabby but not Remus. Cassius hadn't allowed it. She and Stevens had been serious but she'd gotten too fed up with the traveling Stevens did for Quidditch. And she claimed Stevens wouldn't tell her what his first name was. Remus couldn't blame him.

"Yes. Clara works at the Ministry in International Magical Office of Law. Did you ever meet her?"

"I did. I knew that name sounded familiar. I was in a few meetings with her but we never really talked. She was five years below me in school but we were both in Gryffindor."

"Seems to be a good match – Ravenclaw and Gryffindor." Tabby sipped her tea.

"Moody was a Gryffindor, wasn't he?" Remus said without thinking. He had recently found out that Tabby and Moody had been an item years ago.

"Yes." Tabby answered, looking at him sharply.

"Sorry – I didn't think…." Remus said, holding his hand up in a placating gesture.

"Who told you about that?"

"Your sister."

"Humph."

"I think he's an idiot for what he did."

"So do I."

"Will you ever forgive him?"

"I forgave him a long time ago…"

"So?"

Tabby shrugged in answer. After a moment, Remus decided it was best to let the subject go.

* * *

The next morning, Cassius was still sleeping. Remus hadn't disturbed him yesterday knowing he had a lot of rest to catch up on. Remus had woken early, but hadn't wanted to get out of their warm bed. He was reading a history book about magical inventions, wearing his favorite flannel pajamas. Cassius was curled up at his side, his arms surrounded Remus and their legs intertwined, his head rested over Remus's heart. Remus's stomach started to growl, he looked over at the clock noticing it was past time for breakfast. Remus put the book on the bedside table and started to inch his way out of Cassius' hold, trying not to wake him. Tabby knocked softly on the door. After checking to make sure his naked mate was adequately covered by the quilt, Remus reached for his wand and opened the door. Tabby entered, holding a tray of food.

"Breakfast in bed? Tabby, you shouldn't have." Remus said quietly.

"Ach – the least I can do." Tabby answered equally quietly as she set the tray down on Remus' thighs. "He's still sleeping, I see. I thought that might be the case, that's why I knocked. The poor little lamb."

Remus smiled. Tabby doted on Cassius, he was her 'lamb' despite the fact he was the most feared auror in the wizarding world.

"Stevens and I kept trying to get him to take a potion, or slip it in his drink, but he hates being babied. He figured out what we were up to and started avoiding us, staying at the Ministry, or he'd lose his temper and lock himself in…that room. You know how he gets, especially when he's tired."

"Yes, I do." Remus brushed back a stray lock of hair from Cassius' forehead. He'd have to cut it before he went back to Hogwarts. Remus gestured towards the chair that was near the fire with his wand and it levitated over near the bed. Tabby sat down. There were two cups of tea on the tray and Tabby reached for one. Remus picked up the other one and took a sip.

"Stevens, Clara and Moody are coming for dinner tonight," said Tabby. "Stevens really wants you to meet Clara… I think she might be the one. They've been together 7 months now."

"I'd like to meet her." Really, Remus reflected, the only reason they'd kept their marriage a secret was because of Julius Malfoy and he'd been dead for years. It was time to start letting some people know.

"I think it'd be safe, Stevens said he'd make sure she would keep the secret."

"I'd really like to meet her again, in a social setting. She always seemed very nice at work. And she's no dark wizard."

"That is true." Tabby nodded.

"Hopefully he'll be awake." Remus smiled down at his husband who hadn't moved a muscle since Tabby had entered.

"Well, even if he isn't, I've already started baking the cake, so we could enjoy it without him." Tabby smiled.

"What kind did you make?"

"His favorite, of course." Tabby said, as if it should have been obvious.

"Of course." Remus smiled. Cassius' favorite cake was one of Tabby's specialties. It was a three layer cake, two layers rich dense chocolate cake, with the middle layer angel food cake. The frosting was lemon flavored whipped cream. She only made it for his birthday.

"We can just wake him up right before dinner, if he doesn't wake up before that. I know Cassius wouldn't want to miss meeting Clara. He was gone on assignment when Stevens brought her by. And it's his 30th. We should make a big deal of it."

"True, it's not every day that my husband turns 30." Remus gazed down at his husband lovingly. Cassius snuggled closer and tightened his arms around Remus as if sensing the gaze.

"Lucius, Narcissa and Draco sent gifts for him to the Ministry. Kingsley forwarded them here."

"That was nice of them." Remus said it every year that Cassius got presents from the Malfoys, he figured one of these years he would sound sincere.

"Hmm. I'll be interested to see what they are." Tabby sipped her tea and picked up one of the copies of the Daily Prophet on the tray.

Remus ate his breakfast, reading the other copy of the paper. Occasionally he and Tabby discussed one of the articles in the paper. He was so glad to be home again. And he had permission to stay until after Boxing Day. The next full moon was Christmas night so he would have been out of commission anyway, even if he had stayed at Hogwarts. After they finished breakfast, Tabby took the tray away and Remus read in bed until Cassius woke up just before lunch.

The next chapter is almost ready to be posted - if I get three reviews for this chapter, I'll update (how's that for motivation?) Bwa ha ha ha! (That's evil laughter - it's hard to type it out!)


	25. The Big ThreeOh!

* * *

Author's Notes: Wow! FOUR reviews in one afternoon! (Dancing around happily!) So…I said I'd update and I don't lie! Thanks to rogue641, AffectedMangoO, Mon2 and elkebaby, (and my cable modem that allows me to be online all the time!) here's the next chapter!

**Chapter 25 – The Big Three-Oh!**

The birthday party was very fun. Remus liked Clara immediately as did Cassius. She was cute, short and slightly plump with shoulder length red hair and glasses. She laughed easily. Remus could tell Stevens was smitten. He had even told her his first name.

"Aloysius! Can you believe it?" Clara said, causing Cassius to laugh while Stevens blushed.

"Shut it, Cassie. It's not as bad as Aurelius." Stevens glared across the table at his friend. Cassius's brows knit together questioningly. Stevens's glare softened and he glanced quickly at Remus with an expression Remus couldn't read.

"Well, I think it's dead sexy." Clara batted her blue eyes at Stevens who looked at her and smiled.

"She _is_ the one." Cassius exclaimed with a grin. "If she thinks your name is sexy, don't let her go, she's one in a million. Isn't she, Remus?" Cassius's hand reached out for Remus's, twining their fingers together.

"Definitely – I think it might be more like one in a trillion." Remus laughed as he leaned back and laid his right arm over the back of Cassius's chair. Clara giggled and kissed Stevens on the cheek.

"Cassius - " Clara turned to him.

"Call him Cassie, we all do – well…except for Remus." Stevens interrupted.

"Should I ask what Remus calls him?" Clara smiled at Remus.

"He calls me Lord and Master. Ouch!" Cassius rubbed his side where Remus pinched him.

"I see you around the Ministry and I read about you all the time in the Prophet but you never smile. You should, it's really a lovely smile." Clara leaned forward earnestly.

"Oh…I…" Cassius started to blush, Remus rubbed his back affectionately. Fudge often used Cassius as a poster boy for the auror department, because of his good looks as well as his ability as an auror. Cassius hated it. Remus privately had a scrapbook of all the articles. Cassius was the best auror currently working in the department and Remus was immensely proud of him.

"If he smiled he'd have everyone chasing after him." Stevens was glad to have the teasing aimed at his good looking best friend. "Just like a Veela."

"All those stories about Malfoys being Veelas are totally unproven." Cassius bristled.

"I seem to recall you saying otherwise when we were at school." Stevens arched his eyebrow at Cassius.

"I never said I was a Veela!" Cassius glared at Stevens who didn't bat an eye. Remus admired Stevens' courage, Cassius' glare was very intimidating. Stevens made a gesture with his hands that was the equivalent of 'is that all you've got?'

"Well, you certainly look like one, with the pale hair and pretty face and OW!!" Stevens grimaced in pain. "You _kicked_ me! You're losing your touch, old man. You used to be able to jinx me without your wand. Must be turning 30."

"You're older than me!" Cassius answered scornfully. "And I'm not pretty."

"Yes, you are, Malfoy!" Stevens stuck out his tongue. Cassius hated being called by his last name as Stevens well knew.

"Boys – if you're going to duel, take it outside." Moody said gruffly. "Last time you jinxed Bette by accident." Cassius and Stevens immediately Apparated out of the room.

"Is it me or have they regressed to being teenagers?" Clara asked Remus, looking a tad bewildered.

"They always do this when they're together." Remus smiled warmly at Clara. "You get used to it."

"I had no idea you and Cassius were together. When you worked at the Ministry, everyone thought you were single. Hell, some people thought you were straight, obviously they didn't remember you from school," Clara laughed as Remus blushed. "You really know how to keep a secret." Clara fiddled with her spoon then looked up at Remus. "I swear I will never tell anyone. I told Stevens I wouldn't but I wanted to say it to you as well."

"Thank you." Remus was touched by the emotion in Clara's eyes.

"You've been together 8 years as of yesterday? Stevens told me."

"Yes, well, we dated for two years before we mated…I mean…you know about me being a werewolf, don't you?" Remus suddenly felt awkward and nervous.

"Oh, yes. Stevens told me. He's very protective of you, you know. He adores Cassie and anyone who Cassie loves, well, I think if I had had a problem with you, I would have been shown the door. But I don't think it matters at all… in fact, I've decided you and I are going to be great friends." Clara smiled. "That way, when they're together, you and I can still have an intelligent conversation."

"I'd like that." Remus smiled back.

"So, happy anniversary." Clara pulled out a small package from her robe pocket. She tapped it with her wand and it returned to its full size. "I thought you should have an anniversary present. It's for both of you, but mostly you, because you're _my_ friend." Her eyes twinkled.

"Thanks." Remus opened the present, it was a new book of sheet music for the piano. "Wow! Beethoven's piano symphonies. Thanks!"

"I just can't believe you've kept your marriage secret all this time."

"Yes…well, we don't socialize really, just with Stevens and Moody so that makes it easy."

"Is it time for my cake?" Cassius asked Tabby ingenuously as he walked back into the room followed by Stevens. Remus looked over and saw that Cassius had blue spiky hair and his ears were large and pointy like a house elf's. He somehow managed to still look handsome. Stevens' skin had green polka dots all over and seemed to be very itchy judging by the way Stevens was scratching at it. Moody waved his wand and Stevens' skin cleared up.

"Hmm…I can't see why you don't socialize more, he's so well behaved." Clara grinned at Remus.

"Isn't he, though. And he's very rich." Remus stage-whispered conspiratorially. "Makes it easier to put up with behavior like this, I can tell you."

"Ah, the secret of a successful marriage." Clara nodded wisely. Remus suddenly felt he had met a kindred spirit and he was warmed by the thought. The cake appeared on the table in front of Cassius with 30 candles burning brightly.

"I have to blow out all 30?" Cassius whined pathetically.

"I told you. Tabby, he's old now, you have to coddle him." Stevens stuck his tongue out at Cassius. Cassius stuck his tongue out and flicked it in a way that made Remus' mouth suddenly go dry as his body remembered what that move felt like. Stevens made an answering gesture that made Remus blush, he glanced over at Clara and saw pink spreading over her cheeks as well.

Tabby ran her hand affectionately through Cassius' blue hair. It was a lovely sapphire color. "You should have made his hair match his eyes."

"Like I was trying to make it flattering! I didn't know he could still look handsome with blue hair or I wouldn't have done it!" Stevens huffed indignantly.

"Don't make me give you tentacles!" Cassius snapped. Stevens started to reach for his wand but stopped when he noticed Moody reaching for his.

"He started it!" Stevens pointed at Cassius sounding like a schoolboy caught in a prank.

"And I'm ending it." Moody growled. "I'd like some cake before _I_ get too old."

After eating the cake, Cassius opened his presents. Moody gave him a new edition of a well-respected book on magical plants. Stevens and Clara gave him three hard to get magical plants. Cassius was thrilled, his garden was charmed so it was protected against the winter weather so he told them he would plant them the next day. Tabby gave him new gloves and a scarf because Cassius had lost his somewhere. They were charmed to stay with his coat when removed. Draco's present was a beautiful painting of the sea shore. He was quite a talented artist although Cassius was the only one in the family who knew that. Lucius and Narcissa gave Cassius an invisibility cloak and a new wizard chess set. Cassius' set had been given to him by Lucius when he went to Hogwarts at 11 and was very battered. But he had never gotten a new one, even though Stevens was always commenting that he had the money for it.

* * *

Remus was in the kitchen brewing another pot of tea when Stevens came in.

"Remus…"

"Yes?"

"How's Hogwarts been?" Stevens asked casually.

"Wonderful – except for the fact we're surrounded by Dementors and on high alert because of Sirius."

"You're coping ok with the separation?"

"Yes, ok." Remus was wondering where the conversation was going. Stevens rarely talked to him alone. He remembered being interrogated by Stevens when he had been dating Cassius about seven months. It had been the equivalent of meeting the parents.

"I…" Stevens looked out the window. "Tabby said you just found out about Cassie's memory problem?"

"Yes. Last week. Lucius wrote me and Dumbledore explained it further." 

"Good." Stevens said briskly. "So you know he needs you." Stevens' waved his hand in Remus' direction.

"I have a potion from Madam Pomfrey that will help with the separation illness."

"It's not only the separation illness…it's _you_. He…he needs another person with him, to…ground him. It started with Owen…he didn't need a sleeping potion unless Owen was gone…" Stevens trailed off. Remus wondered if that meant Cassius and Owen Jones had been involved. Stevens shook his head as if to clear it. "You help him to sleep, even before you mated. Tabby said she stopped giving him sleeping potions when you'd been dating about eight months, after you started sleeping over regularly, in his bed."

"I didn't know that." Remus flushed as he remembered the first night he'd slept with Cassius.

"Well…I think we've been around a Malfoy too long." Stevens smiled ruefully. "Secrets and all."

"Tabby told me why you didn't tell me. I understand." Remus paused. "Stevens…do…do you know what really happened?"

"Yes, Dumbledore told Owen and me when we became his protectors. It was important that we know the truth so if he came in contact with something that could remind him of it – like Sirius Black, or a boggart, or some trance in Divination, then we could help him."

"But Dumbledore said he doesn't remember what happened."

"He doesn't. Not on a conscious level. But he feels dread and anxiety whenever he sees or hears or talks about Black, because he knows, somehow, that something very bad happened to him because of his cousin."

"Oh." Remus suddenly thought of the strain put on his mate, searching for Sirius, especially with Remus away.

"The past couple weeks, he's been having nightmares about being in the basement with his father. Wakes up in pain." Stevens said. "Thinking about Black every day, his mind is starting to turn in on itself, trying to remember why he hates and fears his cousin."

"He's told you about the nightmares?" Remus asked, surprised.

"I've been sleeping over the past couple months, so he's told me when I've woken him up from them. I'm looking for a new place to live."

"Oh?"

"Well, that's what I told him." Stevens smiled slightly. "He sleeps better when I'm with him, not much, but…"

"I'm home for five more nights." Remus said quickly. "And I'm coming home for the Easter holiday as well."

"Good." Stevens sounded approving. He'd been more serious in the past five minutes than Remus had ever seen him. "I was worried about this happening when Cassie told me you were taking the job at Hogwarts. Tabby and I thought we could do damage control but…with you gone _and_ the separation illness _and _Black on the loose… It's like he's regressed to how he was third year. It's been bad, Remus." Stevens sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair. "He needs you, he's not as strong as you think." Remus nodded, feeling more guilty than ever about his being away. Stevens turned and looked at him and Remus was startled by the intensity in his brown eyes. "Are you still in love with Sirius Black?"

For a moment, Remus was too startled to reply. "No…I'm not. Not after what Sirius did. I love Cassius." Remus said firmly.

"Cassie thinks Sirius is coming for you, that you want to be reunited with him."

"That's not true. I'd never do that, I'd never leave Cass."

"You need to convince him of that." Stevens ordered, then paused, "Maybe you think it isn't my business…but…I never resigned my position as Cassie's protector. I promised Dumbledore I would look after him. I knew at 14 that was a big promise I was making, and I've kept it for more than half my life. I consider Cassie my responsibility. After Owen died…I'm the only protector."

Remus swallowed the lump in his throat. "I understand. You're his best friend, I'm glad he has you." Stevens nodded. "I'm sorry about Owen."

"He was great, you would have liked him." Stevens smiled a sad smile. "He died when Death Eaters attacked in Hogsmeade one day."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Cass has never mentioned Owen."

"It's hard for him. He adored Owen. They were best friends for twelve years, lovers for over a year of that time – until Owen died…you know Cassie," Stevens shrugged, he was used to fighting Cassius' silence on emotionally painful topics. "He doesn't want to talk about things that hurt. You have to pry it out of him. You can't let him be silent, Remus." Remus nodded. "It's painful for me too, to talk about Owen, he was my best friend too. So I can never push Cassie all that far. You could, Remus, if you wanted." Stevens took a deep breath. "I always thought Owen had a hand in you two getting together…you met on the first anniversary of his death." They were silent for a moment and then Cassius walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, kiddo, I was just saying good night to Remus. Clara and I must be off."

"You're not staying over?" Cassius asked with dismay.

"I didn't think you'd mind. You've been trying to avoid me for days." Stevens crossed his arms, looking hurt.

"Well…that's just because you were annoying." Cassius' cheeks flushed.

"Huh. I'm staying with Clara, now that Remus is home. I'll come by for Christmas, at tea time." Stevens walked over to Cassius.

"All right." Cassius nodded. Stevens was standing a foot away from Cassius now. Remus had never noticed that they were the exact same height and build. Stevens was a powerful wizard, but he had preferred to be a Quidditch player rather than an auror - Moody and Tabby often bemoaned his career choice. Remus wondered now if he had done that so he could protect Cassius better. Remus wondered if Owen had been their height as well – maybe they had looked like triplets, all tall and blond.

"I'll see you then." Stevens drew Cassius in for a rough hug, thumping him on the back. Cassius hugged Stevens back. Remus had often seen them hug one another but for the first time he realized the full strength of the bond between the two men. Cassius seemed so strong to Remus, he sometimes forgot that Cassius' silent demeanor hid an insecure, emotionally fragile soul. Stevens never forgot it, and Remus vowed that he wouldn't either from now on.

"Clara!" Stevens called. Clara appeared in the kitchen a moment later followed by Tabby and Moody. "We're off. Thanks for a lovely meal, Tabby. Mad-eye, lovely to see you, as always."

"Likewise, Aloysius." Moody growled.

"Goodbye everyone. I had a lovely evening." Clara smiled.

"You're welcome any time, Clara, with or without Stevens." Tabby said with a smile.

"Absolutely." Remus agreed.

* * *

"Thank you for coming home for my birthday." Cassius pulled Remus close and kissing him once their guests had left. "But you haven't given me my present yet."

"It's upstairs in my trunk." Remus said smiling. He was reminded of Dumbledore's memory – presents signified love to Cassius, that was why he was always so excited about getting them.

"Well, come on!" Cassius ran up the stairs, pulling Remus after him.

* * *

Ok, it's not a "Mary-Sue" (that's when the author puts herself into the story, right?) but Clara's physical description is a description of me – but that's where the similarity ends (No, I'm not dating a hunky blond Quidditch player, I wish!).

And sex will be in the next chapter, the full moon in the chapter after that. There will be some big Remus/Cassius conversations in the next few chapters but the **major** angst about Sirius is yet to come. (Oh, and Boxing Day is the day after Christmas, it's a big holiday in England (from what I hear), but not the US.)

Hmmm...should I do another challenge? Five reviews and I'll update! (rubbing hands together gleefully - visions of reviews dancing in my head)


	26. Talk, then Sex

Author's Notes: Woo hoo! I got five reviews on the last chapter! So here's the next one. Author notes at the end so we can get right to the good stuff! I hope the rating is still R, I think I got a little graphic…let me know if it's too much. :-) I don't want to get kicked off so complain to me first and I'll tone it down. :-)

**Chapter 26 – Talk, then Sex**

Remus was noticing all sorts of things about his mate, things that were usual but suddenly, after the conversations with Dumbledore, Tabby and Stevens, had new meaning to him. Cassius was touching him in some way almost constantly: nudging his arm as they sat and ate breakfast, stroking his hand or arm whenever he was in reach, rubbing his back as he walked by when Remus was playing the piano, curling up next to him as Remus read, searching out Remus' heartbeat with his hand as they lay in bed at night. Remus also noticed Cassius followed him from room to room. Cassius wouldn't let him out of his sight for more than a few minutes at a time, usually under the pretense of having to ask something or needing something. These were all things Cassius normally did, but Remus only now fully understood why. He felt safe around Remus.

* * *

"What're you doing?" Cassius walked into their library.

"Still grading essays." Remus looked up in the middle of the scroll he'd been reading. Cassius hadn't been in to see him for over an hour.

"Oh." Cassius leaned up against the wall next to the door.

"What've you been up to?" He rubbed the back of his neck. He really needed to rethink the required length of the essays he assigned, and how often he assigned them.

"Helping Tabby bake for tomorrow." Tabby baked all sorts of good things for their feast on Christmas Day.

"She actually let you help?" Remus was surprised, Tabby was very territorial about her kitchen.

"Uh huh, she lets me help sometimes. Don't look so shocked." Cassius said defensively.

"Sorry. So, what are you doing up here?"

"She…she kicked me out."

Remus had to bite down hard on his lip to keep from laughing. "Come here," Remus beckoned his mate closer, Cassius slowly walked over to his chair. Remus pulled him down on to his lap. He gazed at Cassius for a moment.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just looking at you."

"If you tell me I look tired, I'll hex you." Cassius scowled.

"You don't look tired, even though you woke up twice last night with that nightmare. Cass -"

Cassius picked up one of the papers on Remus's desk. "You made them write an essay about hinkypunks?"

"Some of them are dreadful. I don't think they listen to a word I say in class. And then there's a girl, Hermione Granger, she always seems to write triple what I assign."

"Is she a Ravenclaw?"

"No, Gryffindor. She's one of Harry's friends. Cass -"

"You've gotten to know Harry pretty well this term." Cassius set the paper down and slipped his hand under Remus's sweater.

"Yes, I have. He looks so much like James…but he's really very different…quiet, thoughtful…haunted. He's seen too much pain for someone so young."

"Like you were when you were in school."

"I…I hadn't thought about it like that." Remus rubbed Cassius's back. "Cassius –"

"I _don't_ want to talk about the nightmare, Remus."

"Yes, all right, I just thought I'd give it three tries before giving up. Do you not want to talk about it to me? Or just not talk about it in general."

"In general. It doesn't go away when I talk about it. Stevens and I tried that when it started, it just made me think about it more and I don't want to think about it."

"All right."

"It is better when you're here…because…I'm not so afraid as when I'm alone. When Stevens is with me I'm not so afraid either because I know he'll protect me but…I'm even more not afraid when you're here. Does that make sense?"

"Yes." Remus put his hands around Cassius' face and licked the corner of Cassius' mouth where there was a bit of chocolate frosting. He heard a short gasp from Cassius before covering Cassius's mouth with his own and twining their tongues together. "Mmm…you taste good. I've wanted to do that since you walked in, but I wanted to talk to you first." Remus smiled at his mate. Cassius' eyes were glazed over with desire. "I really need to finish these." Remus said in a stern tone.

"Tease. Can't you do them later?" Cassius pressed their foreheads together.

"I suppose. Your desk, then?" Remus smiled slyly. His grin got wider as Cassius' eyes grew round with surprise.

"Tabby's downstairs." Cassius whispered.

"Well, I was going to use a silencing spell." Remus said casually.

"You mean it?" It suddenly occurred to Remus he didn't think he had ever heard Cassius use the word 'serious.' He wondered if that was deliberate because he didn't like Sirius or if the family had just never used it since it was so close to Sirius's name.

"About the silencing spell?" Remus asked, teasingly.

"No, about having sex on my desk right now."

"Yes. And this time, I'm on top." After another searing kiss, Remus pushed Cassius towards the other desk in the room. Cassius quickly swept the books off his desk on to the floor while Remus went to the door. "Tabby, we won't be down for tea!" He heard her answer and closed the door. He put a silencing spell on the room. When he turned around, Cassius was pulling off his shirt.

Remus quickly pulled off his clothing, grateful for the heat from the blazing fire in the library because it was a cold December day. It was already dusk outside, so the room was lit only by the lamp on Remus' desk and the firelight. By the time he was over at Cassius' desk, Cassius was naked and sitting on the desk, his long legs swinging nonchalantly as he slowly looked his mate up and down. Remus gazed at him a moment, debating his plan. He stroked Cassius' muscular thigh for a moment, then pulled Cassius in for another kiss. "Lie back," he said firmly. Cassius lay down, moving his legs so his feet were resting on his chair, surrounding Remus.

Remus looked over at his desk for his wand, suddenly realizing he needed it and it wasn't there. "Bugger." He muttered.

"What?" Cassius leaned up on his elbows, looking questioningly at Remus.

"I must have left my wand in the downstairs hall."

"What do you need your wand for?" Cassius ached an eyebrow.

"Umm…" Remus took a deep breath, willing his face not to flush. He was 33 years old, mated for eight years, not some blushing virgin, he could do this, he was a Marauder, for Merlin's sake. "Lubricant," he said, trying, and succeeding, to sound cool. He took a moment to congratulate himself.

"Where do you want it?" Cassius asked politely.

"Inside you." Remus' voice was husky with desire as his hand traced over Cassius' hard stomach muscles, watching them clench as his fingers found the ticklish spot under Cassius's ribs. Cassius murmured the required charm. Remus was thankful Cassius could do wandless magic, otherwise his spontaneous plan would have been ruined. "I love you." Remus placed his hands on either side of Cassius, bending over to kiss his mate. Cassius's hands tangled in Remus's hair. He nuzzled Cassius' neck, licking over the bite mark. He kissed Cassius' neck one more time before straightening up. He grabbed Cassius's hips firmly and slid into him. Cassius gave a strangled gasp as their bodies joined. His long fingers curled around Remus's upper arms as his legs hooked around Remus' hips, trying to pull him even closer.

"Please," Cassius moaned. Remus could feel the waves of energy flow off his mate combining with their desire. Cassius was babbling a stream of words, Remus could only make out some of them: more, Remus, please, love, harder. He reached one hand up, tracing it over the bite mark on Cassius's shoulder. Cassius's fingers clenched, pressing into Remus's flesh.

"I love you, Cassius." Cassius convulsed, bringing them both over the edge. Remus pulled Cassius into his arms and half-carried, half dragged him over to the chair in front of the fire. He pushed Cassius down and snuggled onto his lap, feeling warm and content.

* * *

"You'll be the healthiest werewolf Hogwarts has ever seen." Cassius murmured, trailing his long fingers down Remus' arm.

"I'm sorry." Remus wasn't sorry at all as he walked his hand up Cassius's bare chest to pull at the gold ring.

"We just won't owl – that way they can't track anything. How's that?" Cassius tightened his arms around Remus.

Remus lifted his head, looking at his mate. "What about we still owl and not worry if 'they' track us."

"Well…."

"Please? I'll shag you again if you agree."

"What will you do if I promise to write every day?" Cassius arched an eyebrow seductively.

* * *

Author's Notes: I feel like a bad, bad author. I got several well deserved comments that Remus really should have known all this stuff about Cassius years ago. I know, I know. I really hadn't thought the whole character/story line out when I started my first story – hence there's a big scene that takes place during OOTP (in chapter 4 of Old and New Relations) with lots of Sirius angst and heavy implication that Cassius and Remus have never really talked about Remus and Sirius's relationship. And now, as I have written this story, I realize that that wouldn't have happened. Then, I didn't realize just how long Cassius and Remus had been together when Remus finds out the truth about Cassius's memory problem. Bad storytelling on my part. 8 years of marriage _is_ a long time not to know some big things about one's partner. So…bad me (hits self with hardcover of OOTP – Ow!). But…here's my rationalization: 1) as the author, I think that had Remus known the truth, he wouldn't have left Cassius to go to Hogwarts and he had to go to Hogwarts because it's in the book and I am trying to be as true to the book as possible while inserting my own original character. 2) Sometimes, we do keep things about ourselves to ourselves even in a relationship because it's painful, or we think it's not relevant to who we are anymore. So….I hope that makes sense, or at least, doesn't reflect too badly on poor Remus for being in the dark and not questioning so many things. :-)

Thanks to AffectedMangoO, Meike, MJLuvsPolar, Tica and Mon2 for their reviews!!! Keep them coming! I love them!!!

Next Chapter: Opening Christmas Presents.


	27. Presents!

Author's Notes: Thank you to all my reviewers!! Noone, you need to change your name! Your review does count! If I get 4 reviews for this chapter I'll update. (giggles in anticipation)

Also, just an fyi, although he will be discussed more and more in the coming chapters, Sirius will not be making a physical appearance until chapter 36. (Yes, I do have the rest of the story finished, with some polishing still to do) Sorry! :-) But I will be including some of his viewpoint when he does appear.

This is another short chapter, the next one is longer, but no sex again until Chapter 29. :-)

**Chapter 27 Presents!**

Remus settled back in his chair on Christmas morning. The full moon was that night so Remus was feeling achy and weak. Tabby had tucked him into his chair with a blanket and a cup of warm milk before sitting in her own chair. It was tradition, at least when Tabby was home, that they opened presents first, then had a big brunch. Then Stevens always came for tea and dinner and they all watched a movie. When Tabby wasn't home, Remus and Cassius lounged in bed all morning, only getting up when they were finally too hungry to have sex again and then they opened presents.

Remus was always amazed by the restraint Cassius showed when opening a present. He didn't just rip open the wrapping, he carefully managed to get the ribbon off, without untying it, then peeled off the tape carefully and slowly unwrapped presents, never tearing the wrapping paper. He would smooth the papers and fold it before opening the box. It drove Stevens crazy and consequently he never wrapped his presents for Cassius. Remus, Tabby and Moody always wrapped theirs because they knew how much Cassius enjoyed the process. Cassius had spent almost an hour unwrapping his presents from the Malfoys which were mostly clothes because everyone knew Cassius refused to shop for clothing.

Tabby had already unwrapped her presents from Remus and Cassius. Remus gave her a new cookbook of Greek vegetarian food and some of her favorite candy from Honeydukes. Cassius gave her a new set of knives and the big serving platter she'd been hinting about for months.

Remus had just unwrapped a sweaters, some wool socks and slippers from Tabby. He pulled the sweater on over his pajama top and slipped his feet into the slippers. "Tabby, I'll never be cold in Hogwarts again with these. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Tabby smiled.

"Wicked! Thanks, Tabby! Remus, it's a first edition of Hogwarts: A History" Cassius held the heavy book up to show Remus.

Remus smiled, he'd helped Tabby to pick the book out. "Wow." Cassius nodded and opened the book starting to read it. "Cass, you've still got a couple presents to open."

"Oh, yeah." Cassius reluctantly put the book down beside him and reached for another box. "This one is for you from Moody." He levitated the box to Remus then reached for another one. "And this is for Tabby from Moody." He handed the box to Tabby.

Remus ripped open the wrapping paper. "Oh, it's new briefcase." Remus had been using the one that his parents' had given him for graduation, but it was falling apart.

"Doesn't look like a new briefcase." Cassius crawled over to look at it more closely.

"It's charmed to look old on the outside." Remus said as he opened it, "And it's huge inside. I'll be able to put all of my coursework in it. That was very thoughtful of him."

"What'd he get you, Tabby?"

"Some new canisters for the pantry." Tabby answered, a blush staining her cheeks.

"Where's his present for you?" Remus reached out and stroked Cassius's cheek.

"At work. He gave it to me a few days ago, before he left for his holiday."

"And what is it?"

"A charmed dictionary. So I can look up words I forget how to spell." Cassius moved back over to the two unopened presents. "The only ones left are from you, Remus, you don't have anymore to open."

"Really? Where's your present for me?"

"Oh…I forgot." Cassius's face flushed. "It's in the kitchen."

"Let's finish opening the presents here, then we'll go into the kitchen to eat and Remus will get his present then." Tabby suggested as she handed Cassius one of the two presents from Remus.

Seven minutes later… "What is it?" Cassius turned the bottle upside down watching the liquid inside of it slosh around.

"It's cologne."

Cassius's nose wrinkled. "I don't wear cologne."

"I know you don't but I thought you might like this." Cassius looked at the bottle skeptically. "Cassius, would you just try it, please?"

Cassius opened the bottle reluctantly and gave a tentative sniff. Remus watched as the green eyes swerved over to look at him. "It smells like you."

"I know. Took me ages to make it."

"You made this?" Cassius sniffed it again. "It smells just like you." He placed the stopper back in the bottle and crawled back over to Remus. "How'd you make this?"

"A very long and drawn out process, I can show you the book I used." Remus smiled as Cassius crawled up into his lap and buried his face in Remus's neck.

"It's like you bottled up part of you and gave it to me." He murmured as his long fingers tightened on the bottle.

"I'm glad you like it." Remus hugged him tightly.

"What's my other present?"

"You have to open it and find out." Remus took the bottle from Cassius and set it on the table next to him. Cassius reached out and accio-ed the last wrapped present from under the tree. He opened the big box revealing a new pair of black Doc Marten boots. "Thanks, Remus!"

"You're welcome. Tabby told me your old boots were getting worn through."

"Uh huh." Cassius picked up one of the boots. "And you already laced them."

"Of course I did. Last time it took you over an hour to do it." Remus laughed.

"That's only because you were distracting me at the time."

Remus laughed. "All right, off, you're crushing me." Remus pushed at Cassius. "And I'm hungry."

"I'm comfy right here." Cassius dropped the box on the floor with a thud and wound his arms around Remus. His mouth was almost touching Remus's when he pulled back. "Oh! Your present. Come on!"

Remus was pulled out of his chair and dragged towards the door. Cassius stopped in the doorway to kiss him under the mistletoe. A moment later, Remus felt himself hit the wall as Cassius pressed hard against him.

"Mmmm." Remus tangled his hands in Cassius's hair. Maybe he'd have to reconsider cutting it, having something to hold on to was good, especially when his knees felt like they were going to give out at any moment. "Cass." He gasped as Cassius rubbed against him.

"I love you so much." Cassius pulled away, breathing hard. "Come on, you have to see your present. It's not wrapped though because I couldn't figure out how to wrap it." Cassius pulled Remus back against his chest, put his hand over Remus's eyes and walked them into the kitchen. "Now, open your eyes." Cassius's hand lifted away.

Remus stared at a large clock hanging on the wall. Instead of numbers, there were locations written around the face of it: Out of the Country, Home, Work, Mortal Danger. Remus noticed the two hands on the clock: Cassius and Remus. Remus stared at it, feeling tears prick his eyes.

Cassius shifted, scuffing his foot against the floor. "Do you like it?"

"Oh, I love it!" Remus flung his arms around Cassius, kissing him. His parents had had one but he'd been forced to sell it to buy food a year before he and Cassius had started dating. "Thank you!"

"I know you wanted one for ages but it took a bit to figure out how to charm the hands without going to the Wizard Clock Shop. And I wanted to do it all by myself." Cassius said with a touch of embarrassment.

"I love it. And it means even more that you did it yourself." Remus rubbed his nose against his mate's. Cassius smiled.


	28. A Picture is Worth

Author's Notes: I am starting to get a big ego with all these reviews coming in so quickly! :-) I love it!!! (jumps up and down, scaring the cat) This story is now my main focus as I (rather abruptly) ended "Old and New Relations." I know I could have gone on and on but I wanted to bring it to a close so that the next adventures could have their own title(s) and summary(s). So…just including that comment because I know lots of people are reading both. :-)

Thanks to my four reviewers: Elkebaby, Mon2 (so glad you loved the Christmas chapter!), AffectedMangoO (Tabby gets put on the clock in this chapter!) and Meike.

And – because Elkebaby twisted my arm (ow!) I am posting Chapter 28 and Chapter 29 today. :-)

**Chapter 28 A Picture is Worth…**

Remus, Tabby and Cassius had a delicious brunch. Afterwards, Cassius spent a couple hours charming a hand for Tabby onto the clock in the kitchen, at Remus's request. Tabby muttered that it would only ever point to home so there wasn't a need but Remus commented that she did occasionally go to Hogwarts so there was a need after all.

* * *

That afternoon when he came for Christmas tea, Stevens brought a thick photo album. He told Cassius that talking to Remus about Hogwarts had gotten him nostalgic. Cassius was silent as Stevens pulled the album from his bag. Remus watched Stevens joke Cassius out of his silence when they went into the sitting room. Stevens had a knack for handling Cassius that Remus sometimes envied. Remus always took mental notes of how Stevens talked to Cassius. He tried to emulate Stevens the longer he and Cassius had been mated. Now, it seemed to Remus the stakes had been raised and he paid even closer attention.

"All right, we begin." Stevens had made Cassius sit in the middle of the couch with the photo album on his lap. Stevens was on one side and Remus the other. The photo was of Stevens, about age 16, and two other school boys. "I had forgotten how cute I was."

Cassius snorted.

"Who are the others?" Remus asked.

"That's Owen." Owen looked a bit like a pixie, he was small and slight with a heart shaped face, pale skin and jet black hair. His blue eyes were laughing. He was nothing like Remus had imagined him – as towering blond who looked like a cross between Stevens and Cassius. "That's Edgar Bones, you knew him, didn't you Remus?" Remus nodded, remembering him at Order meetings. He and his family had been killed by Death Eaters.

"And here we are after we won the Quidditch cup. When we beat Gryffindor, your final year, Remus." Stevens reached across and patted Remus' knee sympathetically.

"That was brilliant." Cassius grinned. The two Ravenclaws laughed, remembering their triumph. They'd had a young team, Stevens had been the captain, as a 5th year he'd been the oldest on the team. No one had expected them to beat the Gryffindor team, with James and Sirius on it, but they had.

"Lily and I thought there must have been some Ravenclaw house rule that the chasers all had to be 7 feet tall, blond and gorgeous." Remus said, remembering how mad James and Sirius had been when Lily and Remus had mentioned how attractive the Ravenclaw team was.

"We're only 6 foot 5." Cassius answered.

"7 feet would be cool though." Stevens rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But the other things are all true. Except that Malison wasn't quite as gorgeous as Cassie and me."

"He wasn't quite as tall either."

"Ravenclaws and their obsession with details." Remus shook his head as he looked down at the picture. A young Cassius, hair all askew, was laughing at Owen who was dancing wildly on a table in the Ravenclaw common room along with Bones and a blond witch. It looked like it was quite a party. There were bottles of butterbeer scattered around and the room was full of students. Remus spotted Stevens raising his arms triumphantly, next to him a witch with curly light brown hair was holding the Quidditch cup. "Ah, Annemarie. Now she was lovely, our keeper. I think we snogged later that night." Stevens smiled. "Course, she dumped me for Owen the next week."

"She told me Owen was a better kisser." Cassius said with a sly smile.

"Humph. I'll have you know I have since improved my technique." Stevens laughed.

"No more teeth-clicking?" Cassius asked solemnly.

"No. Wanna have a go?" Stevens looked at Cassius seductively.

"Maybe later," Cassius laughed.

"Or we could just ask Clara," Remus suggested, more sharply than he would have liked.

Stevens laughed and turned back towards the album. "Look at this one, Remus, this was when we jinxed Binns so he couldn't go through the wall in the classroom. Damn NEWTS and OWLS, we were balmy from all the studying." Binns looked very angry and Owen looked very contrite although he would wink at the camera occasionally.

"Oh, you told me about that! You used a modified solidification spell." Remus looked at the picture. "We never thought about jinxing a professor."

"You didn't think big enough."

"It took ages for it to wear off. Almost until graduation." Cassius paused "Owen's eyes were so blue." Cassius's finger reached out to trace Owen's cheek. "We got detention for a week." Cassius laughed. "Although detention didn't seem like a punishment because we got to help Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest." He turned to Remus. "That was the only time we ever got detention."

Remus had noticed that whenever Cassius talked about school he often said 'we', Remus had always assumed 'we' was Stevens and Cassius. Now he knew that included Owen.

"Here's us studying." Stevens laughed as he pointed to a picture of Cassius and Stevens playing chess. They were both concentrating very hard. Remus laughed too. Ravenclaws were known for being studious but so far he had seen photos showing a much more fun-loving side of them than he'd ever suspected.

Stevens turned the page. "Here's Cassius when he was Head Boy." The picture showed Cassius and Owen, Owen was gesturing to the Head Boy badge on Cassius' robe and Cassius was pushing his hand away. The photo Owen, who barely came up to Cassius' shoulder, threw his arm around Cassius' neck, pulling him down and kissing him soundly on the cheek causing Cassius to flush. "Owen was so thrilled, you would have thought he'd got it. Sent me a howler to tell me the news."

"It turned Remus on when I told him I was Head Boy." Cassius winked at Remus, who blushed.

"Well, I couldn't help it! Head Boy. There's just something about it that seems…I don't know…sexy."

"If I had known that I would have told you on our first date not our seventh." Cassius leaned in to kiss Remus's cheek. "I still have the badge somewhere in the attic." Remus was speechless as all the blood in his body seemed to rush towards his groin. Cassius's voice was a seductive purr. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Now, stop it you two. I'm busy reminiscing, I don't want to be subjected to a snog-fest." Steven said, elbowing Cassius hard to get his attention. "This is a picnic, summer before your third year." Stevens pointed to the picture taken on the grounds of Hogwarts.

Remus had been jealous when he'd found out early in their dating that Cassius had lived at Hogwarts year-round. Cassius had always said it was because he needed extra lessons, which Remus had thought was because of Julius Malfoy's unrealistic expectations since Cassius was very bright. Cassius had had the run of the school, except for the restricted sections, and became a sort of nephew to everyone on staff. They still talked about him proudly in the staff room whenever he was in the Prophet. Remus had almost choked on his tea the first time it happened a few months ago.

"That's Tabby!" Cassius stared at the picture. "She's holding hands with Moody!"

"They were an item." Remus leaned closer to look at the picture. Dumbledore and McGonagall were in the picture also. Dumbledore and Cassius were attempting to fly a kite while the others watched from the blanket spread on the lakeshore.

"What? When? How do you know?" Cassius stared at Remus.

"I owled you about it a few weeks ago." Remus said. "Right after I found out from her sister."

"You owled me about it? I don't remember that." Cassius scowled.

"I remember getting that owl, I read it to you." Stevens said, "But I never noticed them in the picture before."

"They broke up a couple years after this picture was taken." Remus lowered his voice. "I'll tell you about it later, all right? I don't want Tabby to overhear us talking about it, it's still upsetting to her and she'll think it's odd if we put a silencing spell on the sitting room now"

"All right." Cassius whispered.

"I really should have put these in order. Here's one of us – this was after we won the cup my 7th year. Bloody match went on…how many hours?"

"Oh, I know this…I know this…21 hours 16 minutes. It was the 3rd longest match in Hogwarts history." Cassius said. Remus looked down at the picture. All three boys were still wearing their Quidditch robes and looked soaking wet. Stevens was asleep on his back on a bed. Owen, who was splattered with mud, was right next to him, his back pressed against Stevens's side. Cassius was on the other side of Owen and Owen was spooned around him. They were all sound asleep. "Owen was so tired he fell off his broom twice before he caught the snitch."

"Normally it didn't take him that long to catch it but it was raining, horrid conditions." Stevens said, shuddering with the memory. "Merlin – I still miss him. Sometimes something happens that I think 'Owen would get a laugh out of that' and I go to owl him or floo over and I realize he's gone." Stevens took a deep breath.

Cassius started to chew the fingers of his hand. Stevens tugged at Cassius' elbow causing him to drop his hand. Remus noticed Stevens took hold of Cassius' hand and started rubbing his thumb across the top of it.

There's you and your family." Stevens pointed to a picture of Cassius, his father, brother, Sirius, a stocky black haired man, obviously Sirius' father, and Regulus. Between Cassius and Regulus was a lovely, tall woman with silver blond hair, a long straight nose and grey eyes. She had her arms around with both boys and occasionally would kiss one of them.

"Who's that?" Remus asked, pointing at the woman.

"Aunt Black, that's Uncle Black." Cassius pointed to the two people in the picture that Remus wouldn't know. "It was taken right before I started Hogwarts." Remus looked at the picture. Sirius was scowling but the rest had nice smiles on their faces. Julius Malfoy smiled down at Cassius or over at Lucius, his hand resting lightly on his shoulder. "I liked Aunt Black, but the rest of the Blacks were prats."

"She looks so much like you." Remus said as he looked at Sirius' mother, he'd never met either of Sirius' parents.

"She was my father's sister, a Malfoy. All Malfoys look like that." Cassius said coldly.

"You're not a clone of him, you know. You look different." Stevens looked at Cassius. "Are you even looking at yourself in these pictures?" Cassius gave a short nod. "No, you're not. Look at them. Here. Look at this one. What color is your shirt?" There was a long pause.

"Blue. Why do you have all these pictures?" Cassius growled.

"They're all the pictures we took or ones you threw away. Owen and I kept them." Stevens smiled gently. "I figured we'd look at them sooner or later…or show them to Remus. I just never thought about it until now. There's a great one of you naked in the shower somewhere in here. Owen took it right before graduation."

"There is not!"

"Is too. Remus will like it. And here's…oh, you probably don't want to see that one, Remus." Stevens tried to flip the page quickly. "I should have taken that out."

"No, wait." Remus stopped him. "Why wouldn't I want to see it?" Stevens had was covering the photograph.

"It's Cassie and…What was his name?" Stevens moved his hand away from the picture.

"Monroe, we dated the end of my fifth year." Cassius muttered.

"A Hufflepuff, he was my year, wasn't he?" Cassius nodded. The picture showed Cassius and Monroe in the Quidditch locker room. Cassius was pressing Monroe up against a wall, kissing him, his hands buried in Monroe's black hair. As Remus looked at the picture, the photo-Cassius ripped open Monroe's robes, kissing down his neck. Monroe thrust his hips forward clutching at Cassius's shoulders.

Remus swallowed hard. "Who took that picture?" The photo-Cassius had just started unbuttoning Monroe's pants.

"One of Cassie's other boyfriends. Gave it to you when he dumped you, didn't he?" Stevens didn't seem to notice what the two boys were doing in the picture and turned the page. Remus desperately hoped his face wasn't bright red as he swallowed another wave of jealousy.

"Accused me of cheating." Cassius said dryly. "I hadn't thought we were exclusive."

"Here's moving day at Windy Corner. Owen lived here after school, Remus, until he died."

"He did?" Remus had never known that. He couldn't believe Cassius had never once mentioned Owen. He looked at the picture of Stevens and Owen levitating books and clothing around a room.

"He lived here…must have been four months?"

"Five." Cassius said quietly, his hand flexing on Remus's knee. Remus stroked over the long fingers reassuringly.

"His room was the one across from the library." Stevens said.

"Oh…" Remus thought about that…he used that room on full moons and Cassius didn't like to be in it, which was why it had been a surprise to come home and find him there a couple days ago. Remus had thought it was because of the transformations, but now…

"And here's another of us, this was taken a few days before Owen died." Remus looked at the picture, the three of them looked so happy.

"I should have been there." Cassius said hoarsely.

"We couldn't have known." Stevens answered softly. Remus noticed Stevens was still holding Cassius' other hand, his thumb still stroking back and forth. Stevens leaned in closer to Cassius. "He wouldn't want you to blame yourself. All right?" Cassius gave a short nod. They sat there in silence for a moment before Stevens turned the page.

"Here's another one from school. Remus is in it."

"Am I?" Remus was surprised, he hadn't socialized with many of the other students, the Marauders had kept to themselves.

"Here." The picture was of Owen, Annemarie and Cassius sitting by the lake but in the background, Remus could see himself and Sirius. They were laying under a tree, kissing, Sirius was on top of him. Cassius suddenly wrenched his hand free, shoved the album onto Stevens' lap and left the room.

"I'll be right back." Stevens said as he handed the album to Remus. "Look through it, if you want to." Stevens followed Cassius quickly out of the room. Remus couldn't stop himself and flipped back a few pages to the picture of Cassius and his boyfriend, Monroe. The photo-Cassius had Monroe on all fours and was pounding into him. Remus was momentarily shocked, he hadn't expected Cassius to be having sex at 16, he'd been so innocent himself at that age. He looked at the picture and swallowed a third wave of jealousy. 'Don't be silly,' he scolded himself, 'the picture is 14 years old, he's not with Monroe anymore. He's yours.' He looked at Cassius' face in the picture, it was beautiful but cold, even in the midst of passion. Remus was warmed by the thought that he had been given access behind the Malfoy mask.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the kitchen…

"I know there are a lot of pictures of Owen…"

"That's not…that's not why I left…I liked looking at Owen…even though…it still hurts." Cassius said slowly, pacing back and forth.

"All right, then…why did you leave?" Stevens asked calmly, massaging the feeling back into his numb hand.

"He was kissing Black." Cassius' hands clenched into fists. "I lost Owen and now…"

"You're not going to lose Remus. That was a long time ago."

"I know that!" Cassius shouted.

"You tell me you know, but you're still upset – and you have no reason to be." Stevens said. "He's not in love with him."

"And how do _you_ know?" Cassius turned around angrily, his eyes were black.

"Because I asked him."

"You…you asked Remus?" Cassius felt his anger melt away.

"I did. And he said he wasn't in love with Black, not after what he did. Remus said he loves _you_ now." Stevens looked at Cassius. "And my gran always said I had a knack for telling when people are lying, and he wasn't lying."

"Really?" Cassius looked at Stevens feeling hopeful.

"Really." Stevens said firmly. Cassius smiled at him. Stevens felt a wave of relief. Cassius was always so insecure, damn Julius Malfoy, Stevens thought. "I've heard him say he loves you a thousand times, at least."

"I know…I know he loves me."

"Well, then."

"He's just so wonderful…"

"And you deserve him. If you say you don't deserve him, I'll jinx you into next month, because that's bullshit, Cassius."

"All right."

"So…you're better now?" Behind him Stevens could hear a knock at the front door, he knew it must be Clara.

"Yeah."

"You're sure? Because I'm not leaving this kitchen unless I know our little chat made you feel better."

"I feel better, I swear." Cassius smiled.

"Good." Stevens hugged Cassius quickly. "Let's go see my girlfriend, then."


	29. Christmas Dinner

**Chapter 29 – Christmas Dinner**

There was a knock at the door. Remus put the album down, and went to the door. He checked himself in the hall mirror, his face looked a little pink but nothing too out of the ordinary, he _had_ been sitting close to the fire. He opened the door.

"Happy Christmas!" Clara beamed at him, holding a big wrapped box.

"Happy Christmas!" Remus threw his arms around her. She leant her cheek on his shoulder, unable to hug him back because of the box she held. He stepped back. "I'm so glad you came! Come in, come in." Clara stepped inside. Remus took her thick cloak, it was snowing outside. Tabby and Cassius had been thrilled to have a white Christmas and were planning on watching the old muggle movie of the same name that evening. Remus was planning on curling up next to the fire after his transformation so he could enjoy it with them. The wolfsbane potion kept him safe to be around even when he was transformed, although he knew that Cassius and Tabby still kept their wands at the ready just in case the potion failed. He didn't mind, he didn't want anyone he loved to have to go through what he went through every month.

Tabby came into the entry way, her brown eyes twinkling. "Clara, so good to see you again!."

"Thank you, Tabby. This is for everyone." Clara held out the present to Remus. Stevens and Cassius came out of the kitchen.

"Hello, sweetheart." Stevens greeted Clara with a kiss on the cheek. She blushed prettily.

"Hello, you. lo, Cassie."

"Hullo. What's the present?" Cassius asked Clara eagerly.

"It's for all of us." Remus held on to the present as they all trooped into the sitting room.

"Who gets to open it then?" Cassius looked back and forth between Tabby and Remus.

"You do." Tabby and Remus chorused, knowing they would have a battle on their hands if they didn't let Cassius do it.

"Then give it here." Cassius held out his hands and took the present from Remus. He sat cross-legged on the floor next to Remus' chair and started to peel off the wrapping.

"It's bloody amazing, isn't it. Every time! Just rip the damn thing open." Stevens sat down on the loveseat with Clara and put his arm around her.

Cassius glared at Stevens. "And where's _your_ present for me?"

"The photo album, love. I didn't wrap it because you know you drive me nutters with your unwrapping process." Stevens reached over and tousled Cassius's hair.

"Tea, Clara?" Tabby asked, walking towards the tray.

"Yes, please."

"Milk and sugar?"

"Yes, thank you." Tabby prepared the cup and levitated it over to Clara before sitting in her chair across from Remus.

"It is so cold. Just the type of day to be inside by a fire." Clara closed her hands around her teacup.

"We'll be watching 'White Christmas' after dinner. They could stay, couldn't they, Remus?" Tabby asked carefully. She had mentioned the idea this morning to him once it had started snowing.

"I…" Remus hesitated. Stevens was a powerful wizard and Clara also knew how to defend herself. And Remus knew Cassius would be able to tell if the potion failed. Cassius had charmed him so a glow would occur around Remus if the potion started losing its power.

Stevens and Clara both turned to look at him, not understanding immediately. "Oh, the full moon is tonight." Stevens said. "We don't want to impose."

"No, if you don't mind me…and you both have your wands?" They both nodded. "I…I'd like it if you stayed." Remus suddenly hoped they would, he wanted to be accepted fully by Stevens and Clara.

Clara and Stevens spoke together immediately, "We'd love to."

"Wicked!" Cassius burst out, finally having opened the present.

"I…did you _just_ open it?" Clara looked down at him in surprise.

"I told you! He's the slowest present opener in the world!" Stevens said with a mix of exasperation and affection.

"What is it?" Remus leaned over Cassius' shoulder to look at the box.

"Chinese Checkers." Cassius lifted the box so Remus could see it.

"It's a muggle game, my cousins taught it to me, up to 6 people can play. I'm horrible at chess, and this way we could all play." Clara smiled.

"Could we play now?" Cassius stood up, shoving the box at Remus. "Read the directions." He ordered excitedly before getting a scone from the tea tray.

"You said you've played before?" Remus asked Clara, who nodded.

"You'll have to read the rules anyway, we're playing against three Ravenclaws." She rolled her eyes, Remus laughed. Stevens and Cassius were sticklers for rules, although Cassius hated to take the time to actually read them, insisting Remus read them instead. Remus always thought it was too bad he was such an honest person, otherwise he would start changing the rules so he could always win.

They played four games before dinner. Cassius and Stevens were enamored of the new game. Remus started to play just to mess Cassius up, which annoyed him to no end. Clara and Remus both won a game, with Stevens winning the third and Cassius winning the last. Tabby had played only the first game before saying she had to get dinner ready.

* * *

Dinner was a festive affair. Remus was glad Stevens and Clara had come over. The more he got to know Clara the more he liked her.

"Where's Mad-eye?" Stevens asked.

"Visiting his niece and her family on Skye." Cassius answered around a bite of carrots.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Remus hissed, setting down his goblet with wolfsbane in it. Tabby had thoughtfully given him two drinks at dinner, the wolfsbane potion and blackberry juice. He needed to have two doses of the potion within the hour of his transformation.

Stevens smiled indulgently at Cassius. "He'll forget if he doesn't say it right away."

Cassius swallowed quickly. "That's what I tell them!"

"No excuse for bad table manners." Tabby scolded, like she always did.

* * *

Remus excused himself before dessert to go upstairs to transform. A second after he was in the room, Owen's old room, Cassius burst in then shut the door re-activating the silencing charm. Remus looked at him quizzically.

"Sex within an hour of the transformation helps, remember?" Cassius moved to remove Remus' clothing. "I don't care if you look too healthy, I have to – it's just…let's go in our room." Cassius glanced around the room.

"Tabby's sending the final dose to this room." Remus said shakily, the pull of the moon was almost at full strength. "There's no time."

"All right…" Cassius took a deep breath and pulled off his clothes quickly.

"What about the guests?" Remus tried to bat Cassius' hands away as they reached for him but failed and was naked a moment later.

"It's only Stevens and Clara. Tabby's entertaining them, they're having desert." Cassius started to kiss Remus' neck. Remus sighed as his body reacted quickly to the kisses. "Come on, lovely, we've only got ten minutes before moonrise." He licked over Remus' bite mark, licking again and again until Remus was shaking in his arms. Remus latched on to Cassius' bite mark, feeling an answering shudder in his mate. Cassius lowered them down onto the bed. He muttered the charm to ready Remus and then continued to lick and suck at Remus' bite mark as he quickly joined them together. Remus arched his back, already close to his release.

"Cassius. Cassius." Remus's fingers dug into his mate's scarred back as his body spasmed. Cassius groaned and collapsed on top of Remus. He made to move a second later. "Stay, just a moment, please." Remus wrapped his arms around his mate. "I love you."

"I love you too." Cassius moved again. "You have to have your final dose of wolfsbane." Remus let him go reluctantly and sat up as Cassius rose off the bed. "Here." Cassius turned and handed Remus the goblet that Tabby had sent upstairs magically just a few moments ago. Remus made a face and gulped it down. "Scratch on the door when you're ready and I'll open it, all right?" Cassius started to pull on his clothes.

"Yes."

"Did I tell you I love you?" Cassius pulled his shirt over his head.

"Yes."

"Good."

"And I love you." Remus kissed Cassius once more before pushing him out the door. Cassius lifted the silencing spell so that he could hear Remus. There were only a few minutes left before moonrise. Remus felt his body stiffen and start to change. The combination of the wolfsbane potion and sex eased the transformation immensely and by the time he'd changed into a wolf, he was only a little sore. He walked around, feeling a little nervous about being around Stevens and Clara in his wolf form. He shook his head, telling himself he was being silly. It was just like Tabby being in her animagus form, nothing to be uncomfortable about. He padded over to the door and scratched on it. Cassius opened the door.

"All right?" Remus bumped against his leg for an answer. Cassius started down the hall with Remus by his side.

* * *

"Bing Crosby has a wonderful singing voice." Clara was saying to Tabby as they walked into the sitting room.

"That he does." Tabby agreed. "We were just waiting for you to start the movie." She smiled warmly at Remus. Clara and Stevens both gave a little wave and a smile. They had rearranged the furniture so they were all facing the TV that was normally hidden in the corner cupboard. Clara and Stevens were on the loveseat, sharing an ottoman. Tabby was curled up in her chair, her feet to the side, and the couch had been moved to be between them. "We thought you two should have the couch."

"We saved you a piece of cake for later, Remus, it was delicious." Clara said, smiling at him. He gave a short howl in reply and she smiled wider. He felt warm from the friendship he could see in her eyes.

Cassius sat down on the couch and stretched his legs out, then he conjured up an ottoman to put his feet on. Remus climbed up on the couch next to him and curled up, laying his snout on Cassius' thigh. Cassius reached down and scratched one of his ears. Tabby waved her wand and the movie started to play.

"This is wonderful." Clara murmured as the opening credits started to roll. Snow had started to fall outside and the fire made the sitting room warm and cozy. Remus thumped his tail twice in agreement. Cassius's hand petted his thick fur for a few moments before curling up in his ruff.

* * *

Author's Notes: So in my other story, I made it seem like Remus could still be dangerous when he's transformed (in chapter 8) because Cassius had his wand out (pun not intended) before going to see the transformed wolf-Remus. Since then, I decided (because I can!) that the wolfsbane does make him safe but Cassius and Tabby always have their wands at the ready just in case the potion fails, and Remus wouldn't be out and about in his werewolf form unless Cassius and Tabby were both there. Also, Stevens is a powerful wizard, and Clara is a powerful witch, so they all would be able to protect themselves in the above scene. When Harry starts to live at Windy Corner, Remus decides that it's just not safe enough to be loose around Harry.


	30. You Tell Me

Thank you to my reviewers! I just can't thank you enough! :-) Notes at the end so we can get right to the story. It's a bit long: 10 pages in word!

**Chapter 30 – You Tell Me**

"I'm home!" Cassius's voice echoed through the house.

"I'm in the attic!" Remus yelled. After sleeping until almost noon, he'd had lunch and then looked through the photo album. Then he'd come up to the attic. He'd spent the past few hours looking through Cassius' old school things. Tabby had brought him tea and scones an hour ago.

Since then, he'd found the Ravenclaw House Chess Championship cup that Cassius had won three years in a row. When he graduated, the Ravenclaw house had given him a trophy of his own to take with him. Remus had also found a picture of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team from Cassius' 5th year so it had both Stevens and Owen in it. He was thinking about putting some things in the library so Cassius could see them. He heard the clomping of Cassius's boots on the stairs getting louder and a moment later, Cassius was standing in the doorway.

"What're you doing?" Cassius's green eyes quickly noticed the opened trunks with items strewn around the room and the cup in Remus's hand.

"I thought we could do a little redecorating in the library." Remus answered calmly. "I found a great picture of The Marauders that I'm going to frame. And there's a wonderful one of you, Stevens and Owen from the album Stevens gave you."

"Oh?" Remus watched out of the corner of his eye as Cassius's hand flexed.

"I looked through the whole album today. For all you talk about the academic brilliance of Ravenclaws, there's not one picture of any of you studying." Remus said with a smile.

"We didn't need to study." Cassius said, smiling slyly.

"Ah. Apparently. You, Owen and Stevens certainly got into a lot of mischief." The smile faded from Cassius's face. "I thought it was time we remembered the good times with our friends…instead of ignoring it all, the good and the bad. I know it's painful, but talking about it helps. You can't keep things bottled up inside, it's not good. Even if it hurts, you need to talk about it."

Remus had practiced his speech to Cassius all afternoon, he wasn't as eloquent as he wanted to be, but he was at least speaking his mind. He couldn't believe the things Cassius had kept from him all these years. He'd known Cassius didn't like to talk about things that hurt but he never realized the lengths Cassius had gone to to avoid thinking about Owen. "I don't like all these secrets you keep from me."

"It was only Owen I didn't tell you about."

"Only?" Remus tried to keep his voice calm but there was an edge of anger in it. "He was one of your best friends at school, you dated him, he lived here and I had never even heard his name before this week! It's not like that's a small thing, Cassius."

"He died because of me, Remus! I didn't want to think about it! I didn't want to think about him! It hurt so much."

"He didn't die because of you." Remus had asked Moody about Owen and the circumstances of his death. It appeared to have been a random murder by the Death Eaters, like so many of the murders were at that time.

"He did! He wanted me to come with him that day and I didn't want to go shopping. If I'd been there –"

"You could have been killed too! There is no guarantee you would have been able to save him if you had been there."

"But I might have been able to."

"I might have been able to figure out that Sirius was the spy before he became James and Lily's secret keeper, but I didn't. And I dealt with that, I didn't shove it to the back of my mind and not think about it for twelve years!"

"I'm sorry." Cassius whispered hoarsely.

"You don't need to be sorry."

"You're mad at me."

"I'm no-…I am mad, but it's because I feel like you hid part of yourself from me all these years. I love you. I love _all_ of you. I want to know everything about you. There's nothing I could find out that would change how I feel about you."

Cassius crossed over to Remus slowly and knelt down by him, taking the cup, which Remus had forgotten he was still holding, from his hand. Cassius was silent as he gazed down at it. "You could put your chess cup on your desk." Remus suggested gently, reaching out to touch his mate, rubbing his back.

"I won this three years in a row."

"I know, I remember you bragging about it years ago. Stevens never won it, right?" Cassius shook his head. "What about Owen?"

"Owen beat me our 7th year. Told me he was sick of losing to me. He studied strategy like a maniac."

"Really?" Remus prompted.

Cassius smiled slightly at the memory. "I teased him he was really a goblin – he was so crafty…and short."

"I'd like to hear more about him." Remus said softly, watching Cassius's smile fade back into sadness. Stevens' words echoed in Remus' head: _'You can't let him be silent, Remus.' _He wasn't going to, not if he could help it. He reached for Cassius's hand, stroking over the long fingers. "Owen wouldn't want you to be unhappy when you thought about him…he'd want to you remember him, to remember all the good times you had together. He loved you."

"I loved him too." Cassius' voice was a husky whisper.

"Please tell me about him." Remus demanded gently. "Stevens said you knew Owen since you were little…that you dated for a year?"

"We met the first day of school when we were six. He never cared I was a Malfoy. I was so glad when we got sorted into the same house when we went to Hogwarts." Cassius said quietly. "We didn't date though…Owen always insisted that we weren't dating, we were in love. I never understood the difference." He shook his head and his hair fell into his face, blocking Remus's view of his expression.

"I think I do." Remus said softly.

"It's hard, Remus." Cassius's fingers clenched around the cup.

"I know." Remus tucked a lock of Cassius' hair behind his ear, he hadn't had time to cut it yet. He smiled as Cassius leaned into the touch automatically. He trailed his fingers down to his mate's shoulder. "Thank you for telling me. I know I'm not very good about talking about James and Lily and Peter…and Sirius. But I think it will help us both to talk about them, all of them, Owen especially. They're our past, but the past is still important. We shouldn't avoid it because it's painful. We can help each other."

Remus could see the glint of tears in Cassius' eyes as he nodded. He wouldn't push further right now, but they were going to redecorate the library tonight before he left tomorrow to return to Hogwarts. And they _would_ be talking about Owen more then. He leaned forward and kissed Cassius' cheek. "I love you very much, you know." Cassius nodded. Remus rubbed his back again. "How was work?"

"Still no sign of Black. It's ridiculous. I didn't think he was so smart. He should have been a Slytherin, the way he slips through our grasp." Cassius put the cup down and reached for a school book lying in the trunk in front of him.

"Sirius fooled around a lot during school, but he was very bright." Remus tried to keep his tone light.

"And handsome and charming and wonderful and everyone loved him." Cassius ground out the words, "But he only had eyes for you."

"That's not all true." Remus said calmly.

"It seemed all true." Cassius hurled the book back in the trunk as he stood up.

"You are handsome and charming and wonderful, too." Remus stood up.

"No, I'm not." Cassius stated matter of factly, staring down at the floor.

"I think you are." Remus said firmly. Cassius was silent. Remus thought they had dealt with Cassius' insecurities over the years but Sirius's escape had seemed to bring them all back. He knew Cassius had always been compared to his cousins, especially Sirius, and his older brother, and his father had always found him lacking. "I'm lucky to have found someone like you." Gleaming green eyes flew up to look at him. "I only have eyes for you, there's no need to be jealous or worried about Sirius. The fact that Sirius is no longer in Azkaban changes nothing. He and I aren't together, we're not going to be together. I'm with you. You are my husband. I. Love. You." Remus punctuated each word with a kiss. "You are the handsomest, charmingest, wonderfulest man I know."

"Those aren't really words, are they?"

"No," Remus laughed. "They're not…they should be."

"I love you so much." Cassius pulled Remus closer to him. "Are you still mad at me?"

"No." Remus rubbed his nose against his mate's.

"Because if you were…we could have had make-up sex before dinner." Cassius gazed at him almost shyly.

"Or we could just have sex anyway." Remus pulled out of Cassius's embrace. "Because," Remus reached down into the trunk next to him, "I found this." He held up a Head Boy badge and smiled. Cassius grinned back, green eyes sparkling, as he took it in his hand.

"So…Fifty points from Gryffindor unless you are naked on our bed within the next three minutes."

"No fair!" Remus ran out of the attic and down the stairs. He skidded around the corner, down the hall and into their room trying to pull off his clothes at the same time. He could hear Cassius's steady steps coming down the stairs and down the hall.

"It's a good thing you managed that in time, it would have been embarrassing to tell Dumbledore why you lost house points over the holiday." Cassius smiled as he closed the door and leaned against it.

"I never knew Ravenclaws could be so power-hungry." Remus smiled as he tried to get his breath back.

"I'll have you know I was very fair. Well…" Cassius paused. "I did take a lot of points from Slytherin, but they always deserved it."

"Sure." Remus nodded, watching Cassius unbutton his white linen shirt. "You never let the fact you were Head Boy go to your head. I believe you." He watched as Cassius sat down on the chair in front of the fire and unlaced his boots one at a time.

"Could you hurry up over there?" Remus asked impatiently as Cassius stood up and unbuckled his belt.

"What's that muggle saying? Patience is a virtue?" He unbuttoned his pants and slowly slid down the zipper, pushing his boxers down with his pants. Remus squirmed impatiently.

"20 points from Ravenclaw if you're not on top of me in ten seconds." He threatened in his best prefect voice. Cassius was on him in six.

"So, Lupin," Cassius said casually, as he traced a pale finger over one of Remus's scars, "How many points do you think you can _earn_?"

"You tell me." Remus pulled Cassius into a deep, wet, slow kiss as he arched up against him.

* * *

"You can't hold my wrist while I do this." Remus shook his arm, trying to loosen Cassius' grasp. He'd lowered his arm for just a moment while he brushed his other hand through Cassius' hair when Cassius had gotten an iron hold on his wrist.

"Remus." The whisper had a plaintive, desperate note to it.

"I'm almost done. Can you manage a bit longer?"

"I…" Remus saw the anxiety flickering in the green depths of Cassius' eyes.

"Here." Remus pulled on Cassius' fingers and they slowly let go of Remus' wrist. Remus moved them to his throat, to the pulse point under the jaw. Feeling Remus's pulse or listening to his heartbeat calmed Cassius down whenever he had one of his panic attacks. Remus had known this for years. It wasn't unexpected when one considered the emotional and physical abuse Cassius had endured as a small child. Stevens had told him Cassius had been having anxiety attacks more often lately. Remus cursed Sirius silently for being the cause of them. "I'm almost done." Cassius's fingers pressed into his skin. He quickly finished cutting Cassius' hair. "There. Now, come upstairs with me."

They were on their bed a few minutes later. Cassius lay on top of Remus, his head resting over Remus' heart and his fingers still pressed against the pulse point on Remus' throat.

"You're all right. I've got you." Remus murmured, stroking his hand up and down Cassius' back. He could feel Cassius relaxing a little. "You're safe with me."

"You have to get going if Remus is going to be back at Hogwarts in time for dinner." Tabby stood in the doorway.

Cassius's hand clenched Remus's sweater in a silent plea.

"I'll owl Dumbledore and see if I can stay longer." Remus tried to move off the bed but was trapped under Cassius's weight.

"I'll get you a quill and a piece of paper." Tabby said, turning and walking down the hall towards the library.

"Sweetheart, you'll have to let me up so I can write." Remus murmured gently. Cassius shifted and sat up, allowing Remus to do the same. He was quickly pulled back against Cassius's chest, Cassius's hand sought Remus's heartbeat as Cassius buried his face in Remus's neck.

"Here you go." Tabby returned, holding out a quill and paper.

"Thanks." Remus quickly wrote a note to Dumbledore asking to return on New Year's Day. He would still be back three days before the end of the holiday break. He had brought home all his student work to grade and his books so he could plan lessons. He hoped Dumbledore would approve his request.

"I'll give it to Orlie."

"Thank you." Remus smiled gratefully at Tabby. She turned and he could hear her quick footsteps on the stairs.

"He'll let you stay with me, won't he?" Cassius murmured.

"I think so." Remus turned and pulled Cassius back into his arms. "I asked for five more days, that will be good, won't it?"

Remus felt Cassius's lips press against his neck in answer. He stroked his hand down Cassius's back murmuring more words of comfort. Slowly Remus could feel the anxiety ebbing away. They lay together for a while before either of them spoke again.

"I wish you didn't have to go back." Cassius's voice was muffled against his skin.

"I could see if Snape could take over. He's always whinging on about wanting the DADA job. You should have seen how excited he was when I asked him to teach my classes during the full moon a couple months back."

"He was probably excited just to be in the same room with you." Cassius muttered.

"What?"

"He has a crush on you." Cassius grimaced. "Can you imagine ever dating Snape?"

"No." Remus answered honestly, he couldn't. "How do you know that anyway?"

"Dumbledore told me. I couldn't figure out why he did, although now that I know he knows about us, he was probably trying to make me jealous."

"Were you jealous?"

"Of Snape?" Cassius laughed. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Really?"

"All right, I was jealous, but only because I'm jealous of anyone who spends time with you when I can't."

"You're so adorable when you're jealous." Remus paused, "Really, I could ask if he could take over the rest of the year."

"I thought you loved teaching." Cassius looked up at him.

"I do love teaching. But I love you more."

"I'll be all right." Cassius snapped, pulling away from him.

"I know." Remus replied gently, knowing he had somehow implied Cassius was weak, something Malfoys _never_ were. He'd never be 'allowed' to stay at Windy Corner now. "I did promise Harry that I would teach him how to do a Patronus."

"There, see? You can't stay home."

"Remus? Dumbledore owled back, he said that's fine!" Tabby called up the stairs. "There's more news but you can read it later."

"Thanks!" Remus shouted back.

"Too bad I can't get more time off. We'll only get to see each other in the evenings." Cassius muttered, plucking at the quilt.

"How did you get today off?" Remus asked, stroking Cassius's back. He'd been curious because he knew no aurors were being allowed extra vacation time while Sirius was on the loose. They got either Christmas or New Year's Day off in addition to their regular day off.

"I got today off because it's my 6th day." The aurors were working a five days on, one day off schedule. Cassius laid back down on the bed."I got Christmas off because I swapped with Bartleby. He wanted New Year's Day off and I agreed to work it so I could have Christmas off."

"Oh." Remus looked into Cassius's green eyes, they had lost the anxious shimmer. "They're happening more often, aren't they?"

"Yeah." Cassius pulled Remus down and rolled over on top of him, kissing his neck. He was trying to distract Remus from the subject but Remus was determined.

"Tabby has a calming potion you could try, when I go back to Hogwarts," Remus let out a short moan as Cassius nipped at the tender skin near his ear. "She says…_oh_...she says it helps with hers."

"I'm not a baby, I don't need to take a potion." Cassius said, negating the effect of his words by sounding like a sulky four year old.

"Tabby's not a baby either. She's a very brave woman who happens to have a stress-induced panic disorder and she takes a potion to help. Just…mmm...think about it for the next time, please? Please? Cassius?"

"Yes, Remus."

"Good." Remus checked that off his mental list of things he'd wanted to discuss with Cassius. Now he would just be in 'reminder mode', which was much less stressful than 'discussing subjects that had potential to turn into confrontations mode'.

"We can stay up here, can't we? Until tea?"

"Of course we can. We could take a nap."

"I'm not tired." Cassius protested quickly, looking into Remus's amber eyes. "Honestly, I've been sleeping really well since you got home."

"All right, all right." Remus laughed, kissing him briefly. "Then…what else could we do? I've still got papers to grade and you have Hogwarts: A History."

"Remus."

"Yes, you're right, grading papers is too boring, I'll read my new mystery book instead."

"Remus."

"Cassius."

"Why couldn't we have sex?" Cassius's fingers traced a pattern on Remus's chest.

"Sex? Twice in one day?" Remus pretended to look shocked.

"We've done it before, silly wife."

"Not since you turned 30. Think you're still up to the challenge?"

"You tell me." Cassius rubbed against him.

* * *

Author's Note: Chapter 31 won't be up for a few days because I realized I didn't have it all finished. I have the ones after that almost ready to post but I still have to fill in some things for the next chapter.

Noone, if you like your name, I like your name. :-) Thanks for your review!

Thanks to Mon2 for the idea about Snape having a crush on Remus…more will be filled in about that in the chapters to come. (giggle!)

Elkebaby, ah, a kindred spirit! Thanks for the reviews!

AffectedMangoO, I'm sorry I made you mad! I hope this chapter made it better.

Xhana, thanks for your first review!! I am glad you found the story! :-) Thanks for the compliment about the story fitting with the books, I really try hard with that.

Drastic Diner, yes, Sirius will be "lying low" at Windy Corner after Voldemort returns to power. That will be in Chapter 36, unless I expand one of the chapters between here and there (to include plot suggestions by reviewers)


	31. Quality Time

Did I saw it would take me a couple days to write this? I lied. (Bad me!) I spent the afternoon working on it and didn't balance my checkbook like I planned to do. This chapter has some humor in it because things were getting a little too angst-y for me. :-) I was actually laughing when I wrote part of it. :-) I think you'll know which part I am talking about. And, there's a part that is rather hot, if I do say so myself. Whew! (Fans self with hand) I_ love_ writing this story!!!

Elkebaby, you are _so_ on the money. :-) Mon2, thanks for the continuing support. I hope I don't disappoint with the Snape/Remus interaction – it will be in the next chapter. AffectedMangoO, I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I worked very hard on it because of your comments. :-)

**Chapter 31 – Quality Time**

Cassius had gone to work the next day and Remus was wandering into the sitting room when he suddenly thought about Clara. He needed someone to talk to about all the stuff he had learned recently. Someone who was only _his_ friend. He quickly owled her at the Ministry, asking her if she'd want to come over for lunch the following day. She responded immediately that she would love to.

That night, Remus and Cassius spent some time looking at old school pictures together. They talked about The Marauders, Lily, Harry and Owen. Afterwards they watched a movie and snuggled on the couch. Remus was very glad he'd asked for more time off.

* * *

Remus and Clara had finished eating lunch, having talked about her job, his job, mutual acquaintances from Hogwarts, and where they had each grown up.

"You know it takes me a while to warm up to people, when I meet someone new." Clara commented as she poured herself another cup of tea.

"Me too." Remus nodded.

"But you and I have only known each other a week."

"Is that all?" Remus felt surprised but he knew it was true.

"And I feel like we've been friends forever." Clara smiled warmly. "So, what did you really want to talk about?"

Remus smiled and started to talk.

"Wow. I never knew." Clara sat, her cup of tea still in her hand. She'd picked it up when Remus had started telling her about the letter from Lucius and the conversations with Dumbledore, Tabby and Stevens. The cup had stayed there, halfway to her mouth, as she listened. "Most of us thought he'd done a memory charm wrong."

"Really?"

"Well, my first year, he was in the hospital wing most of the time. I remember seeing him there when I broke my arm on Halloween, I'd been practicing riding my broom. I'd never seen him in the hallways before and he had all his books and everything in the ward, like he lived there. When he became Prefect, he was fine, like nothing had happened. No one stayed out after curfew when he was Head Boy, he just had to look at you and arch that eyebrow and you went running." Clara gave a little laugh. "But you didn't know?"

"No. I remember him a little from school, because he was on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, but that's it."

"And…you didn't find out until now. About Owen as well?"

"Yes."

"Did you just want to vent or did you want some advice?"

"Advice, please." Remus stirred some sugar into his cup. "And the venting was good too."

Clara finally took a sip of tea as she thought for a moment. "Must have been maddening to realize you didn't know about a big part of Cassius's life."

"That's an understatement." Remus said wryly.

"You _did_ tell him you were mad, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Good. Because…" Clara shook her head, stopping herself.

"Because what?" Remus asked. "Please, Clara, I know we don't know each other all that well, but you said we're friends. I need a friend, an honest friend."

She smiled. "I just…just…You have so much power when you're a werewolf, it's like you give it all up when you're in your human form. You need to realize you don't have to hide your power." Clara looked at him thoughtfully. "You let Cassius be in control a lot of the time. Like you did with James and Sirius." Clara mumbled the last sentence. "You can't be non-confrontational all the time. People will still like you even if you don't always let them have their way."

"I…" Remus had been going to protest the statements but he couldn't. "You're right. I'd never thought about it that way. I am getting better, though."

"I'm glad to hear that. I had to learn to not avoid confrontations too. So, I have wise advice." Clara nodded sagely.

"Really? What?"

"Remember that you're a Gryffindor so you must have courage inside somewhere."

"Good advice." Remus grinned. "Only works for Gryffindors though."

"No one's perfect." Clara made a face at him. "And now… I brought crème brulee for dessert." Clara reached for the covered pan and moved it in front of them both. "It's the only thing I really know how to bake well."

Remus smiled as he picked up his spoon and cracked into the burnt sugar top. "I'm glad we're friends."

"Me too."

* * *

Cassius and Remus were sitting on the couch in front of the fire in the sitting room after dinner that night. They'd just started talking about Snape.

"It'd be hilarious if you started flirting with him. He probably wouldn't know what to do. He's never dated anyone, that I know of. And he's never had sex."

"I don't even want to know how you know that."

"Draco wrote me that he asked him about something one of other boys had said and that Snape's face got all red and he stammered and ordered Draco to go to the library to look it up and stop pestering him."

"He could have just been embarrassed. The 'facts of life' speech is hard for some adults. Like Lucius giving you that book instead of talking to you."

"That book is a great book."

"It's pornographic!" Remus had been shown it when they'd been dating for almost a year because it included some ways to be intimate without penetration. He'd been shocked by all the pictures in it. It was like a wizard version of the Kama Sutra, with all sorts of different pairings included.

"I know – it's brilliant." Cassius grinned.

"It's not the type of thing you give a fourteen year old!"

"And how did your parents tell you about the facts of life?"

"My father sat me down, when I was eleven before I went to Hogwarts. He told me how men and women make babies, how some women love women and some men love men. Then he said that I always needed to remember that I was a werewolf. Because werewolves mate for life and so sex isn't something to be taken lightly." Cassius's voice joined his for the last few words.

"You really memorized that last part, didn't you." Cassius laughed.

"So did you, apparently."

"You said that to me every day practically when we were dating."

"Well, it's true. The first time a werewolf has sex, it will be driven to claim the partner as its mate." Remus's fingers automatically moved to touch the bite mark on Cassius's shoulder.

"Tell me something I don't know." He shivered as Remus's fingers stroked over the bite. "I…"

"What?"

"I like that you're a werewolf."

"Really?" Remus sat up so he could look at Cassius. "Because of all my gray hair, I suppose?"

"That's right. You've got a whole new bunch of it too."

"I do?" Remus's hands flew to his hair. He'd started graying when he was 19, he knew he shouldn't be vain about it but sometimes he couldn't help it. "Where?"

"Right here." Cassius's fingers threaded through a lock of hair near Remus's temple. "I like that we're bound together."

"Me too." Remus moved onto Cassius's lap and drew his face closer for a kiss. He rested his head on Cassius's shoulder and gazed towards the fire. "It's not so horribly bad being a werewolf since the wolfsbane potion was invented. And I've been able to find work lately, be accepted for what I am, make friends again."

Cassius kissed his forehead and they sat quietly, watching the fire.

* * *

The next evening was very similar. Cassius and Remus spent it together, enjoying their time together. Remus appreciated every moment with Cassius more since he knew how lonely he was at Hogwarts without his mate.

"I think Moody and Tabby need to get back together." Cassius said as he climbed into bed with Remus after checking all the wards on the house.

"You do." Remus put his bookmark into his book and set it on the nightstand.

"They still love each other." Cassius cuddled up next to Remus, laying his head on Remus's shoulder. "They need to be together again."

"And how do you propose to accomplish this task?"

"I don't know…I'll have to see if there are any books that can help me. And then I'll devise a cunning plan."

"Good luck with that." Remus patted Cassius's shoulder before sliding his hand down his mate's back and under his shirt.

"You're not going to help?"

"I'll help as much as I can, just let me know what to do once you've got it all figured out."

"Can you imagine them together…having sex?" Cassius asked slowly.

"Oh! No! No. _No_. _**NO!**_" Remus clapped his other hand over his eyes. "You are evil for putting any such image into my head."

"Do you think he takes his leg off for it?"

"Stop!" Remus yelled as he pushed Cassius off him. "Oh! Ugh!" Cassius's green eyes were sparkling with laughter. "

"And he's missing part of his tongue…poor Tabby. He's probably not that good at-."

"Stop! Cassius, stop!" Remus clapped his hands over his ears. "You'll be missing part of _your_ tongue if you don't stop talking right _NOW_!"

"You wouldn't do that." Cassius kissed Remus's neck. "You like my tongue too much." The tongue in question swirled around Remus's ear causing him to shiver and press closer to Cassius. "You especially like it when my tongue does this." Cassius unbuttoned Remus's pajama top and traced over one of Remus's scars with his tongue. Remus's hands clenched in Cassius's hair as he gasped and arched up, seeking to get closer to the teasing, wet tongue as it moved across his chest to trace over another scar.

"You have scars that spell my name, you know that?" Cassius pulled Remus's pajama pants off.

"I do?" Remus was getting lost in a haze of desire as Cassius's warm hands stroked over his body.

"There's a 'C' here." Cassius's hot tongue traced over an arc on Remus's hip bone. "An 'A' here." The tongue traced over an upside down V on Remus's right thigh. "You have to imagine the cross bar." Cassius licked across between the two lines. "An 'S' here." Cassius licked three lines on Remus's ribs that looked like a backwards z. He moved back up Remus's body to look into Remus's eyes. "And on your back are two arcs that you can connect to make another 'S'."

"You're not going to lick them one too?" Remus's voice caught in his throat as fingers caressed his inner thigh.

"Turn over." The order was a husky whisper. Remus complied immediately, feeling himself trembling with arousal. Cassius's tongue licked an 'S' on his back under his left shoulder blade.

"Please, Cass." Remus whimpered. Cassius licked up Remus's spine and then traced over the bite mark on his shoulder. "Please."

"Please what?" Cassius brushed his lips against Remus's ear as he asked.

"You know."

"Lucky for you, I _do_ know." He pulled Remus up onto his knees.

"Wait! I need to see you," Remus pleaded. Cassius let go of his hips so that Remus could turn over on to his back. He reached out his arms and pulled Cassius close. "Now, please."

* * *

New Year's Eve was a quiet evening because Cassius had to work the next day. Remus didn't care. He didn't like loud parties, even if they had been able to go to one together like Stevens and Clara had.

"You'll owl everyday. You promised." Remus wrapped his arms around Cassius's neck.

"Yes, Remus."

"And you'll take the potion Poppy made for us."

"I don't have to take that for three weeks, right?"

"Right. But you'll take when three weeks have gone by, right?"

"Yes, Remus."

"And if you have a panic attack, you'll try Tabby's potion?"

"Yes, Remus." Cassius was sounding more put upon with every response.

"And…" Remus thought hard. "You'll eat and everything."

"_Yes_, Remus."

"And you'll be safe, when you're on assignment."

"I'll be all right." Cassius kissed him. "You be safe too, please."

"I will be." Remus kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you in three months."

"All right."

"You have to let me go, otherwise I can't Disapparate to the Ministry."

"Oh, sorry." Remus let his mate go reluctantly. "Wait, kiss me again."

Cassius pulled Remus into a kiss that made Remus's knees weak. He let Remus go and a second later he was gone.

* * *

Ok, umm…let's make it a challenge: six reviews and I'll update. Go on, you know you want to! 


	32. When the Wife's Away

6 reviews already!!! Thanks to Peegchica and MoonyPadfootJr :I've missed your reviews, glad to have you back! Thanks Elkebaby, Noone, AffectedMangoO and Mon2.

This is long (9 pages in Word) but hopefully that's not too much for people. :-)

**Chapter 32 When the Wife's Away**

"Ow! Get off me!" Cassius groaned with pain as Stevens's elbow dug harder into his ribs. Stevens giggled then snorted as he rolled off his friend. He lay there for a moment before sitting up suddenly, checking that he had all of his body parts. He checked Cassius over too.

"Woo hoo!" He grinned down at Cassius. "Once again, drunken Apparating is a success!"

"Hoorah for us!" Cassius held his hand up for a high five. Stevens managed to hit Cassius's hand through a miracle of coordination.

"We didn't stick the landing. The British judge gives us a seven." Stevens flopped back down on the floor.

"The Russian judge gives us a five point six. Bastard." Cassius pulled himself up onto Stevens's couch. "And remember, we are _not_ telling Remus we did that."

"Like I ever want to hear the 'you could have splinched yourself' speech again." Stevens shuddered as he remembered Remus's lecture after last year's birthday celebrations. He and Cassius had Apparated into the bathtub, so tangled up that they couldn't get themselves out. Remus had had a captive audience for his thirteen minute lecture, Stevens marveled how every year the lecture got longer, then it had taken ten minutes to get themselves separated and standing on the bathroom floor. He grabbed Cassius's boot suddenly as he thought of something. "You're not going to get in trouble for the tattoo, are you?"

"Nah, Remus likes the other one." Cassius leaned his head back against the cushions. "The room is spinning."

"I know."

"I'm hungry."

"Me too."

"Well, get us something to eat!"

"I'm the birthday boy, you get it."

"Fine." Cassius stood, then swayed for a moment. "Where's your kitchen?"

"The same place it's been for the past seven years."

"Fucker. Where is that?"

"That way." Stevens flung his left arm out and pointed to the doorway.

Cassius carefully stepped over Stevens and a moment later there was a loud crash from the kitchen accompanied by more swearing.

"I hope you didn't like that vase." Cassius yelled.

"If it was impeding the arrival of the food, I hated it!"

"Ouch! Mmphr Fumrr."

"What'd you do now?"

"Burned my damn hand." Cassius walked out of the kitchen, levitating a pizza in front of him. "Stupid heating charm."

"You are a god." Stevens sat up as Cassius set the pizza on the coffee table. "A god who can't do competent 4th year charms."

"Bite me." Cassius stuck his tongue out as he sat down on the floor across from Stevens and held his hand out.

"Yup, you burned it all right." Stevens looked at the hand thoughtfully.

"Will you just heal it?"

Stevens reached into his coat pocket and retrieved his wand. He did a healing spell on Cassius's hand. "Anything else or can I eat now?"

"You can eat." Cassius pulled off his coat – or tried to. "I'm stuck."

"When I was 30, I could drink 8 shots of fire whiskey AND take my coat off afterwards." Stevens said proudly, around a mouthful of pizza.

"You've always been my hero." Cassius said dryly, finally yanking his right hand from his coat sleeve. He grabbed a piece of pizza and took a big bite.

"Hello?" Clara opened the door and peeked her head in.

"Clara!"

"It's Clara!"

"It's Clara!"

"I know!"

"You're both pissed!!" Clara shut the door behind her and walked across the room.

"What?"

"She means we're drunk." Stevens whispered loudly.

"I know what she means, I was trying to deny it." Cassius whispered loudly back.

"Oh…crap. I've gone and completely admitted it, like an idiot, haven't I?"

"You have. You're not my hero anymore."

"Oh, Cassie, don't be that way." Stevens started to crawl around the coffee table.

"Oh, no, get away!" Cassius tried to move backwards but didn't move quickly enough to escape Stevens's tickling fingers. "St…st…st……op. Op!" Cassius couldn't stop laughing long enough to get a whole word out.

Clara shook her head as she sat down and reached for a piece of pizza. "So does this mean we're not watching the Star Wars trilogy tonight?"

Stevens immediately stopped tickling Cassius to look over at Clara. "'I find your lack of faith disturbing'." (1)

Cassius covered his mouth and imitated Darth Vader's breathing for a moment before both he and Stevens broke out in giggles. Clara wished she had a muggle video camera. _No one_ at work would believe that Auror Malfoy got drunk and _giggled_.

"Can you move off me now so I could have another piece of pizza?" Cassius asked.

"Not until you say I'm your hero again."

"I'm your hero again."

"Good enough." Stevens got up and crawled over to Clara.

"So, you had a fun afternoon?" Clara asked as Stevens climbed onto the couch next to her.

"Brilliant." Stevens flung his arm around her and pulled her close into a deep kiss, then suddenly sat up and pulled his shirt off. "Look"

Clara stared at the intricate design that now covered Stevens's upper chest above his heart. "Wow." She reached out and traced over a bit of it. "It's beautiful."

Stevens sat back. "Cassie got one too."

"You did?"

"Mmm." Cassius answered with a few more words that Clara couldn't understand due to the fact he was eating pizza.

"What'd he say?"

"He said it's on his back and he'd show you when he was done eating." Stevens leaned forward and grabbed another piece of pizza.

"He said all that?"

"No clue, really." Stevens accio'd some bottles of soda from his cooling cupboard. "Cassie, put the tape in."

Cassius waved his hand and a videotape levitated up and into the muggle VCR. A moment later, the Star Wars theme song was beginning. Clara had seen the movies with her muggle cousins when they had come out in the theatre, but watching with Cassius and Stevens was an entirely different, and hilarious, experience.

* * *

"Lupin." Snape sneered as he walked into the staff room.

"Hello, Severus." Was it his overactive imagination or were Snape's cheeks turning pink? He'd been using Snape's first name since the beginning of the year as an attempt to be friendly with him and emphasis that they were both professors now, not school boys. "Did you have a nice holiday?"

"Hardly. I was here." Snape answered scornfully, there was a slight pause. "And where were you?"

"My aunt invited me to stay, unexpectedly." Remus replied lightly. He took a step towards Snape who took a step back. "Good thing you did that."

"What?" Snape glared at Remus.

"Mistletoe." Remus smiled and pointed towards the ceiling. "Albus must have forgotten he put it up there. You were right under it."

Snape's face turned red as he whirled around and stormed out of the staff room. Remus waited until the door had slammed behind him before letting out a short laugh. He owled Cassius later that day telling him about the conversation, making sure to be clear about the fact that he and Snape had NOT actually kissed.

* * *

In early February, Stevens met Clara for lunch at the Ministry. As they entered the cafeteria and looked around for somewhere to sit, they saw Cassius across the room. Cassius was eating at the end of one of the long tables in the cafeteria. No one was sitting near him.

"There's Cassie. He looks…" Clara trailed off, she had been going to say lonely, but in fact Cassius didn't look lonely, he didn't look like anything. His face was devoid of emotion and he was eating, reading a report in front of him.

"He does look a bit off, doesn't he?" Stevens looked at his friend with concern. Clara looked up at her boyfriend. They'd been dating over eight months now and every day she realized how special he was. He'd kept up the playboy persona for the first few months, which was very attractive, but he was really a very caring, considerate, smart man, which was even more attractive.

"Come on. You have no idea just how cool I will be if I eat lunch with Cassius Malfoy and live to tell the tale." Clara took his hand and started over towards the table.

"Hey, Cassie." Stevens sat down close to Cassius and Clara sat opposite.

"Hello." Cassius's voice was sleek. Clara couldn't believe it was the same man she had been getting to know since the Christmas holidays.

"What's going on?"

"Black got into the Gryffindor dorms last night."

"What?" Stevens and Clara both gasped.

"One of the 3rd year boys woke up with Black standing over him, holding a knife."

"Was it Harry Potter?" As a loyal Gryffindor, Clara knew that Harry Potter had been sorted into Gryffindor and was in his third year.

"No, one of Arthur Weasley's children."

"Merlin." Clara couldn't believe it. "How'd he get past the Dementors?"

"We don't know." Cassius replied coolly. Clara looked closely at him and noticed that he was rocking back and forth _very_ slightly. She looked over at Stevens and knew he had noticed it as well. As soon as they had sat down, food had appeared in front of them. Now, Stevens leaned forward, set his left forearm on the table next to his plate, and picked up his fork with his right hand. Clara picked up her fork too and started to eat.

"Did they catch him?" Stevens asked calmly before taking a bite.

"No. Dumbledore had Hogwarts searched but Black was nowhere to be found."

"Well, he'll be caught soon enough." Clara echoed an agreement and watched as Cassius's right hand slowly moved the few inches towards Stevens's arm.

"Have you heard from him?" Stevens looked over at Clara and smiled as Cassius's fingers slipped under the folds of his sleeve near his wrist. Remus had mentioned to her that Cassius had panic attacks and felt better if he could feel someone else's pulse. She was suddenly glad they had joined Cassius for lunch so that Stevens could calm him. She smiled back at Stevens.

"No." Cassius shrugged. "He can't owl me here."

"I'm sure he's fine. The reports would have said if he wasn't." Stevens said soothingly. Cassius nodded. "We were thinking of going to the movies tonight. Want to come?"

"No."

"Come on, you can tell us what the movie was about."

"Why wouldn't you know what the movie was about?" Clara noticed that Cassius had stopped rocking but his hand was still hidden under Stevens's sleeve. "Because I'll be busy snogging the prettiest witch in the world." Stevens winked at Clara who laughed. Cassius started to laugh with her. Clara looked around the cafeteria and noticed that many witches and wizards were looking on, slack jawed as Cassius Malfoy actually laughed.

"What movie is it?"

"The Princess Bride."

"We've seen that millions of times."

"Clara hasn't." Stevens shrugged.

"I think I'll go home."

"Spoilsport. Come on."

"Yes, come with us. Cassie, it'd be fun, you need to have fun." Clara added her voice to the argument.

"What time's the movie?"

"Eight o'clock. So you could go home, read his letter and then come with us."

"All right."

* * *

Cassius was reading a book about Dementors at his desk a few hours later. He was trying to figure out how Black was able to get past them.

"I thought you'd stopped that." Hill's voice made Cassius jump.

"What?" Cassius whirled around.

"That." Hill pointed. Cassius looked down and noticed he'd chewed two of his fingers bloody while he'd been reading.

"Oh." Cassius felt his face get hot for a moment before he clamped down on his emotions. Malfoys didn't show shame. He could hear his father shouting at him. And then…Regulus was hurt and something was going to happen…

"Hold it out." Hill's voice caused him to jump a second time.

"What?"

"Have you gone deaf, Malfoy? I said hold it out. I'll do a healing spell on them. You can't bleed all over everywhere." Hill looked pissed off.

"Oh." Cassius held his hand out. Hill took hold of it like it was something very distasteful and waved his wand over it. The blood and tearing disappeared instantly.

"There." Hill dropped his hand abruptly.

"Thanks."

Hill stood there for a moment, looking at Cassius with an unreadable expression. Cassius wasn't sure what to do, he'd said thanks, was there something else he should say? "It must be hard for you…"

"What must be?" Cassius felt bewildered, he and Hill hadn't spoken civilly to each other since early in their 7th year.

"Black being on the loose, your cousin and all that."

"If you're going to accuse me of being a Death Eater just because Black is my cousin– " Cassius felt himself getting angry.

"No." Hill cut him off sharply. "Never mind. Look, if you make yourself bleed again…you know you shouldn't chew your fingers anyway, but if you do, I'll do a healing spell on them for you. If you want."

"Oh." Cassius wondered if Hill had recently hit his head on assignment. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. And I mean that." Hill turned and walked towards the cubicle opening. "It's time for the briefing, Kingsley sent me to get you."

* * *

"This is ridiculous. He obviously has someone inside the castle helping him." Snape huffed as they made a final loop around the castle before curfew.

"If you're trying to bait me, it won't work." Remus said calmly. "I'm _not_ helping him."

"So you say." Snape's voice dripped with scorn.

"Severus, I really thought after all these years, we'd be able to put our school days behind us."

"Maybe _you_ can forget."

"It was a foolish prank."

"It wasn't a prank! It was a deliberate attempt to kill me because he'd found-"

"Found what?"

"Nothing." Snape said sharply as he whirled around and started back towards the castle, leaving Remus standing alone near Hagrid's cottage. Remus shook his head. He couldn't see how Snape really had a crush on him since he was always so vile. And what had Sirius found? Had Snape had a crush on him in school? Remus couldn't remember ever actually talking to Snape. Surely, Snape hadn't had a crush on him all these years. As Remus turned and walked back towards the castle, he could have sworn he saw something move on the edge of the forest but when he looked back, there was nothing. (2)

* * *

Remus arrived home for the Easter Holiday while Tabby was fixing breakfast.

"Remus! We didn't expect you until dinner!" Tabby said as she hugged him.

"I know…I couldn't wait."

"How'd you get home?"

"I walked to Hogsmeade and flooed from there." Remus pulled his trunk out of his pocket where he'd put it after shrinking it. "Where's Cass?"

"Upstairs. He and Stevens are still sleeping." Tabby answered. "They're in your room. Go wake them up, breakfast is almost ready." Tabby ordered gently.

Remus hurried up the stairs and opened the door to their bedroom. Stevens and Cassius were sleeping, Stevens stretched out on his back, Cassius curled up next to his side, his hand resting over Stevens' heart. One of Stevens's arms was pinned under Cassius. "Wake up, sleepy heads." Remus said quietly, walking over to the bed. Stevens woke first, and tried to extricate his arm.

"Morning. It is still morning, isn't it?" He said, voice crackly from sleep.

Remus nodded. "Breakfast is ready." Remus shook Cassius' shoulder. "Cass, wake up." One emerald eye opened and looked at Remus.

"You're home!" Cassius rolled over and threw his arms around Remus, pulling him down onto the bed. "You weren't due home until tonight!" Cassius kissed Remus.

"If you're going to have sex, would you at least let me get off the bed, please?" Stevens let out a small yelp. "And _that's_ me."

"Oh! Sorry." Remus blushed furiously, pulling away from Cassius. Cassius sat up, freeing Stevens's arm.

"I think my arm's dead." Stevens moaned as he quickly left the room. "Tabby, my love, it'll just be you and me for breakfast." Remus could hear his voice floating up the stairs as Cassius's hands pulled off his shirt.

* * *

1) Quote from Star Wars (A New Beginning, aka the first one)

2) Thanks to Mon2 for the idea that Sirius knew about Snape's crush back in the day and that was why he pulled the prank. Because he was jealous! Remus seems to inspire insane jealousy in those he loves – it's because he's so wonderful!!

7 reviews and I'll update because the next chapter is ready (Yes I am greedy for reviews!)Preview – Cassius finds out what caused his memory to be bad!


	33. Untitled

Author's Notes: Notes to reviewers at the end. This actually needed a slight bit of polishing before I posted so it took me an extra day. Enjoy!

**Chapter 33 Untitled**

"I want to see the new tattoo." Remus gasped, pulling at Cassius's shirt, as Cassius's hands stroked down to his hips.

"Later." Cassius kissed down Remus's throat and pulled Remus's sweater up over his head.

"No, now." Remus arched upwards to get more contact with Cassius. "Please."

Cassius pulled away, yanking off his t-shirt and sat up, turning his back to Remus. "There, happy?"

"Yes." Remus reached out and traced over Celtic design between Cassius's shoulder blades. Cassius shivered as Remus's cool fingers trailed over his skin. "Does it symbolize something?"

"A wolf."

"Did you get it because of me?"

"No, Remus, I got it because it was pretty." Cassius turned around and pulled Remus into his arms. "Of course, I got it because of you….and because it's pretty."

"It is pretty." Remus kissed his mate. "I like it. It'll give me something to look at when I…you know."

"No, Remus, I don't know." Cassius arched his eyebrow at Remus who promptly turned pink.

"You know, when I'm, you know, behind you." Remus murmured.

"I didn't know you got bored with the scenery." Cassius grinned as he pulled off the rest of his clothing.

"I didn't say that, I was just saying, that…" Remus stopped himself because now Cassius was naked he couldn't think what he'd just been saying. "I missed you."

"Good save." Cassius reached down and unbuttoned Remus's pants. "Want to see how you like it?"

"Like what?" Remus couldn't process the question as all his blood rushed to his groin.

"How you like looking at my new tattoo when you 'you know'."

Over an hour later, Remus decided that he definitely liked Cassius's new tattoo.

* * *

Cassius was still working 6 days a week so for the first four days that Remus was home, they were only together in the evenings. But then Cassius was able to get the Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the Easter Holiday off and they spent it together, talking, taking drives, but mostly they spent it in bed.

* * *

The night before he went back to Hogwarts, Remus waited until Cassius and Clara were talking about some changes in the Ministry staff during dinner to talk to Stevens.

"He had that dream again. He's remembering more of it. He sees Regulus get hurt, then his father takes him home to the basement. He wakes up in pain, yelling in Malfoy-speak."

"Huh." Stevens set his tea down.

"I think we should tell him." Remus looked over at Cassius.

"Do you really think we should?" Stevens followed his gaze.

"If the memories are starting to resurface…" Remus took a deep breath. "I think his brother should be the one to do it. He knows the most about what happened.

"Do you want me to contact him?"

"No, I'll do it."

"You sure?"

"Yes." Remus replied firmly.

* * *

Cassius went to Malfoy Manor a couple weeks after Remus returned to Hogwarts. Lucius had sent an owl inviting him for a visit. As his younger brother walked into the study, Lucius stood to greet him. He noticed with relief that Cassius had gained back the weight he'd lost and did not look tired. Lucius's happiness at seeing his brother well was tempered by the owl he'd received from Cassius's lover. Cassius was starting to remember things about his memory problem. The lover wrote that it was time for Cassius to know and Lucius was the best one to do it. Lucius had prepared for four days to tell Cassius the truth. They sat down to play a game of chess while Lucius worked up his nerve to speak.

"Cassius…"

"Yes?" Cassius looked across the chessboard at his brother.

"Do you ever have dreams about Father?"

"Why?"

"I do…sometimes. I won't have thought about Father for months and then out of the blue, I'll dream about him."

Cassius was silent for a moment. "I've been having dreams about being in the basement with Father."

"And?" Lucius asked gently.

"He hurts me. I…I tell him it's not my fault," Cassius's brows knit together in concentration as he thought of the dream. "That Sirius did it. But he doesn't listen. I can't remember what Sirius did."

"He did a prank on Regulus." Lucius said. "Regulus was badly injured. I don't know if Sirius meant for it to happen the way it did. But he placed the blame on you."

Cassius took a deep breath. "Did Father…in my dreams…I hear him say Crucio."

"Yes, he used the Cruciatus curse on you. You were twelve." Lucius reached out his hand to Cassius who was starting to chew his fingers. He'd had the habit since he was a small boy. He gently held Cassius' hand in his. "I was away, with Narcissa, on our honeymoon. I didn't know what had happened until the next day when we returned home. Father was drunk in his study, babbling incoherently. I asked him where you were but he didn't answer. I did a locating spell and found you in the basement. You didn't know who I was…you didn't know your name. I was frantic, I took you to Saint Mungo's. I wish…I would have stopped him, I never would have let him do that to you."

"He did that?" Cassius gazed over at the portrait of their father that hung over the fireplace. It had been frozen years ago and no longer moved or spoke. "I don't remember it happening, just when I dream. It doesn't seem real."

"Cassie…" Lucius debated within himself what to say next. "You sometimes have trouble remembering things."

"I know that." Cassius snapped.

"You weren't always like this." Lucius said slowly.

"Oh?"

"When Father used the curse on you…he…he hurt your memory…all the pain…" Lucius had to stop because of a lump in his throat. He swallowed hard, reminding himself that Malfoys did not cry, and started to speak again when Cassius spoke first.

"Like the Longbottoms?"

"Yes."

"But I'm not like them now."

"No. The healers had potions that helped you, potions that weren't able to help the Longbottoms. It took you almost two years to recover." Lucius continued to talk about the weeks spent in the hospital, about the decision to let Cassius return to school and the agreement Lucius had made with Dumbledore. Lucius told about visiting him daily at school during his 2nd year and Cassius sometimes not remembering his own name or who Lucius was. Lucius told him how worried they had been. But Cassius was strong and he had recovered, slowly, but he had never returned to the way he had been. Lucius told Cassius how his friends had become his protectors, making sure he wouldn't get lost or hurt. He also told how their father had been driven mad by remorse, unable to face his sons sober he had turned to different potions to get through his days – until the day he cursed Cassius with the Hemalia hex and Lucius had killed him. Finally, Lucius fell silent. He watched Cassius carefully for his reaction.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I thought it was for the best. Dumbledore and I talked for a long time about it… For the first year, we didn't know if you'd really recover…then when you did, you didn't seem to remember what happened and… we thought…we didn't want to hurt you anymore than you already had been. Your memory has been getting better and better over the years. But lately, with Cousin Sirius on the loose, you've been thinking about him a lot. And your brain has healed enough that I think it's allowing you to remember. Your lover thought it was time that you found out everything. He owled me last week and asked me to tell you."

Cassius looked at him sharply. "How did he know?"

"I wrote him." Green eyes narrowed dangerously. "Moody has been the middle man, I have no idea who your lover is. I swear it." Cassius didn't respond for a moment then nodded. "Are you angry with me?"

"No…" Cassius said slowly.

"I did what I thought was best for you at the time." Lucius squeezed Cassius's hand, realizing he'd been holding it all this time.

"I know, Luke."

"You're the best one of all of us, you know. I had to…"

"I know." Cassius gazed at his brother and then smiled. "I love you, too."

* * *

"Stevens!" Cassius yelled when he had Apparated back to Windy Corner.

"How was the visit?" Stevens walked into the sitting room, he'd been waiting anxiously in the kitchen with Tabby.

"Luke told me…he explained what the dream means."

"Did he?" Stevens said more calmly than he felt.

"He told me everything. He said you knew, you and Owen were my protectors." Stevens nodded. "He said he told Remus a few months ago."

"Yes, just before your birthday."

"And Remus thought I should know now."

"Yes. Remus doesn't like secrets." Stevens grinned ruefully.

Cassius sat down in the chair by the fire. "It doesn't seem real. I just thought I was making it up, in my dream."

"I'm glad…I'm glad you don't really remember it." Stevens sat in the chair across from Cassius. "It must have been horrible." They were silent for a bit while Stevens tried to think what to say next.

"Stevens, were you my friend…before?" He gazed into the fire, avoiding Stevens's gaze.

"No. I knew who you were, since we were in the same house…but no, we weren't friends."

"So…why were you asked to help me?"

"Because you were on the Quidditch team, and I was Captain." Stevens smiled. "It was either agree or lose a bloody good chaser." Cassius smiled sadly. "Cassie…I might not have been your friend before, but I became your friend after…and I'm glad I did."

"Were…you weren't my friend before because I was a Malfoy?" Cassius' voice was very quiet.

"No! No, I wasn't your friend before because you were a little first year and I was a third year."

"Oh." Cassius looked relieved.

"Good." Stevens stood. "Now, let's talk more in the kitchen so I can eat. I don't know about you, but I'm starving. I couldn't eat all day wondering how upset you'd be."

"You were nervous because of me?" Cassius arched his eyebrow and looked at Stevens as he stood up too.

"This is nothing, you should have seen me when you took your auror exam. Threw up all morning. Pathetic, really." Stevens threw his arms around Cassius, kissing him soundly on the cheek. "Tabby was nervous today too, she baked your favorite cake."

"She did?!" Cassius struggled to get out of Stevens' hold.

"Oh, no! I get the first piece." Stevens let go and started to run towards the kitchen. "I'm older."

"It's _my_ favorite." Cassius jumped on Stevens' back. They arrived in the kitchen by falling onto the floor, wrestling.

"Boys." Clara walked over to them and tapped one foot. "Honestly, there must be something hormonal that causes you to regress to children when you are around one another."

"He started it." Cassius gasped, struggling to get loose from Stevens's hold.

"Did not." Stevens growled. "When did you get here?" He looked up at his girlfriend while he tickled Cassius who laughed uncontrollably as he tried to get away.

"Just now. Tabby used the floo to call me over." Clara smiled down at both of them.

"Cassie. Stevens. Stop it before I have to separate the two of you." Tabby said walking over and rapping Stevens' head sharply with her wand. "One. Two." Stevens and Cassius quickly let go of each other. Cassius struggled to his feet still gasping for air. "Dearie." Tabby hugged him tightly. "Come over for a piece of cake and some tea."

"Thanks, Tabby, I'm fine." Stevens muttered as he got to his feet. Clara kissed him.

Cassius sat down at the kitchen table and Tabby set a large piece of cake in front of him. "Thanks, Tabby."

Tabby brushed her hand through his pale hair. "You're all right? Do you want a sandwich? More tea?" She asked, looking at him with concern in her brown eyes.

"Mmmph." Cassius answered with his mouth full of cake.

"If you need to talk, we're all here for you." Tabby sat down next to him and patted his arm.

"I know you are." Cassius reached for his tea.

"I thought you'd be angry that none of us told you." Tabby said slowly, there were no signs that Cassius was upset at all.

"Well…no…I mean…I probably wouldn't have believed you if you'd told me before I started having the dreams. And…you didn't tell me because you love me, don't you?"

"That's right." Tabby nodded, smiling at Cassius. He returned her smile.

"It's a lot to process…but I think it's actually nice knowing. I feel…better."

"Really?" Stevens sputtered as he choked on his tea. Clara patted him on the back.

"Well…I just thought I was dumb, that I had to have special tutors and everything at school because I was stupid. And my bloody bad memory, forgetting things, I thought something was wrong with me…and now I know the reason."

"Yes." Tabby answered. "Yes, you deserved to be a Ravenclaw. And you deserve to be an Auror. You got very high marks in school – except your 2nd and 3rd years. Best showing of NEWTS in thirty years. How you could think you were dumb is beyond me." Tabby said, sipping her tea.

"Father always said it." Cassius shrugged.

"Your father was an insane old bastard, even before he went mad." Stevens said firmly. "You shouldn't have listened to a word the man uttered."

"Amen." Tabby said vehemently.

* * *

_Dear Wife,_

_I saw my brother today. He told me about what happened when I was twelve. I know you already know. Thank you for asking him to tell me. Everyone was worried I'd be upset. But I'm not. Would you be upset? I mean, there's nothing I can do now, right? And I've managed all this time, and it's not like Father didn't do other horrible things that I did know about. I wish I could talk to you about it. Things don't seem real until I talk to you about them. Do you think I'll still have the nightmares now that I know? I wish you were here. I don't have nightmares as much when you're here._

_Love, Husband_

* * *

_Darling Husband,_

_I'm glad you know and I'm glad you aren't upset now. Did you have a nightmare last night? I'm so sorry I'm not there to talk to you about it. And I'm sorry I'm not home to help keep the nightmares away. We could fire talk if you want? I'm worried about you._

_Love, Wife_

* * *

_Wife,_

_Tell Tabby and Stevens that I don't need to be babied anymore! They both follow me around and ask if I'm sure I'm all right. I am all right, damn it. Please tell them. And no, we can't fire talk, it's not safe. I'll wait until you're home. And yes, I'm still having the nightmares only not so much as before._

_I love you._

_Husband_

* * *

_Dearest Husband,_

_I hope Tabby and Stevens have been less bothersome lately, I did owl them. If you continue to have the nightmares, (are they getting better?) you know you can take Dreamless Sleep Potion. I know you don't like to but you need your rest. And don't lose your temper at me for suggesting it because I'm only saying it because I love you._

_You'll never guess what happened today! Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup!! It's the first time since Charlie Weasley graduated seven years ago. Harry caught the snitch to win the game. He's an amazing seeker. Although I'm not supposed to take sides, of course I was very happy that Gryffindor won. You should have seen Snape's face, it was priceless, like someone had taken away his favorite toy. I only wish James and Lily could be here to see their son. He's really a wonderful young man, I know they would be proud._

_You haven't owled in three days. I seem to recall someone (that would be you, in case you're wondering) promising to owl daily if I did certain things to said person's body. You're falling down on your end of the bargain. I guess that means you don't want those things to happen again…which is too bad because I rather enjoy them._

_Love, Your Wife_

* * *

Author's Notes: I'm in a bit of a pickle. I told you all that Sirius would appear in Chapter 36…but I've filled out one of the chapters more so it's going to get split in two which means that Sirius will appear in Chapter 37. BUT, never fear, I will post two of the chapters together so the time period for which you will be waiting for Sirius will be the same. Everyone ok with that? :-) And…the next chapter won't be posted until at least Friday afternoon. :-) But I am anxious to get it posted because I have worked REALLY hard on it.

Thank you to my loyal reviewers: noone, Padfoot, MoonyPadfootJr, peegchica (yes there will be drama when Sirius shows up – actually the drama starts next chapter!!!!), Silly (I'm glad you found my story and I am SO glad you like it! Thanks for the compliment about my story fitting in with the books! I try VERY hard to make it so.), elkebaby (thanks for the compliment on the drunk scene in last chapter, I had fun writing it), TiffanyLM (thanks for your first review!) Mon2 (I'm glad you liked the chapter! I don't have much more Snape moments in the coming chapters because I don't want to push back the arrival of Sirius more than I already have, but perhaps when the story reaches OOTP time period, I will include more then), Meike, and drastic diner(Hill was introduced in Chapter 15. And yes, Umbridge will be mentioned. The bitch.)


	34. An Innocent Man

**Chapter 34 An Innocent Man**_

* * *

_

_Dearest Lovely Wife,_

_I'm sorry I didn't owl, I was on assignment the past two weeks. Kingsley can vouch for me so don't punish me by not repeating that thing you did when I made my promise. I enjoy it too. _

_I guess I'm glad to hear that Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup. It's too bad Ravenclaw hasn't had a decent team in years._

_Love, Husband_

* * *

_Dearest Husband,_

_Dumbledore asked me if I would teach next year. I would like to. May I? We could rent a small flat in Hogsmeade so we could be together every weekend. Please think about it and owl me back. Dumbledore would like to know in the next few days._

_Exams start next week and then a week after that I'll be home! _

_Love, Wife_

* * *

_Dear Wife,_

_Yes, you may teach there next year. We'll have to see about the flat. That plan would only work if Black has been caught by then._

_Stevens thinks he can get tickets for the World Cup. Would you want to go? You could go as Clara's friend so we could all go together._

_Love, Husband_

* * *

_Dear Husband,_

_Of course, I want to go to the World Cup! Why are you even asking? That would be brilliant!_

_Dumbledore was happy to hear that I'd be teaching next year. So was Snape, I think, although his expression never seems to change. Maybe, when you've finished with your current matchmaking project, you could help Snape? I think he could use some major sexual healing._

_Love, Your Wife_

* * *

_Wife,_

_Are you trying to traumatize me? I have enough nightmares as it is without thinking of Snape having sex. Yuck! _

_Just over a week now and you'll be home. I miss you so much. I can't wait for you to be home…and to have you in our bed again._

_Love, Your Husband_

* * *

That night, Cassius stalked down the corridor to the Auror Headquarters meeting room. It was almost midnight. He'd received an owl, urgently ordering him to the Ministry. 

"Sirius Black has been caught by Professor Severus Snape." Worth announced, once all the aurors were assembled. There were murmurs of surprise throughout the room. "Black had kidnapped Harry Potter and two other students and taken them to the Shrieking Shack. Snape followed them. Black is an unregistered animagus, which was how he was able to elude us all this time. It seems Professor Remus Lupin had knowledge of that fact and was collaborating with Black, helping him infiltrate Hogwarts." Cassius felt himself stiffen. That couldn't be true! "Lupin is a werewolf. Since it is the full moon, he is currently transformed in the Forbidden Forest and has not been apprehended at this time."

Minister Fudge rushed into the room. "Sirius Black has escaped. You are all ordered to find him at once! And when his accomplice Lupin is human again – capture him and send him to Azkaban!"

There was a loud crash as the table in the staff room flew across the floor and smashed against the wall, narrowly missing Fudge. Cassius felt everyone's eyes turn to him. He looked down where his wand was gripped tightly in his hand. He had a vague memory of getting his wand out but he had no idea how he had been able to move the table.

"Damn Black – how did he escape?" Cassius forced himself to be calm. He noticed Kingsley look at him closely before echoing his question.

"Don't know…Black is truly a student of You Know Who…slips through our grasp just like he does. This is an embarrassment to the Ministry." Fudge said angrily. "Meeting dismissed. Just find him!" Cassius watched as Fudge walked over to Kingsley, glancing nervously at Cassius.

After a moment, Fudge left and Kingsley walked over to Cassius. They were the only two people left in the room. "Says your temper is too dangerous, family connection with Black and all that – wants to you cool off for a couple days."

"That another way of saying I'm suspended?" Cassius asked smoothly.

"Cass…" Kingsley sighed, rubbing his hand on his head. "I would have done the same thing. But…yes…you're suspended for two days. Dumbledore will vouch for Remus, you'll see, he won't go to Azkaban. He wasn't helping Black, I know it."

Cassius nodded, not feeling as certain as Kingsley about either of those things.

* * *

"Cassius." Remus whispered as he lay on the ground in the Forbidden Forest. It had been his first transformation without Wolfsbane in years and he had torn himself up badly in his madness. There was a crack as Cassius Apparated a few feet away. Cassius quickly knelt by his side, gathering Remus' bloody naked body to him. "I…I didn't take the wolfsbane." Remus whispered, he was exhausted, cold and in terrible pain. 

"Shush…don't speak. I've got you now. I'll heal the worst, and then I'll get you to Hagrid, he can take you to Poppy." Cassius kissed him gently before reaching in his pocket for his wand. He did a few healing spells on the worst of Remus's injuries. Then he wrapped his coat around Remus. Remus couldn't help gasping in pain as Cassius picked him up. He had so many cuts and bruises, he didn't have anywhere on his body that didn't hurt. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know I should know more healing spells... It will be better soon."

"I love you." Remus murmured into Cassius' neck.

"I love you too, Remus."

* * *

The next afternoon, Remus returned home from Hogwarts after resigning. Cassius was glad to be home for his mate. He'd thrown his arms around Cassius and kissed him urgently before sitting down at the table to eat dinner. 

"He was so thin – like a skeleton. You should have seen him. I hardly recognized him. So thin." Remus remembered hugging Sirius in the Shrieking Shack. He'd been so happy to know Sirius was innocent – to know he hadn't been fooled. He'd thrown his arms around Sirius and hugged him tightly and he'd felt just how thin Sirius was, Remus had worried he'd break him. It was so different from how it had felt when they were together, when Sirius had wrapped his strong arms around Remus and held him tight.

"But he was innocent. That whole time! Innocent! It was Peter…he was the traitor. Not Sirius. Isn't it amazing! Sirius didn't betray James and Lily – he didn't!" Remus smiled ecstatically. "Now we just have to capture Peter and then Sirius will be cleared of all the charges. He'll be a free man! Isn't it wonderful!"

"There's no proof…Black is still a wanted wizard." Cassius said calmly in spite of feeling like he was choking. Remus hadn't loved Sirius anymore because of what he'd done…and now Sirius was innocent.

"But I saw Peter, he's alive! Sirius told me they switched secret keepers at the last moment…that's how Peter could betray James and Lily. _Peter _was the one working for Voldemort. Harry and his friends know it too!"

"Remus, the Wizengamot won't take the word of a werewolf, a convicted murderer and three children. There were witnesses that saw Black kill Pettigrew, not to mention the twelve muggles as well. No one believes Peter Pettigrew is alive. There's no proof."

"Just because I'm a werewolf doesn't mean I lie!" Remus's eyes glowed. He was still high-strung from the adrenalin of the transformation and the events of past day.

"I'm not saying that…I'm just saying-"

"He's innocent! You don't believe me, do you!" Remus's hands shook, clattering his fork against his plate. "I knew you hated him, but you don't believe _me_!?" The sting of Cassius not believing him was like salt in a wound, a wound caused by the revelation Sirius had believed Remus to be the spy.

"I _do_ believe you. If you say that's what happened, I believe you." Remus was too upset to notice the Malfoy voice.

"Then prove it!"

"How?" Cassius asked calmly.

"Don't find him."

"What?"

"If Sirius is caught, he'll get The Kiss, then he can't prove his innocence. He won't get another trial. You're assigned to find him. If you don't catch him, then he'll be safe." Remus' amber eyes had a gleam of desperation in them.

"I'm one of _seven_ aurors assigned to find him. Even if I agreed to this, there's nothing saying one of the other six won't catch him."

"But at least it won't be you. And he's outsmarted you all so far."

"That's because no one knew he was an animagus." Cassius said dryly.

"Oh…well…" Remus flushed.

Cassius was growing more certain by the moment that Remus wanted to reunite with Sirius now he knew Sirius was innocent. "You get mad at me when I keep secrets and then you do it yourself! Why didn't you tell me he was an animagus?"

"Because I knew you'd be mad at me." Remus hung his head. He hated for anyone, especially Cassius, to be mad or disappointed in him.

"And why did you 'know' that?" Cassius replied coolly.

"Because it was against the law…Sirius, James and Peter were unregistered animagi…and it was my fault they did it…it was dangerous…I made them do it."

"Hold a wand to their heads, did you?"

"No…but…"

"So, they were all unregistered animagi. And it was your fault – even though it wasn't – and _that's_ why you knew I'd be mad at you."

"Yes." Remus answered in a small voice. "And you are mad at me."

"Remus…I'm mad at you because _you_ _knew_ that Black could get into Hogwarts – to get to Harry Potter for all anyone knew, and you didn't tell anyone! What if he wasn't innocent? You didn't know he was! What if he had killed Harry? Or any of the children there? What would you have done then?"

"I…"

"Did you even _think _about it?"

"Yes! I did! I thought about all the time!! About all the ways I'd kill him to protect Harry! To stop him before he could kill Harry like he did James and Lily!" Remus' eyes filled up with tears. "That's why I had to go to Hogwarts! Because I didn't want you or Dumbledore to know that they'd become unregistered animagi because of me! I had to be there to stop him because I was the only one who knew what he looked like – how he could get in!"

"_That's_ why you wanted to go so badly." Cassius's tone left no doubt that he didn't believe Remus.

"Yes! _Yes_! I didn't want to reunite with him! I don't want to! I know that's what you think and it's not true! When will you believe I love you?" Remus was dimly aware that he was shouting and at some point he had stood up, knocking over his goblet of pumpkin juice. It had created a small puddle across the table. "I love _you_, Cassius!"

"You loved him, don't lie to me. You love him still!" Cassius stood up, Remus felt a wind whipping around the kitchen and looked into Cassius' black eyes.

"He was my best friend! Don't you love Stevens? Wouldn't you do anything for him?" Remus yelled.

"It's not the same! I never lived with Stevens, sleeping in the same bed with him for _three _years! Doing _things_ to him!" Cassius shouted. "You always said it was just fooling around but _three years_ isn't fooling around, Remus!

"I…" They had shared a bed, they had been involved. Remus couldn't deny that. But he hadn't felt the depth of love for Sirius that he felt for Cassius.

"I remember seeing you two at school. You were always kissing in the hallways between classes, rubbing against each other. So, don't tell me you don't love him!" Cassius growled. There were muffled crashes as the dishes in the cupboards shattered. "You don't have to stay with me anymore, you've got that potion now. You probably had that all planned, didn't you?" Cassius' voice was icy cold.

"What?" Remus stared at him.

"Getting Poppy to make a potion to help with the separation illness, so you could be with Black even though you're mated to me." The air in the kitchen crackled with energy.

"How dare you accuse me of planning to leave you!" Remus felt a fresh surge of anger. "I would never!" He shivered in the cold air of the kitchen as he looked past Cassius and saw the fire blazing in the fireplace. They were feeding on each other's emotions, through their link. He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. "I did love him…I do love him still…as a friend." Remus moved around the table to grab Cassius' hands in his. "Not like I love you. I don't want him. I want _you_."

"You don't!" Cassius yanked his hands away. "Now that you know he's innocent you want to be with him!"

"Don't tell me what I want!" Remus shouted angrily. "I know what I want. I want you!"

"Why! _Why_ do you want _me_?"

"Because…" Remus couldn't speak, he loved Cassius for so many reasons, it was hard to articulate them. "You're caring, loyal, honest and brave." Remus took a step closer to Cassius who was backing up, shaking his head. Remus reached out, grabbed his arms and held on with all his might. "Because you trust me…or you did, until now." Cassius was silent. Remus let him go and walked over to the window. He took a deep breath to gather his courage. "I did love Sirius, I thought I did…But after he went to Azkaban, I fell in love with you. I love you. I love you more than anything. I trust you. And…I thought we trusted each other." The crackle of the fire was the only sound in the room.

"I do trust you, Remus." Cassius said quietly. "I love you. It's just…you love Sirius."

"No. Not like you think. Cass." Remus hesitated, biting his lip. "Sirius thought _I_ was the spy for Voldemort." Now that he'd said it to Cassius, it felt real. In the Shrieking Shack he'd only felt numb when he'd realized Sirius had suspected him. Now, it was real and he felt hurt, more than hurt, wounded to his very core, that Sirius had thought he could have been a Death Eater.

"What?" The surprise was clear in Cassius's voice. "Was he insane _before _he went to Azkaban?"

"That's why he switched secret keepers…I knew Sirius was going to be James and Lily's secret keeper, so he changed to Peter without telling me, without telling anyone."

"Oh, Remus." Cassius's arms were around him, and all the tears Remus had held inside when he'd been shunned or insulted because he was a werewolf were suddenly released. He turned, burying his head in Cassius's neck, sobbing.

"He thought I was the spy." Remus choked out between sobs.

"Fucking bastard." Remus heard Cassius mutter. "Remus, don't cry, he's the only one who thought that. No one else did. No one who knew you would ever think that."

"They probably all thought I was because I'm a werewolf." He said thickly, feeling more tears slide down his face. There was a sharp crack as the glass face of the clock shattered.

"Remus, that doesn't make any difference! You were seven when it happened, for Merlin's sake! It wasn't your choice!" Cassius sat down on the bench and pulled Remus into his lap holding him tightly. "The bite of a werewolf doesn't change the fundamental character of the witch or wizard it infects."

"What's that from?" Remus asked, hiccupping, it sounded like Cassius was quoting something.

"A Werewolf Rights League pamphlet." Cassius answered, gently wiping the tears from Remus's cheek. "It's true, isn't it? You aren't a dark wizard and just because you were bitten by a werewolf that didn't turn you into one. You didn't allow being a werewolf to destroy your goodness, your humanity. And he's a complete git if he didn't realize that." Remus rested his head on Cassius's shoulder as he stroked his hand up and down Remus's back soothingly. "Everyone else knows you aren't a dark wizard. Moody wouldn't be friends with you if he thought you were. Dumbledore wouldn't have offered you the DADA job if he thought you were. And Tabby knows you're not a dark wizard and she was famous for being able to detect them."

Remus thought about that for a moment, but there was still one thought that bothered him.

Remus lifted his head up to look at Cassius. "Do you think James and Lily thought I was the spy?"

"Of course, they didn't. Didn't they let you baby-sit Harry all by yourself?"

"Yes."

"Well, then." Cassius kissed Remus's cheek tenderly. "They couldn't have. I think…I think actually Moody thought it was…I can't remember the name, Moody was gathering evidence and then the Potters were murdered after the Fidelius charm was put into place. So then everyone thought it had to be Black. _No one_ thought you were the spy, other than Black and he's a fucking idiot." Remus nuzzled against Cassius's neck, breathing in his mate's comforting scent. Cassius grasped Remus's chin and forced Remus to look at him. Cassius's green eyes gazed at Remus intently. "You wouldn't do something like that, Remus. I know you wouldn't. I never would have thought you were the spy."

Remus felt a warmth fill him at Cassius's words. He kissed Cassius and tightened his arms around his mate. "_That's_ why I love you, because you know me."

"Oh, Remus." Cassius whispered as his hot hands slipped under Remus' shirt pulling him even closer. "I love you, too. I'm sorry that I got mad, it's just…I can't compete with Sirius, not if you want him."

"There's no competition." Remus kissed Cassius's jaw. "You're the one that I want." Cassius's arms pulled Remus closer. "Can we go to bed now?"

"Remus, Merlin, if you're tired, you should have said." Cassius looked concerned. "Are you cold? Did you get enough to eat?"

"I'm not tired…well, I am a little, and I am cold because you made it freezing in here, and yes, I got enough to eat. But I don't want to sleep."

"You had a really rough transformation last night." Cassius stood up and started for the stairs with Remus still in his arms. "And then I just had to get you upset. Sweetheart, I'm sorry."

"Cass, please?" Remus's fingers sought out the bite mark. "I don't want to sleep."

"You need to sleep, you should have gone right to bed when you got home." Cassius shivered but set Remus down on the bed and moved away to open Remus's trunk.

"All right, who are you and what have you done with my husband?"

"What?" Cassius straightened up, holding Remus's pajamas in his hand.

"You don't need to show me what a wonderful mate you are, I know." Remus pulled his shirt off.

"Well, I just wanted to remind you how good you have it here." Cassius gave a rueful smile. "So you wouldn't think about leaving me anymore."

"I never thought about leaving you." Remus said simply. He pulled off his shoes and started unbuttoning his pants. "But you could still remind me how good I have it in bed."

"You're sure you're not too tired?" Cassius moved closer, pulling off his own clothes.

"I'll manage to stay awake." Remus smiled as he pulled Cassius down on top of him. Cassius treated him like he was made of spun glass, tenderly stroking over his skin with feather-light touches, joining them together gently. Remus clung to his shoulders as the waves of pleasure washed over him. Afterwards, Cassius rolled over and lay next to Remus.

"Snuggle." Remus demanded weakly, he couldn't find the strength to move closer to Cassius. "Please."

"You _were_ tired, I knew it." Cassius pulled Remus to him, entwining their limbs together.

"You were right." Remus sighed contentedly, breathing in his mate's scent.

"Tell me again why you love me." Cassius swirled his tongue around Remus's ear. "Please?"

"Because you're charming, and smart, and brave, and loving. Because you believe in me. Because when I touch you, the world is a better place. Because I'm the best person I can be when I'm with you." Remus slid his hand up Cassius' chest, pulling on the ring, "I gave you my ring." Remus slid his hand up to Cassius' neck, fingers seeking out the bite mark. "I marked you as mine. Nothing and no one is ever going to change that." Remus leaned up and captured Cassius' mouth in a soft kiss. They fell asleep, tangled in each other's arms.

* * *

"What's this?" Remus looked at Cassius curiously as he picked up the folded piece of paper Cassius had just placed in front of him. 

"Just something I wrote for you." Cassius swiped a piece of toast from Remus's plate. "I'm going outside, have to weed the garden."

"You don't want breakfast?" Remus called after him as Cassius quickly walked out of the kitchen. There was no answer. He unfolded the paper. Cassius's scrawling writing filled the page.

_Reasons why I love you_

_you are my best friend_

_you don't care about my scars_

_you make me feel safe_

_your heartbeat is my favorite song_

_because sometimes I forget to breath when you kiss me_

_you have freckles on your hip that look like Orion's Belt_

_you laugh at my jokes, even when they're not funny_

_sometimes you snort when you laugh_

_you don't care when I take food from your plate_

_your eyes have really small flecks of green right around the pupil_

_you're__ really great in bed, and on the desk, and on the floor, and in the shower and anywhere else I might have forgotten to mention_

_you believe in me_

_because you feel like home_

* * *

Author's Notes: I wrote and rewrote and polished and refined this chapter for MONTHS (Honestly, I think I started writing this in April). I think it's one of my favorites in this story. I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you think!!! 

To my mind, the ultimate hurt and betrayal to Remus is Sirius's thinking that Remus was the spy. Remus tried so hard to be accepted by his friends and then to have Sirius think he was capable of being the spy would have been shattering. In my story, Remus only thought Sirius was the spy after James and Lily were killed when it appeared that it HAD to have been Sirius because of the Fidelius Charm. Thoughts?

Thanks to the reviewers for Chapter 33: MoonyPadfootJr, Gil-Caleb (I'll email you in reply to all your reviews! LOVED them!), Mon2 (I will endeavor to include more Snape in the future chapters when possible), Padfoot, and Drastic Diner (the tattoo is rather made up, I found a wolf like design but it's not quite how I picture it, so it probably doesn't really exist, which is too bad!)

Also, the next chapter is ready to go - it's a little interlude about Owen because he demanded more screen-time. :-) So...shall we say...six review and then Chapter 35 will be posted! :-) (Rubs hands in anticipation of all the wonderful reviews!!)


	35. Owen

Author's Note: This is a little interlude from the Remus/Cassius/Sirius angst and drama. My muse spoke to me and said Owen wanted more screen time – so to speak. I wrote this in a few hours, then spent a few weeks polishing it. Just couldn't help myself – and I wanted to share. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 35 Owen**

Remus had been home from Hogwarts for a week when Cassius walked into the kitchen one Saturday morning where Remus was drinking a cup of tea and reading the Daily Prophet. They'd spent the week reaffirming their relationship, after the big argument about Sirius.

"Remus, what are you doing this afternoon?"

"The same thing I do every afternoon, Cass, try to take over the world."

"You watch too much muggle telly." Cassius smiled.

"You do too if you caught that reference." Remus smiled back.(1)

"All right, guilty." Cassius sat down next to Remus at the table.

"I'm not doing anything in particular. Why?"

"Would you want to…Could you…I don't know how to ask this."

"Is it kinky?" Remus asked with a smile.

"No! No…I…Owen left me his pensieve and…I've never wanted to look at it but…I think…now…I'd like to. But I don't want to use it alone. Stevens is coming over this afternoon and…I want you there too." Cassius' words had tumbled out in a rush and now he stood uncertainly looking at Remus.

"I would be honored." Remus said sincerely. "If you're sure."

"I want you there. Owen…I loved Owen, there will probably be some memories of us together…"

"I understand." Remus said quickly. "I know you loved Owen. I love you. If you want me there, I'll be there."

Cassius smiled and pulled Remus into his arms. "I love you. After Owen died," Cassius swallowed hard. "I didn't think I'd ever feel happy again…but I found you."

"Yes, you did. And I'm so glad. I am glad we're together." Remus said, hugging his mate tightly.

* * *

Owen's pensieve contained memories starting with the day that Owen and Cassius met when they were six. Remus felt like he was watching a muggle movie as the memories continued, showing Cassius and Owen growing up. Owen had been the extrovert, while Cassius was shy around people he didn't know. Cassius was very smart – and he had a very sharp memory, so different from the way his memory was now. There were a few memories of the 1st year at Hogwarts, getting sorted into Ravenclaw, and then... 

"Can you believe it?" Owen said slowly, his voice had a Welsh lilt. Owen and Stevens were sitting on one of the beds in a dorm room. "I wondered why he was so different. He didn't recognize me and we've been best friends since we were little. And his father…he…he did it."

"Sirius Black – he's such an arrogant fuck – walking around like he hasn't got a care in the world." Stevens sneered.

"Well, he doesn't…didn't get punished, did he." Owen spat out with equal venom. "And they don't know that Cassie will ever get better."

* * *

"Are you my friend?" Cassius looked the same age as the memories Remus had seen in Dumbledore's pensieve. 

"Course I am." Owen sat down next to him on the bed. "I'm Owen, we've been friends forever."

"I don't remember forever." Cassius said, sniffling.

"I remember it for you." Owen answered, smiling gently as he took Cassius's hand in his.

* * *

There were other short scenes, of Cassius not remembering his name. A couple scenes of Owen introducing himself again and again. A scene of Lucius visiting with Cassius, Owen and Stevens. Scenes of Owen being happy Cassius finally remembered him – that he remembered something they had done in grammar school. Then the adventures began – Quidditch games, pranks, and the fun the three of them had together.

* * *

Cassius was sitting on his bed, writing a letter. There were only two beds in the dorm room. 

"You writing Lucius?" Owen asked as he walked into the room.

"Yeah." Cassius' brows were knit together in concentration.

"Telling him how we slaughtered Hufflepuff?"

"Yeah." Cassius snapped, eyes flashing black.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't remember how to spell Quidditch." Cassius muttered.

"Q-U-I-D-D-I-T-C-H." Owen said slowly.

"What does a Q look like?" Cassius finally looked up at Owen, rubbing his forehead with frustration.

"Give over." Owen sat down and held his hand out for the quill and scroll. He looked down at it. It looked like it had been written by an eight year old instead of a fourteen year old. "What have you already told him?" Owen moved back to lean against the pillows.

"I haven't written anything about the match yet." Cassius moved next to Owen and rested his chin on Owen's shoulder. He grown a lot since the last memory and was now quite a bit taller than Owen, probably close to his adult height.

"Right then." Owen poised the quill over the scroll. "What do you want to say about it?" Cassius' hand crept over to rest on Owen's chest, over his heart. "I'm waiting."

"You write it, I'm tired." Cassius mumbled.

"Didn't take your potion last night, serves you right." Owen said lightly.

"_You_ don't have to take a potion to sleep." Cassius said sulkily.

"Would you take your potion if I had to take one?"

"I don't like being babied. I'm not weak. Malfoys are strong."

"That's right. And you are strong." Owen agreed soothingly as Cassius's eyes fluttered shut.

* * *

"He doesn't remember getting into bed with you?" Stevens asked, putting another spoonful of eggs on his plate. 

"No – doesn't seem to." Owen said, looking roughly a year older than the last memory. "We woke up and he apologized, said he must have sleepwalked, like he's ever sleepwalked before in his life - but of course he doesn't _remember_ that he doesn't sleepwalk."

"Huh."

"Stevens." Owen took a bite of pancakes and chewed it thoughtfully. Stevens watched him expectantly. Owen swallowed. "He kissed me."

"He kissed you?" Owen nodded, chewing another bite of pancakes. "But he doesn't remember it?"

"Doesn't seem to. I hinted around at it and he just looked at me like I was bonkers."

"Why didn't you just tell him?"

"It wouldn't make a difference. Even if you remind him of something that's happened – if he doesn't remember, it's not real to him."

"True." Stevens put some jam on a piece of toast. "Did he think it was you?"

"Judging by the way he was panting my name the whole time, I'd say so."

"He was – !" Stevens choked on his toast for a moment. "Just…how much did you do?" He asked reluctantly and watched as a flush crept over Owen's cheeks. "He didn't force you to do anything, did you?" Stevens suddenly looked angry.

"No! No." Owen answered quickly. "I…I liked it." His face got pinker.

"I thought…I didn't think…aren't you…" Stevens looked bewildered.

"Straight – I am – I think…I mean, I've always thought he was handsome…and…I've maybe thought about kissing him again since we kissed a couple years ago. Merlin, Stevens, you should kiss him now – it's…it's….something." Owen said, his eyes glazing over at the memory.

"So he…you and he…last night…and he doesn't remember."

"That's what I said." Owen took a drink of his pumpkin juice. "We _didn't_ have sex…but we did more than just kiss. He did this thing…with his fingers and his tongue." Owen sighed. "I'm telling you I saw stars."

"You saw stars."

"I don't mean it metaphorically, I mean I _actually_ saw stars."

"You _actually_ saw stars…what'd he do?" Stevens was curious in spite of himself.

Owen lifted his hands to demonstrate. "He – Hey Cassie, where've you been?"

"Nowhere." Cassius sat down across from Stevens and Owen.

"Regulus." Stevens said flatly, noticing Cassius' cousin standing behind him.

"See you around, Cousin." Regulus said, looking pointedly at Owen and Stevens

"Sure." Cassius answered, pouring himself some juice.

"You went to visit Regulus?" Owen asked with astonishment.

"No, I ran into him on the way here." Cassius rubbed his forehead before reaching for the platter of eggs.

"You - " Owen was cut off as Stevens elbowed him hard. "Sure you did. That was nice." Owen said, rubbing his side.

"What are we doing for your birthday today?" Cassius asked.

"I don't know…it's not a big deal." Stevens shrugged.

"Not a big deal – you're 18 now!!" Owen said excitedly.

"Well…"

"I managed to get some fire whiskey." Owen said looking devious. "In fact, I better go check something." He stood up. "I'll see you both in the library later."

* * *

As soon as he was out of the great hall, he saw Regulus and hurried over to him. 

"He was down by the Slytherin dorms. Lost." Regulus said curtly. "I thought you were supposed to watch out for him."

"I do. I just…he'd been doing really well lately, I thought I could let him find his way down by himself."

"Obviously not."

"Obviously."

"He seemed tired."

"He didn't sleep well last night." Owen's cheeks turned pink but Regulus didn't seem to notice.

"Cousin Lucius said at Christmas that most of his memory has been back for almost two years now." Regulus was now looking at Owen accusingly.

"It is!" Owen said. "Just, there are problems when he doesn't sleep well. I'll take care of it. Don't worry Lucius about it."

* * *

Owen and Cassius were sitting on one of the couches in the Ravenclaw Common Room. Cassius had the Head Boy badge on his robes. Cassius rubbed his forehead. 

"I'm knackered. I'm going to take a nap." Owen said cheerily as he started up towards their dorm room.

"I thought we were going to play chess." Cassius said, following him.

"Play chess with Hill."

"I always beat Hill, it's no fun."

"Well, then do something else with Hill – he's your boyfriend, I'm sure you can think of something." There was a slight edge to Owen's voice.

"He's not my boyfriend anymore." By this time, they were in their dorm and Owen flopped on to his bed. Cassius seemed to deliberate a moment then he laid down next to Owen, facing away from him.

"When'd you break up with him?"

"_He_ broke up with _me_, last night." Cassius started chewing on his fingers. "Because I'm a Malfoy, a dark wizard, a future Death Eater, not to mention a sexual deviant who fucked him and led him from the true path of straightness." Cassius's voice dripped with scorn. "Now's he's seen the light and doesn't want anything more to do with me."

"Stop that." Owen reached over and pulled on Cassius' arm. "He got a howler at breakfast yesterday, you missed it because you were in the Prefects meeting with Dumbledore. His parents were _really_ mad to hear he was dating you. I couldn't tell if they were madder because it was _you_ or because it was another bloke."

"It was both, from what he said. I thought they knew…we'd been together almost a year."

"I can't believe he stuck with you for that long." Owen said under his breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cassius asked angrily.

"Well…just…I wouldn't want to be your boyfriend. I mean…you aren't _friends_ with any of your boyfriends, are you?"

"I am too." Cassius protested, chewing his fingers again.

"Stop it!" Owen grabbed his hand. "You're making yourself bleed. Honestly, Cassie. You're not – you don't treat your boyfriends like friends, you just use them for sex."

The two young men were quiet for a moment. Cassius seemed to be debating about something.

"I'd be friends with you." He said softly.

"If I was your boyfriend?" Owen asked.

"Yeah."

Owen took a deep breath. "I don't want to be boyfriends or friends who have sex. All right?" Cassius nodded. "When you're ready to have it be about love…then we'll talk."

"What if I can't love anyone? Father – "

"Ugh, I don't want to hear another word about your rotten father. You shouldn't believe all that crap he told you when you were little. You are wonderful. You love people. You just need to love the person you have sex with. That's what's called a healthy relationship." Owen put the last two words in imaginary quotations.

"Well…I love you. And I want to have sex with you."

"Do you?" Owen's voice was strangely neutral.

"Yes…when…I used to imagine Hill was you sometimes."

"Did you?"

"Yes…he…he looks like you – except his eyes aren't as blue."

"And he's not as handsome as I am." Owen laughed.

"No – and he's bigger than you too."

"Excuse me?" Owen sat up and glared down at Cassius.

"I meant taller." Cassius flushed. Owen was short and slight, Remus was reminded again of a pixie. Owen looked mollified and lay back down. "So…"

"What?"

"Are we boyfriends now?"

"No. You have to woo me."

"What?"

"I don't just give out on the first date. You have to earn it." Owen laughed.

* * *

There was snow on the window of the dorm. Opened Christmas presents were strewn around the floor. 

"Ow!" Owen cried out. Sweat was trickling down his face, as he lay under Cassius.

"Sorry." Cassius said, with effort. "It'll get better, I promise."

"No…no…just…You're too big!" Owen groaned. "I should have known…I've seen you in the showers often enough…ow!" His small hands pushed ineffectually at Cassius' muscular shoulders. "I thought this was supposed to feel good." He grumbled.

"It will, Owen." Cassius gritted his teeth, "Stop doing that."

"What am I doing?" Owen asked breathlessly.

"You're. Moving."

"Don't people move when they have sex?"

"Yes…just…Not…oh…You need to get used to this before we…"

"Well, I'm sorry I don't know what I'm doing, not like all the others!" Owen said angrily. Cassius murmured a few words and shifted. "OH!" Owen shouted. "What was that?"

"A lubricant spell, I thought I had enough before." Cassius leaned down and kissed Owen on the nose. "And I think I hit-" Cassius moved again.

"Cass!" Owen threw his head back on the pillow as he yelled. "You – you did put a silencing charm on our room, didn't you?"

"I did. Not that it matters, we're the only ones here." Cassius laughed as he moved again.

"Oh! Merlin!" Owen's fingers dug into Cassius's shoulders, trying to pull him closer. Encouraged, Cassius started to move in a smooth rhythm. "Oh…wow!…oh…." Owen cried out blissfully with every move Cassius made. "This…is…brilliant…oh!… again. Do that again! Mmm…OH! I…you…Oh! Yes! I…love….Cassie, I love you." Owen gasped. Cassius's body jerked and he collapsed. Owen grunted under the weight. "Is…is that it?" He asked, smoothing his hand down Cassius's scarred back. "I feel sticky…inside." Owen said quietly. "And…I'm still hard."

"Just give me a moment." Cassius said breathlessly, his head buried in Owen's neck.

"You didn't last very long, did you?" Owen said conversationally, "Swann said you had stamina – that you two had sex for hours."

"I do, we did." Cassius rolled off Owen.

"But it hasn't even been ten minutes!"

"Well, you said you loved me…how was I supposed to know what would happen." Cassius said crossly.

"You…you came because I said I love you?" Owen asked incredulously as he sat up, his hair sticking up all over.

"No." Cassius' face started to turn pink.

"You did! You did!" Owen straddled Cassius' waist. "You are so cute when you blush."

"I am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too, infinity." Owen said, grinning down at Cassius.

"Did Swann happen to mention my recovery time?" Cassius asked, as his hands moved to Owen's hips.

"No, what about it?"

"It's short."

"What does that mean?" Owen tilted his head.

"It means…we can go again, now."

Owen lifted himself up from Cassius and looked down. "Oh…wow." Cassius moved Owen and thrust up into him. "Oh! Wow." Owen's eyes closed and he braced his hands on Cassius' chest. "Cassie – "

"Don't tell me you love me until we're done." Cassius said quickly.

* * *

There were a few more scenes of Owen and Cassius, at graduation, then living at Windy Corner. They'd obviously been deeply in love. It made Remus sad to think of the pain Cassius must have felt – and still felt – at losing Owen. He could understand why Cassius hadn't wanted to talk about it. Then the memories were over. 

Remus felt like he had lost a friend in Owen now too. Remus noticed tears in both their eyes as Stevens and Cassius walked out slowly of the library down to the kitchen. Tabby had made Cassius' favorite cake for them when they were done.

Remus lingered in the library, thinking about Owen. He liked him. Knowing that Owen had been killed – and so young – Remus couldn't find it in his heart to be jealous of the love that Owen and Cassius had shared. He was very thankful that Owen had been in Cassius' life. Owen had helped him through school, had loved him, had taught him to make relationships meaningful. Cassius was the way he was in large part due to Owen and Stevens.

Remus thought about the twists of fate – if James and Lily had never died, he and Sirius would probably still be together – maybe even mated. And if Owen hadn't died…he and Cassius would be together. Remus walked over to the picture of Owen, Stevens and Cassius that sat on Cassius' desk. He picked it up and looked at Owen. His blue eyes were laughing.

"I love him. I'll love him for you, too." Remus promised.

* * *

Notes: The last line is a twist from a line from "Firelight" a great romantic movie! Hope you enjoyed getting to know Owen more! Sniffle. Now I wish that I hadn't killed him off. But…it was in a good cause…the cause of Remus and Cassius, who deserve to be together. :-) sniffle. 

I will be posting the next chapter soon, which will include letters from Sirius. I will be doing some polishing to it and then the next chapter and then Sirius will be at Windy Corner. I'll be responding to Sirius related reviews in the next chapter. :-)

1) A reference to Pinky and The Brain – extra points for anyone who recognized it!


	36. Letters

Author's Notes: Responses to reviews at the end of the chapter! :-)

**Chapter 36 Letters**

* * *

_Moony, _

_We didn't really have a chance to talk before… I'm sorry I thought you were the spy. I realized as soon as James and Lily were dead that I had made a terrible mistake. I dreamed of you in Azkaban...even though I knew you thought I was the murderer. I love you. I missed you so much. Do you think we could ever go back to the way we were...the way we were before all the suspicions started?_

_Padfoot _

* * *

"That damn Umbridge woman. Drafting that _horrid_ legislation. Remus, I'm _so_ sorry." Clara had tried to get Remus a job in her department and failed.

"Clara, it's all right, you tried, I appreciate it. I'm used to it by now. Until Aspasia hired me, I had been shunned most of my adult life." Remus said softly. He gazed out the window. They were at their favorite tea shop in York. Since he'd returned from Hogwarts, Clara had insisted they start their own tradition of weekly outings since Stevens and Cassius always played chess weekly.

"Oh, it's just so fucking unfair!" Clara's tea cup rattled in the saucer as she slammed it down.

"It just means that I'm always free for social engagements." Remus tried to smile.

"You are a saint. I'd be hexing up a storm."

"I thought about it but Cassius would go mad if I got sent to Azkaban."

"True." Clara smiled. "And we don't want a mad Cassius."

"Clara," Remus fidgeted with his spoon, "Could I tell you something?"

"Why are you asking? You know you can."

"Sirius wrote me. He says he still loves me." Remus pulled the letter out of his pocket and handed it to Clara. She read it quickly.

"Wow..." Clara handed the letter back to Remus. "What did you write back?"

"I…I haven't owled him back yet. I wanted you to read the letter before I sent it."

"Of course. Let me see it." Clara held out her hand and Remus reached into his pocket again and handed her the letter he had agonized over. She read it and then reread it. "It's good…it's as good as a letter is going to be handling this sort of thing. Send it to him today." Remus let out the breath he'd been holding as he took the letters back. "Remus, can I ask you something?"

"You know you can."

"If you and Cass were just together, not mated…would you go back to Sirius now?"

"I thought about it…the day after we had the 'big fight'." Clara nodded, Remus had told her about it. "I told myself I didn't need to since I could never leave Cass. But that was a coward's way out." He poured himself another cup of tea. "Sirius and I…we weren't a perfect couple."

"No one is." Clara interrupted gently.

"No, I know…before we were dating, he tried to use me, the werewolf, to hurt Snape." Clara nodded. "I forgave him because he'd been the first real friend I'd ever had. Then…we started dating. He didn't want to mate with me, have sex with me. I told myself I wasn't ready to mate either. But he had sex with other people."

"He cheated on you?"

"I told him it was all right, that it didn't hurt my feelings…I thought he needed to do that, needed the release, that he couldn't get from me. But Cass never wanted to have sex with anyone else, once we were dating. He didn't care that I wasn't ready or that he wasn't ready. He wanted to be with me. And he found ways…" Remus blushed.

"Oh." Clara's cheeks flushed too. "Ok, no details, Stevens doesn't get home until tomorrow."

Remus gave a short laugh. "I…I wanted Sirius to like me, love me so much that I let him do anything he wanted, even if I didn't like it. Cass never made me feel like that. He made me feel like I could just be myself, I could speak my mind without worrying that he wouldn't like me. So I was just me. And he liked me, he loved me just the way I was, just the way I am."

* * *

_Padfoot,_

_I missed you too. But I'm sorry, I can't go back, not to our romantic relationship. I wish I could tell you this in person, but you deserve to know right away so there aren't future misunderstandings. I mated with someone, eight years ago. He's an auror and a wonderful man. I hope you can meet him someday soon, I think you'd like him, you have a lot in common._

_I do want our friendship back. It was so lonely being the only Marauder. I hope we can still be friends._

_Moony_

* * *

"Remus!" Cassius clomped up the stairs quickly and into their bedroom. "Moody's gotten hired at Hogwarts! He's going to be the DADA professor!"

"Really?" Remus felt a surge of jealousy and quickly squashed it. "He'll do a good job."

"Not as good as you." Cassius said loyally. Remus was touched since he knew how much Cassius admired and loved Moody.

"Thanks." He smiled. "Any other news?"

"No…it was a boring day…I made up a whole report about trying to find Black in the Alps." Cassius shrugged as he sat down on the bed. Remus was feeling ill since it was the day before the full moon.

"But you _did _go to the Alps." Remus said calmly.

"Yes, but obviously he's not there, so I had to make up realistic sightings of him." Remus had received his first letter from Sirius a week ago, he hadn't said where he was but the letter had been delivered by a large tropical bird. "I hate pretending he's smarter than I am." Cassius plucked at the quilt.

"I know. And he's not smarter." Remus said firmly. "Thank you for pretending." Cassius shrugged. "I could thank you properly if you moved closer."

"You're tired." Cassius said as he moved closer.

"I'm never too tired for you." Remus smiled.

"I love you." Cassius kissed Remus gently.

"Take off your clothes." Remus whispered, as he unbuttoned his pajama top.

"How are you going to thank me?" Cassius whispered back as he stood and stripped his clothing off.

"I'm going to let you have your way with me." Remus pulled his pajama pants off under the covers.

"Really? I get to do whatever I want?" Remus nodded. Cassius pulled the quilt down the bed, revealing Remus's body. "Oh…" Cassius' eyes glazed over as he surveyed Remus. "I…" His fingers trailed down Remus's naked chest as he moved to straddle Remus's hips.

* * *

_Moony,_

_It was too much to hope, but I had to ask. I am glad you found someone worthy of you. I know I wasn't that person, if I had been I never would have though you were the spy. And yes, of course, we are still friends. We're the last two Marauders, nothing could keep me from being your friend. We were friends first, weren't we?_

_Padfoot_

* * *

Cassius came into the kitchen from the mudroom as Remus was sitting at the table reading another (different from above) letter from Sirius.

"He writes a lot, doesn't he?"

"Well, I think it's lonely on the run so he likes to get owl post. He loved your cookies, Tabby." She nodded an acknowledgement as she made toasted cheese sandwiches for their lunch.

"You sent him cookies?"

"He needs to eat." Remus responded reasonably.

"If you only send cookies it's not very nutritious." Cassius pointed out, just as reasonably.

"I sent sandwiches too."

"Oh. Just..."

"What?" Remus asked gently.

"Don't send him any cinnamon rolls, those are mine."

"All right." Remus reached over and took Cassius's hand in his. "You don't mind me writing him, do you?"

"No." Cassius shrugged. Remus gazed at him for a long moment. "I'm a _little_ jealous."

"You needn't be, husband of mine."

"I'm working on it." Cassius smiled ruefully. "Come for a drive with me."

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know...how much time have you got?"

"I don't have a job, remember? And...what are you doing home?" Remus realized it was just before lunch time on a workday.

"I'm sick."

"You don't look sick."

"Worth put me on a committee with Umbridge and I can't stand her so I said I was sick and had to go home."

"Did he believe you?"

"Tessen did a spell on me so I looked sick when I told Worth. He took it off before I came home."

"Ah. Sneaky."

"Slytherin." Tessen and Cassius had been friends, of a sort, since Auror training. Both had had to battle prejudice, Tessen because of his house and Cassius because of his name. "You should have seen the prank he did on Kingsley last April Fools."

"What was it?"

"Can't remember now, but it was brilliant."

"Here." Tabby placed a basket on the table in front of Remus. "Have a nice drive." She transformed into her animagus form and trotted quickly from the kitchen.

"What's wrong with her?"

"She was at Hogwarts this morning for a brunch with Minerva and her sister. She's all talked out. Ready for that drive then?" Remus stood and picked up the basket. Cassius leaned down and kissed him.

"How about Cornwall?" Cassius suggested, grabbing the keys from the hook.

"Sounds lovely. Do we get to park and make out in the back seat?"

"Definitely."

* * *

_Moony,_

_Happy Birthday!__ I wish I could get you something. Unfortunately, the Ministry has frozen access to my vault. So all I have to give you is my love. And I give it all to you._

_Padfoot_

* * *

"Happy Birthday." Cassius's breath tickled Remus's ear.

"Mm…" He rolled over and buried his head in Cassius's neck.

"34 years old today."

Remus opened his eyes reluctantly. It was dark outside. "What time is it?"

"12:01."

"And why are you waking me up now?"

"Because it's your birthday." Remus raised his head to stare down at Cassius. "And because I couldn't sleep."

"So…does that mean I get my birthday sex now?"

"If you want it." Cassius tried to sound nonchalant, but Remus could feel that he was already hard.

"Mm." Remus kissed Cassius. "Fingers, then tongue…then…you."

"All right." Cassius rolled them over and moved down between Remus's legs.

"Wait. Tongue first."

"You can't change your mind again, you're sure?"

"Yes." Remus sighed as Cassius's tongue trailed over him.

* * *

A week or so later, Remus, Clara, Stevens and Cassius found their seats in the bleachers at the World Cup. Remus was so excited to see a World Cup Quidditch match and it was fun to be out with Cassius even if they were pretending they hardly knew each other.

"There're your relations." Stevens pointed, winking over at Remus.

"Will you stop that?" Cassius snapped as he followed where Stevens was pointing – to the veelas.

"Who wants butter beers? I'm going for some. No, Remus, I'm paying, you're _my_ guest." Clara stood up. "Stevens, come on. You have to help me carry them." Stevens stood and they stepped over Cassius, who was sitting on the aisle, to go down to the concessions.

"You having fun?" Cassius asked politely. Remus was very aware they were in public, surrounded by people who couldn't know about their relationship.

"Oh, yes." Remus smiled over at Cassius. "It was nice of Clara to invite me."

"Hey, Cassie." A black-haired wizard came bounding up a few steps, stopping next to Cassius.

"Tessen." Cassius greeted him coolly. Remus had heard Cassius talk about Tessen for years. It was nice to finally have a face to put to the name.

Tessen's eyes flicked over to Remus. "Is this –"

"No, this is Remus Lupin, he's Clara's friend." Cassius said smoothly. Remus cringed inwardly as he realized Tessen would know he was a werewolf and that he'd been suspected of helping Sirius, who was still a fugitive, infiltrate Hogwarts. "This is Liam Tessen, he's an auror too."

"Nice to meet you." Remus said politely. He waited nervously for Tessen's reaction.

"Nice to meet you, Lupin. I remember seeing you around when you worked at the Ministry." Tessen smiled warmly at him then turned back to Cassius. "So, where is your boyfriend?"

"He's at home, he hates Quidditch."

"You're lying, no man hates Quidditch." Tessen laughed. "Have you met this mysterious boyfriend of his?" Remus shook his head. "I don't know that I think he really exists, except I know Cassie can't go very long without having sex so he's got to have someone."

"Shut up, Tessen." Cassius scowled as Remus laughed.

"Liam!" A brown-haired witch waved from several rows down.

"There's Katrina. Better get back." Tessen thumped Cassius on the shoulder. "See you at work. Nice meeting you, Lupin."

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend." Remus said, trying to keep his voice casual. Remus was curious what Cassius would say about this imaginary boyfriend.

"Yeah."

"How long have you been together?"

"A while."

"Does he _really _hate Quidditch?"

"Yes. I don't know why I stay with him really. Who doesn't like Quidditch?"

"Why _do_ you stay with him, then?"

"He gives great head." Cassius answered smoothly. Remus felt his face go red. Just then Stevens and Clara got back with butter beers and assorted snacks.

"What'd you say to Remus?" Clara glared at Cassius.

"It was nothing, Clara, really." Remus took the butter beer she was handing him.

"You're sure? Because I could have Stevens beat him up if he was rude."

"Like he could." Cassius interjected.

"I would, I take the honor of my girlfriend's friend very seriously. Just say the word, Remus." Stevens looked as if he would really like Remus to say 'the word'.

"No, it wasn't rude, I just didn't expect him to say what he said. It's fine, really." Remus knew his face was still pink.

"Well, just ignore him, he says crude things to people when he wants them to stop talking to him. He's done it ever since school." Remus nodded, he knew Cassius did, he'd just never had it aimed at him. Apparently, Cassius was very in character.

Just then the introductions of the teams started.

"Here, Remus, you can borrow these if you like." Cassius reached across to hand Remus the omnioculars.

"Thanks." Remus stroked over the long fingers quickly as he took the omnioculars from Cassius's hand. He knew it was an apology for being snarky.

* * *

The game was great, the four of them had a very fun time. Once they had made their way back to their tent, Clara immediately turned to Cassius.

"What did you say to make Remus blush?" Clara asked.

"Tessen saw us while you were gone getting the drinks and asked where my boyfriend was and I said he was home because he hates Quidditch."

"So I asked why he was still with the boyfriend if he hated Quidditch."

"And I said he gives great head." Cassius tried to take Remus's hand but Remus moved it out of the way and crossed his arms. Stevens laughed.

"Why does Tessen even know you have a boyfriend? I thought you never admitted you had one. At least, that's what Aspasia said last year."

"I had to tell them when you came home for the Easter Holiday. It was the only way I could get extra time off. I said it was my boyfriend's 30th birthday and we were going to the Lake District."

"You've never taken _me _to the Lake District."

"Well, I didn't take him either. He doesn't _actually_ exist, Remus. I'll take you to the Lake District next weekend, how about that?"

Before Remus could answer, there were loud shouts and screams from outside the tent. Cassius rushed out and then rushed back inside.

"Fucking Death Eaters, they've got that muggle family…" Cassius grabbed his coat, pulling his wand out of one of the pockets.

"Wait." Remus grabbed his sleeve, quickly doing a sobering spell on him. "Please be careful."

"Stay here. I'll do a protection spell on the tent. Do _not_ go into the woods." Cassius raced out of the tent again.

"I'm going to." Stevens kissed Clara swiftly, whispering something in her ear before following Cassius out. Remus and Clara peeked out to see the Death Eaters go by. Remus noticed that Clara had her wand in her hand, he wondered what Stevens had whispered to her.

* * *

Author's notes: I'm still working on the second half of this chapter so it will be posted in a few days. I am very excited about the scenes once Sirius is physically at Windy Corner so the next chapter won't be perfectly lovely just so we can get to Sirius. :-)

Padfoot: I hope I answered your question about who Remus would have chosen. :-) At least it's how he would have chosen in MY universe. :-) And I'm glad you liked Owen and the sex scene. I liked them too. :-)

Mon2: Thank you for the compliment!! I actually am working on my own original stories. That was a big project that I was going to work on this summer but I became obsessed by my fan fiction. When I get some chapters done for my other stories, if you'd like to give feedback, I'd love it. Could I email you?

AffectedMangoO: Thanks for the compliment on Chapter 34! I am so glad you liked it!!

Noone, peegchica, meike, kungzone, Maurynna78: I'm so glad you liked Chapter 34. I will try to make some of the next chapters as good. :-)


	37. Signs

Author's Notes: I am _totally_ skimming over some stuff just so we can get to the next chapter. You'll see where I start skimming – my muse apparently wants Sirius to join the fun because she's not helping at all! I'm having _major_ writer's block, I've been working on this part/chapter for a couple weeks and it's just frustrating me so...I'm just posting as is. Um…next chapter will be up on Sunday. (Do I update too often? _Can_ an author update too often? Hmmmm)

**Chapter 37 Signs**

"They did the Dark Mark?" Remus felt his knees go weak, he sat down quickly. Clara looked pale.

"Yes. Someone did. All the other Death Eaters scattered when they saw it." Stevens brushed his hand through his hair as he sat down, he looked shaken. "Bloody fools, of course they're scared if Voldemort is back, since they've all denied involvement."

"Where's Cass?" Remus asked, seeing visions of Cassius bleeding or…

"With the other aurors, trying to find the ones responsible. He said to tell you he's all right. He'll come back here." Remus nodded. "It was just like when Owen was killed…that mark was still in the sky when…God, if I never saw that mark again it would be too soon." Stevens shuddered. Clara crossed to him and hugged him tightly, murmuring words of comfort.

Remus knew Stevens and Cassius had been the ones to identify Owen because Owen's parents, vocal opponents of Voldemort, had also died the same day, killed by Death Eaters in separate coordinated attacks. He swallowed hard, wishing Cassius was there with him. He wished Cassius had let him go with him but he knew Cassius would be distracted if he thought Remus wasn't safe.

"Does anyone want tea?" Clara asked quietly.

Remus and Stevens both shook their heads.

"Let's go to bed." Stevens took Clara's hand. "Come on, Remus."

Remus changed into his pajamas and then went into the room where Clara and Stevens were already in bed in their pajamas too. Clara patted the bed beside her and Remus climbed in. It felt better to be with Clara and Stevens. To know they were all together, even if Cassius wasn't there too. The campground was eerily quiet. Many people had already left.

"Exploding Snap, anyone?" Stevens asked.

"What about Truth or Dare?" Clara sat up straight in the bed.

"All right." Remus and Stevens chorused. The dares were very silly and the questions even sillier. Remus knew they were all trying to avoid thinking about the current situation and by the time Cassius got back, they were hysterical with laughter over Stevens's admission that his first crush had been Professor McGonagall. "That look when she gets mad - it always made me hard."

"Glad you weren't worried." Cassius drawled from the doorway. A moment later, he was tackled by three very relieved people.

* * *

_Padfoot,_

_I was going to regale you with stories about my trip to the Quidditch World Cup, which was a great match, but it was rather overshadowed by events that happened after the match was over. I've enclosed the clipping from the Prophet so you can see what they said…of course, my husband says the Prophet is a bunch of lies but at least it gives you some idea of what happened. _

_Seeing the Dark Mark in the air reminded me of those days before James and Lily died…when everything seemed so threatening. And then Harry was born. He was a light in those days, wasn't he? You said you are keeping in touch with him? I think that's wonderful that you are getting to be his Godfather again. He's a wonderful boy, as I'm sure you're finding out._

_Moony_

* * *

"Harry Potter is the _fourth_ contestant for the Triwizard Cup." Remus looked up from the Daily Prophet. "Surely that's a typo."

"No, apparently, someone put his name in and tricked the Goblet into picking four names." Tabby pursed her lips. "Powerful magic. It's a wonder Moody didn't suspect something."

"He's got his hands full teaching classes." Remus picked up his tea cup. "Hasn't written Cass in weeks."

* * *

"Remus, would you ever leave because you were mad at me?" Cassius walked into the sitting room and sat down next to Remus on the sofa. He'd just been over at Stevens's flat.

"What are you talking about?"

"Would you leave, to get away from me, because you were mad?"

"No." Remus smiled. "You'd follow me, so it wouldn't do any good."

"I wouldn't follow you."

"You would. You'd want to know where I was, if I was safe."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to know where you are and if you're safe."

"Oh, no."

"It's not like I need to know where you are every minute of the day." Remus looked over at Cassius and arched his eyebrow. "That makes me sound like a controlling, psychopathic boyfriend. I just…like knowing where you are."

"Every minute of every day."

"I don't need to know exact location, I just like the general idea." Cassius started to chew at the nails on his left hand.

"Riiiight. I know the only reason you got me that clock last Christmas was so you could keep tabs on me."

"You can keep tabs on me with the clock too, you know."

"I know – and I freely admit I like knowing where you are, every minute, of every day." Remus grinned, taking Cassius's hand in his.

"So…you wouldn't leave then."

"No. I mean, I might leave the room, but I wouldn't leave home."

"If you _did_ leave home 'cause you were mad, where would you go?"

"Cass, why on earth are you asking me this?" Remus was starting to get exasperated.

"Just, please, where would you go?"

"I'd go to…I'd to Clara's, I suppose."

"All right." Cassius looked down at their joined hands. "Clara went to her mother's."

"She didn't mention she was going to visit her mother. Is she sick?"

"No, she got mad at Stevens and told him she was going to her mother's and wasn't coming back until he realized what he'd done and apologized."

"Ah." Remus finally understood why he'd been subjected to all the questioning.

"You wouldn't do that, would you?"

"I've never met Clara's mother so I could hardly just show up at her doorstep." Remus said teasingly.

"Remus! I meant you wouldn't leave me like that."

"People in relationships fight in different ways and just because they fight doesn't mean they don't love each other. And no, I wouldn't leave Windy Corner, but I might lock myself in the library. All right?"

"All right." Cassius nodded. "Stevens wants to go out drinking. Could I go?"

"Yes, but you have the department meeting first thing tomorrow morning."

"I'll make it. Could I have some money?"

"I'll give you 10 galleons but that's it. Is Stevens coming over here?"

"Yeah." Almost on cue, there was a knock at the front door.

"Hello!" Stevens called

"We're in here!" Cassius answered. The door shut and Stevens appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, Cassie, you ready?" Stevens asked.

"Yeah, Remus just needs to give me money."

Remus got up and went into the kitchen. He kept the money in the sideboard. "Here. And when the pub closes you come back here, all right? Both of you. And you're using the Floo, do you hear me? _No_ Drunken Apparating, I mean it." Remus fixed them both with his best intimidating glare.

"Yes, Remus." Stevens and Cassius chorused obediently.

"Have fun."

Cassius leaned in for a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Stevens kissed Remus' cheek before Remus could push him away. "I love you too."

"I'll put in a good word with Clara. Now go."

* * *

"So I hear you visited your mother." Remus said as they settled into their favorite table at Betty's Tea House in York.

"Did you?"

"Cassius was almost traumatized by the fact that people could actually leave in the middle of an argument."

"He just made me so mad! Stevens, that is, not Cassius." Clara sighed. "I normally do work things out."

"I know. Must have been something to get you so upset. What'd he do?"

"Flirted with a witch at this pub. After a match. There are all sorts of groupies, I try to ignore them. But there he was, cool as can be, laughing with this tall, leggy, black haired witch and putting his hand on her arm."

"He could have just been being friendly."

"I told myself that too. But then he…he did this thing…it's how he picked me up, he…oh, I can't describe it. I'll show you." Clara reached for Remus's hand. Her thumb rubbed along his palm as she pulled it up towards her lips. She kissed his knuckles, gazing deep into his eyes. "My flat's just around the corner." Her voice was a seductive purr. She let go of Remus's hand. "Now, tell me _that's_ just being friendly, and I'll apologize to Stevens for getting mad."

"Wow." Remus rubbed his hand, it was still tingling. "I might not be straight but if your flat really _was _around the corner, we'd be there." He sighed. "No, that's not just being friendly. So what'd he say?"

"He didn't know what he'd done! I walked over to him right after I saw him do that thing – only I don't think he _quite_ got to the actual pick up line – and I was raving mad and he just looked at me and said 'baby, I missed you at the match, did you just get here?' and tried to kiss me. Which made me even madder! Because if I hadn't gone over to him, that floozy certainly wouldn't have said no, I can tell you that."

"Probably not, but he would have come to his senses, I'm sure of it." Remus stated. Clara took a bite of the chocolate cake they were sharing and didn't answer. "How long have you been dating?"

"A year and a half." Clara sighed. "A whole year and a half. Of course, he's been gone a lot of that time, with the Quidditch."

"He does love you. I know that."

"I know he does." Clara sighed. "I just wish…"

"What?"

"I wish I could put a big sign on his forehead 'property of Clara Endicott' and I wish he wouldn't flirt."

"You could tattoo it on there." Remus grinned.

"Hmm…you're right."

"He does feel _very_ badly about what he did. And Cass gave him a big lecture too. Told him he shouldn't drink if he can't handle his liquor, that you're the best girl he'll ever meet so he shouldn't screw it up."

"Did he really?" Clara smiled. "That makes me feel better."

"He is a huge flirt." Remus took a bite of cake. "And I think the…after the World Cup, it shook him up."

"I know. He's had a few nightmares since then." Clara sighed. "I'm not going to let him push me away just because he doesn't want to be hurt again, like when Owen died. And I sure as hell am not going to let him get away with flirting with every witch he sees."

* * *

Remus read with interest the article in the Daily Prophet about the first task in the Triwizard Tournament. Sirius had also written him a letter, having heard about it firsthand from Harry.

* * *

For their ninth anniversary, Cassius took Remus to the Lake District. Remus had forgotten about the conversation after the World Cup match, but apparently Cassius hadn't.

* * *

For Cassius's 31st birthday, Remus gave him another bottle of the cologne he'd made last Christmas. Cassius was thrilled as he'd used his other bottle up months ago, but kept forgetting to ask Remus for more.

* * *

"Remus! Cassius! Tabby!" Clara came running through the front door. "He asked me!" She held her hand out, a gold ring with a round diamond sparkled on her left hand.

"Congratulations!" Remus hugged Clara tightly. Tabby hugged Clara immediately after.

"We're going to tell my parents, we're having Christmas dinner with them." Clara's eyes were shining with happiness.

"Congratulations, Clara." Cassius lifted her into a hug and swung her around.

"I'm so happy for you both." Remus hugged Stevens. Cassius put Clara down and hugged Stevens too.

"We have to figure out the date but we're thinking maybe June?" Clara looked at Remus and Cassius. "And you're both coming."

"Tell Remus the date and we'll be there." Cassius said with a grin.

* * *

Remus was getting more frequent owls from Sirius who had traveled to caves outside of Hogsmeade to be closer to Harry. Remus was worried that Sirius would get caught, but since Cassius was telling the Ministry that Sirius was last seen near Gibraltar, Remus supposed he shouldn't be worried after all.

Sirius wrote Remus all about the second task in the Triwizard's Cup. Remus again felt proud of how Harry handled himself, he only wished James and Lily were there to see it.

* * *

Thank you to Padfoot, AffectedMangoO, peegchica, Mon2 and Drastic Diner! I love hearing your thoughts!

And…drumroll please…Sirius comes to Windy Corner NEXT chapter!!! Cue the fireworks! :-) I will get review greedy again next chapter so be prepared! :-)


	38. The Guest

Author's Notes: Thanks to noone, Mon2, and peegchica for the reviews of chapter 37. I apologize again for speeding through the events to get to Sirius but…I hope you will all be happy with the result! Read on for answers to your questions!

**Chapter 38 The Guest**

Remus had just finished fire talking with Dumbledore. He wanted Sirius and Remus to reform the Order of the Phoenix. He'd told Sirius to go to Windy Corner. Remus needed to owl Sirius with a portkey since Windy Corner was unplottable and had other various protection spells on it.

Remus ran upstairs to the library to ask Cassius to make the portkey. Due to his status as an auror, Cassius was allowed to make portkeys without having to go through the official paperwork first. And making a portkey so that only a blood relative could travel to his home wouldn't be a problem.

Remus walked up the stairs slowly, thinking how different things had been less than twelve hours ago, before Voldemort had returned. The night before, Cassius had been summoned to Hogwarts. He had found out that during the Third Task of the Tri-wizard Tournament, Voldemort had been returned to his full strength, using Harry Potter's blood in a ritual. According to Harry, who managed to escape murder once again, Voldemort was back at full strength and had summoned his Death Eaters, including Cassius's brother, reestablishing their allegiance. Fudge didn't believe Harry, since there had been so many articles in the Prophet questioning Harry's mental state all year. Almost more disturbing than Voldemort's return was the news that Barty Crouch Junior had imprisoned Moody since the beginning of the school year in order to manipulate the Tri-Wizard Tournament as Voldemort wanted.

Cassius returned home many hours later, on the edge of a panic attack, to tell Remus and Tabby the news. Remus had immediately felt sick to his stomach. Tabby had collapsed with the shock of the news and Remus had had to take her to Saint Mungo's. By the time he got her settled in hospital and himself back home, Cassius had chewed all his fingers bloody and was rocking back and forth in the corner of their bedroom. Remus cursed himself for not thinking to summon Stevens before he'd gone to Saint Mungo's but he'd been so worried about Tabby who looked like she'd had a heart attack and had been barely breathing.

It took two doses of the calming potion and a full hour of being held by Remus for Cassius's panic attack to subside. Remus had had the stomach ache ever since. He absently rubbed his stomach as he walked down the hall.

"Sirius is coming here, Dumbledore's sending him. He wants us to reform the Order." Remus stopped a few steps into the room. He noticed Cassius' back tense up from where he was bent over his desk.

"When's he coming?" Cassius looked over at Remus. He was researching protection spells. Moody was still in the infirmary at Hogwarts. When he was released, Cassius would stay with Moody to help him recover and make sure he was safe and that his flat was well protected against any further attacks. Cassius wanted to be with him, to make sure he recovered from the ordeal of the past nine months. Cassius couldn't believe he was fooled by Barty Crouch, Jr. He felt responsible for letting Moody down, letting Moody get hurt.

"He needs a portkey to bring him here. You could make it so only he can use it, can't you?"

"Yes. I'll do it now and you can owl him. If he gets here before Moody is released, I'll just go stay at Moody's anyway."

Remus felt his stomach lurch. "Cass-"

"I don't want him to know about us."

"I've already told him I mated with a wizard, who's an auror -"

"And that's all he needs to know right now. I don't trust him yet." Cassius leaned back from the desk and ran his hand through his hair. "Come here." Remus crossed quickly to Cassius and sat down in his mate's lap. "We'll be all right." He kissed Remus's temple as his arms encircled him. Remus nodded but the knot in his stomach didn't relax.

* * *

Two days later, around 7 am, there was a knock at the front door. 

"Remus – Sirius is here!" Tabby's voice called up the stairs. Remus had a flashback of the times when Sirius used to come over to visit when he lived at his parents' house. How different things were now…

"Just a minute!" Remus yelled down to Tabby as he sat up. They'd been snuggling in bed after Cassius had woken Remus up by making love to him.

"Owl me at Moody's when he leaves." Cassius's hand trailed down his bare arm, making Remus shiver.

"I will."

"How long do you think it will be?"

"I don't know – a week?"

"A week?" Cassius whined.

"We had sex barely twenty minutes ago, you can survive a week." Remus smiled, in spite of the fact that the knot in his stomach was tightening again. He didn't want to be separated from his mate, not when everything was so scary again. Being together made Remus feel safer...he smiled inwardly, realizing that he had grown just as dependent on Cassius as Cassius was on him.

"Hmm…" Cassius rolled over and got out of bed. "Damn Sirius."

"I know you don't like him..." Remus got up and walked to the closet.

"_He_ hated _me_… I wanted to like him…when I was young, I thought he was wicked cool…and I was envious of him, when we were at school…I had a huge crush on one of his friends." Cassius quickly pulled on his clothes and sat down to put his boots on.

"You liked James?" Remus teased, as he buttoned his jeans up.

"No, you." Cassius responded solemnly, standing up.

"When was that?" Remus was curious because Cassius rarely talked about being at Hogwarts with Remus. He knew it was because Cassius didn't remember much of that time clearly.

"End of my third year. I used to jack off thinking about you."

"And you say you're not romantic." Remus smiled, crossing to his mate and hugging him tightly.

"I still jack off thinking about you." Cassius smiled back. "When I'm away from you."

"Well, make sure you lock the door, you don't want Moody barging in." Remus began to laugh

"I can't do it at Moody's! He has that damn magical eye, he'll see through the door!"

"Poor husband. I'll send your trunk to Moody's today while you're at work." Remus smiled lovingly at Cassius. "I love you." Remus said fervently, pressing his lips against Cassius's. Cassius's tongue swept into Remus's mouth for an instance, Remus felt warmth suffuse his insides.

"I love you." Cassius Disapparated.

* * *

Remus ran down the stairs, he paused for a moment, and then pulled Sirius into a warm hug. "I know it's not the best circumstances, but I'm glad you're here." Sirius hugged him back tightly, holding him close before Remus pulled away. He seemed even thinner than he had in the Shrieking Shack. Remus hadn't thought that was possible, but it was. "I think you could use a shower." Remus wrinkled his nose. 

"Probably. I think the last proper one I had was before James and Lily died." Sirius said quietly. Remus had trouble finding his voice as he looked into Sirius's haunted grey eyes. He found himself reaching out and taking Sirius's hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly.

"Come on. After you clean up, we can have breakfast. And I have some clothes for you to wear. Why didn't you tell me you were still wearing these rags?" Remus turned towards the stairs, pulling Sirius after him.

"This place is nice." Sirius said, letting himself get dragged up the stairs. He was looking around in grudging admiration. "How long have you lived here?"

"Over nine years." Remus answered as they went into his and Cassius's bedroom.

"With your mate." Sirius' voice was flat.

"Uh huh." Remus went into his closet and found a pair of jeans and a shirt for Sirius to wear, he grabbed a pair of boxers too. They were the same height and now that Sirius was so thin, Sirius could easily fit into his clothes.

"And where is he?" Sirius asked sharply.

"He just went to work." Remus had decided he would tell Sirius as much of the truth about Cassius as possible.

"This house must be really safe, since he's an auror, right? That's why Dumbledore sent me here."

"Yes, it is. I'll give you the full tour later, if you want. This will be your room. I'll get you some pajamas too." Remus said as he led Sirius through the guest room to the bathroom that was connected to it. "This is your bathroom, so we don't have to share." He smiled.

"I..." Sirius looked overwhelmed as Remus pulled a big fluffy towel down from the cupboard and hung it on the towel bar. He looked at the counter, there was a toothbrush, toothpaste and a hairbrush along with various bottles of lotions and creams. "This is all for me?"

"Of course it is. You're my guest. Only the best for you. I'll have to go shopping tomorrow for some clothes for you."

"I don't have access to my vault anymore." Sirius scowled.

"It doesn't matter." Remus waved his hand dismissively. Since Sirius had been disinherited when his mother had died, she had left her fortune to Cassius, her favorite nephew, who had kept it in a separate vault, refusing to touch it. Remus would use that money to help Sirius, Cassius had gotten out a large amount the day before on Remus's request. "I'll leave you to it. Just come down to the kitchen when you're done. It's at the bottom of the stairs. And...just burn those." He gestured to the clothes that Sirius was wearing.

"You don't think I'll want to keep them as a souvenir?" Sirius asked sarcastically. Remus laughed and shut the door behind him.

An hour later, Sirius came into the kitchen smelling like lavender. His hair was combed back from his forehead and it flowed down his back to his waist. It accentuated his thin face.

"Sirius, this is Tabby – Bettina Sprout, she lives here too. Tabby, this is Sirius Black."

"Nice to meet you. You're the one who baked all the cookies, they were delicious." Sirius held out his hand. Tabby shook it firmly, although she still looked a little pale, she'd been released from hospital the day before. Remus had offered to do all the cooking until she was fully recovered but she'd refused, saying that it gave her something to focus on.

"You look like you could use a good meal – you're thinner than Remus!" She said, smiling warmly.

"I hadn't thought that was possible." Sirius said, his mouth quirking into a grin.

Tabby took a tall plate of pancakes and eggs over to Sirius and set it down on the table in front of him.

"Would you marry me, Tabby?" Sirius said, once he had gotten a bite of her delicious pancakes.

"No." Tabby's cheeks turned pink.

"Everyone always says no." Sirius growled then started to wolf down the food. Remus didn't know what to say so he just picked up his fork and started eating. After a second helping of food, Sirius put his fork down. "Why doesn't your mate want to meet me?"

"Plausible deniability." Remus answered. In reality Cassius didn't want to meet Sirius and didn't want Sirius to know who exactly Remus was mated to…but Remus couldn't bring himself to say that.

"He sounds as paranoid as Moody."

"You have no idea." Remus smiled, glancing over at Tabby who also smiled as she sipped her tea.

"So, really, how many people know about your relationship? You said it's secret, right?"

"Yes, it's secret. We're not _legally_ married, just mated." Sirius nodded. "There's the two of us, you, Tabby, Moody, Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey at school, his best friend, and my friend Clara. So," Remus looked down at his hands where he'd been putting up fingers as he named off the names, "Nine."

"That's amazing." Sirius took a sip of tea. "Is it because he's ashamed you're a werewolf? Because I was never ashamed of you."

"No! No, it's not that…it's complicated." Remus stammered. Sirius yawned and Remus seized upon it as a way to escape the conversation. "You must be tired. Why don't you go to bed."

"All right." Sirius stood up. "It'll be nice to sleep in a bed again."

* * *

Sirius slept until lunch when the smell of food woke him up and drew him back to the kitchen. After they ate, Remus cut Sirius's hair so that it was just shoulder length, the way Sirius had used to wear it, before Azkaban. Then he gave Sirius a tour of Windy Corner. Tabby followed them in her animagus form. Cassius had spent the previous day removing anything that was evidence that he lived there, all the pictures were gone and a spell had been done on the Malfoy portrait in the attic so it was invisible. As they walked around the yard, Remus picked Tabby the cat up and held her close, feeling the reassuring purr against his chest.

* * *

That night, Remus was awoken by hoarse shouting. Half-awake, he reached over to the other side of the bed searching for Cassius, to pull him close, to comfort him. When his hand landed on the empty bed, he remembered that Cassius was at Moody's and that the yelling could only be coming from Sirius.

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. When he'd had nightmares at school, Sirius and James had both comforted him at different times. It was time to return the favor. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed, shivering when his feet hit the cool floor. He stumbled towards the door and across the hall.

"Sirius" Remus crossed to the bed and sat down next to Sirius. "Wake up. You're dreaming." He shook Sirius's shoulder.

"Moony." Sirius's voice was husky as he struggled to get free of his nightmare. "Sorry. Dementors." He rubbed a hand over his face.

"It's all right." Remus patted Sirius's arm. "I've got some Dreamless Sleep Potion. Helps when I have nightmares."

"That's be good." Sirius sat up as Remus accio'd the bottle. "Could you stay with me?"

"I…I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why? We won't do anything, you can't anyway." Remus blushed as he realized Sirius must know about the traits of the werewolf mating. He wondered when Sirius had researched it, before or after going to Azkaban.

"I…here, drink this." Remus held out a glass of the potion and Sirius gulped it down. He took the glass back and stood up. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Moony, it's just so unfair. You should be mine." Sirius said thickly before he turned on his side, his back to Remus. Remus stood there for a moment, unable to think of anything to say for the second time that day, before returning to his empty bed.

* * *

Sirius had been at Windy Corner a few days when Remus received his first owl from Cassius. 

_Wife,_

_Could you send over that book that's on one of the shelves by my desk? It's got location spells in it. Please?_

_I love you,_

_Husband.___

Remus set the scroll down, shaking his head at the vague request. He hoped there was only one book that fit that description.

"Who's that from?" Sirius asked after swallowing some soup.

"My husband."

Sirius looked at the scroll. "He's got atrocious writing."

"I know." Remus laughed, it had taken almost a year for him to be able to read it with ease.

"Is that first word supposed to be your name?" Sirius picked up the scroll and looked at it closely, trying to decipher it.

"No…it's 'wife.' You can see the W there." Remus pointed, it was the only _semi_-recognizable letter in the word. Sirius didn't look convinced but nodded anyway.

"He calls you wife? Isn't that a bit…weird?"

"Well…I mean…we are mated…married…we exchanged rings." Remus tried not to blush. Whenever Cassius called him 'wife' Remus remembered the first moment Cassius's sharp teeth had sunk into his flesh causing the second jolt of the mating bond to shock through his system. He remembered the impromptu wedding ceremony, naked, on their bed…and he remembered what Cassius had been doing when he tricked Remus into agreeing to the nickname…

"Earth to Remus." Sirius was waving his hand in front of his face.

"What?"

"You looked just like James did whenever he would think about Lily."

"_Please_ don't tell me I looked _that_ idiotic." Remus laughed.

"Yeah, you did." Sirius laughed too, it sounded rusty from disuse but Remus was happy to hear it.

* * *

Next Chapter will be posted on the 19th! 


	39. Getting Reacquainted

I thought I wouldn't be able to post since FanFictionNet was doing upgrades but…seems that I can so…here it is! Author's Notes at the end!

**Chapter 39 Getting Reacquainted **

"If you could escape from Azkaban…why didn't you escape right away?" Remus asked after Sirius had been at Windy Corner a few days.

"I figured I deserved to be in there." Sirius stared down at his hands. "I made Peter the secret keeper so I killed James and Lily. I thought you were the spy when I should have known better. I was always the fuck-up, I thought it was time that I learn my lesson. Until I realized Peter could kill Harry…and I couldn't let him do that, I couldn't let James and Lily down again. So I escaped."

"I'm glad you did." Remus hugged him tightly. Sirius closed his eyes, pretending for the moment that Remus was still his boyfriend. He could feel himself getting hard and knew Remus had noticed when he gently pulled away.

"Sorry." Sirius muttered. "Can't help myself."

"It's…it's all right." Remus's cheeks were pink.

"It's not all right! I buggered up everything!" Sirius shouted. "I lost you! I killed James and Lily! I wasn't able to protect Harry!! I wish I was dead too!" He ran up the stairs and slammed the door of his room shut.

Remus walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. There was a muffled 'go away' in response. Remus ignored it and walked inside. He sat down next to Sirius who had flung himself face down on the bed.

"You didn't kill James and Lily, Voldemort did. And…no one was able to protect Harry from Voldemort this time, it wasn't just you. Harry needs you now, he loves you."

"What about you?" Sirius mumbled.

"I love you too." Remus said softly. "I'm sorry that we can't be together now, the way that you want, but I still love you."

"I love you so much, Remus. I can't change my feelings for you."

Remus ran his hand through his hair. "I can't change my feelings either. What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. I'm glad you're happy, really I am. I'm just so jealous it's some other git that makes you happy and not me. I'll get over it…I suppose." Sirius sighed heavily. "If I'd only mated with you before Azkaban…"

"We would have died after being separated. And believe me, the separation illness isn't fun. I learned that when I was teaching at Hogwarts and my mate was here." Remus spoke lightly although his heart was clenching painfully after hearing Sirius wish they had been mated…Remus knew now he'd never felt the mating pull to Sirius, he'd only felt it for Cassius but it was better not to mention that, to spare Sirius's feelings. He was lost in thought when he noticed that Sirius was talking. He had to ask Sirius to repeat himself.

"I said it seemed pretty nasty when I read about it."

"When did you ever read about the werewolf bonding? I didn't know about the separation illness myself until over a year ago."

"Honestly, Remus…you should have known all that stuff years ago." Sirius rolled over and sat up, shaking his head. It reminded Remus of Cassius, who had said the same thing on many occasions. "When we were together before, I researched it. It scared me…I wasn't ready to be tied to you like that. Except then when I went to Azkaban…I realized I had never really imagined my life without you."

Remus thought about that for a moment. This was the most open conversation they'd ever had about their relationship and he decided to say what he'd wanted to say for years, but hadn't had the courage to before.

"Didn't always seem like that to me." Remus said quietly.

"What are you talking about?"

"You slept with other men."

"You told me it was ok!"

"I didn't mean it!"

"Oh. I…I'm sorry."

"It's all right…I don't know why I'm still mad about it..." Remus grinned wryly. "It's all in the past now."

"So…this mate of yours…I guess he didn't sleep around on you?"

"No."

"How long did you date before mating?"

"Two years. Then he asked me to marry him."

"So you love him a lot."

"Yes, I do."

"I'm happy for you, Moony. You deserve to be happy."

"So do you.

"I'll get there eventually. It helps being with you again and having Harry."

"I'm glad." Remus smiled.

* * *

Remus and Sirius were sitting on the sofa in the sitting room watching "The Princess Bride" when Remus heard someone Apparate into the kitchen. He stood, putting Tabby the cat back on the couch – she'd been sleeping on his lap - and walked towards the door, he knew it could only be a few different people due to the wards on the house.

"I'll be right back, stay here." Remus said. Sirius nodded, his eyes glued on the telly, enthralled by the movie. As Remus walked into the hallway, he picked up Cassius's scent and broke into a run. He thudded into Cassius's chest right inside the threshold.

"You're home." Remus mumbled as he kissed Cassius all over his face.

"I just came back for my winter coat…I have to go to New Zealand."

"I miss you so much."

"I miss you too. How much longer?"

"Just another week or so."

"It's already been a week." Cassius's voice was very close to a whine.

"I know. We've made contact with all the old members, now we're just recruiting some new ones. The first meeting is the day after the full moon. Moody says we can use his cabin on Skye. How long will you be in New Zealand?

"A few days or so."

"It's the full moon in four days."

"Is it?"

"Could you come home for it?" Cassius looked down at him thoughtfully. "Please?"

"Call my name an hour before moonrise, all right?"

* * *

"He bought you the car for an anniversary present?" Sirius sounded impressed as he smoothed a hand over the hood of the car. "He must love you very much. Or you're a really good lay."

"Both, actually." Remus said, choosing to keep with the joking tone of the afternoon. "He used to have a flying motorcycle like you did."

"You never wanted to ride on mine." Sirius looked at him sharply.

"I never wanted to ride on his either. He got tired of trying to convince me."

"Can we take it for a drive?" Sirius sounded like a teenager again as he gazed back at the car

"Um…yeah, but we can't leave Windy Corner."

"All right, _prefect_. But we could just drive around the grounds."

"We could do that."

"And then we're going swimming."

"You sure you have enough strength for all these grand plans, Padfoot?"

"Being on the run for a year has gotten me into shape, Moony." Sirius said sarcastically.

"You really are thinner than me." Remus reached out and smoothed his hand down Sirius' back. He could feel each one of Sirius' ribs.

"Thanks to you, I get three square meals a day now."

"I know." Sirius had actually filled out a bit since he had arrived at Windy Corner over a week ago. He'd slept a lot and ate a lot. After the first night, he'd been taking a dreamless sleep potion to allow him to rest. Remus supposed he was catching up on years and years of lost sleep and sustenance.

"I know I can't stay here. Your mate's an auror, it's too much of a risk for him if I stay here much longer. I've owled Dumbledore, I told him we can use my parents' house as headquarters for the Order. Mother's dead so the house is mine. I'll go live there."

"An actual headquarters would be great for the Order. I know Dumbledore wanted one." Although Remus hadn't thought about Sirius living elsewhere, he also hadn't been able to picture Sirius living at Windy Corner with Cassius and Remus.

Sirius got behind the wheel of the car and was looking fixedly at the dashboard. "Remus."

"Sirius." Remus climbed into the passenger seat.

"Would you stay with me? At Grimmauld Place? Just for a while…just till I get used to it? You'll have your own room and everything."

"Of course. Anything for a Marauder." Remus smiled, feeling an intense need to see Sirius smile. "You know…the car does have an invisibility charm…"

"Really?" Sirius grinned back.

"Oh yeah." Remus felt like the years since school had melted away.

* * *

Remus stood in their bedroom, pacing nervously. He checked again that the door was locked and then looked at his watch again. Finally, an hour before moonrise.

"Cassius." He said quietly. A moment later there was a loud crack as Cassius Apparated a few feet away. Remus threw his arms around his mate, breathing in his scent. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too. Dumbledore owled me."

"Oh?"

"He told me Sirius wants to use the Black house for HQ. Grimmauld Place is locked to any one who isn't a Black or a Malfoy. So, I need to go there to change the wards."

"Sirius can't do it?"

"He was disinherited, he's no longer acknowledged as a Black."

"But it's still his house?"

"No…technically it belongs to me, I was Aunt Black's sole heir. But I don't care that he lives there, he doesn't need to know it's not his. All right?" Remus nodded, wondering if Sirius remembered he'd been disinherited so that the house might not belong to him…the years in Azkaban had affected his memories in some ways, Remus had noticed.

"I'm going to go on Saturday. Could you meet me there? After I do the spells?"

"Of course. Are you sure I shouldn't be with you the whole time? You haven't been back there since-"

"I'll be fine. You can't be there until all the spells are done anyway."

"Cass-" Remus opened his mouth to tell Cassius that Sirius had invited him to stay at Grimmauld Place when Cassius interrupted.

"Enough talk, I have 57 minutes left with you tonight and I intend to be inside you for all of them." Cassius started stripping off his clothes. Remus pulled off his own clothes with shaking hands and laid down on the bed. A quick lubricating charm and Cassius was in him. Remus gasped at the suddenness.

"Sorry." Cassius murmured, kissing Remus gently. "I've missed you." Remus shook his head, unable to speak as the pleasure washed over him. "I love you."

"Please." Remus choked out. He didn't have to say any more as Cassius took over and gave Remus what they both wanted.

* * *

Remus gulped down the potion, a minute left before moonrise, as Cassius pulled his clothes back on.

"Now, you're not to go into the forest, you can go outside as long as Tabby can see you both."

"All right." Remus nodded.

"I mean it. I heard about the car ride, which I shouldn't even have to tell you was an irresponsible thing to do." Cassius glared down at him. "You're _not_ going in the forest."

Remus nodded meekly. "Are you going to take house points?" He asked softly.

"I just might. Tabby has my permission to stun you both if you disobey the rules." Cassius smiled slightly, crawling back on the bed to take Remus in his arms. "I love you, sweetheart." Cassius gave him another kiss. "I'll see you Saturday."

"I love you." Remus kissed him, feeling his bones start to shift.

"You want me to stay? Or I can open the door now." Cassius stood back up.

"Stay." Remus collapsed back onto the bed, starting the transformation. It was over in less than a minute. The three orgasms he'd had in the last hour eased the transformation immensely, he hardly felt any pain.

"I'm opening the door and then I'm leaving." Remus licked Cassius's hand in answer. "You're feeling ok?"

A howling yip answered him. Cassius moved to the door, standing behind it to remain out of sight from the hallway. He opened it and then Disapparated.

* * *

Remus trotted through the opened door to see Padfoot standing there. He howled and raced down the stairs and out the back door. Tabby sat on the porch in a rocking chair, her wand was in hand.

"Stay on this side of the garage, so I can see you. You won't get to be in the swimming hole, but the creek is good enough."

A bark and a short howl answered her as the wolf and the big black dog raced over to the creek, plunging into the cold water. They raced across the creek several times, stopping to wrestle in the middle, then raced back across the yard, rolling in the grass and tumbling around. Remus felt like if he looked hard enough he could see a stag and a rat joining in the fun, it was like they were young again, without a care in the world.

* * *

A few days later, at breakfast…

"I have an errand to run this afternoon – Order business." Remus answered, he hoped his cheeks weren't turning red.

"Mm." Sirius looked sullen. Dumbledore had forbidden him from doing anything for the Order and Sirius was starting to resent his forced inactivity when he knew Voldemort was out there somewhere. They were planning to move to Grimmauld Place the next day and Sirius was starting to shut down emotionally at the prospect of going back to his childhood home. Remus was reminded strongly of Cassius, he and Sirius were very similar in many ways.

* * *

Remus opened the door to 12 Grimmauld Place cautiously. Cassius was standing in the hallway, opposite a pair of curtains. Remus turned and shut the door, he heard steps behind him and he was quickly turned and engulfed in Cassius' arms.

"You're finally here." Cassius said ardently. Remus clutched his mate's shoulders as Cassius kissed his neck.

Remus tipped his head to give Cassius more access and shivered as Cassius pulled his shirt collar aside to kiss the bite mark. He moaned as Cassius licked over the bite mark. "The spells are done, Sirius can move in today and we can go home." Cassius started to lean in for another kiss.

"Well…I wanted to talk to you about that." Remus said, looking over at the grimy wall, he was anticipating a row over what he was going to say next.

"What?" Cassius set Remus back on the floor and looked at him warily.

"Sirius asked me to stay here with him." Remus said calmly, bracing himself for Cassius' reaction, hoping that it wouldn't be an angry one.

"What?"

"Only for a little while – he's lonely, he has nightmares, he isn't the same…" Remus said, stroking Cassius' arms.

"I have nightmares too!"

"You told me you weren't having nightmares."

"Well, I am." Cassius said coolly.

"You lied to me?" Remus looked up at Cassius.

"Oh…well…no, I haven't had any nightmares recently. But I miss you, I miss being home with you." Cassius drew Remus closer to him.

"I miss being home with you too. …I just…I need to be here for him. He needs my help. He doesn't have anyone else." Remus watched Cassius's jaw clench. "Please let me stay with him, just for a few weeks."

"Oh, Remus." Cassius took a deep breath. "Three weeks, then you're coming home."

"Thank you, husband." Remus hugged Cassius tightly. "I love you." Remus' voice was a soft murmur against his skin. "It'll just be a three weeks, then I'll come home to you."

Cassius threaded his hands through Remus's hair and crushed his mouth down on top of Remus' lips. Remus felt his knees go weak, he clung to Cassius, pulling himself closer to his mate's heat. Cassius pulled away suddenly from Remus leaving him breathless. "Come to Moody's with me – he's at Hogwarts visiting Dumbledore."

Remus nodded, he was too aroused to speak. Cassius hugged him tightly and they Apparated in Cassius's room at Moody's. Cassius ordered Remus to undress while he quickly stripped off his own clothes. As Cassius reached for him, Remus noticed for the first time since seeing his mate that the fingers on Cassius's left hand were torn and bloody.

"How long were you at Grimmauld Place before I got there?"

"A couple hours…I didn't know how long the spells would take and no one else could be there while I was doing them."

"How long did they take?" Remus retrieved his wand from his robes and waved it over Cassius's hand.

"Hour and twenty minutes." Cassius shrugged as his hand was healed and the blood disappeared.

"I'm sorry…are you all right now?"

"I will be." Cassius's mouth attached to the bite mark on Remus' neck as they tumbled to the bed. Remus squirmed under his mate's body, the pleasure sizzling down his back. Remus had missed Cassius greatly the past two weeks. The first time was over quickly as their pent-up needs didn't take much time to release. They had sex another time before Remus looked over at the clock.

"I better go." He said gently, tracing his hand over the tattoo on Cassius' collarbone. The action soothed him, as it always did. Cassius didn't respond, his eyes were closed, but Remus sensed that he wasn't asleep. "I love you." He pressed a kiss to the magical writing marked on Cassius' skin.

"I love you." Cassius answered softly. "I'm leaving tomorrow for Germany, I'll be gone a few days. I'll owl when I get back."

"Be careful."

"I will be."

* * *

On Remus's 35th birthday, Cassius Apparated over to Windy Corner just before dawn to give Remus his birthday gift and sex. The gift was a protective amulet. Remus held it tight in his fist as Cassius rocked into him. Love crashed over Remus as Cassius kissed him, rocking harder and faster. Remus felt his world narrow down to just the two of them, together, nothing else mattered. The coiling of heat began. He knew he was begging Cassius for more, but he couldn't understand his own words. It seemed like everything was happening in slow motion as he dug his fingers into Cassius's back, nipping at his neck and shoulders. And then…Remus cried out as his orgasm hit.

* * *

Less than a week after Harry came to live at Grimmauld Place, Remus met Clara for lunch at her flat. He'd been staying at Grimmauld Place off and on for the past month because Cassius was often gone on assignments.

"Clara, I don't know what to do! I want Cass to meet Sirius. I want to tell Sirius that Cass is my mate but Cass won't let me. He doesn't trust Sirius."

"It's understandable, if irrational." Clara and Remus both knew Cassius's distrust of Sirius went back to their childhood and had peaked with the prank that Sirius had blamed on Cassius.

"Sirius can't hurt him again and Sirius can't hurt me, he wouldn't."

"You know Cassie – he'll avoid something that's hard for him emotionally and it will eat at him." Clara looked at him earnestly. "You can't be scared of him getting angry at you if you go against his wishes. You know what needs to be done. You need to do it."

"I should tell Sirius and have them meet."

"Yes." Clara nodded for emphasis.

"How?"

Clara thought for a moment, stirring her tea. "Have them meet first…dinner at Grimmauld Place, it'll be good for Cassie to have to go there again as well…then tell Sirius afterwards, away from Cassie."

"Clara, what would I do without you?" Not for the first time, Remus was glad to have Clara as his best friend. They had a very similar outlook and could talk about anything. He knew she loved him unconditionally.

"You wouldn't be eating my delicious crème brulee, that's for sure." Clara smiled.

"You think I can convince him?"

"Of course you can. You have that man wrapped around your little finger. Like he's ever said no to you before."

"Yes, he has."

"Oh? Really? If you can actually tell me _one_ instance when he's refused you something I will….I will run down Diagon Alley naked."

"He told me I couldn't…" Remus trailed off. Cassius had let Sirius come to their home although he didn't like or trust his cousin. He had let Remus go to Hogwarts in spite of his worries for Remus's safety. Remus searched through his memory. "All right, I can't think of anything."

"See? So…there you go. You know it's the right thing to do. Cassius can't hide from Sirius forever."

"You are right." Remus took a deep breath. "I'll do it."

* * *

Author's Notes: The next chapter will be up after I get…um…six reviews! :-) You know you want to!

Kungzone: thanks for your review of my other story, since I'm not updating that one, I'm responding here, so I hope you read this story too. While there won't be anymore of that Draco/Harry story, I _do_ have plans for Harry. (Rubs hands together gleefully).

Drastic Diner, you need to put your email address in your reviews! You brought up great points! I think all your wonderings will be answered in this chapter and the next few. thanks for your reviews of ch 35 and 36. Owen's parents did like Cassius but as you have read in Ch. 37, they died when Owen did.

Mon-2, I'm glad you picked up on what I was putting down (ha ha) with regards to Sirius.

Thanks also to Padfoot, Peegchica and Gil-Celeb!!


	40. Secret Revealed

Author's Note: This chapter and the rest of the story overlap with the beginning chapters of Old and New Relations. You don't need to have read those chapters for these to make sense, but it might help. This chapter intertwines with events in OANR Chapters 1, 2, 3 and 5. (Also, I revamped those chapters a bit so if you haven't read them in the last week, you could take a look!) Review responses at the end!

**Chapter 40 Secret Revealed**

Remus contacted Dumbledore – it was time to introduce Cassius to Sirius, as his husband. Dumbledore would tell the rest of the occupants of Grimmauld Place that Cassius was a member of the Order, which he was, and then they would all get to meet him over dinner. Afterwards, he would tell Sirius that Cassius was his mate, then he would tell everyone else.

* * *

"Good morning." Remus walked over to where Cassius was sitting at Moody's kitchen table.

"What are you here?" Cassius looked up at him with confusion.

"I told Moody yesterday I was coming over. Didn't he tell you?"

Cassius rubbed his forehead. "I don't know."

"What are you doing tomorrow for dinner?" Remus sat down and pulled the chair closer to Cassius.

"I don't know, probably eating here. Why?"

"I thought you could come over and have dinner at Grimmauld Place." Remus reached for Cassius's hand. "I want you and Sirius to meet." Cassius jerked but his hand remained in Remus's tight grasp.

"No."

"I don't want to hide it anymore."

"I don't trust him."

"I do. It's irrational of you not to trust him."

"He's given me enough reasons." Cassius's other hand flexed and he was silent for a moment. "No."

"He's innocent. He's my best friend." Remus felt himself get pulled onto Cassius's lap. "I love you." Cassius kissed his neck, sliding his hands up. "Please?"

"I don't want to go there again. It's a horrible place, Remus."

"I know, I've been living there most of the past month." Remus grimaced. "Molly has been working really hard to clean it up, so have the kids." Remus kissed him again "I want him to know who I chose as my mate."

"Remus."

"Cassius, please come to dinner, just meet him. You don't have to be there when I tell him."

"All right." His answer was muffled by Remus' skin.

"And afterwards, we'll go home. To our bed." Remus rocked his hips. He could hear a thumping sound coming closer but he couldn't bring himself to care as Cassius licked at his neck and pulled his hips closer.

"I'd really like to be able to eat this morning." Moody's growl reached Remus's ear a moment later.

"Oh." Remus flushed. "Moody. Sorry." He extricated himself from Cassius's embrace with some difficulty.

* * *

Cassius went to Moody's after work. Together, they were going over to Grimmauld Place. Moody would introduce him to all the occupants of Grimmauld Place and then they would have dinner. Cassius didn't want to go there, he had felt an overwhelming sense of dread when he had stepped in the house to change the wards. He knew it was because of what had happened after the prank on Regulus, he told himself not to be silly, nothing could happen to him now. His Father was long dead, and he himself was a powerful wizard, Sirius couldn't hurt him. And he'd promised Remus he'd go.

The plan was that he and Sirius would meet over dinner, Dumbledore had already told them that Cassius was a member of the Order, then once Cassius was gone, Remus would tell Sirius that he and Cassius were mated. To say it didn't go as planned was an understatement.

Sirius eavesdropped on a conversation between Cassius and the portrait of his aunt, Sirius's mother. Aunt Black's portrait was very subtle and manipulative just like the real thing. It was as if she knew her son would listen. She made sure to mention that Cassius's husband had been living at the house and to remind him that Sirius could try to seduce Remus at any time. Cassius held on to his temper by a thread, feeling his distrust of Sirius boiling to the surface. He knew that Sirius would be able to figure out that Remus was his husband.

Sirius didn't take the news about Cassius and Remus at all well. He seemed particularly affronted by the fact that Remus's mate was his cousin and a Malfoy. Cassius clamped down hard on his emotions, unwilling to show any weakness in front of his cousin. The only bright spot of the evening so far was that Cassius met Harry Potter, his cousin, the only relative of his mother's he had ever met. And, happily, Harry hadn't seemed to hate him on sight.

Finally, the dinner was over. The food had tasted like sawdust. Molly Weasley had seated him next to Remus which was torture. Cassius hadn't been able to look at Remus the whole meal. He knew if he did, he would throw Remus down across the table and have his way with him, audience be damned. He just needed to wait until after dinner, then Remus would come home with him. Sirius got up from the table once he was done eating and walked out of the room quickly.

"I'll be right back." Remus said softly into Cassius' ear and hurried after Sirius.

* * *

"I can't believe you mated with _him_!" Sirius whirled on Remus the minute they were in the upstairs sitting room.

"He's a good man."

"He's a _Malfoy_." Sirius spit out the word.

"I know that…he's still a good man in spite of his family background. Rather like you." Remus said calmly.

"I'd been trying to think of all the possible people you could have mated…I never would have thought you would have mated with my cousin!"

"You make it sound like I chose him to get back at you."

"Didn't you?"

"Don't be ridiculous! I love him!"

"Fine."

"Sirius." Remus didn't know what he was going to say and before he'd figured it out, he heard another voice.

"Sirius?" Harry was in the doorway.

"What?"

"I…I thought we were going to play exploding snap." Harry looked at Sirius and then over at Remus. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's fine, Harry." Sirius said, "Remus and I are done."

Remus looked at Sirius for a long moment and then left the room. He couldn't change who he was mated to, and he didn't want to, and if Sirius couldn't deal with the truth then…Remus sighed…he hoped Sirius would come around.

* * *

Remus walked back down to the kitchen. Only Moody and Cassius were still sitting there.

"He mad?" Cassius asked as he sensed his mate enter the room.

"Yes…because it's you." Remus answered truthfully, walking over to stand next to Cassius. Cassius couldn't speak. Remus's scent filled his head. "Ready to go home?" Remus said softly.

Cassius felt his insides start to melt. "Yes." Cassius' voice was husky with desire.

"I'll just floo home then." Moody said, standing up. "See you tomorrow, Cassie."

* * *

A short time later, Cassius and Remus were home, in their bed. Remus threaded his hand through Cassius' silky hair and kissed him.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not losing your temper. I know it was a difficult evening."

"It was fine." Cassius replied coolly.

"No, it wasn't. Your aunt was horrible – ruining my wonderful plan by talking about your husband - Sirius guessed right away. And he behaved like a git, the whole night was…well, I had hoped it would go smoother."

"It was bad, wasn't it." A smile flitted around the corner of Cassius' mouth. Remus was glad to see it.

Remus laughed. "Yes, but now everything is out in the open. And that's good."

"Is it?"

"Of course it is, darling husband of mine. I want everyone to know that we're mated." Cassius started to speak.

"Don't panic…I didn't mean _everyone_, just our friends."

"And now they know."

"Yes."

"They know you're mine."

"That they do." Remus smiled as Cassius rolled on top of him, moving between his legs.

"I love you." Cassius whispered into Remus' neck.

"Make love with me." Remus murmured, stroking Cassius, coaxing arousal from his mate's body. The joining was slow and gentle.

* * *

"Malfoy." Sirius's cold voice echoed in the stairwell a few days later.

"Cousin." Cassius responded politely. He'd stopped by to see Remus to ask him something. The Weasleys, Hermione and Harry were all gone for the afternoon.

"I can't believe Remus chose _you_."

"Mm…must be hard to realize Remus acquired taste after you were locked up." Cassius drawled as he felt the hairs on the back of his neck start to stand on end. He'd been in the stairwell with Regulus when the prank had happened.

"You bastard." Sirius growled, shaking his black hair out of his stormy gray eyes.

"No, I'm not, actually." Cassius arched an eyebrow, "If you'd really like to challenge me to a duel…say the word…any word…"

"Cassius!" Remus leaned over the railing one floor above where Sirius and Cassius were standing.

"Guess your _wife_ won't let you duel with me. Too bad." Sirius sneered.

The next moment he was holding his bloody, broken nose and crying.

"What are you grinning at, Malfoy?

"Oh, " Cassius shook his head, clearing the image of a beaten Sirius from his mind, "Nothing." He shoved past Sirius and walked up the stairs.

* * *

Cassius tried not to panic as the other Order members filed into the kitchen at Grimmauld Place a couple weeks later. Dumbledore had insisted they needed to know that Cassius was a member of the Order and that he and Remus were mated. He didn't know why he had agreed. Yes, he did know, because Remus had wanted it. After almost ten years, Remus was tired of having their relationship be so secretive. He saw Tessen enter the kitchen and scan the room. Tessen immediately walked over to him.

"You're a member?"

"Obviously. As are you."

"Kingsley recruited me. Hill and Bartleby are members too, but they're both on assignments, couldn't be here."

"It true that they're dating?" Cassius asked.

"No. It's true Bartleby would _like_ to date Hill but Hill's still trying to deny the whole gay thing." Tessen made a face. "He just needs to get over it. So…your boyfriend in the Order too?" He gazed around, obviously trying to figure out who Cassius's boyfriend might be. Cassius was cheered suddenly by the thought that he'd get to see Tessen's reaction. He knew Tessen would be impressed by the fact he'd kept his relationship secret for so long, Slytherins appreciated secrecy. Before Cassius could answer, Dumbledore started the meeting.

There was a long boring part as various people gave updates on their activities. Tessen and Cassius glanced at each other, Tessen rolled his eyes. It was very like the boring weekly update meetings they had in the Auror HQ, including Kingsley and his presentation which always managed to include graphs. Cassius had never quite figured out how that could happen. After the updates were done, Dumbledore stood.

"We have some new members. Everyone in this room is trusted completely by me, I ask that you extend that trust to each other. Auror Liam Tessen is a new recruit, Kingsley brought him into our fold." Liam nodded calmly as everyone turned to look at him. "And next to him is Auror Cassius Malfoy. He has been a member for some months. He was recruited by Remus Lupin, his mate." Tessen's head turned so fast to look at Cassius that Cassius could hear the vertebrae pop. There was a heavy silence as everyone looked at Cassius and then over at Remus who was blushing furiously.

"How?" As everyone looked over at him, Snape clapped his hand over his mouth, looking shocked that he'd actually spoken out loud.

"Well, it involved nakedness, like all sex…Oh, Snape, I forgot. You see, what happened was he put-"

"Cass!" Remus hissed as Snape's face went red. Sirius started to laugh, a rusty bark of a laugh.

"Perhaps anyone who wants to know the exact details could ask Cassie after the meeting." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"If you ask nicely, Snape, we'll give _you _a demonstration." Cassius said coolly as Remus hid his face in his hands. Sirius crossed his arms over his stomach and doubled over, howling with laughter.

"That's the meeting. We will meet back here next Wednesday at 5. Be careful." Dumbledore excused the group.

"Your boyfriend! Your _mate_!" Tessen gasped. "Holy fuck! You! I can't believe you kept this secret!! And I saw you together at the World Cup! And you _lied_!" Tessen's eyes were shining with admiration.

"Of course I lied," Cassius grinned, glad Tessen was impressed, "It was a secret until Dumbledore insisted everyone know. It's _still_ secret outside of the Order."

"Let me tell Katrina, please?" Tessen pleaded. "She keeps wanting to set you up with her cousin, she'll stop pestering me if she knows you're not available."

"All right, but no one else." Cassius glared at Tessen who nodded.

"Swear. So…how long?"

"Ah…" Cassius tried to count but gave up, "I don't know."

"You must be really romantic at anniversaries. 'Here's your gift, honey, but I can't remember how long we've been together.'" Tessen elbowed Cassius, laughing.

"Almost ten years." Remus walked over, his cheeks still slightly pink, picking up on the last comment of Tessen's.

"No shit!" Tessen smiled at Remus. "He's a lucky bastard."

"I know." Remus smiled back

"That was hilarious, Cousin." Sirius was still laughing as he walked over. He and Cassius had bonded a little over their shared scorn of Snape. Cassius gave him a smile.

"Did you _have _to say that to Snape? I felt like everyone started to picture us having sex." Remus glared at Cassius.

"I think everyone did. It was hot." Kingsley grinned at Remus.

"Stop flirting with him." Cassius growled, pulling Remus closer to him.

"I'd stay and chat but I _have_ to tell Katrina. Good one, Cassie. See you later." Tessen thumped Cassius on the shoulder and nodded at Remus, Sirius and Kingsley.

Author's Notes: Several people wrote that it's very sad Sirius doesn't own anything not even his house. I always thought it was odd that he was disinherited and removed from the family tree but he still got the house? And the Ministry didn't try to confiscate it? Or something? So I had it become Cassius's house…

Also, I have an idea for a little romance for Sirius…should I include in this story or make a spin off? It would only be a few chapters. Vote in your next review!

Drastic Diner: Thanks for the review! I agree that Sirius not knowing who Remus's mate was did make it less real, but now he does now.

Elkebaby: Yes, we are close to the end. I have 6 more chapters although…two of those chapters might go into a spin-off depending on how people vote about the Sirius story.

Padfoot: The fight, such as it was, was for you. :-) And I think you were reading my mind about Sirius finding a little happiness of his own with a character created by me because I do have that planned – have for about a week because apparently I can't have people be unhappy in my fiction universe. It's a scary thing how in-sych we are. :-)

MoonyPadfootJr: I'm glad you like my story so much!

Mon2: Umm…Sirius didn't notice Remus and Cassius having sex because…in my universe animagi don't have heightened senses in their human form…yeah, that's it. And I don't know that Sirius is really giving up but he can't really fight the power of the werewolf bond (cue dramatic music!) so he just says he is? Like when you have an ex who broke up with you and they've started to date someone else so you just brood about it and not really say anything to them about how you really feel? I've done that…that's what I imagine Sirius is doing.

Kungzoune: I think I was misspelling your name on other responses, sorry! I'm glad you read this story too! :-)

AffectedMangoO: I don't have another Cassius/Remus story planned but I might do some little scenes unless a plot bunny hops my way. And Sirius will get something soon! :-)

Maurynna78: Here's the update! :-)


	41. Untitled

Author's Notes: I am going to do a spin-off for Sirius's romance. :-) It will be posted once Finding Love is completely posted. For once I am going to finish the whole story before posting it. We'll see if that helps with my story arch and everything.

Thanks to Xhana, Padfoot (I only tweaked OANR a little, promise!), Mon2 (yes, there will be a little more with Snape), AffectedMangoO, Elkebaby, and Peegchica!!!

Oh, and on a personal note, school starts tomorrow but I don't have a job (I graduated in May and I'm certified to be an elementary school teacher) so…it's rather depressing but good news for my writing (oh, the eternal optimist!). So, I wrote 22 pages of Sirius's story the past couple days and I'm working on my Harry story as well…seem to have writers block on my Draco/Ginny story…but now I have time to work on that. :-)

And now…

**Chapter 41 **

On October first, Remus decided that he and Sirius would spend the day at Windy Corner. Grimmauld Place was getting…well…grim. And Remus missed his cozy home. Cassius had just figured out a potion that would disguise Sirius when he Apparated or used the Floo Network. Sirius was now restricted to Windy Corner or Grimmauld Place, by Dumbledore's orders, but at least he could get away from the Noble House of Black once in a while. They arrived exactly at 8 am. Cassius was already sitting at the table. He looked up and smiled happily as Remus brushed the soot off his clothing.

"Remus, right on time." Tabby smiled from where she was serving the eggs onto a platter.

Remus sat down next to Cassius and Sirius sat across from them. "Sleep well last night?" Remus asked, brushing his lips across Cassius's cheek.

"Not really." Cassius shrugged, moving a little closer to Remus. He nodded at Sirius in greeting. "How are you, Cousin?"

"Glad to be away from that damn house." Sirius smiled. He and Cassius had been building their friendship for over a month. Sirius had been reluctant to admit it, but he liked Cassius. He wished he had known his cousin better growing up. Cassius still seemed distant but Sirius figured it would pass as more time went by.

"Hello!" Clara's voice called through the mudroom.

"Everyone decent?" Stevens asked.

"It was only one time, Stevens." Cassius grinned as Stevens walked into the kitchen.

"And I was aroused for weeks. Remus is a lot more muscular than he looks." Stevens winked over at Remus who winked back, laughing.

Clara greeted Tabby then turned towards the table about to speak to Remus when she noticed Sirius sitting there. Stevens followed her gaze and his smile disappeared.

"Clara, Stevens, this is Sirius Black." Remus made the quick introductions. Stevens nodded coolly as he moved to sit on the other side of Cassius.

"Nice to meet you, Sirius." Clara smiled warmly and held her hand out. Sirius shook it. A moment later, Tabby was levitating platters of food towards the table. Clara sat across from Remus and Tabby sat down on the other side of Sirius.

"Here." Clara handed Remus a folded piece of paper. "Today's the big day and I need final approval."

"What big day?" Cassius asked.

"I'm meeting with my supervisor about a promotion at work." Clara took a small bite of toast. "I'm so nervous."

"You'll do fine." Stevens said firmly before taking a big bite of potatoes.

"Yes, you will. You deserve this promotion." Remus glanced up from the paper. "Don't say 'I think' or 'I feel', you do."

"Could you change it on there?" Clara asked. Remus nodded, accio-ing a quill and making a few changes.

"Remus." Cassius murmured.

"Cassius." Remus answered.

"Clara." Tabby said promptly.

"Sirius." Clara laughed, nudging Sirius and pointing towards Stevens, mouthing his name.

"Stevens." Sirius was bewildered but willing to go along.

"Tabby." Stevens picked up his teacup. "Now we know we're all here." (1)

"Give me your toast." Remus held his hand out for Cassius's two pieces of toast. Sirius watched curiously as Remus continued to read Clara's speech, reached for the jam and spread it over both pieces before handing them back to Cassius. Cassius started to eat them immediately. "Looks great, Clara. If he doesn't give you that promotion, he's obviously a bloody idiot." Remus handed the paper back to Clara with a smile.

"Great." Clara let out a long breath. "I'm going to go. I'm too nervous to eat anything."

"I'll wrap you up something for later." Tabby rose. Clara nodded as she stood. She hugged Remus tightly.

"You'll do fine. You deserve that promotion. You're already doing the job. Remember that." Remus hugged her back.

Clara nodded and moved to hug Stevens. "I second what Remus said." Stevens kissed Clara soundly. "Love you."

"Love you." Clara started to move around the table to the fireplace.

"Where's _my_ hug?" Cassius tugged on her robes. Clara flung her arms around Cassius's neck.

"If he doesn't give you the promotion, I'll hex him." Cassius stated, causing Clara to laugh. She gave Tabby a hug by the fireplace when Tabby handed her the covered plate.

"Wish me luck."

"Luck!" They all shouted.

* * *

A few minutes after Clara had gone, an owl flew into the kitchen window with two copies of the Daily Prophet. Remus grabbed money from the sideboard and paid the owl, taking the papers.

"Mph thrsh rbbsh" Cassius said, his mouth full of food.

"You don't pay for it so I can read all the rubbish I want." Remus messed up Cassius's hair affectionately.

"Can I have more toast?" Cassius asked. Remus nodded, handing Tabby one of the papers. He picked up two more pieces of toast from the rack and spread jam on them and handed them to Cassius.

"Why can't you prepare your own toast?" Sirius asked, too curious not to ask this time.

"He remembers what kind of jam I like." Cassius shrugged. "I can never remember if it's orange marmalade or strawberry."

"It's strawberry." Remus and Stevens chorused.

"But Tabby and I like orange marmalade so they're both always on the table." Remus added.

"Remus, I was thinking I'd take Clara out for dinner to celebrate her promotion." Stevens leaned around Cassius to look at Remus. "Which would she like more, Athens or Paris?"

"She's never been to Paris."

"No. But she loves Athens."

"Paris." Remus took a sip of tea. "Definitely Paris. And there's that wizard restaurant at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Aspasia and Gandalf went there for their anniversary last year and she just raved about it."

"I best get going then. Have to make reservations, and then get to practice. Come with me, Cassie?"

"He has a committee meeting at 9, he can't be late for work."

"He won't be." Stevens stood, glancing at Sirius. Cassius shoved his last piece of toast in his mouth as he went and grabbed his coat.

"I love you." Remus stood and kissed Cassius as he came back into the kitchen.

"I love you. Will you be here when I get home from work?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to stay the night?" Cassius's voice got softer. Remus nodded.

"Have a good day at work." He kissed Cassius again. "Bye, Stevens." Stevens waved and they flooed to Stevens's flat.

"He can't remember what type of jam he likes?" Sirius blurted out as soon as they were gone. There had been other instances of Cassius being very forgetful that Sirius had noticed. He finally had to ask.

"He has memory trouble sometimes when he doesn't sleep well. His father…" Remus paused, realizing he was telling the one person who started the events in motion that caused Cassius's memory loss. It was Julius Malfoy's doing, but Sirius had blamed Cassius. "His father punished him and he used Cruciatus, it affected Cass's memory."

"What'd Cassius done?"

"His father thought he'd done a prank that hurt Regulus, the summer before our sixth year." Remus said calmly, much more calmly than he felt.

"When Regulus had to go to hospital?" Sirius asked, gray eyes widening in understanding.

"Yes."

"I did that prank…I blamed Cassius."

"I know."

"Holy fuck." Sirius breathed, staring down at his plate. "Mother owled me the next week, disowning me, that's why I never went back. I only went to James's to let them cool down, I knew they'd be mad but… I never understood why she was so mad. She…after Aunt Malfoy died, Mother doted on Cousin Cassius. But I never knew. _That's_ why he wasn't around much sixth year?"

Remus nodded. "He spent most of the year in the hospital wing. I was surprised when I met him to find out he was in the same year as Regulus. You'd never mentioned a younger cousin being at school with us."

"I hardly knew him. He was always thrown with Regulus during visits, and he hardly spoke. Regulus and I used to laugh that he was a mute." Sirius raised haunted eyes to look at Remus. "Is that why he doesn't like me?"

"Apparently he had reasons to dislike you before then." Sirius gave a small nod, he'd never been nice to his small pale cousin. "But…yes, it's a factor. You make him feel…not safe."

"Like I'll do something to get him in trouble again."

"Yes."

"Shit."

* * *

"Cousin Cassius." Sirius sat down next to him at the table. Remus was talking to Tabby as they fixed dinner. Clara had just left after telling them all that her meeting had been a success and that Stevens was taking her out for a celebratory dinner in Paris. She was glowing with excitement and happiness.

"Yes?" Cassius turned to look at his cousin, noticing how Sirius had addressed him in the formal fashion of the purebloods. They had begun a tentative friendship after Sirius had apologized for accusing Cassius of rape, but Sirius had never acknowledged their family connection before now. Cassius still didn't really trust Sirius, but he was trying, for Remus's sake. He grudgingly had to admit that Sirius seemed an all right guy, but he still couldn't totally shake the unease he felt when Sirius was near.

"I'm glad you and Remus…well…it's good. He's really happy." Sirius shook his black hair out of his eyes. "I'm sorry for all the years I was a git to you." Cassius stared, feeling shocked at hearing that Sirius was sorry. It was only the second time he'd ever heard Sirius be sorry for anything. "I'm sorry I blamed the prank on you - when Regulus was hurt. I didn't think Uncle Malfoy would hurt you." Sirius's gray eyes looked at Cassius earnestly. "I ran away, when Uncle told Dad I had really done it, I thought I'd be punished…like no food for a week or something – I didn't know what Uncle had done…and I hated living at home anyway. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Cassius continued to stare. Sirius started to look uneasy at Cassius' silence. "Please… accept my apology?"

"Yes. I do." Cassius said slowly.

"Good." Sirius smiled. Cassius smiled back cautiously. "It's important to Remus, you know, that we're friends."

"I know."

"He's my best friend."

"I know."

"I'd never do anything to what you two have." Sirius said quietly. "I've seen how much you love each other. I just want him in my life. I love him – I want him to love me. Remus always thought I could do anything."

"He still does." Cassius said. They sat silently for a moment. Cassius couldn't think what to say next.

"I hate being in that house again." Sirius growled. "I haven't been outside for a month, since Harry left for Hogwarts."

"Since you were seen on the platform, yes, I heard. It was foolish of you to risk being seen just for some sunlight."

"Fuck you, Cousin." Sirius's voice didn't have any real anger in it.

"You're still a fugitive. If they catch you, they will summon the Dementors for The Kiss. There will be no trial this time either."

"So it doesn't matter if I'm driven mad by that bloody house?"

"Not so long as you're safe." Cassius shrugged, he'd hate to be cooped up in Grimmauld Place too. It filled him with a sense of dread whenever he stepped foot in it, although it was better when Remus was there with him. "It's important that you're safe. It's important to Remus."

"Easy for you to say."

"If it's important to Remus, it doesn't matter what it takes or what happens."

"Did I hear my name?" Remus walked over and threaded his hand through Cassius' smooth hair. Cassius leaned into the touch. Neither man answered. "What are you two talking about?"

"Sirius having to stay at Grimmauld Place." Cassius answered, he'd tell Remus about Sirius's apology later.

"With the potion, he could spend more days here, couldn't he?" Remus asked Cassius who nodded as he pulled Remus into his lap. "That'll be good, won't it?" He asked Sirius who nodded, watching Cassius and Remus enviously. Remus smiled at him.

* * *

"I wish you would stop tormenting Snape." Remus said as he, Cassius and Sirius sat down for dinner at Grimmauld Place a couple weeks later. Sirius and Cassius had been laughing about Snape who had just left after delivering some information that Cassius was going to give to Kingsley the next day.

"I'm not tormenting him, I'm just reminding him that he's a 35 year old virgin and he won't be getting any from you. It's entirely different." Cassius took a bite of the ravioli Tabby had made for them.

"It's not. It's bad enough that Sirius and Snape are always at each other's throats without you contributing." Remus stabbed at a ravioli with his fork and put it in his mouth, chewing deliberately.

"He's a greasy git, Remus, he deserves it! Have you forgotten how horrible he's always been to you?" Sirius said huffily.

Cassius didn't say anything. He took another bite, watching Remus who was staring at his plate. Cassius put his fork down.

"Are you wishing or asking?" He asked quietly.

Remus raised his eyes and met Cassius's gaze levelly. "Asking." Cassius nodded and picked his fork back up and started eating again.

Not for the first time in the past few months, Sirius was amazed by how confident Remus was compared to how he'd been before Sirius had gone to Azkaban. He'd been so quiet. He'd let other people, like James and Sirius, take the lead. He'd never tried to stop them when they'd bullied Snape and now…Remus spoke up when things happened that he didn't like and Sirius had seen how Remus was the one his loved ones looked to for leadership.

* * *

1) This is a little bit I borrowed from "Life With Bonnie" one of my favorite shows. I love Bonnie Hunt and I laugh out loud at that show. :-)

There are three chapters left! Next Chapter: Halloween Festivities at Windy Corner!


	42. Halloween

Author's Notes: Thanks to my reviewers!

Mon2: I do have five pages of a snippet from the early days of Remus and Cassius's relationship written so I will post that when people need a R/C fix. :-) Thank you for your wonderful compliments!

Drastic Diner: Hope the rest of your move went smoothly and that you've got internet access again!

Noone: Here's the next chapter! And I don't want Sirius to die either…I'm currently in denial (again) about that and no, before anyone asks, I will not be writing Remus's POV of Sirius's death…WAY too depressing. (sniffle)

Oh, and Stevens's first name, Aloysius is pronounced 'al-o-WISH-us'. I know when I read names, I always want to know how they really sound. And I realized the pronunciation isn't included anywhere in the story yet. So there it is. :-)

This has some angst at the beginning but then we get to some happy stuff too.

**Chapter 42 Halloween**

"Good morning." Remus said as he brushed the soot from his robes, he'd just flooed into the kitchen at Grimmauld Place, holding two bunches of flowers.

"What's good about it?" Sirius growled. "It's Halloween. And what are those for?"

"I know." Remus paused. "I thought we'd go put flowers on James and Lily's graves today."

"What?" Sirius snapped.

"Moody's coming with us, he's made arrangements. If we don't linger, it should be safe." Remus looked a little paler than normal, but it wasn't near the full moon.

"I don't want to go." Sirius crossed his arms and glared down at the table.

"All right." Remus said calmly. "Moody is meeting me here in just a bit, I guess it will just be the two of us." Remus sat down. "I wish you'd come." Sirius didn't answer. They sat in silence until Moody arrived ten minutes later.

"Sirius isn't coming." Remus stood, gathering the flowers to his chest protectively.

"Nonsense." Moody said gruffly, pulling a wrapped portkey out of his pocket. "Tessen will signal when it's safe for us to come by making the portkey glow. Should be any moment. Come along, Black." Moody fixed Sirius with an authoritative glare and Sirius walked over meekly. "Put this on." Moody handed Sirius an invisibility cloak and then tapped him on the head doing a disillusionment charm. The portkey, a muggle coin, glowed brightly. "That's the signal. We've got 10 seconds." Moody touched the portkey, as did Remus and Sirius.

* * *

They were standing in a small graveyard. Sirius turned his face up, feeling the sun beating down on it. He looked back down. In front of him were two simple stones, engraved with the names James Potter and Lily Potter. Sirius felt tears well up in his eyes. They were dead. Because of him. He would kill Peter, he would revenge them. He would help Harry to live. He wouldn't let them down again. He took a deep breath, smelling the autumn air.

"I wish they had nicer gravestones. But these were all I could afford." Remus said softly. Sirius nodded, then realized Remus couldn't see him so he moved and squeezed Remus's fingers gently.

Remus crouched, laying a bunch of flowers on each grave, and pulled away some of the weeds. "I haven't been coming as often as I used to, with everything going on. The weeds." He stopped, tears choking off his speech. Sirius watched as Remus's thin shoulders shook silently.

Moody pulled two smooth stones out of his pocket and placed one on each of the gravestones. He looked over at Sirius and gave an almost imperceptible nod. Sirius crouched down, picking up two rocks from the ground, keeping them hidden under the cloak until he was right next to the gravestone. He placed one on each, for James and for Lily. He looked back up at the sky, he could almost feel James and Lily looking down on them.

"We best get going." Moody said gently, laying his hand on Remus's bowed head. Sirius had never, in all the years he had known Moody, heard him speak like that. He glanced at Tessen who was standing a few feet away, scanning the area surreptitiously. Moody pulled out a different portkey, a bottle-opener, out of his pocket.

"That'll do, Liam." Moody said gruffly and Sirius watched as Tessen beamed proudly.

"Thank you, sir."

Remus wiped the tears from his cheeks as he stood. Moody held out the portkey and Remus and Sirius both grabbed hold. Moody uttered a word and with a jerk, they were pulled to Windy Corner.

* * *

"Bettina." Moody gave a small bow.

"Alastor." Tabby nodded. Sirius pulled off the invisibility cloak and then felt a sharp rap on his head as Moody took the disillusionment charm off. "Tea?" Tabby asked, looking at the three of them. Remus and Sirius nodded. Tabby took Remus's face in her hands and brought his forehead down for a gentle kiss as Moody politely accepted the offer for tea.

"Cassius! They're here!" Tabby went to the kitchen doorway and called up the stairs. Heavy footsteps clomped down the stairs. "Honestly, must you sound like a herd of elephants?"

"Yes." Cassius stuck his tongue out and pretended to be injured as Tabby swatted his arm. Moody sat down at the table. "You're staying?" Cassius asked happily. Moody nodded. "Sirius, sit on this side." Cassius steered Sirius to the opposite side of the table and then Cassius sat down next to him, pulling Remus on to his lap, kissing his neck.

Remus hid a smile at Cassius's obvious intention to have Tabby sit next to Moody. Tabby seemed unperturbed as she poured them all a cup of tea. She sat down next to Moody as Cassius busily put sugar in his tea.

"I think a couple cheering charms are in order for Remus and Sirius." Tabby commented.

Moody nodded, pulling out his wand and waving it at Sirius and Remus who both immediately felt warm and happy. Remus wrapped his chilled fingers around his tea cup.

"Why don't I get one?" Cassius asked, feeling left out.

"You've put four lumps of sugar in your tea, my lamb, you'll be happy enough in a moment." Tabby smiled.

"You're not working today?" Moody asked.

"No, I switched shifts with O'Rourke so I could have today and tomorrow off." Cassius sipped his tea.

"Shacklebolt says Worth wants to promote you." Moody commented, seemingly casually, although Remus knew Moody had never made a casual move in his life. "It'd be a good career move, you're more than capable of doing the job."

"Yeah." Cassius's right hand clenched in Remus's sweater.

Remus turned slightly to look back at Cassius. "You didn't tell me you met with Worth."

"Well…" Cassius sighed heavily. "I just don't _want_ to be promoted, it'll just be meetings and dealing with people asking me questions all the time. I said I'd think about it but I have already and I don't want to be one."

"It'd be an honor to be Senior Auror so young." Moody said. "Kingsley was the first Senior Auror under forty."

"I don't want to be a Senior Auror. I told you before." Cassius said smoothly. Remus knew the Malfoy voice was only used at home when Cassius was upset.

"If you were home every night with Remus, there'd be no reason for your memory not be good enough to be able to answer any question someone asked you." Moody said, making another argument for the promotion.

"I guess." Cassius shrugged, reaching for his cup of tea again.

"And it'd be safer." Moody continued before Tabby laid a hand on his, stopping him. Remus turned slightly to see if Cassius had noticed but he was chewing his fingers, looking down at the table.

"He doesn't want to be a Senior Auror, Alastor," Tabby said calmly, "Not everyone is as ambitious as you. Leave him be."

Moody nodded, draining his cup of tea. "I'll be off then." Remus felt Cassius tense, his arm tightened so much that Remus could barely breathe.

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad, my boy." Moody smiled, twisting his scarred face. He stood up. "I have to go because I'm meeting Arthur Weasley for lunch." Tabby coughed softly. "Give me a hug then I'm going." Remus slid off Cassius's lap and Cassius was enveloped in a bear hug by Moody. Remus's werewolf hearing picked up Moody's soft remarks.

"I'm not Julius. You make me proud no matter what you do. I wouldn't care if you suddenly turned into a squib. All right?" Cassius nodded as Moody pulled away. "Have fun tonight with Aloysius."

"All right." Cassius smiled. "Bye."

"Bye all." Moody threw some floo powder into the fireplace and was gone.

"Who's Aloysius?" Sirius asked with confusion.

"Stevens. It's his first name, he hates it." Cassius said with a grin, sitting down next to Tabby and laying his head on her shoulder. She reached up and patted his cheek.

"I can see why." Sirius laughed.

* * *

Remus had organized a Movie Night for that night to get Sirius away from Grimmauld Place and to give them all something happy to focus on instead of the anniversary of James and Lily's death. Clara was out of town for work so Stevens came over alone. Stevens had been coldly polite when he'd met Sirius the first time, he was friendlier now. Remus knew it was because Sirius had apologized to Cassius for blaming him for the prank all those years ago.

"Remus, I thought you said we couldn't have tequila anymore." Stevens turned from the counter, holding the bottle of Cuervo.

"Sirius likes it, I got it for him." Remus answered from where he was making salsa.

"Why does Sirius gets to have tequila and we don't?" Cassius asked petulantly.

"Because, unlike certain wizards I know, Sirius doesn't get the urge to strip naked and Disapparate to the Shrieking Shack to pretend he's a poltergeist after he's had a few shots of it." Remus answered calmly.

"That's not fair! It was just the once." Cassius protested.

"Twice." Stevens muttered.

"It was _four_ times. Therefore, you two will not be having any of this." Remus crossed over and took the bottle from Stevens's hand. He handed it to Sirius. "If either of them reach for it, you have my permission to jinx them." Sirius nodded, wondering if it was worth getting Remus mad to see Stevens and Cassius naked. Remus turned back to Stevens. "I got you fire whiskey instead."

"Are we having guacamole?" Stevens asked, changing the subject. "We _always_ have guacamole."

"Cass is in charge of the guacamole. Talk to him."

"Well, Malfoy? Where is it?" Stevens demanded. "I haven't seen you do anything since I got here."

"Tabby made it earlier after I couldn't remember what was in it. It's in the cooling cupboard." Cassius's cheeks flushed.

"You're so cute when you blush." Stevens grabbed Cassius in a headlock. Cassius protested, starting the old argument that went: "are not", "are too", and repeat.

"Have they already been drinking?" Sirius quickly moved over to stand by Remus as Cassius and Stevens fell to the floor with a thud and a few muffled "Ows". For once, Cassius started tickling Stevens first.

"They've had lots of sugar and caffeine – it does strange things to them." Remus laughed as Sirius stared. He was so used to Stevens and Cassius now that it was funny to see Sirius's reaction. Stevens flipped them over and pinned Cassius to the floor.

Now that he'd adjusted slightly to the idea there were two thirty-something wizards acting like 3rd years at Hogwarts, Sirius tried to focus on something other than the fact that the wizards in question were tall, lean, muscular blond men who were rolling around on the floor grabbing at each other. It had been a long time since he'd had sex, and with the fantasy images of Stevens and Cassius naked still in his head, he was starting to get hot. He could see why people had fantasies about twins. He shook his head, noticing something.

"Cassius is giggling."

"Yeah." Remus turned and gazed lovingly at his mate.

"He never even cracked a smile, all those years I knew him before. And he giggles. It's very strange."

"I think it's adorable." Remus smiled. "Ok. Salsa is done. Guacamole is done. Chips are?"

"Already in the sitting room." Sirius answered promptly.

"We're ready for Movie Night." Remus said loudly so he could be heard over Stevens and Cassius.

"And what are we watching again?" Sirius took the bowl of salsa Remus handed him.

"'Airplane'. It's brilliant." Remus got the bowl of guacamole out of the cooling cupboard along with the fire whiskey and a butter beer for himself. "Cass, Stevens. Come on or we'll start the movie without you."

Stevens and Cassius quickly separated. Stevens took the bottle of fire whiskey that Remus handed him.

"Now, Sirius has never seen this so let's keep conversation to a minimum." Remus said, glaring at Stevens and Cassius as they went into the sitting room.

"Aw, Remus, you're no fun." Stevens pouted. "He'll miss out on the full experience if we don't talk." Suddenly Remus found himself sandwiched between Stevens and Cassius as they pleaded their case with words (from Stevens) and kisses (from Cassius). Sirius wished he was Remus.

"All right, all right," Remus gave in. "But I retain the right to put a silencing charm on you if you get too out of hand."

"We won't." They chorused as they sat on the couch trying to look very innocent.

"Here, this chair is for you, Sirius." Remus pointed to the one Tabby normally sat in, she was sleeping in her cat form up in the library. He walked over to the VCR and put the movie in. "And I'll sit –"

"Between us." Cassius answered promptly, moving aside to make room.

"Come on, Remus, you know you want to." Stevens patted the space next to him

"You know you want to? Who says that?" Cassius turned to Stevens.

"I do." Stevens stuck his tongue out then gasped sharply as Cassius's long fingers tweaked one of his nipples. "Ow!"

"You liked it." Cassius arched his eyebrow seductively at Stevens.

"I did like it." Stevens rubbed at his chest. "I'll have to tell Clara. She likes that as well."

"Those are sensitive on girls too?" Cassius asked with amazement. Sirius laughed.

"You _have_ to the section in that book about girls so I don't have to keep explaining _everything._" Stevens took a swig from the fire whiskey bottle. He and Cassius never bothered with shot glasses.

"I'll sit over here." Remus sat down in his chair and immediately began trying to ignore the two pouting blonds on the couch. It worked for about two minutes. He sighed, got up and sat down between Stevens and Cassius. "Want to join us on the couch?" He asked Sirius. "There's room."

Sirius gazed at them for a moment then shrugged. "I'll be closer to the food, I suppose." He sat on the other side of Cassius. A few levitation spells later, the snacks were all in easy reach as well as the drinks.

* * *

"I always thought Ravenclaw was the nerd house." Sirius said thoughtfully after the movie was over and they were all considerably tipsy. He'd slipped down off the couch and was sitting on the floor in front of it.

"Watch it, Black." Stevens growled. "We'll have take action if we feel our house's honor is in question."

"We're evenly matched." Sirius sat up straighter. "I'd like to see you try." Remus was glad to see some of the old spark back in Sirius's eyes.

"Please, it's no contest! You're still thin from all those years in Azkaban and Remus is totally easy." Stevens said dismissively.

"I am not!" Remus protested. "I'm a werewolf so - "

"I'm a werewolf." Stevens and Cassius mimicked. Stevens continued, sounding amazingly like Remus. "I'm a big, bad, dark creature with super-human strength who can be brought down with a well-placed tickling charm."

"That spot behind his right knee?" Sirius asked.

"Uh huh." Stevens and Cassius nodded together.

"You're right, there." Three pairs of eyes focused on Remus's knee and he started to feel very uncomfortable.

"No one is tickling me." He said firmly, hands itching to cover the back of his knee protectively.

"That's right, no one is tickling Remus – at the moment." Cassius reached for the nearly empty bottle of fire whiskey and took a drink from it. "But we _could _beat you both so…Ravenclaw wins!" He held his hand up to Stevens who waved his hand in Cassius's general direction.

* * *

Author's notes: due to some things I thought of yesterday, there will be another chapter between now and the end of the story – so there are still three left. (I know, I know, I'm horrible for extending the story (ha ha ha)) Next chapter will continue Halloween night festivities and then move forward. Also, I updated my little profile on FFnet so if you want to check that out for story update info…you can. :-)


	43. November

Just two more chapters left after this! Destiny Bunny, thank you for your reviews! Kelsiface, thanks for your review, all my stories feature my original characters so if you like this, I think you will like my other ones. Mon2, I will contemplate a Hogwarts era story with Cassius, Stevens and Owen…not sure…and I didn't mean James and Lily's gravestones were not nice, just that they didn't have grand tombs or something. I imagined Remus spent all his money (at the time) on them and the rest of the funeral costs and he was worried Sirius wouldn't think they were grand enough.

And now …

**Chapter 43 November**

The chime struck midnight. Halloween was over for another year. Cassius and Remus were laying on the sofa, Stevens was sprawled in one of the chairs and Sirius was laying on the floor.

"What book?" Sirius asked, sitting up suddenly.

"What?" Cassius asked, twining a lock of Remus's hair around his finger.

"You mentioned a book earlier." Sirius hiccupped.

"Cass has a book." Stevens answered picking up the second bottle of fire whiskey they'd just opened.

"It's a brilliant book." Cassius nodded. "I'll get it." Cassius stumbled up the stairs and returned holding the book.

"How you always manage to remember where that is is truly amazing." Remus smiled at Cassius as he sat down on the floor leaning back against Remus's legs. Remus accio-ed his fifth butter beer.

"Just shows what he can do with the proper motivation." Stevens laughed.

"Here." Cassius gestured for Sirius to move closer and opened the book. "Oh, wait, we're looking at the girl section. I've never looked at it before." He flipped towards the front of the book.

"Why are those pages stuck together?" Sirius pointed at some pages towards the end of the book.

"I wanked on them." Cassius shrugged. Sirius was once again taken aback by his cousin's bluntness. "And I can't remember the cleaning spell." Stevens snickered. "It's Remus's fault." Cassius continued defensively.

"Why is it my fault?"

"You were gone." Cassius explained, looking down on the page where a man and woman were engaged in sex. "You can do it with a girl like that?"

"They have knees too, you know." Stevens laughed. "Some women like it a lot."

"Does Clara?"

"No. She likes us to be facing, to be able to kiss me."

"Huh." Cassius looked at Stevens thoughtfully. "Remus likes that too."

"So do _you_." Remus leaned forward and put his arms around Cassius's neck, kissing his cheek. "Oh, move over." Remus squeezed in between Stevens and Cassius as Cassius turned the page.

"Merlin, she's flexible." Sirius commented with awe.

"Before you ask, no, Clara's never done that…yet. Could I borrow the book tomorrow?"

"Sure." Cassius shrugged, turning the page. Remus grabbed his hand and muttered a cleaning charm over the book, un-sticking all the pages at the back of the book.

"You can do magic using Cassie's hand?" Stevens asked with amazement.

"Oh, yeah, isn't that cool? When did we discover that?"

"Don't know." Cassius was tilting his head looking at the picture of a woman straddling a man and bouncing up and down.

"I was showing him how to do a levitation charm, a few years ago and I noticed that the book was levitating even though Cass hadn't said the incantation but I had. He's like a big walking wand." Remus said. Sirius snorted.

"Do you suppose that's the werewolf bond or could anyone do that too?" Stevens asked curiously.

"I don't know. I don't think it would be the bond, there's nothing I've read that mentions being able to control the mate's magic ability. I didn't get the ability to do wandless magic after we mated. I think if the wizard has good control of his own magic then -"

"Merlin, Remus, remember you're a Gryffindor – get a grip." Sirius muttered. "Turn the page already, Cousin."

Another hour and they were in the second section, the one Cassius had read many times.

"What are those marks?" Sirius asked.

"When Remus and I started dating he wouldn't have sex with me so we did everything except sex and I started keeping track of what we did, so I knew what we'd done before and what we hadn't."

"You didn't!" Remus lifted a few pages, looking at the corners. "So that means we did this…seventeen times? When did you stop keeping track?"

"No clue."

"What does this mean?" Sirius pointed to the some writing in the corner on the opposite page. Cassius looked at it.

"Oh. That was the first time Remus yelled my name when he came. June 23, 1984."

"How can that word be June? There's no recognizable J in it!" Sirius stared down at the page.

"So you like that, Remus?" Stevens asked, looking down at the wizarding photo of two men laying together.

"Yes." Remus knew he had to be drunk since he wasn't embarrassed at all. "Cass's fingers are my second favorite body part."

"What's your favorite?" Cassius asked curiously.

"Your tongue." Remus whispered, his fingers finding their way into Cassius's mouth to stroke over it.

"You two can keep looking at the book, we're going to bed." Cassius jumped to his feet and pulled Remus up with him. "Good night."

"Bed sounds good to me too." Sirius said, a moment after Cassius and Remus had left the room.

"Yeah." Stevens closed the book.

* * *

Cassius and Remus barely made it to the bedroom. Twice they stopped on the stairs, Cassius pulling off Remus's shirt somewhere along the way. If it hadn't been for Sirius's shocked yell as he reached the landing, Cassius would have had Remus's pants off and then…but they managed to get into their room. Remus heard the door click shut, he knew Stevens must have done it since he and Cassius had fallen to the floor in a tangle of drunken limbs. Remus struggled out of his pants.

"The room's spinning." Cassius observed from where he laid on his back.

"Yeah." Remus straddled him, sinking down on him (the lubrication charm and the zipper had been dealt with on the seventh stair). He braced himself on Cassius's chest and needed only to rock a few times before they both came. Cassius propped himself up on his elbows as Remus leaned over pressing his forehead against his mate's.

"What's your third favorite body part?" Cassius panted.

"Guess." Remus said breathlessly, glancing down where they were still joined.

"Is it a coincidence that all three favorite body parts can go inside you?"

Remus laughed, still gasping for breath, before kissing Cassius, stroking over his mate's tongue.

"They're not _always_ my favorite three. They change from time to time."

"Really?"

"Mmm…sometimes this is one." Remus traced over the bite mark on Cassius's shoulder, moaning as Cassius thrust upwards suddenly. "And sometimes this." He trailed a finger down to the nipple pierced with his ring. He circled around it. "And sometimes your eyes, or your nose."

"This long Malfoy nose? You like it?" Cassius wrinkled said nose in disdain.

"Yes. I like it." Remus smoothed a finger down the length of it. "I like it when it rubs against mine." He smiled. Cassius smiled back at him. "And sometimes your whole mouth. It just depends."

"Oh."

"But there is one body part that I love above _all_ others. Your heart." Remus pressed his hand firmly on Cassius's chest, feeling the heartbeat speeding up. "Because it's mine." There was a breathless moment as Cassius gazed up at Remus.

"You are so sappy when you're drunk."

"Mmm. And you love me."

"Yeah. I think I have a concussion." Cassius winced. "From when we landed."

"Oh?" Remus felt the back of Cassius's head. "You do have a bump."

"Well, press harder on it, Remus, I don't think it hurts enough."

"Sorry. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three."

"You seem fine. We'll have to stay awake for a bit."

"Really?"

"Let's move to the bed so you don't bang your head again." Remus crawled off Cassius and helped Cassius up. A few moments later, they were safe in bed.

"I love you." Remus whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

"I don't know."

"I love you too." Cassius rolled them over, whispering more words of love in his ear.

* * *

Sirius stumbled downstairs feeling hung-over. He paused at the door to get his bearings and saw Remus sitting on Cassius's lap laughing at something Stevens was saying. Cassius appeared not to be listening at all as he nuzzled Remus's neck. Sirius watched as Cassius's hand slipped under Remus's shirt. He was jealous…not so much that Cassius was touching Remus but that Remus was being touched by someone…Sirius was starting to ache to be touched by something other than his own hand.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Remus noticed Sirius in the doorway. "There's tea here. We decided to have brunch even though it's almost eleven."

"Sounds good."

* * *

A week later, Clara, Stevens, Sirius and Remus were in the sitting room at Windy Corner talking and laughing about memories of school. Tabby was curled up in her cat form on the rug in front of the fire. It was a cold mid- November day. Cassius had gotten home a few minutes before and gone up almost immediately to take a shower after saying hello and kissing Remus. He'd been gone for a few days tracking a dark wizard.

Remus looked over at Clara to ask her a question. She was gazing past him, her eyes slightly glazed. He could smell his mate's scent in the air.

"He's naked, isn't he." Remus didn't have to ask. She nodded. Remus glanced over at Sirius who was staring wide-eyed past his shoulder. He turned to see Cassius, still dripping with water, holding a book in his hand. "What's that?"

"That book you wanted to borrow from Tessen. I wanted to give it to you before I forgot."

"Thanks." Remus took the book and dried it off on his shirt. "I thought we talked about wearing towels when company is here."

Clara's cheeks were pink as she started studying at her tea cup.

"Cassie just did it for me, " Stevens grinned. "He knows it gets Clara hot." Clara hurled a pillow at him, laughing.

"Don't make me get all possessive." Remus laughed. "Did you finish your shower?" Remus stood.

"No, not if you're going to help me finish it." Cassius said hopefully, Remus smiled at him.

"Wow, look at that." Clara breathed as Cassius grew harder. "Are you sure you're a half inch longer?" She turned to Stevens as Remus pushed Cassius out of the sitting room.

"Of course I am. We measured."

"You did?" Sirius blurted out.

"The most important thing to know about Ravenclaws is their obsession with having to know absolutely everything, including the length of their friends' penises." Stevens said calmly. "Actually we only did it because Owen said that Cassius had the biggest one he'd ever seen which obviously meant he'd never checked me out in the locker room."

* * *

The full moon was a couple weeks later. Remus was pacing in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place, watching the clock anxiously. Cassius had said he would be there, he said he would. He'd be there. Remus paced back and forth in front of the fireplace. Less than an hour until moonrise. He turned, maybe Cassius would knock on the door. Maybe Remus should wait there. He'd just started out of the kitchen when someone floo-ed in. He turned and ran over.

"Oh…" Remus halted a few steps away from the person. He'd almost thrown his arms around him and kissed him. He wondered wildly what Snape would have done if that had happened.

"Here." Snape thrust the large goblet of Wolfsbane potion into his hand.

"Thanks." Remus pasted a polite smile on his face and hastily gulped the potion down. "Ugh."

"It's effective. Sorry if it doesn't taste good." Snape sneered.

"No, it's fine. I appreciate you brewing it for me, Severus." Remus handed the goblet back. "How are you?"

"We're not friends, Lupin."

"I know we weren't in the past, but I'd like to be now."

Snape gazed at him silently for a moment. "I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity! Damn it, isn't life precarious enough right now without trying to make it harder?" Remus snapped.

"Fine. We're friends." Snape growled.

"Good." Remus echoed his tone. "So, how are you?"

"All the brats are their normal bratty selves, they don't appreciate the art of potion making, especially Longbottom. The boy is a menace. Umbridge is a bitch but I have to pretend to like her so I can tell Dumbledore what she's doing. Voldemort is calling meetings more often and I have to pretend to be a loyal Death Eater so I can tell Dumbledore what he's doing. And I hate coming here and having to deal with Black and all his shit. So…I'm fine."

"Ah." Remus nodded.

"How are you." Snape grated out between clenched teeth.

"Well, I've been having panic attacks lately, never had them before June, and they're horrible. I'm separated from Cass often which is hard. And I'm terrified that Voldemort is going to kill everyone I care about. So…I'm fine too." Snape gave a small smile, so small that Remus wondered if he'd just imagined it. "See, this friend thing is nice, isn't it?"

"Huh." Snape snorted. "I'll see you-"

Heavy footsteps echoed down the stairs into the kitchen. Remus whirled to the door, his nose picking up his mate's scent.

"There you are." His voice was a mixture of relief and arousal as he ran to embrace Cassius.

"I'm sorry I'm late. And I only have twenty minutes." Cassius's long fingers pulled at the buttons on Remus's robes. He undid the top two, revealing Remus's bare chest. "Mmm…you naked under there?" Remus nodded as his fingers fumbled with Cassius's belt. "Hello, Snape." He greeted Snape politely.

Remus turned, fingers still on Cassius's belt, he'd forgotten Snape was still in the room. He smiled ruefully at Snape who nodded in acknowledgment.

"Malfoy. I'll see you at the next meeting, Remus."

"Bye, Severus. Take care." Snape threw floo powder in the fireplace and returned to Hogwarts.

Cassius unbuttoned the rest of Remus's robe and moving them towards the table. "You're friends now?" He lifted Remus up onto the kitchen table.

"Yes. Can't we go to my room?" Remus pleaded as Cassius's fingers stroked into his body. "Oh! Your fingers are cold."

"Sorry." Cassius kissed Remus tenderly as he unzipped his pants quickly. "There's no time."

"I…I…oh…" Remus shuddered, his thoughts flying away as Cassius leaned in to kiss him. Lost in the bliss of being together again, neither of them heard another pair of footsteps coming down the stairs.

Sirius stopped, frozen, in the doorway of the kitchen. Remus was laying across the kitchen table, his robe open, exposing his scarred torso. His lower body was covered by Cassius's long coat as Cassius leaned over him.

"Need you. All of you." Remus's husky demand sent a shiver down Sirius's spine. "Hard. Please." Remus had never said such words to him when they had been together. Sirius hadn't been ready to be mated, to be tied down to one person. He'd been too much of a rebel. He'd been an idiot.

He watched as Remus's hands clutched at Cassius's shoulders. He watched as Remus's back arched, watched as Remus's head tossed back and forth. He listened as Remus's voice became a stream of pleas and demands. The table creaked as Cassius sped up, Remus's nails dug into the wood. Cassius leaned over and captured Remus's mouth, swallowing his moans. He straightened, taking one hand off the table and moving it to where Sirius couldn't see.

Sirius realized he was painfully hard. He moved quietly to stand against the wall outside the kitchen. He could still hear the harsh breathing, the moans, the words of love. His hand snaked down to his pants, rubbing himself through the fabric. He matched Cassius's rhythm, judging by the noises that Remus made, and came at the same time.

* * *

"Remus, I can't snuggle, I have to go." Cassius tried to loosen Remus's grip on his shirt. "I have five minutes before I have to meet Kingsley at the office."

"When will you be back?" Remus sat up.

"I don't know." Cassius zipped his pants up and buckled his belt. "You had your two doses?"

"Yes." Remus's fingers clenched tighter in Cassius's shirt while Cassius buttoned up Remus's robes quickly. "Why don't you know? This isn't an assignment for work?"

"Yes and no."

"What does that mean?

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Remus felt the ever-present knot in his stomach tighten.

"Because you'll ask me not to go." Cassius's fingers pressed down on Remus's bite mark, calming him. "I'll be all right." He leaned in and kissed Remus gently. "I love you, sweetheart."

"I can't let you go." Remus's fingers refused to obey him and they remained tightly fisted around the fabric of Cassius's shirt. Cassius pressed down harder on the bite mark, turning Remus into a relaxed puddle in Cassius's arms.

"Walk me to the door then."

Sirius swore softly. They'd pass him, he gathered his courage and he walked into the kitchen.

"Thought I heard your voice." He said casually to Cassius. Remus's face was buried in Cassius's neck and Cassius's arms were hugging Remus close. Cassius looked over at him thoughtfully.

"I was just leaving." Remus made a muffled noise of protest. "You're keeping him company tonight?"

"Yes."

"Good." Cassius threaded his hands through Remus's hair, pulling his face up. "Are you still walking me to the door? Or will you be ok here with Sirius?"

"I'll walk you to the door." Remus whispered. He wound his arms tightly around Cassius's chest as he hopped off the table. He knew Cassius was going somewhere very dangerous if he wouldn't tell him. He buried his face in Cassius's neck again. He was going to stay as close to Cassius for as long as he could. Cassius wrapped one arm around Remus's back.

"See you later, cousin." Cassius nodded at Sirius as they walked out of the kitchen. Sirius nodded, slightly embarrassed, seeing in the green eyes gleaming knowledge of Sirius's spent arousal. Sirius grabbed his wand and did a cleaning spell on himself so Remus wouldn't notice. A few minutes later, Remus walked slowly back down the stairs into the kitchen. He absently pressed down on his bite mark, calming himself. The panic attacks had started soon after the news of Voldemort's return, and now Cassius was going somewhere dangerous, for who knew how long. Remus took a deep breath and pressed harder, feeling the calm spread over his body.

"You all right?" Sirius asked, concern shading his gray eyes.

"Yes. I just get more emotional around the full moon and being separated doesn't help." Remus tried to smile reassuringly.

"Does he stay with you when you're transformed?"

"Yes. Ever since the Wolfsbane potion was invented."

Sirius decided he would try to distract Remus from his worries. "You ever done it with him when you're the wolf?"

"No!" Remus gave a shocked laugh.

"You've thought about it though, haven't you?"

"No, I have not. I'm not like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius pretended to be insulted.

"I seem to remember you 'experimenting' with that poodle who lived down the street from Lily and James."

"Ah, Daphne." Sirius sighed. "I never did anything with her, we just flirted."


	44. Homecoming

Author's Note: This chapter refers to some of the events in Chapter 8 in Old and New Relations.

I can tell school has started because reviews are just trickling in now. :-)

I will be posting the next (and final) chapter in this story on Monday (9/6). Then…drum roll, I will start posting my new Sirius story. :-)

**Chapter 44 Homecoming**

Cassius had been gone for a month, returning in time for their anniversary, the day of the next full moon. He arrived at Grimmauld Place tired, hungry and achy. He went almost straight up to Remus's room. Being greeted by a high-strung wolf was one way to celebrate an anniversary he reflected. He unlocked the door and cautiously opened it. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. In a flash, a large grey wolf was by his side. He crouched down to greet it.

"I heard you howl. You have bruises tomorrow from bashing that door." He reached his hands out and rubbed behind the wolf's ears. Cassius gazed around the room, it was dimly lit by the fire. There was a comfortable looking bed in the corner next to a table with a stack of books on it. He looked down at the wolf again. It was always strange to think of Remus being inside this animal.

The wolf whined.

"I missed you too. But I had to be gone. I'm sorry. It was worth it though, I found out a lot."

The wolf whined again, setting a big paw on Cassius's left shoulder for a moment.

"I know…I love you too. Happy anniversary." Cassius watched the wolf tilt his head. "You didn't think I'd remember? Well…I didn't…Tabby reminded me. It's our 10th…that's a big thing, isn't it? When you're human again, I have all sorts of plans for you." The wolf licked his face causing Cassius to laugh. "I have to go file a report at the Ministry. I'll come back in the morning."

He hugged the wolf before standing up, burying his face in the rough fur. He took a deep breath and could smell the faint scent of lavender from Remus's shampoo. He gave the wolf one last pat.

"I love you."

The wolf gave a short yodeling howl in response.

Cassius went back down into the kitchen and was talked into having dinner with Sirius and his guests. Molly Weasley's cooking was almost as good as Tabby's and he was hungry.

* * *

He returned in the morning to see Remus. He met Sirius halway up the first flight of stairs.

"I heard the knock." Sirius said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Kreacher got there first. Sorry." Cassius said, noticing Sirius had dark smudges under his eyes.

"I knew it had to be you when I heard Kreacher run past my door. I just thought I'd better check."

"Good idea."

"'Constant Vigilance', eh?" Sirius smiled. Cassius smiled back. "Remus is still up in his room. Molly will be fixing breakfast soon, come down when you're ready." Sirius walked down the steps towards the kitchen. Cassius nodded before running up the rest of the stairs to Remus.

* * *

"Remus?" Cassius opened the door. Remus was lying on the bed, huddled under the covers. Even from across the room, Cassius could see he was shivering. He looked over towards the fire which was dying out. He stuck his head out the door. "Kreacher!" In a moment, Kreacher was bowing before him. "Bring wood. In the future, don't let the fire in this room die down. Understand me?"

"Yes, Master Cassius. You wish Kreacher to keep the werewolf warm. Kreacher will do your bidding. Mistress loves Master Cassius, even if he does love the half-blood dark creature."

"The wood." He repeated coolly. Kreacher vanished and reappeared a moment later standing next to the fire with a bundle of wood. He added the wood to the fire. In a moment it was blazing brightly.

"Thank you, Kreacher, that will be all." 

"Yes, Master Cassius." Kreacher nodded. "Mistress requests you visit her."

"Tell her I will." Kreacher bowed low and then scurried out the door.

Cassius closed the door and locked it. "Baby, I'm sorry, it will warm up soon." He walked quickly over to the bed and laid down, gathering Remus into his arms. Remus moaned in pain.

"What's the matter?" Cassius asked immediately.

"I think my shoulder's dislocated." Remus tried to snuggle closer in spite of it.

Cassius gently pushed Remus onto his back and felt his shoulder. "It is. That will teach you to try to break through a door. Ready?" Remus nodded, gritting his teeth. Cassius popped the joint back in place. "Did you think I wouldn't come see you last night?"

"I wanted to make sure you would. I had to know you were all right." Remus's voice was soft. "I was so worried about you."

"And I was all right, wasn't I?" Cassius pulled off his coat, he reached in a pocket and pulled out the healing salve. He smoothed the salve over Remus's shoulder and watched the huge bruise fade. "Is that the only one?" Remus nodded. Cassius set down the salve and pulled Remus back into his arms, Remus buried his head in Cassius's neck. He felt Remus relax as the heat from the fire radiated through the room. "Sirius said you haven't been eating lately."

"I tried. I couldn't." Remus's voice was muffled against Cassius's skin as he tried to snuggle even closer. "Happy Birthday."

"Can I have my birthday sex now?" Cassius asked, brushing his mouth against Remus's. Remus nodded and Cassius stood and quickly pulled off his clothing. Remus watched silently as Cassius's muscular body was revealed. Cassius got under the covers and pulled Remus towards him.

Remus stroked his hands over Cassius's back as they kissed, feeling the muscles clench under the old scars that criss-crossed his mate's back.

"Where's my present?" Cassius whispered as he kissed Remus's neck.

Remus sighed with pleasure as Cassius's hot hands searched over his body. "It's at Windy Corner." Remus swirled his tongue around Cassius's ear. "Put a silencing charm on my room, please. I don't want them to hear you yelling out my name."

"Me yelling? More like you yelling." Cassius felt a bolt of desire course through his body as Remus licked the bite mark on his shoulder.

Cassius was kissing down Remus's neck when Remus suddenly felt lightheaded and everything went gray.

"Remus! Remus!" Cassius was shaking him, sounding panicked.

"What? Sorry." Remus raised a trembling hand to his head, he felt dizzy and cold.

"You need to eat. Damn it, why didn't you eat?" Cassius sat up quickly, pulling his clothes back on.

"I couldn't. Don't be mad at me." Remus rolled over, reaching for Cassius.

"Remus, you're thin enough as it is, you can't not eat." Cassius stood and went to get clothes for Remus out of the closet.

"I didn't know where you were."

"You knew I was alive." Cassius replied calmly. "I'm sorry I couldn't owl the past couple weeks." He helped Remus to sit up and dressed him in a sweater, boxers and jeans. Remus submitted silently to the handling. Cassius crouched down in front of where Remus sat on the bed to put shoes on his feet.

"I waited every day to feel the bond break," Remus said softly, reaching out to touch Cassius's face. "I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I had panic attacks. I could barely focus enough to read or to talk to Sirius. I just waited." As the days went by and there had been no word from Cassius, Remus's active imagination had provided him with many disturbing possibilities of where Cassius was. "He took away everyone I cared about once, I can't live through it if it happens again. I can't." Remus whispered brokenly, feeling tears start to well up in his eyes.

A moment later he was being held so tightly, Remus couldn't breathe. "It won't happen again." Cassius said fervently.

"You can't know that, you can't promise me that." Remus's voice was thick with emotion.

"You're right. I can't promise that…I wish I could." Cassius kissed Remus gently. "I do promise you I will do everything in my power to keep us both alive." Remus nodded, unable to speak anymore around the large lump in his throat. "Let's get you something to eat."

* * *

A few minutes later, they were in the kitchen having breakfast with Sirius, Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys. Cassius had stopped to say visit briefly with his aunt's portrait on the way. Remus leaned against Cassius as he slowly ate some toast.

"Remus said it's your birthday today." Molly Weasley said as she sipped her tea.

"Uh huh."

"Happy birthday." Harry said with a grin.

"Thanks." Cassius smiled back. Harry's smile got wider. Cassius was happy that Harry seemed to like him, he remembered Harry hugging him when he'd given Harry the foe glass in the summer.

"And how old are you?"

"He's 32." Remus answered when Cassius had seemed to start counting in his head.

"I thought your birthday was on Christmas." Sirius said with a touch of confusion.

"No."

"Why did we _always _have a cake for you on Christmas then?"

"Because Aunt _always_ insisted." Cassius responded, mimicking Sirius's tone.

"Why?" Sirius persisted.

"Because my actual birthday was spent learning dark magic so I didn't get a cake." Cassius answered calmly. "And Aunt thought I should get a cake." Cassius took a bite of his eggs, watching Remus carefully. "Speaking of cake, Tabby baked a birthday cake for me. You could all come over to Windy Corner this evening."

"We can have it here." Remus said softly, knowing Cassius didn't like to have people over to their house.

"No, we can't. Because I'm taking you home as soon as you're done eating and you're staying there for a few days." Cassius kissed Remus's temple and Remus nodded.

"A birthday party would be fun. Give us all something nice to focus on." Molly said, smiling. Arthur was still in hospital with the snake bite but was recovering well.

"Good. Come over at 7 for dinner." Cassius turned back to Remus. "You done?"

Remus nodded, he'd managed to eat two pieces of toast, his stomach was still in a knot. He just wanted to get home now. "Thank you for breakfast, Molly."

"You're welcome, Remus. Glad to see you eating again."

Remus stood up and swayed slightly, going paler. Cassius stood up quickly and pulled Remus into his arms just as he fainted again.

"Thank you for breakfast, Molly." Cassius said quickly before Disapparating home, Remus still held tightly to his chest.

* * *

"Tabby!" Cassius called as soon as they were in Windy Corner. He heard her footsteps down the stairs.

"What is it?" Tabby walked quickly into the kitchen.

"Remus hasn't been eating, for about a week, Sirius said." Cassius was starting to feel panicky as he looked down at Remus who was still unconscious. Tabby put her hand on his forehead and Remus's eyes fluttered open.

"Hello, dearie." Tabby caressed Remus's thin cheek. Remus's eyes fluttered shut again. "Get him in bed, I'll get some potions. Did he eat before you brought him home?"

"He ate some toast."

"I'll make him some potatoes and eggs. I'll bring it up."

Cassius nodded before carrying Remus up to their room.

"You don't need to be at work?" Remus asked weakly, regaining consciousness as Cassius set him on their bed and pulled his shoes off.

"I have a week off, for working so much this past month." Cassius took off Remus's clothes and tucked Remus under the covers.

"So you _were_ gone for work?"

"Yes, I was, for some of it." Cassius was quiet as he waved his hand at the fireplace making the wood there burst into flames. "I also saw Luke, went to a Death Eater party, heard their sales pitch, was asked to join, and said I'd think about it."

"Oh." Remus felt too weak and drained to be upset or scared.

"I'll expect you to get really upset at me when you've gotten some rest and some food."

"Here you go." Tabby came in carrying a tray. She set it over Remus's lap. His stomach growled as he smelled the delicious food. "I expect this all to be eaten, Remus Lupin. First, drink this." Tabby gave him a glass full of a milky looking liquid. Remus knew from past experience that it was a nasty tasting combination strengthening and nutrient potion. Remus drank it obediently. "And this." She handed him another small glass filled with a calming potion, he drank it too. "And this." Remus felt steam pour out of his ears.

"I hate pepper-up potion." He grumbled, feeling much better in spite of his complaint. Tabby smiled gently.

"I'll bring up lunch at noon." Tabby turned on Cassius. "No sex until he's eaten."

"Of course not." Cassius said immediately, intimidated by the glare Tabby was giving him.

"You can read him the articles from the Prophet if he stays awake." Tabby handed Cassius the newspaper and walked out of the room, heels clicking on the wood floor.

"Come sit with me." Remus patted the bed beside him. Cassius walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Why are you way over there? I'm cold." Cassius move right next to Remus, putting his arm around Remus's shoulders and pulling him tight against his side.

"Better now?"

"Much." Remus rested his head back against Cassius's shoulder as he started to eat.

"Do I really have to read you the articles?"

"Yes." Remus smiled. The next forty minutes was spent with Cassius reading from the Daily Prophet, punctuated with comments like "That's shit, it didn't have happen like that" and "This is _such_ rubbish!" and "I can't believe I'm fucking reading this!" and "They actually have a horoscope? What's my sign?"

"I'm done eating now." Remus put his fork down, he'd cleaned his plate. Tabby's cooking was delicious as always.

"All right." Cassius didn't look up, he'd discovered the Daily Prophet Quidditch page.

"We can have sex now."

"Uh huh."

"You can fuck me now." Remus gave Cassius's ear a lick.

"Yeah." Cassius still didn't look up.

"Cassius Lupin!" Remus grabbed the paper away from him. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Uh. Yes?" Green eyes blinked at him.

"What'd I say then?"

"Oh…um..." Cassius looked down at Remus's tray. "You're done eating. Great, we can have sex now."

Remus shook his head as Cassius stood up and took the tray off of Remus's lap and set it on the floor.

"You do realize I will tell Liam and Jack that you read the Daily Prophet without being tortured into it."

"Aw, Remus, don't. I only read the Quidditch page."

"You read the whole thing! The Quidditch page is the last one!"

"But you made me read the rest!"

"Mmm." Remus crossed his arms.

"Don't tell them, please."

"I won't tell them if…"

"What?" Cassius asked anxiously.

"If you get naked and in bed with me." Remus wiggled down on the bed.

"I was going to do that anyway." Cassius drawled as he arched an eyebrow before quickly pulling off his clothes.

"I didn't finish. And you have to…um…" Remus couldn't think now that Cassius was standing in front of him naked. "Um… kiss me." He managed to get out.

"I'm planning to do much more than that." Cassius climbed into the bed gathered Remus close to him. "So you won't tell them?"

"No." Remus sighed as Cassius's limbs caressed his own. "I missed you so much. I can't even tell you how much I missed you." 

"I understand, I missed you too."


	45. Love Found

**Chapter 45 Love Found**

"Cass." Remus poked his head into the library where Cassius was bent over a report.

"Mmm?"

"Do you know what day today is?"

"Oh – it's…I know this….it's…it's Tuesday." Cassius looked up, feeling proud that he remembered the day of the week.

"Well…yes, it is." Remus said with a fond smile. "It's also the anniversary of our first kiss."

"Really?"

"Yes, twelve years ago today."

"Twelve years ago? That's a long time…Really?"

"Yes, really. I thought we could celebrate it." Remus walked towards Cassius and brushed a hand through his husband's silky hair.

"Should I have remembered that?" Cassius's brows were knit together with concern.

"No, I didn't remember it until I found one of my old journals in the attic last week." Remus had gone through an old box of his to distract himself from the fact that Voldemort was gaining power again. It had worked somewhat.

"You kept a journal? I didn't know that."

"I still keep a journal, I usually write in it when you're at work."

"Oh. Could I read it?"

"If you wanted to. You know, you could keep one, it would help you remember things."

"No – I'd just get annoyed about all the things I forget if I ever went back and read it." Cassius scowled as Remus leant down and kissed him on the forehead.

"I'm cooking dinner, want to keep me company?"

"What are you cooking?" Cassius stood and stretched, a couple vertebrae in his back popping.

"Spaghetti." Remus said as he headed back down to the kitchen with Cassius following.

Cassius sat at the kitchen table while Remus went over to the stove to stir the pasta. "Is Sirius coming over?"

"No, he and Jack are having dinner."

"I told you." Cassius said proudly.

"You did." Remus smiled back.

"And we don't have an Order meeting tonight?"

"No…it's tomorrow. Could we just pretend…just for tonight…Voldemort isn't hatching evil plots and we're safe and happy?"

"We _are_ safe and happy." Cassius smiled. "I don't need to pretend."

Remus smiled back, it was true. He was safe at home and he was happy to be with Cassius. It didn't matter what was going on in the rest of the world.

"Where's Tabby?"

"At Hogwarts with her sister. And before you ask, Clara and Stevens are having dinner with friends so they won't be popping over either. It's just the two of us, for the whole evening."

"You cooked spaghetti the night we first kissed." Cassius said, after looking at Remus for a moment.

"Yes, I did."

"I remember that." Cassius said proudly.

"I'm impressed." Remus said as he chopped carrots for their salad. Slowly, arms wound around Remus's waist and Cassius rested his chin on Remus's shoulder. Remus shivered as he felt warm breath on his neck.

"How old are you now?" Cassius murmured against his skin

"Thirty five."

"So…you've been kissing me for almost a third of your life." Cassius licked up Remus's neck.

"The best third." Remus said with a smile.

"Could we kiss now?" Cassius whispered into his ear.

Remus set down the knife and turned around. "Of course."

Cassius bent his head down and Remus wound his arms around Cassius's neck, pulling himself close to Cassius's body. Cassius put his arms under Remus's and easily lifted him up so that their bodies were aligned. Remus moaned as he felt Cassius's hardness rub against his own. Cassius's tongue was sliding in his mouth, his hands were sliding around his back. Even after twelve years, Remus still got lightheaded from kissing Cassius. He broke the kiss, panting. Cassius was breathing hard too.

"I love you." Remus said breathlessly. "Now – get the wine."

"We get wine?"

"It's an anniversary." Remus said, with a grin.

Cassius came out of the pantry a moment later holding a bottle in his hand. "You know, when you're 46 you'll have been kissing me for half your life."

"And here I always wondered when I would finally see the brains that landed you in Ravenclaw." Remus said, laughing. Remus pulled Cassius in for another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you." Cassius said. "So…are we having sex tonight?"

"You ask that like we don't have sex almost every night. And – to be historically accurate, as I am trying to be, we'd be sleeping apart since I'd be at my parents' house."

"But you don't own that anymore." Cassius said. "You can't be historically accurate."

"I guess we'll be having sex then." Remus hid a smile.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Cassius said crankily.

"Oh, I want to." Remus said as he reached for two plates. "I might not be able to make it through dinner."

"Well, we're all alone, no one is coming over and we don't have to go anywhere. We could have sex _during_ dinner."

"We could." Remus smiled. "Although I was rather planning that we would shag in the sitting room in front of the fire while we ate dessert."

"Really?" Cassius's eyes began to spark with excitement.

"Really. There's ice cream and chocolate sauce and whipped cream."

"Can we have dessert now?" Cassius asked hopefully.

"No."

"Mean wife."

Remus just laughed as he levitated the food over to the table and sat down. Cassius reached across the table and took Remus's hand in his.

"I'm glad we're together, Remus."

"Me too, Cassius."

"And we'll be together forever."

"Yes, we will."

** THE END! ******

Author's Note: Thank you to all my reviewers and to everyone who read this story. I loved writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it!!

For further adventures with Remus and Cassius, check out my new spin-off "Back in Black."


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